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Author Topic: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers  (Read 2834 times)

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Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« on: June 02, 2006, 08:49:18 AM »
Dear Lesser Specimens of the Species,

They say it's a long time between drinks. That being the case it's an even longer time between sips from Matty the Damned's infamous Mucky Bucket O' Net NastiesTM. My previous incarnation 'xdenizen' made these salty offerings well known in the old forums and I have to say that I feel it necessary to honour the memory of that soft-hearted old do-gooder by continuing the tradition.

For those of you who have had your heads dunked in the Mucky Bucket on previous occasions, this will come as no surprise. For newer members, I hope you brought  change of underwear.

Let us begin by considering a practice that is no doubt close to the hearts (so to speak) of many AIDSMEDS Forums Community members. These days appearance is everything, but a pretty face is not nearly enough. Rather the respectable pervert needs to know how to keep his winkie it's whitest.

What a censored world we live in! Google has safesearch, Yahoo! edits it's personals section for "inappropriate material", pornographic websites are required by the US government to certify that the brain dead twinks who slut about on their pages are over 18. You can't even see Janet Jackson's cosmetically enhanced tit on prime time TV without the Religious Right cracking an outraged hard on. What is a dedicated pervert to do? Rest easy, oh registered sex offenders of AIDSMEDS for Matty the Damned presents the Search Engine for the Rest of Us. Surf if you dare!

Now it is well known that I am not a cat lover. I stand accused of outrageous prejudice towards the feline species. Nevertheless, many of my nearest and dearest are kitty fans. Little Squeakie-Boi with his animal rights thread made me re-consider my views on this matter. Not only that I remember the distress that my beloved elder sister felt when her adored cat Bam-Bam passed away last year. I now know better, and hope to assist those who have lost their dear pussies in creating a lasting memorial. If I've ever said anything to you about cats that was offensive, I apologise. Please accept this as a token of my contrition.

Like many people my age, I grew up on a rich diet of the works of Roald Dahl. Which would explain a bit. Nevertheless, I always felt that there was a dark vein of depravity running through his classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. As usual I was right.

A considerable minority of AIDSMEDS members have children. This, they tell me, is admirable. I'll take their word for it. I'm not much of a child person, but I fancy that the parents who belong to our motley crew have better taste than these people when it comes to naming their crotch-trophies. Honestly if I was that kid, I'd have prayed for abortion.

I don't want to be insensitive, but let's face it; most of us here at AIDSMEDS are going to die sooner than we hoped. Pat Robertson's God is an AWESOME God afterall! I think it's got something to do with that whole HIV thing. Fortunately there's no need to stress about how your dearly beloved will cope when you've gone to the Great Big ASO in the Sky. Now they can send you an Afterlife Telegram! And you thought death would get you away from the miserable arseholes!

And finally, oh shell shocked brothers and sisters, something from my own private collection. A special selection for those of you from the Deep South of the USA, New Zealand and Canada. I give you Matty the Damned's famous opinion on heterosexual sex. You know it makes sense.

MtD
(Who says what you wish you'd said cocksucker)

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,941
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2006, 09:20:32 AM »
Oh Matty-poo....my Australian Pan(the Roman God,not cookware)of wrongness...how I love you! I play my didgeridoo naked in your honor,sir.

Forever,
Hal :o

Offline Duude

  • Member
  • Posts: 30
  • VANS Warped Tour Kicked ASS
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2006, 09:36:53 AM »
Hey Matty,
   I stumbled onto your spincycle site and was very entertained.  Great links and great writing style.  Keep up the good work and such.
Duude

Offline Oscar

  • Member
  • Posts: 244
  • 20 Years POZ
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2006, 11:08:24 AM »
THANK YOU MY DEAREST MATTY!!!!
 :-*

Dan

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2006, 11:30:37 AM »
My pleasure dear! I deal a clean line in cyber gore!

And trust me, there's plenty more to come. Including some SMASHING advertisements that were popular in New York some time back.

Who would have thought?

;D

MtD

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,103
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2006, 05:52:19 PM »
I love the afer lifetelegram.....

imagine ...."yes, I f*****d your wife "
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,382
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2006, 06:40:07 PM »
Now that's more like it! I feel refreshed and rejuvenated!

Mark

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline cmhjeff

  • Member
  • Posts: 870
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2006, 08:44:44 AM »
Well stated :)

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2006, 12:02:55 PM »
There's the Matty I fell head-over-heels for!

Although they were all superb in their own unique ways, the pussy link is, in my humble opinion, the sweetest and most touching. Does anybody remember my infamous "rabbit stew" escapade?

Brent
(Who is all aglow)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,103
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Mucky Bucket O' Net Nasties: Inside My Trousers
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2006, 05:24:26 PM »
Coco,

Tell me about the rabbit stew.....

I am aflame here....

hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

 


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