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Author Topic: life and regrets  (Read 1313 times)

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Offline wiwada

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
life and regrets
« on: July 21, 2010, 07:05:27 PM »
Ok , I thought it was time to leave the ďjust tested ď area . Iím not yet living with it  more like living against it but I canít change it and maybe Iíll get there  (the living with part I mean)
I recently turned 29  and I wish I could start my 20ies all over again . Why are people so stupid when they are in their decision making period ?  I finished school  without a clue (or thatís what I told everybody)  what I wanted in life , I spend time working here and there  and then  did some  social work in a nursing home. Then I went to university to study history . Not because I saw myself as a historian but because that was my favourite subject at school .All the time I wanted something completely different , I just lacked the courage to do it .  Now this infection has me re-evaluating my entire  life . Iím almost through with my studies and then I will be stuck with a degree  and a potential job Iím not really interested in ( I like history as a hobby on the side  but no  way I want that to be my life). 5 years , make me 5 years younger and I would start all over again.

Oh and Iím going sailing  :)  (without disclosing, not there yet)

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,009
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: life and regrets
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2010, 07:22:47 PM »
The majority of people will change careers several times in their lifetime. You are only 29 so you have a lot of time to pursue your passion. HIV has made many people examine their lives and make changes. Maybe confronting HIV will give you the courage to do what you really want. What is it you want to do next?

Offline hotpuppy

  • Member
  • Posts: 555
Re: life and regrets
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2010, 08:54:09 PM »
Ok , I thought it was time to leave the ďjust tested ď area . Iím not yet living with it  more like living against it but I canít change it and maybe Iíll get there  (the living with part I mean)
I recently turned 29  and I wish I could start my 20ies all over again . Why are people so stupid when they are in their decision making period ?  I finished school  without a clue (or thatís what I told everybody)  what I wanted in life , I spend time working here and there  and then  did some  social work in a nursing home. Then I went to university to study history . Not because I saw myself as a historian but because that was my favourite subject at school .All the time I wanted something completely different , I just lacked the courage to do it .  Now this infection has me re-evaluating my entire  life . Iím almost through with my studies and then I will be stuck with a degree  and a potential job Iím not really interested in ( I like history as a hobby on the side  but no  way I want that to be my life). 5 years , make me 5 years younger and I would start all over again.

Oh and Iím going sailing  :)  (without disclosing, not there yet)


Oh dear, ...  I guess you didn't see the fine print in your degree that said "education is not the same as job training." 

Realistically your degree is to round your education off.  It's better to do it because you enjoy the field and are passionate then because you are a greedy sob and just want to make a buck. 

If you can have it both ways that's even better... but realisitically it's better to be happy then to be rich.  I personally aim for comfortable and happy.

Life, for me, is like sailing.  I don't expect to get to the end right away, I expect several course corrections.  Sometimes it's because of a shoal (rocky shallow area), sometimes a storm threatens, sometimes I just think something interesting is in a different direction.  There is no wrong course in life.  It is not a race that is won by speed, but by endurance and enjoyment. 

Can't source the quote, but better to be a jack of all trades then master of none.... or something like that. 

A history degree is just as good as any other degree unless you wanna be a rocket scientist, brain surgeon, or pharmacist, in which case it's time to add on to your first major.  The most important thing is that you finish your degree.  In finishing you will graduate to a new section of the race that many people don't have the determination to reach.

Life is a game of rules in which you can write many of the rules.  Why suffer under rules you don't like?
Don't obsess over the wrong things.  Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion.  It's about getting out there and enjoying it.   I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Offline newt

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,878
  • the one and original newt
Re: life and regrets
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2010, 07:09:46 PM »
Very few people get to re-evaluate their life in their 20s and early 30s, it's usually later when it's harder. So an opportunity then....
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline PaulinNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 124
Re: life and regrets
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2010, 06:27:56 AM »
When I got my diagnosis in 2001, a dear friend of mine (he was in LA, me in NYC area) listened to me bawl, sniffle and go bonkers over the phone. He was diagnosed in 81 or so...he gave me some sage advice. "You need to mourn. Mourn for your old life. But also look ahead and create a new one."

When I took that approach, for some reason, it made it easier to allow myself that grief. And 10 years later I am still on my journey at 50 years old. It IS about the journey, not the destination...so, stop, look, and listen at times during your day...take a deep, cleansing breath, and say to yourself, "It is what it is."

My 30's and 40's were wonderful. I am blessed to have loyal, loving friends. Enjoy each day and moment. Your 30's and 40's will get here soon enough (but will you still like me when I'm 80? lol ... sorry, dark humor)...surround yourself with solitude as well as others who support and respect mutually and you're going to be just fine! Take it from an "old fart"! LOL

Respectfully,
"Dat guy from Joisey"
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: life and regrets
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2010, 11:04:53 AM »
Oh and Iím going sailing  :) 

Good for you! I'm so glad you decided to not let hiv stop you living and enjoying your life.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hotpuppy

  • Member
  • Posts: 555
Re: life and regrets
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2010, 11:22:06 PM »
Good for you! I'm so glad you decided to not let hiv stop you living and enjoying your life.

Gosh I completely missed the sailing thing.

No need to disclose there..... just make sure they have a decent first aid kit on board.  And if you get cut or injured remind the other person to where gloves for your protection and theirs.  It's very unlikely.

I did my ASA (American Sailing Association) certification a few years ago when I bought my second sailboat.  I have a Tartan 27 and it's a really enjoyable way to play.  I also have a vintage race boat I'm restoring and it will be a adrenaline packed way to play.  Nova Marine 25, Twin Ford Windsor 351s with numerous mods.... suspected to be 450+ Horsepower engines.  muhahaha.   Boat was originally part of the Blonde Racing Team from the early 70s.  We think it is Blonde 1.  Anyhow I got it cheap and it's a mess right now..... so it's my tinker project.

Back to your post, you can do damn near anything you want including sailing, scuba, or mountain climbing.  Just be safe, watch out for your physical limits and respect mother nature... cuz she'll whip your ass if you don't.
Don't obsess over the wrong things.  Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion.  It's about getting out there and enjoying it.   I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: life and regrets
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2010, 11:24:13 PM »
Gosh I completely missed the sailing thing.

No need to disclose there..... just make sure they have a decent first aid kit on board.  And if you get cut or injured remind the other person to where gloves for your protection and theirs.  It's very unlikely.

I did my ASA (American Sailing Association) certification a few years ago when I bought my second sailboat.  I have a Tartan 27 and it's a really enjoyable way to play.  I also have a vintage race boat I'm restoring and it will be a adrenaline packed way to play.  Nova Marine 25, Twin Ford Windsor 351s with numerous mods.... suspected to be 450+ Horsepower engines.  muhahaha.   Boat was originally part of the Blonde Racing Team from the early 70s.  We think it is Blonde 1.  Anyhow I got it cheap and it's a mess right now..... so it's my tinker project.

Back to your post, you can do damn near anything you want including sailing, scuba, or mountain climbing.  Just be safe, watch out for your physical limits and respect mother nature... cuz she'll whip your ass if you don't.

I think you missed the sailing thing in more ways than one.

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=32797.0

MtD

 


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