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Author Topic: An Aids Thing  (Read 1700 times)

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Offline simon695

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
An Aids Thing
« on: September 01, 2006, 04:01:11 AM »
I Can't Decide If I Feel Better Or Worse When I Find Other People
Stating Identical Symptoms Or Feelings To Myself, It Becomes An
Aids Thing.I Remember Last Summer Catching A Fungal Skin
Condition That Was Very Virilant And Noticable And Despite Having
Had It Before This Time It Would Not Respond To Lamisil Treatment,
So I Googled It And It Came Up Straightaway As An Aids Thing.
Well Don't Ask Me Why But I Fell Apart,I Really Did Not Get Over It
Till I Took A Break This Spring To Tan It Away.This Was Really Such
A Tiny Thing That Became A Mountain,The Constant Tiredness,The
Bad Stomach And Brain Fog Are Now All Familiar And Inevitable But
Surely Worse By Far!I Can Only Think I Was Frightened That Everyone
Will Look At Me And Know I Was HIV+.

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: An Aids Thing
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2006, 06:42:19 AM »
Hey Simon....


                         Indeed living with HIV is a challenge.  I dare say we all wonder at times if we have the word AIDS tattooed on our foreheads.  But I have discovered for the most part that most people do not have a clue....so don't sweat it.  I recall years ago when I was a Maitre'd a friend came into the restaurant to eat and being in the late stages of Aids...the guy had some serious lesions/infections on his face...and I remember thinking how very brave and remarkable he must be to endure the stares of everyone just to show his face in public.  To this day...and he's been gone a long time now, I think of him with great admiration.
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 508
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: An Aids Thing
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2006, 06:10:30 PM »
The people who would stare are most deserving of a big wet kiss, if only to enlighten them beyond the fear they wallow in. Most people can't tell that I'm a homosexual - unless I'm feeling particularly syballant - and even fewer can tell that I'm HIV positive. Our own awareness is acurse sometimes. I fully support your decision to tan, despite what's in fashion these days! My suspected immune reconstitutive response is starting to fade, but having been to several doctors and one specialist about this unpleasant itching and non-resolvable condition from an antibiotic and antifungal stanpoint has been yet another chore in a long list of many that I've faced since being diagnosed.

Think how educated we're all becoming. It's a, sometimes painful, gift.

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,503
Re: An Aids Thing
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2006, 06:24:34 PM »
Hey Simon,

I went through this phase and I believe that part of it is fueled by the gay community, because to many, if you are not buff and built, forget it.  It's the same thing with HIV.  At some point you will become comfortable with who and what you are and that includes how you look.  I used to be buff and built, but not any more and while I try my best to stay fit, I will never get rid of this mammoth stomach.

That leaves me with two options.  The first is to worry and demean myself because I don't conform to some others view of how I should look.  The second is to accept my lot in life, realize that I am doing all that I can to overcome my issues and let the rest just roll off my back.  In the end, the only approval or validation that you should ever need, must come from inside.

Yes HIV will change your life, but you are still in control of how you will allow those changes to affect you.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,388
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: An Aids Thing
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2006, 12:06:43 AM »
Hey Simon,
I was never buff, but I had a nice swimmer's body with pecs and a bubble butt.

Now, I have skinny arms, skinny legs, no butt and no pecs. But, that's OK. I still look in the mirror and like the man I see there.

It took a while for me to reach that point.

Funny part is that now, many of the unknowing think I must work out all the time and cycle everywhere I go because my calf and thigh muscles are cut and defined.

See, even lipo has its plusses!  ;D

After 26 years with this bug, that ain't too bad.

HUGS,

Mark

(Joe, by the way, only thinks he has an enormous gut. He is actually quite sexy.)
« Last Edit: September 02, 2006, 12:08:22 AM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: An Aids Thing
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2006, 05:16:31 AM »
Recently, I was given the joy of spending a week with the two men above.  Both of them are incredible men, and both are sexy in their own way.  Joe is tanned, healthy, and yes, just a tad bit paunchy.  Mark/Aztecan is ....  well  ... sorta skinny.  What I want to say though is that both of them are so incredibly beautiful in their spirit and in the way they travel through the world that the physical body is nothing to laugh about at all.  Both in their own way are beautiful and caring men.  THIS is the true beauty in all of us and to stress out about the "carriage" is the same as fretting about the type of car you own.  It means nothing. 

Please don't worry about this body we all have to deal with.  If we stay happy and healthy, we will project a beauty that all will see and the paunchy stomachs, and the skinny frames will not be the first thing people see at all. 

Remember guys, it is all in the eyes.  There is the real beauty in a person, and if we are clouded with doubt, and self loathing, well then we will project that through our eyes and then become less than what we have potential to be.

Just my feelings.

In Love.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: An Aids Thing
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2006, 06:44:52 AM »
The eyes are the window to a man's soul....No one knows im poz, and have been so for 22 years. Most think i'm making it up. So relax, and live worry free! Love to you
Jeff
Positive since 1985

 


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