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Author Topic: very worried  (Read 3988 times)

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Offline jamesss1

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very worried
« on: June 30, 2010, 07:14:55 AM »
im sure youve  had a story like this time and time again,im a married man living in the uk,i got drunk at the local pub and ended going back to a house,i asked if she was clean of std and she said yes and asked me same,we had unprotected oral  both ways,i wasnt able to get a propper erection and tried to have sex this was unprotected,i was so soft i only just managed to get in,after literally 30 second i gave up,i am so scared of hiv now and i know ive made a huge mistake,also i fingered her and i had a cut on cuticle dont think it was bleeding but did a bit earlier in day.

please advise

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: very worried
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2010, 07:47:28 AM »
Essentially I think you are worrying needlessly. The only bit which put you at risk potentially for HIV was the very brief (and unsuccessful)  effort at vaginal intercourse. Giving oral is only a theoretically a risk and receiving oral is absolutely not a risk. Fingering is also not a risk.

Strictly for your peace of mind you ought to get tested at 13 weeks to confirm your negative status. HIV is a fragile virus. It is significantly more difficult to transmit from female to male. Given yours was a single and very brief potential exposure, I really don't see your incident having been much of a risk if at all. But as I said the prudent thing is to get tested. You can do it initially at 6 weeks. A negative at that point is more than reassuring and points the way in your case to a virtual certainty of testing negative at 13 weeks.

I also want to point out that the use of the term "clean" to refer to HIV or STD status is considered rude and is unacceptable here. I know you don't intend to give offense, but HIV is not a matter of clean or dirty. It's a virus and using "clean" is insulting to those living with the virus.

I expect you to come out of this incident ok and negative.
Andy Velez

Offline jamesss1

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  • Posts: 9
Re: very worried
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2010, 08:03:08 AM »
sorry about that wasnt meant to be rude,ami right in thinking that from the incident ive described that not many people have become positive fromsuch a brief exposure?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: very worried
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2010, 08:28:56 AM »
Yes, exactly. It would very, very rare for that incident to have resulted in transmission.

I expect you to come out of this ok.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: very worried
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2010, 08:32:14 AM »
James,

It is highly unlikely that you'd end up positive over such a brief and unsuccessful vaginal incident. As Andy says, you should test mainly for your own peace of mind.

However, you were more at risk for the other, more easily transmitted STIs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia. You should book an appointment at your local GUM clinic about two weeks after this incident and get tested. Chlamydia often is present in men with no symptoms, so don't skip the GUM clinic just because your dick isn't dripping.

And next time you go home with someone from the pub, go to the toilet first and buy a condom from the machine. Your pub has no condom machine? Talk to the landlord - or buy your own and take a couple to the pub with you.

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jamesss1

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  • Posts: 9
Re: very worried
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2010, 08:34:58 AM »
ok thanks forthe advise,has anyone been infected that you know  of by such a brief encounter?

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: very worried
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2010, 08:39:48 AM »
James,

No, none that I know of has become infected with hiv from such a brief and unsuccessful encounter.

However, I know a few who have ended up with chlamydia over such an act. Book that GUM appointment.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jamesss1

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: very worried
« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2010, 09:45:24 AM »
its now 6 weeks since my poss exposure,i have now got smalls light pink itchy spots appearing on my sides under chest,ver small and itchy last 2 days or sonext day more apper then go away a couple of them are line small ackney spots had 2 on my left bicept aswell,if i was seroconverting does this sound like ars rash,ive heard thast if it was it would not itch,please answer,very worried now,also  back of neck aches a  bit

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: very worried
« Reply #8 on: July 05, 2010, 10:03:33 AM »
James,

The rash that sometimes - not always - accompanies seroconversion illness does not itch nor do they look like acne nor does it come and go. If anything, the rash looks more similar to a meningitis rash.

If you were going to have a seroconversion illness, you would have had it weeks ago, not at week six.

And don't forget, you did not have a risk for hiv infection. Did you get checked out for the STIs that you WERE at risk for?

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jamesss1

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: very worried
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2010, 03:49:14 AM »
i thought people could seroconvert up to 13 weeks,i just cant get my head round the face i have had unprotected penetration al be it very brief and not be at risk,is it common for someone lets say who has become positive to get these itchy acne type spots im getting?sorry to keep asking questions but im very anxious

Offline RapidRod

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Re: very worried
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2010, 04:37:52 AM »
3 months post exposure is when you can obtain a conclusive negative test result and move on.

Offline jamesss1

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Re: very worried
« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2010, 05:59:06 AM »
thanks but as i said i still  cant get my head round this

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: very worried
« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2010, 06:33:05 AM »
thanks but as i said i still  cant get my head round this

That isn't our problem.

We assess HIV risk and give testing and transmission advice accordingly. We are not a counselling service. If you're experiencing anxiety or other similar issues I encourage you to contact speak to a mental health professional.

MtD

Offline jamesss1

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  • Posts: 9
Re: very worried
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2010, 04:52:15 AM »
these spots on my side have been their for 5 days now and really itch i have 15 on each side,very small and pink ,i read on a forumthat sometimes ars rash itches

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: very worried
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2010, 04:56:14 AM »
these spots on my side have been their for 5 days now and really itch i have 15 on each side,very small and pink ,i read on a forumthat sometimes ars rash itches

The rash that some people get during the acute phase of HIV infection does not itch. You have been told this before.

Your rash is not caused by HIV because you were not at risk of infection in the first place. If you feel ill, please see a doctor. We are not able to provide you with the support that you need.

Continuous posting about non risk issues is prohibited under our posting guidelines. Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with those guidelines.

MtD

Offline jamesss1

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  • Posts: 9
Re: very worried
« Reply #15 on: July 10, 2010, 05:25:34 AM »
thanks matty,i post on here because its the best site ive found,the internet is very confusing as some sites say it does itch,but on here i feel you people are much more knowledgeable,

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: very worried
« Reply #16 on: July 10, 2010, 07:58:47 AM »
We can't be bothered with what other sites maybe putting out.

The ARS rash does not itch, as Matty has told you.

Given what you have reported of your incident there is every reason to expect a negative result when you test.

Meanwhile you need to make a real effort to focus on other things in your life. And don't bother saying you're too worried to do that. I can tell you that response is not going to fly here. Just do it and you will be surprised at how much easier the waiting time will be.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: very worried
« Reply #17 on: July 10, 2010, 08:04:12 AM »
James,

I've already told you that the rash that sometimes accompanies seroconversion is not the kind of rash that is on top of the skin. It isn't raised. It doesn't create bumps. It's more like a meningitis rash where it is simply a blotchy red discolouration under the surface of the skin. Rashes like that don't itch and they don't hurt. If you didn't see it on your body, you wouldn't know it was there.

A friend of mine had the ARS rash on her back - this rash most often presents somewhere on the torso, not the arms, legs or head. She only found out it was there when she went for a general check-up and immunisations before travelling to an Asian country. The doctor told her it was "probably nothing" but to cancel her travel plans if she felt unwell. She didn't and went on her holiday. She only found out what the rash was when she later tested positive for hiv.

But she had full-on unprotected intercourse with a positive person. You haven't. You haven't had a risk. Get on with your life. If you keep posting about this NO RISK incident, you'll be given that time out you've been warned about.

You still haven't told us whether or not you've been checked out for the STIs you WERE at risk for. What gives?

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jamesss1

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: very worried
« Reply #18 on: July 13, 2010, 07:29:54 AM »
ok ive been to the doctors with this mild rash,he says they are very small slightly puss filled spots that then crust over,like folliculitis,he gave me flucloxacillin to clear it up,i dint discuss hiv with him,various sites say folliculitis is common symptom of hiv when cd4 count gets low,does this happen after 7 weeks?rang uptoget hiv test they say wit until 13 weeks.if you decide to bar me fromhere fine,im only asking an hiv related question

thanks

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: very worried
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2010, 08:00:01 AM »
James,

Whatever is causing your rash is not hiv as you did not have a risk. Anyone can get folliculitis. ANYONE.


If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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