Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 18, 2014, 10:38:17 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 24249
  • Latest: Scot
Stats
  • Total Posts: 649838
  • Total Topics: 49597
  • Online Today: 284
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...  (Read 4319 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
I just started my norvir/reyataz/truvada 6mos ago...my vl undetectable  cd4 380  as of april....I have been sober from tina for 6mos...but this past week relasped and did not take my hiv meds for 1 week , I resumed them 2 nights ago and I am suffering severe naseau..should I continue...how bad have I fucked myself?I am so depressed I am also worried if it is safe to take my Dr's prescribed ambien cr (it was the only way I could sleep before my tina relaspe...I suffer from rapid cycling bipolar mania/depression...This is my first posting, I am new to this sight...I seroconverted about 1 year ago
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Online Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 13,204
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2010, 05:34:40 PM »
Hi Makoman , Welcome to the forums .

You should be OK starting back on your meds . Be sure to eat when you are supposed to wether you feel like it or not , it will help with the nausea and to get your strength back .

Meth addiction and HIV can be a terrible combo to manage , I know because I'm 10 years sober off that junk myself . It can be done .

This is a great place for support and information but there is no substitute for the advice and care of a doctor or counselor for your addiction and medical questions .     

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2010, 05:50:44 PM »
Mako,

I agree with JG.

One other thing, have you got any medciation to control your bipolar? Lithium and/or an anti-psychotic?

MtD

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2010, 08:22:43 PM »
I am supposed to be taking welbutrin xr and topamax...but have only taken my prescribed ambien cr to sleep....
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2010, 08:32:00 PM »
I am supposed to be taking welbutrin xr and topamax...but have only taken my prescribed ambien cr to sleep....

Hm. Certainly take the ambien if it's been prescribed. It will help with the sleeplessness. We don't want you cycling into a manic episode.

I am not a doctor or a psychologist, but if I were you I'd been getting the Welbutrin/Topamax combination reviewed. Such medications can cause problems for bipolar folks, particularly rapid cyclers. Most likely the Topamax has been prescribe to reduce the likelihood of seizures associated with Welbutrin use.

I suspect your manic depression and recreational drug use issues are strongly linked. You need to get these things sorted out before you will be able to manage your HIV infection properly.

I understand that it's easy for me to say these things but very hard for you to do them. Dealing with bipolar affective disorder is an enormous challenge.

Also welcome to the Forums. :)

MtD

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2010, 03:27:33 PM »
How much damage to my treatment have I done by mississing a week of hiv medication?
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2010, 03:42:48 PM »
Hi, welcome to the forums.

I am naive/curious - it's one thing to relapse with drugs, alcohol, and I guess to me it seems like another thing to quit taking HAART.   

Isn't it possible to at least stick to HAART, even if one is relapsing with the "fun" drugs?
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,511
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2010, 03:59:03 PM »
How much damage to my treatment have I done by mississing a week of hiv medication?

There's not really any way for us to answer this.  You could always ring up your doctor, state what happened and why, and ask what window would be good for doing your next lab work to see if resistance issues have surfaced.  Personally that's what I would do, and think any doctor would prefer that the patient be up front and do this.  They're not there to judge you, though they will refer you to counseling to address the relapse issue and/or to make sure you're addressing it.

The combination of new-to-treatment, addiction issue plus bipolar is going to require extra work on your part, but please make sure that your doctor is in on all of this.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Inchlingblue

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,119
  • Chad Ochocinco PETA Ad
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2010, 04:08:55 PM »
How much damage to my treatment have I done by mississing a week of hiv medication?

The real danger of stopping for a week is the possibility of resistance emerging to all or some of the drugs (since stopping for one week is not the same as taking an extended "drug holiday," which has been shown to pose more long term health risks, including higher instances of cancer and other complications).

There are too many factors involved to know for sure if in your case you have become resistant or not, only time will tell. The length of time you had been undetectable previous to stopping is one factor; also there are individual genetic variations that affect drug levels in our bodies.

If it makes you feel any better, there is a blogger on poz.com, Shawn Decker, who regularly takes his meds (the same ones as you: Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada) one week on, one week off and is doing well.  

Just because it works for him doesn't mean it'll work across the board but it's worth mentioning his approach especially since he's on the same meds as you are.

As mecch said, regardless of your meth relapse, try very hard not to just stop taking the HIV meds. The road to resistance is a slippery one and you would not want to be on salvage therapy.

LINKS:

http://www.poz.com/articles/shawn_decker_hiv_2303_16089.shtml

When do you next go in for blood work? This is when you'll know for sure if any resistance has developed.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2010, 05:56:59 PM by Inchlingblue »

Online Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 13,204
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2010, 05:49:06 PM »
I stoped taking my sustiva and truvada for 9 months during my meth addiction . I went back to the same combo with no problems achieving good numbers in time . Is this typical ... I don't know .


Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2010, 02:08:50 PM »
Maybe I need to move or repost my issue to mental health area as now due to the severe deppression I am feeling -what I have done to myself including wasting the little money I had saved ..I now can feel what I have read about how the hiv/hiv meds amplify the affects of tina..such as feeling insane,intense depression,etc....the problem is I cant talk to my Drs about this relapse as I have recentlly(under their suggestion)have applied for SS Disability due to my Bi-polar mania/depression cycling as well as my hiv/hepc neuropathy propblems...as you can be rejected for SS disability if they find out you used drugs...I am at wits end....


I dont see an end to hell I put myself in...
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,707
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2010, 02:31:12 PM »
Maybe I need to move or repost my issue to mental health area as now due to the severe deppression I am feeling -what I have done to myself including wasting the little money I had saved ..I now can feel what I have read about how the hiv/hiv meds amplify the affects of tina..such as feeling insane,intense depression,etc....the problem is I cant talk to my Drs about this relapse as I have recentlly(under their suggestion)have applied for SS Disability due to my Bi-polar mania/depression cycling as well as my hiv/hepc neuropathy propblems...as you can be rejected for SS disability if they find out you used drugs...I am at wits end....


I dont see an end to hell I put myself in...

As far as the relapse goes try cutting yourself a little slack.  Take a break for a second and realize your addiction is just as much a sickness as your HIV and Bi-polar disorder.  The money is gone, there is nothing you can do to change that right now.  There is no need to beat yourself up over that.  Having gone through relapse when I was trying to get clean off crack, I can relate to the feelings of despair  and the sense of failure as well, but you have to let that go and look at the bigger picture.   The clean time and the sense of accomplishment that comes with it will return again in time, just realize that small part of it.

Please try and relax, I know how this feels and it sucks bro.  Just hang in there and get this stuff sorted out day by day.  In the mean time keep sharing...


Thomas
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 13,204
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2010, 02:53:10 PM »
I agree with Thomas . I look back at meth addiction and remember feeling ashamed and like I had let myself and others down . Meth made me very unstable mentally to the point I really wondered if I would ever be the same again . After many months of sobriety I slowly began the process of healing ... and it was a process so be patient with yourself and you can get there .

If you want help or support for your addiction outside of your regular clinic or doctor put that internet service you have to use and see what is available in your area , I bet there is help for you that wont complicate your application for ssi if you go looking . It may even make you feel better knowing you are doing something proactive and good for yourself .   

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2010, 03:16:29 PM »
Thanks for the response guys I really do appreciate it....as this is my  only connection with the outside world....my dad has said I can stay at his office(will not let me come home to his house yet, where I was liviving at before my relapse which started a week ago-he is not sure I am sober yet and does not want me to be around my mom -who has been letting me live with her/him out of the kindness of their hearts)so I guess I cant complain it is better then being homeless.....I am in pure misery with mouth torn up from tina(you know the sores, infection in my fingernail,tongue split from the tina dehydration..getting up the courage to rinse everything with hydrogen peroxide...am gonna try and see my hiv doc at health dept(bout a mile away)tomorrow...just gonna tell her I had a mianic episode and lost track of the days which is true to a point...I dont know what the shit was I slammed It was not very pure tina if there is such a thing....
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2010, 04:30:27 PM »
Thanks for the response guys I really do appreciate it....as this is my  only connection with the outside world....my dad has said I can stay at his office(will not let me come home to his house yet, where I was liviving at before my relapse which started a week ago-he is not sure I am sober yet and does not want me to be around my mom -who has been letting me live with her/him out of the kindness of their hearts)so I guess I cant complain it is better then being homeless.....I am in pure misery with mouth torn up from tina(you know the sores, infection in my fingernail,tongue split from the tina dehydration..getting up the courage to rinse everything with hydrogen peroxide...am gonna try and see my hiv doc at health dept(bout a mile away)tomorrow...just gonna tell her I had a mianic episode and lost track of the days which is true to a point...I dont know what the shit was I slammed It was not very pure tina if there is such a thing....

Mako,

I can understand you not wanting to tell your HIV doctor about your tina relapse. I was an amphetamine injector once so I appreciate the misery you're going through.

It is better, in the long run, if you can be honest with your doctor(s) about what's really going on however.

Things seem insurmountable at the moment, but believe me they're not. There is almost always a way out of the shit.

From what I can see you have three big issues:

1. Drug use problems;
2. Bi-polar disorder.
3. HIV infection.

These things are all interconnected at some level, but I think you need to deal with them in the order I've listed. When you've got one under control you can proceed to tackle the next one.

If you would like to talk about your manic depression we have a mental health forum where you can post about those things: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?board=22.0.

MtD

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2010, 05:10:59 PM »
Thanks Matty, I just re posted on the mental health forum...I am trying to keep my mind together..I am a 52 year old college graduate BA Sociology-I should be smarter about this subject, but I have taken a lot of classes in the sciences and psychology, but I feel my mind is slipping
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2010, 05:21:24 PM »
Thanks Matty, I just re posted on the mental health forum...I am trying to keep my mind together..I am a 52 year old college graduate BA Sociology-I should be smarter about this subject, but I have taken a lot of classes in the sciences and psychology, but I feel my mind is slipping

Hey Mako,

I did sociology too! :)

Seriously, hang in there babe. We're here for you.

MtD

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #17 on: July 01, 2010, 07:33:52 PM »
Well here I am again...went to see my Hiv  doc only got as far as the nurse practitioner..so at least got some azithromycin for the finger/skin infection I got.also she gave me some triacinolon acetonide(she said probably should not eat tomatoes because of acid....-(I know it was the acid from the tina) anyway thank god it relieves the acid etched and split tina tongue...any way my question is I have taken all the meds at once because I just want to sleep( not easy in a futon sofabed in my dads office,he wants to make sure I am completely dry before I am allowed back at mother's house in the suburbs...so I have taken with a meal mind you...lol -------------------------------------azithromycin 250mg
ramipril 10 mg for my bp -nurse said it was high
topamax 100mg
norvir 100mg
reyataz 300 mg
truvada 250 mg
ambien cr 12.5 mg
ibuprofen 200 mg -my head is splitting
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #18 on: July 01, 2010, 07:46:53 PM »
Oh the question is do yous is do you think this is too many different types of meds to take at once-with the objective to take my haart meds and get  to get to sleep asap as am in misery...
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Online Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 13,204
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #19 on: July 01, 2010, 08:20:35 PM »
I wish I could be more helpful but I think the best advice is to call your pharmacist and ask this question .

I am so happy to hear you are back on your meds . Please remember to eat as good of a  balanced diet as your current living conditions allow . Remember you are not alone and you can beat this addiction .

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,277
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #20 on: July 01, 2010, 10:27:29 PM »
ramipril 10 mg for my bp -nurse said it was high
topamax 100mg
norvir 100mg
reyataz 300 mg
truvada 250 mg
ambien cr 12.5 mg
ibuprofen 200 mg -my head is splitting

You know something that really concerns me here is that you mentioned your were diagnosed Bi-Polar, and I see nothing in this list that would treat Bi-Polar. In my opinion the Bipo needs to have top priority along with the HIV, If you cant get the Bipo under control you are going to be in a vicious circle and relapse to Tina may be inevitable. You should be on something like Lamictal combined with Seroquel for Bipo. The Seroquel will absolutely make you sleep, and you will get good sleep, it will also cut down on your manic phase. I think Lamictal is a base for anyone who is Bipo,,,,,but regardless you seriously need to query your doctor and ask why they are not treating your Bipo!! Or find another doctor. This just doesnt seem right. Ambien just isnt going to cut it in this situation im afraid, and may actually be dangerous for you given the suicidal issues associated with it's use. (albeit small)

Please call your doc on this.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #21 on: July 01, 2010, 11:59:53 PM »
With my docs help I tried quite a few including Lamicdal,gamebenton.neotin,trazadone,and others...all had adverse affects on motor stimulation/depression/hypermania....the topamax seems to calm my mind and body together...but I still need the ambien to sleep..
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,975
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2010, 12:10:53 AM »
Hi Makoman -
Sorry to hear about the relapse and the other things going on in your life.  Since you know about addiction - then I know you know about support meetings (NA/AA) - are you hitting any of those up?  As far as the various meds - I agree with previous post that best thing to do is check with a pharmacist.  How long have you been with your current doc?  Also, are you seeing a specialist for the bi-polar (remember, even though we sometimes like our ID doc to deal with most of our medical issues - sometimes it is better to see a doc that specializes in a particular area)

Also, if you are seeing a psychiatrist, there are a lot of them who mainly do med management -- you may want to look at some therapy.  A good therapist is worth their weight in gold.  Depending on how long you have been with current doc and the relationship you do/don't have with him/her you may want (if you have that option) to look at starting fresh....sometimes a new set of eyes can bring about a different view on things.

Keep sharing - try to get to a meeting or two or three...... no matter how rough it gets, it definitely won't get any better if you continue using and if you don't get the bi-polar under control... but you can do it and there are many people (physically around you and here on the forums) that will help you succeed.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline MAKOMAN

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #23 on: July 02, 2010, 03:56:11 PM »
I tried the NA thing ...have gone to hundreds and hundreds of meetings never made any great personal connections with anyone at any gay meetings much less ever found a sponsor of any length of time or depth..and I tried to work the program calling the sponsor everyday etc...I can stay clean on my own 6 months -1 year, but tina is kinda like the alien monster just waiting inside your soul, till you are well enough to zap you again...I know the success rate of completely kicking tina is 10%...So I guess my best survival tactic is to get my shit together get my own place build up my health,mental health,financial, get a combat strategy in place and stop pretending she is not going to show up in my life again, because when she catches me off guard is when I get really stupid,sloppy, and wasteful!.....What do you think? Is this a pragmatic approach? Or another example of me losing my mind??
4/15/10  CD4-461  VL<75
2/18/10  CD4-485  VL <75
12/02/09 CD4-650  VL  70
08/24/09 CD4-631  VL <48
06/24/09  CD4-317  VL 104
3/2009 BEGAN REYATAZ/TRUVADA/NORVIR
02/06/09 CD4-355  VL 168,930
12/2008 TEST POS

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2010, 04:07:15 PM »
Sounds like a good plan, Mako.

MtD

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,975
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #25 on: July 02, 2010, 04:07:53 PM »
Hey Makoman:

I don't think you are losing your mind..... you actually seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.  Any addiction is a bitch....  I would say focus on finding a good therapist - and it can take time to find one and to develop a good relationship once you do.  In regards to meetings, I would say hit as many up as you are able to - not just gay/lesbian ones --- once again, it takes time to get connected and even when connected it can still be rough because of that gorilla that lies inside wanting to take charge.

If you do the therapist thing, the meds thing (based on what you and your doc come up with), the meetings thing, the AM Forums, compliance with your HIV regimen, and regular life things you will be able to start putting together those days ---- remember you only have to stay clean and do the next best thing today --- and like I'm sure you know, if that seems to much then focus on doing the next best thing hour by hour or minute by minute.

The one thing that isn't going to make things better is using and beatin yourself up over using.  Remember, when you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you are pissing all over the present (today) --- its called the "present" for a reason - because it is a present.  Enjoy it.  Smile. Be good to yourself and stay connected.

Phil
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Online Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 13,204
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I just relapsed on Tina, and everything is falling apart...
« Reply #26 on: July 02, 2010, 05:25:05 PM »
I have always been told you cant run away from your problems but I have learned the hard way to run away from my drugs .

I will no longer associate or allow myself to be around people who use meth and that goes a long way in helping to keep me drug free . 

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.