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Author Topic: myhivvoice.blogspot.com  (Read 2513 times)

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Offline giselevp

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  • Posts: 3
    • My HIV Voice
myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« on: June 02, 2010, 01:04:59 AM »
a 25 year HIV survivor, I have placed some of my current and final thoughts on my blog

myhivvoice.blogspot.com

currently in palliative care, I have decided to fast to hasten the process, I can only hope that any words I have spoken may seem similar or helpful to others in my situation , if you have any questions or comments please ask, there is still some time, perhaps I may be of aid to someone in need

Peace

Gisele

Online Jeff G

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2010, 01:33:13 AM »
I tried to go to your blogspot but couldn't find it . I would like to hear what you have to say .

Perhaps you could elaborate here ?

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2010, 01:36:26 AM »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online Jeff G

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2010, 01:49:29 AM »
I have read your blog and you seem so very depressed . I'm sorry you are having such a tough time and hope you come back here and talk about it with some of us . Jeff

Offline leatherman

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2010, 10:57:13 AM »
Hello Gisele.

Like Jeff, I too hope that you return to tell us a little more about yourself and your issues. Coming into a support forum like this and dropping the bombshell that you'll be speeding up your dash to death will not so much get any of us to ask for your wisdom before your passing; but rather it'll stir up our sympathies and activism and prod us into asking how we can support you.

I read through your blog and am somewhat understanding of your issues, though not enough. Unlike you, I have no children, just my dogs. Yet like you, I have been living with HIV for a long time, nearly 20 yrs now, and I lost my (first) long-term partner of 10 yrs to AIDS when he was only 29 and I was barely 31. Losing a mate so early in the journey together leaves a deep unquenchable sadness that colors the rest of life no matter what else happens. Even finding love again with another partner can not replace the love lost. Sadly, there are several here who can also understand the grief you carry from losing a mate.

However, from what little else you spoke of your life, it seems your body has had a much harder time dealing with the HIV disease and it's effects. You speak of palliative care, which troubles many of us. In the confines of these forums, there are plenty of people who have dealt with HIV/AIDS for 15, 20, 25 years. We've expected a great many varieties of illnesses, and experienced the good and bad effects of a great many medications.

Your story tells no details of those experiences, which is where a forum like this could perhaps be of help to you. You see, in this "support forum", I have found the attitude of the people in general to be a positive one, an attitude towards beating this disease and fighting it's effects - even when the battle has to be waged constantly.

When people join talking of sorrow, we talk about the joys of still being alive. When they speak of side effects, we tell of alternative meds or ways to compensate. When they come speaking of troubles and falling down, we speak of picking oneself up and moving forward again. When they appear in our midsts speaking of death, we speak of life.

Of course though, the march of time and the approach of death is inevitable to all of us at some time, and you may truly be living in the latter part of your life. But to come into a support forum speaking of hastening your demise, with no real background as to how you got to that point, is to invite us to ask for more details, to help us to understand, so that perhaps we can be the ones offering assistance, knowledge and support to you.

Rather than leaving your troubling introductory message to us telling how quickly you hope to leave this world, I hope you will return and explain a bit more of your situation to us so that, hopefully, we can offer support and comfort to you. Until  then I will be thinking of you and hoping that you are as comfortable as can be with whatever issues are assailing you.

hugs,
mikie
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Moffie65

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  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2010, 07:08:27 PM »
Gisele,

I have no account over there, so I will post my thoughts here.

I respect your pronouncement
I honor your choices
I understand your pain
I respect your clarity
I honor your understanding
Finally, I honor your life.

Tim.
27 years HIV+
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline leatherman

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2010, 07:40:06 PM »
I have no account over there, so I will post my thoughts here.
no account is needed. just click the link Miss P provided earlier ;)
http://myhivvoice.blogspot.com/
Gisele wrote some beautiful thoughts down over there, well worth the read.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2010, 07:44:12 PM »
Gisele wrote some beautiful thoughts down over there, well worth the read.

I read them last night.  I didn't have much to add as I figure someone her age, with that many years under her HIV belt, can best decide where she wants to go with her illness.  It's her decision and I'll support it if it's made with a clear head.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline leatherman

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  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2010, 08:02:57 PM »
I read them last night.  I didn't have much to add as I figure someone her age, with that many years under her HIV belt, can best decide where she wants to go with her illness.  It's her decision and I'll support it if it's made with a clear head.
since she doesn't much talk about her illness (here or in her new blog of just the last few months), I thought it only polite to inquire as to some of her issues since there are so many people here who have gone through so much and might have some suggestions.

Obviously, others here just aren't as concerned when someone comes here and in their 2nd post tells us how they're hastening their death because they're tired of living with HIV. I have to wonder if Gisele wasn't looking for some sort of help herself by coming to these support forums and introducing herself by announcing her wish to die soon.

I'm sorry if I offended you Gisele, by trying to find out more about your situation, before just giving you permission to die. I would also graciously suggest, having been the caregiver for two partners as they passed out of this life, that rather than spend your precious time here trying to help people in their struggle to live with HIV that you spend your time with your loved ones and your children, who know you and understand your issues. Much more than you could probably aid any of us strangers here, I'm certain your loved ones need your love and company, as they will soon be dealing without you in their lives.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Online Jeff G

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2010, 09:08:29 PM »
There are many people in this world with great friends and family to support them in a time of need but still feel the need to reach out beyond that network for support . I would like to think this forum is a place where you can do that .

I Know very little about giselvp but would love the opportunity to learn more about her and hope she comes back here .

Offline Dachshund

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Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2010, 07:07:48 AM »
I hope you can understand it's hard for people to comment on threads like this. Some folks responses will be sincere. Others will use it as an opportunity to advance their own changing narrative of their HIV history. It's very sad. I wish you well.

Offline giselevp

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
    • My HIV Voice
Re: myhivvoice.blogspot.com
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2010, 08:15:53 AM »
HELLO TO A LOT OF BAFFLED PEOPLE;

     Please allow me to clear up some missing spots and misunderstandings.  My hivvoice blog spot is exactly as I set it up to be.  My forum blurb is my confusion in trying to jump into a foreign space that I could not manage.  I am female and in the forum I felt like I was walking into a garage where conversation had inuendo that I didn't understand.  So I just jumped in and summarized my situation and jumped back out.  I am sorry for the confusion that may have caused.
     My blog is my own reflection of LIVING with HIV not dying of HIV.  I really do think that a woman's experience and perspective with HIV is different than the male perspective.  Motherhood (in my case and with most mothers) is at the forefront of our exisyence.  The children's needs are paramount.  Being a single mother doubles the role of parenting; having a professional role to maintain triples the load.
     I appreciate the support that a forum provides and its possibilities of support are not lost on me.  However, my desire to express my views required a small, still corner, without the disruption and distraction of family, friends and colleagues.
     My blog is about MY experience - the experience that was usually hidden, obscured or just plain secret for more years than I care to count.
     For now, I need to say how grateful I am for all the responses I've received; and how excited I am to hear more.
     I must clarify again though; that my dying has little to do with HIV; my dying is of a different calling HIV is part of my living - dying is actually a whole new blog.  I would be delighted to discuss any of your questions, comments and concerns.  For those who have asked, my site is:  http://HTTP://MYHIVVOICE.BLOGSPOT.COM

                                  There was something formless and perfect
                                   before the universe was born.
                                   It is serene. Empty.
                                   Solitary.  Unchanging.
                                   Infinite.  Eternally present.
                                   It is the mother of the universe.
                                   For lack of a better name,
                                   I call it the Tao, I call it God,
                                   I call it Buddha, I call it my love,
                                   My Beloved.
                                                         from the book of psalms

               PEACE,           Gisele VP.

 


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