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Author Topic: Rising panic  (Read 2493 times)

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Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Rising panic
« on: June 23, 2010, 11:07:10 AM »
Hello and thank you for authorizing my account.

Like many, I am here for some straightforward answers, based only on scientific fact. This really is an act of desperation as I have (again, like many) discovered so many different facts and figures - often diametrically opposed- and all purporting to be from reputable science-based sources, that I just don't know what the hell the truth is.

Facts of the case are as follows:

I had unprotected oral sex with a woman last night and I ejaculated into her mouth. The blowjob itself was rough and lasted about 10 minutes.

I woke up this morning and have been a dripping, paranoid wreck ever since. What is more, I have noticed a slight red blemish (bit like a bruise) on the edge of the head of my penis. It looks like it may have come from a tooth or something. I also have two small red marks on the shaft.

I live in central Africa so prevalence is obviously sky-high. This fact is contributing to my paranoia although I am conscious that it is behaviour rather than geographical location that is at issue here.

I am honestly a gibbering wreck. I have been literally obsessed with it all day and on the edge of wigging out completely. I have attempted to rationalize the episode; to extract the guilt and self-disgust from the cold, clinical truth but I keep arriving at the same conclusion: I have exposed myself terribly.

A colleague here has a complete set of PEP drugs and I was debating whether or not to begin a treatment straight away.

I would be very grateful indeed for your comments on the above - particularly if you are able, once and for all, to provide a definitive answer to the "is oral sex a risk" question.

Many thanks in advance and bless you for running this service.



Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2010, 11:14:41 AM »
DJ,

You do NOT need PEP!

Getting a blowjob is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection, regardless of how rough it was. Not one person has ever been infected through getting blown and you won't be the first.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2010, 11:41:03 AM »
Thank you, Ann.

That is an absolute, irrefutable fact, is it? I bloody well hope so, my friend, as I am imagining all sorts of worse-case scenarios and, as said, am terrified.

If you are right, then the scare-mongering that is being conducted by countless organisations - both public and private - on the issue of oral sex is nothing short of scandelous.

I should no doubt go for check up on other fronts (STDs), shouldn't I?

Please don't take this wrong but may I ask how you are funded? If it is a charity or some other form of non-profit set-up that relies on contributions then I should like to make one. The angst and sheer blinding panic that I have been going through lately is simply awful. You have helped enormously and it's important that services like this continue to exist.




Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2010, 12:21:18 PM »
Finally, please could you advise earliest possible date for an HIV test?
In other words, what is the minimum time one has to wait?

Got to get one....

Thank you.

PS: Not even England versus Slovenia managed to cheer me up, so you'll see just how worried I am!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2010, 12:26:04 PM »
DJ,

Where there has been an actual risk - unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse - there is a three month hiv testing window period. You have not had a risk.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

Unless you've been engaging in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse that you haven't told us about, you have not been at risk and you don't need to test.

Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection!!!

Here's how to keep yourself hiv negative:


You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

PS - we do not accept donations. However, your local Aids Service Organisation (ASO) would gladly accept your donation. You can find your nearest ASO by going to the ASO database at Aidsmap.com.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2010, 04:24:01 AM »
Very sorry to do this but irrational fear is exactly that.

I am having trouble accepting that there is just no risk at all. You must get this a lot, but I just keep wondering why you are the only source I can find that has that view. Everywhere else seemingly the position is that it is indeed a risk.

How can you be so certain?

Not sure I can handle this situation. Can't sleep, eat, concentrate. It's a nightmare.

 

Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2010, 05:45:50 AM »
It gets worse.
Now freaking out about hepatitis. Is there a risk of transmission of this too (as a recipient of unprotected oral sex with in-mouth ejaculation)?

I am losing the plot totally.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,273
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2010, 05:49:53 AM »
This forum is HIV specific and you never had a risk of contracting HIV.

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2010, 07:46:15 AM »
DJ,

Yes, you are losing the plot.

You're not going to get hiv or hepatitis from getting your dick sucked.

However, you just might get chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes or syphilis. So if you're going to freak out, freak out about something you might actually become infected with while having your dick sucked, ok?

You did not have a risk for hiv infection. How can we be so certain? Because we know the science of transmission on a cellular level. Because we have read the studies and know that nobody has ever been infected this way.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2010, 06:24:58 AM »
OK. Thank you.
Clearly I have a form of paranoia, help for which I am going to have to seek elsewhere.

I will do my best to convince myself that the HIV risk doesn't exist and set about finding an appropriate place for a full range of tests for the diseases you list (+ any other that may be possible).

Thank you for helping me and for being so forthright, clear and unequivocal.

I will endeavour to put all the advice you provide to good use.

Wishing all of you all the very best.

Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2010, 04:01:06 AM »
Am just overcome by panic at this whole situation.

I am trying to understand the difference between documented and theoretical risk and with it to reconcile your position that I have not been exposed to potential infection.

If transmission is theoretically possible then I am at risk, surely?

Telling me that I have not had a risk means that receiving unprotected oral sex is risk free; i.e. theoretically and practically impossible.  Is this the case? 

It can't be both, that would simply not be logical.

I appreciate all of your comments about the range of other infections I am open to, but I just can't shake the idea that HIV is in my body.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,273
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2010, 04:31:47 AM »
   Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,378
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2010, 08:28:48 AM »
How many ways can we tell you that receiving oral, no matter how "roughly," is absolutely not a risk for HIV transmission. Fortunately fears are not facts and the fact is that in the entire epidemic no guy has ever been confirmed to have been infected through this very common sexual activity.

There really isn't anything more to say about your experience. It was non-risk. Period. I am also going to say that if you continue to come back here fretting about the same thing, you are going to get yourself a 28 day Time Out from the site. HIV is not your problem. If you need help with whatever has been stireed up emotionally about it, get some professional help. We can't address that with you in this setting.

Take a breath and get on with your life. If you have any troubling symptoms, discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline DJRRR

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #13 on: July 01, 2010, 12:44:23 PM »
Andy, Ann, thank you for trying to help me.

I just thought it worth sharing with you that I have just got off the phone with a doctor from Médecins Sans Frontière (medical humanitarian organization) in this country.

She informed me that the risk was real, albeit low. She also wanted to put me on the post-exposure prophylaxis course (only 2 of the 3 molecules involved, she said, so as to avoid side effects). However, given that it has been over a week since the episode, this option is now closed.

I feel terribly let down as you guys specifically told me not to even consider this.

You will understand that it is  hard for the layman - who has not an in-depth understanding - to know just what to believe. It goes wihtout saying that I want with all my heart to believe your version, but I simply cannot reject out of ahnd what MSF are saying - especially as they are in the forefront of fighting this disease in Africa.

It is all academic now as the window has passed. My anxiety is now through the roof. Again.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Rising panic
« Reply #14 on: July 01, 2010, 01:03:30 PM »
DJ,

The doctor is wrong, plain and simple. Getting a blowjob is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection and you did NOT need PEP.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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