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Author Topic: How do you feel about the person who infected you?Do you forgive them?  (Read 3456 times)

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Offline Raf

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  • Posts: 259
  • Bald by choice
How do you feel about the person who infected you?Do you forgive them?Please be honest.

It's a question that I've been asking myself during these years since my Dx.

I did not forgive that person, and that person is me. with all the education and information I had, I failed only three times to use condom (and 2 were with the same person) and that was enough to "win the great prize". But I shoud have known better, If I hadn't been so stupid and walked away the moment my partner weren't using a condom I wouldn't be here.

As for the person who infected me? I have my suspicion over 2 people who I had sex without protection, but I don't feel anything about them, just don't want to see them again on my life. If I see them on the street I'll walk besides them as if I didn't know them.
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - today)

Offline Tonny2

  • Member
  • Posts: 415
 8)hI raf....wouldn't you let them know, in anyway?....thx
It's a question that I've been asking myself during these years since my Dx.

I did not forgive that person, and that person is me. with all the education and information I had, I failed only three times to use condom (and 2 were with the same person) and that was enough to "win the great prize". But I shoud have known better, If I hadn't been so stupid and walked away the moment my partner weren't using a condom I wouldn't be here.

As for the person who infected me? I have my suspicion over 2 people who I had sex without protection, but I don't feel anything about them, just don't want to see them again on my life. If I see them on the street I'll walk besides them as if I didn't know them.

Offline Raf

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  • Posts: 259
  • Bald by choice
8)hI raf....wouldn't you let them know, in anyway?....thx

nah, it's just a waste of energy, and will not undo what is done. Nobody put me a gun to have unprotected sex, it was just me and my stupidity.
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - today)

Offline mecch

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  • Posts: 12,082
  • red pill? or blue pill?
What about the person who infected me with influenza right before my GMAT.  Unnnnnforgiveable!!!!   :'( :o >:(
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Red23

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  • Posts: 8
for me its bit of a yes and no answer

no i dont forgive the person that infected me because i put my trusted and loved her and had all of that betrayed and to me feels like a massive stab in the back

and yes i do kind of forgive her because at the same time it was my own fault for not taking the proper precautions knowing full well of the risks of not using protection

Offline deprivedlol

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  • Posts: 41
You know I walk around an angry bitter person in general...frustrated that this limits my dating opportunities...has cost me a couple of jobs...and just makes me feel shitty in general about myself...but for some odd reason I do forgive him.  I can't really explain it.  I don't think I need to though.  I never knew he was sick until after he died, but I kind of always knew something wasn't right.  He always had a sadness about him, a 'look' in his eyes.  I was too much of an alcoholic to try and make sense of it at the time.  But now all these years later I feel the sadness he must've been feeling.  That feeling of despair and loneliness.  I know why he didn't want to tell me.  All he wanted was for someone to care.  I wish I could find that someone...that person that I was for him.

Offline RobbyR

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  • Posts: 341
Not sure how I feel about the person who infected me with HIV because I can't remember who did it. Imagine how frustrating that can be. It's been 5 years since my diagnosis and around 10 since I've had HIV. I'm glad they caught it in time to get me healthy and on meds. Like someone else said nobody held a gun to my head making me sleep without a condom so basically it's pointless to rehash things..However I had and am still having sme major emotional problems and for reasons I won't go into I can't remember most of the people I slept with in my 20s due to memory blocks and just having major gaps in memory. So even if I knew who infected me I don't know how I'd feel. Obviously I wish I wasn't poz but what's done is done and just trying to live day by day but it's difficult due to my issues.
Started Atripla August, 2010.

Offline Tonny2

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  • Posts: 415
 8)my questions is, how do you feel about the persons you might have infected while you were positive, without knowing you were poz?...have anybody here thought about it?....ojo

Offline Miss Philicia

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8)my questions is, how do you feel about the persons you might have infected while you were positive, without knowing you were poz?...have anybody here thought about it?....ojo

Why would I feel guilty about something I didn't know about?

I suppose if I'd taken 100 raw loads up my ass for a decade and didn't get tested I'd feel guilty, but I didn't so I don't.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online leatherman

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how do you feel about the persons you might have infected while you were positive, without knowing you were poz?...have anybody here thought about it?
sure we've thought about it. 20%-25% of all positive people haven't even bothered to get tested. That's the whole principle behind getting MORE testing done - to slow/stop the infection rate.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Tonny2

  • Member
  • Posts: 415
Why would I feel guilty about something I didn't know about?

I suppose if I'd taken 100 raw loads up my ass for a decade and didn't get tested I'd feel guilty, but I didn't so I don't.
Hi Miss Philicia...I'm not talking about feeling guilty. I'm saying when you found out your are poz, woul you think on the people who slept with you right after your hiv dx?..how would you feel?, sad, worry, do I have to let them know to avoid more infections, I don't know, I guess there has to be a kind of feeling for the other who had unprotected sex with you and most likely is having unprotected sex with others
thanks for your reply Miss,...ojo

Offline Tonny2

  • Member
  • Posts: 415
sure we've thought about it. 20%-25% of all positive people haven't even bothered to get tested. That's the whole principle behind getting MORE testing done - to slow/stop the infection rate.
tha's is my point leatherman, if we know thst we just tested positive for hiv, wouldn't we have some responsablity to let others (secual partners) let them know about your results, so we help to stop this pandemic?...either by telling ourselves or by the healthdepartment that they have been at risk...Just a thought
thanks leatherman and Miss your two are some of my favorite people in here, for your knowledged in all kind of topics    ojo

bear with my bad English, I've been trying to learn it, but English sucks lol

 


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