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Author Topic: Help me! Unprotected Sex  (Read 4447 times)

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Offline thesun123

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Help me! Unprotected Sex
« on: May 25, 2010, 02:17:31 PM »
Dear Andy Velez,RapidRod, and all,

I'm a male, 28 years old. I have two risks:

First, I had unprotected oral sex with a unknown HIV+ person in 5 times just three weeks. I felt that I got microscopic bruises/cuts when I had oral sex with her.

Second, I had unprotected sex with my girl friend I don't know her HIV status. We had unprotected sex about 4 or 5 times (two months ago). Now, We don't meet each other.

I'm so worry! I have never felt muscle pain, and lots of symptoms.

Could you tell me how many percent I have H+ ?

Thanks you very much!

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2010, 02:22:39 PM »
Dear Ann, I see you onl. Could you help me? I'm so worry.

Offline Ann

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2010, 02:36:45 PM »
Sun,

Getting a blowjob is absolutely not a risk for hiv infection, no matter what sort of extra details you can think of to add.

The only risk you have had is the unprotected intercourse. You need to test at three months past your last incident of unprotected intercourse. At test at that time will be conclusive.

As hiv is more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man, the chances are greatly in your favour that you'll test negative. BUT, you do need to test to know for sure.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2010, 07:28:06 PM »
Thank you very much!

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2010, 08:03:22 PM »
I am going to get tested. I will have the conclusion next week!

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2010, 08:38:42 PM »
Could you tell me How about the rate the risk of infection in unprotected sex with a HIV+ person?

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2010, 08:41:07 PM »
Good luck. Odds are in your favor that you will test negative. But in the future you and your gf ought to be using condoms for intercourse.

The only time you can safely dispense with using condoms is when you are in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have reliably tested negative together. Otherwise condoms are a must for intercourse every time.

Good luck with your test.
Andy Velez

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2010, 08:42:09 PM »
No. We don't play the numbers game. Risk is risk. Get tested. I've already told you odds are in your favor you will test negative. But stop being risky. Use condoms.
Andy Velez

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2010, 08:52:00 PM »
No. We don't play the numbers game. Risk is risk. Get tested. I've already told you odds are in your favor you will test negative. But stop being risky. Use condoms.

Thank Andy very much! Your reply help me feel better.


Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2010, 09:06:15 PM »
Good luck. Odds are in your favor that you will test negative.


Sorry Andy, could you explain more detail for me why you said "Odds are in your favor that you will test negative." when I had unprotected with a female (by vagina). I think the rate of transmition very high.

Thank you.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2010, 09:33:45 PM »
HIV is far easier to transmit from male to female than the other way around. Female anatomy is far better suited ro receive external pathogens (like sperm, or else baby-making would be more difficult than it already is). Males have comparably few areas in and around the urethra which contain cells that are infected by HIV particles. The risk is further diminished when the male is circumcised.

Asking for numbers? The factors that go into HIV transmission are numerous, which makes calculating the risk for any single act of sexual intercourse extremely difficult to pin down.

First, you can presume the woman is HIV positive, but you don't, in fact, know this to be the case.

Second, you can presume that, if the girl IS HIV positive, that her viral load is not significantly suppressed by HAART (HIV meds) or that she not simply a Long Term Non Progressor, of which one of the symptoms is an extremely low/undetectable viral load.

Many other elements can impact viral load in any given situation. Other infections, stress, allergies, certain drugs, and other factors have been shown to impact viral load, which in turn impacts the ability to infect.

The rate of transmission is "extremely high" for many reasons, depending on who you are and the customs where you live. If you are a circumcised male living in North America and Europe, the rate is actually fairly low. If you are an uncircumcised male living in Sub-Sahara Africa, for example, the rate is far higher.

Females have a higher rater of transmission than males for anatomical reasons COMBINED with the geographic and custom-related ones.

Other STDs, such as syphilis and gonorrhea, are FAR more easy to transmit. HIV, being (for now) a more serious and challenging illness, simply gets more attention than the others. It is a fragile virus and difficult to transmit.

You had a risk, granted. But not anywhere as high as  you seem to th


*edited for spelling
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #11 on: May 26, 2010, 04:37:11 AM »
Thank jkinatl2 very much! I come from ASIA, my English is not good.

Time goes so slowly.

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2010, 05:12:29 AM »
Dear All,

I want to ask for more detail. While I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend, I had a suck at her vagina. Is this a risk of HIV infection or not? I mean my tongue touched deeply her vagina.

Looking forward to your responses.

Thesun

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2010, 05:36:41 AM »
Has anyone here not?

Pls tell me something. Thank you.

Offline Ann

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2010, 07:09:10 AM »
Sun,

Giving a woman oral sex is not a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2010, 09:18:02 AM »
Sun,

Giving a woman oral sex is not a risk for hiv infection.

Ann

Thank Ann very much! You are so kind.
Now I'm waiting for my destiny. Please God bless me!

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2010, 12:47:00 AM »
Dear All,

I'm sorry because I can not stop me to ask this question. Is it true that Oral sex is no risk even when I swallowed the fluid of her vagina? I think vaginal fluids contain a lots of HIV.

Sun

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2010, 02:14:39 AM »
Please re-read the Lessons on transmission and the answers you have encountered here. They will not change. No matter what you think, the science is the science. Cunnilingus is not an HIV risk.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline thesun123

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Touched penis when removing condom
« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2010, 05:10:41 AM »
Dear Ann, Andy Velez and all guys!

I would like to express my gratitude at your help with my accident. You don't know how much I appreciate your website. Your website has trained me a lot of knowledge about HIV.


On 13Th August, 2010, I had vagina sex with a female (sex worker). I used condom and I am sure it was not broken or leaked. But after removing condom, which may have some vaginal fluid, immediately I touched my penis head and tip and kept hand there for about 1 min. Then I showered with soap.
Now I am under so much stress, that I am under risk. I will be married in two month, and I don't know how to tell my girl friend about my problem.

As Ann said: HIV is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface.” and I know HIV can live outer environment during hours so that it can transmitte to my penis throw small cuts and a hole. Am I true?


Please guide me I know, this is general question , but I need answer for my specific case. Pl don't ban me. Please let me see your website, day by day visit here to reduce stress.

Thank a lot!

Sun


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Touched penis when removing condom
« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2010, 05:14:03 AM »
Please keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and allows us to give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD


Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2010, 06:18:44 AM »
Dear Ann, Andy Velez and all guys!

I would like to express my gratitude at your help with my accident. You don't know how much I appreciate your website. Your website has trained me a lot of knowledge about HIV.


On 13Th August, 2010, I had vagina sex with a female (sex worker). I used condom and I am sure it was not broken or leaked. But after removing condom, which may have some vaginal fluid, immediately I touched my penis head and tip and kept hand there for about 1 min. Then I showered with soap.
Now I am under so much stress, that I am under risk. I will be married in two month, and I don't know how to tell my girl friend about my problem.

As Ann said: HIV is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface.” and I know HIV can live outer environment during hours so that it can transmitte to my penis throw small cuts and a hole. Am I true?


Please guide me I know, this is general question , but I need answer for my specific case. Pl don't ban me. Please let me see your website, day by day visit here to reduce stress.

Thank a lot!

Sun

@ Matty the Damned: Thank you very much. This is my new trouble. I dont know where to post.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #21 on: August 27, 2010, 06:27:37 AM »
Sun,

You must always post in this thread - nowhere else.

There is nothing in your new post which is a risk for HIV infection. You had protected sex.

Touching your penis after sex even with the body fluids on your partner on your hands is not a risk for HIV transmission.

You are worrying needlessly and you do not need to be tested.

MtD

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2010, 07:09:13 AM »
Thanks MtD for your quickly reply.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2010, 07:12:14 AM »
Thanks MtD for your quickly reply.

No problem kid.

One other thing, posting endlessly about no risk situations is against our posting guidelines which you'll find in the Welcome Thread for this Forum.

If you haven't read it already, I urge you do so. Breaching the posting guidelines could see you banned from these forums.

Consider yourself warned and have a nice day. :)

MtD

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #24 on: August 27, 2010, 08:38:34 AM »
I've merged your threads here. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

As for your latest incident, there was no risk whatsoever in your having touched your penis with some vaginal fluid post coitus. HIV is not transmitted during that manner. You did the right thing by wearing a condom for intercourse. Continue to do that everytime you have vaginal and anal intercourse and you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV.  There is no need for testing nor for further concern about this latest incident.
Andy Velez

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #25 on: August 27, 2010, 08:39:58 AM »
Thank for your remind me about the rule, I don't intend to break it but this is my new problem. I don't know where to ask.

Could you tell me some thing about time duration of HIV living? I Know that HIV can live outside within several hours. And when I was removing condom, my fingers touched outside of condom (which contents HIV) then I touched immediately my penis head and tip and kept hand there. Is it enough time for HIV be transmitted to my penis by tiny cuts and a hole?

Please don't ban me!

Thanks MtD again!

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #26 on: August 27, 2010, 08:54:39 AM »
HIV is a fragile virus. In order to remain viable for transmission sexually it needs the kind of receptive setting which occur in a vagina or an anus. So having vaginal fluids touch your penis simply does not create the necessary kind of setting needed.

Period. Cut out the drama and get on with your life. 
Andy Velez

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #27 on: August 27, 2010, 09:12:33 AM »
Thank you Andy, I wish you and all members from our forum have a great day!

I  see at IdiotMe’s topic, Ann said: HIV is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect.” I think specific cell types are located at my penis head and tip. This is the reason make me worried!

I don't know what is different between the terms active or live,  inactive or die. You mean when HIV come out the body, it become inactive immediately and can not be infected?


Offline Ann

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #28 on: August 27, 2010, 11:08:09 AM »
Sun,

Viruses are neither alive nor dead. They're very strange organisms.

The outer covering of hiv is very fragile. As soon as it is outside of its preferred environment - the human body - this covering bursts. When the covering bursts, it cannot infect. And yes, this happens quickly.

You did not have a risk when you touched your penis after taking off the condom. If this sort of thing were a risk, pretty much everyone in the world would be positive by now.

Sexually speaking, the ONLY true risk is unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Use condoms for either activity and you'll remain hiv negative. It really is that simple.

Keep posting about these NO RISK incidents you will be given a time out. If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline thesun123

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #29 on: August 30, 2010, 12:05:21 AM »
Sun,

Viruses are neither alive nor dead. They're very strange organisms.

The outer covering of HIV is very fragile. As soon as it is outside of its preferred environment - the human body - this covering bursts. When the covering bursts, it cannot infect. And yes, this happens quickly.



Thank you very much, Ann.  I think HIV has DNA structure, so it is very fragile too. But vaginal fluids from a person with HIV can contain large amount of HIV, which could remain active several hours. And touching the vaginal fluids may be  infected. I am confused. I will go get tested in 3 months later and I will not go out for sex with any sex worker. Now, Can I have unprotected with my girl friend?

Day by day, I read your website, it help me calmdow.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2010, 12:07:30 AM by thesun123 »

Offline Ann

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Re: Help me! Unprotected Sex
« Reply #30 on: August 30, 2010, 06:09:20 AM »
sun,

You can only have unprotected sex with your girlfriend if you are both securely monogamous and have tested negative for hiv and all the other STIs TOGETHER. It's not just sex workers who may have hiv or other STIs.

We're repeatedly told you that touching vaginal fluids is not a risk for hiv infection. Sexually speaking, the only true risk is unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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