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Author Topic: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby  (Read 5738 times)

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Offline pozcanuk

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not sure if this is where i should post, but thought it might be a good start.
i am a gay male missing a huge part in lin my life.
i want to have a child and have always known i am a father first in life even though i do not have a child.
i am very open to options / suggestions moving forward.
you should either want to share in the raising of the child or just happy to be my my angel in giving me what i have so longed for my entire life.
lots of options moving forward and i am very excited to chat with anyone who may be interested.
thanks in advance!

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2010, 06:04:58 PM »
I moved this thread out of "Positive Women" -- it's for women only. As for the rather... err... blunt question, I have no doubt you'll receive some enlightening responses here.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2010, 06:20:11 PM »
I moved this thread out of "Positive Women" -- it's for women only. As for the rather... err... blunt question, I have no doubt you'll receive some enlightening responses here.

Let the games begin...

In response If you could submit a picture I would attempt to conceive a child with you perhaps.

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2010, 06:50:56 PM »
Are you expecting a woman that doesn't know you to provide surrogate services for free?  Frankly I don't see that happening.  If it was someone you knew personally then perhaps, but not someone you meet on an internet message board.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2010, 06:52:30 PM »
not sure if this is where i should post, but thought it might be a good start.
i am a gay male missing a huge part in lin my life.
i want to have a child and have always known i am a father first in life even though i do not have a child.
i am very open to options / suggestions moving forward.
you should either want to share in the raising of the child or just happy to be my my angel in giving me what i have so longed for my entire life.
lots of options moving forward and i am very excited to chat with anyone who may be interested.
thanks in advance!

Adoption. Consider it.

MtD

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2010, 07:39:09 PM »
Whatever happened to your dear friend and her partner?
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Dachshund

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2010, 07:45:00 PM »
That's what I was wondering.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2010, 10:35:40 PM »



    Would you be willing to let her keep the baby and just pay child support?
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2010, 12:51:19 AM »
I must agree with Matty,

Adoption, adoption and adoption.

Offline pozcanuk

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2010, 03:35:24 PM »
thanks for the responses so far! 

hellraiser, i would gladly send a pic or chat online with can or meet in person (have passport will travel if need be!).

Miss Philicia, I recognise the request is big.  What I have not posted is what I am willing to offer in return if the woman were to be just the serrogate.  I am Canadian, and that in itself is a huge bargonning chip in my favour.  :)  My preference is to co parent ... so finding a woman who is in the same situation is why I am here.  I can also post else where if I were simply looking for a serrogate.  If I do find a woman here who would simply like to carry for me, I am more than willing to negotiate something that would obviously be mututally rewarding.

MtD and Sharkdiver, I am considering adoption.  End goal is one bio baby and one adopted.  Fortunately in Canada adoption is a viable option for a gay guy and I am very thankful for that!

Ann and Dachshund, sadly it fell through.  The couple, after going to all the appointments decided it was too much of a challenge.  I felt I lost a part of myself after their decision.  To come so close and to have so much excitement and anticipation and then to have it all fall apart was devistating.   I have since been seeing a therapist and it has been one of the best things I could have done for myself.  I went through a grieving period.  Sounds odd, but true.


skeebo1969.  My goal is to either co parent as in sharing the responsibilities equally with a partner in parenting or raise on my own.  I think a male and female influence is crutial for baby.  If I were to raise alone, I have a wonderful family and group of friends here in Toronto where baby would get that female influence from. I am not really interested in being just a doner.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2010, 04:15:31 PM »


   OMG it looks like our little Trey is going to be a mommy!!!  Oh man, I am so excited, the tears are just streaming down my cheek right now.  Trey and pozcanuk, I am so happy for the two of you.  We want to see ulta sound pics and everything.  Trey, please do not breast feed the baby, cuz you can pass  the Hivies to him/her. ;)
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2010, 10:49:07 PM »
thanks for the responses so far! 

hellraiser, i would gladly send a pic or chat online with can or meet in person (have passport will travel if need be!).


Hellraiser, Hurry put a wig on and some high heels and go meet him !!

-
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline tednlou2

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2010, 12:07:56 AM »
I've always wanted a biological child.  I had to do a paternity test when I was 18 and as Maurey would say, I was not the father.  My partner's sister offered us her unborn baby in 1997 when I was around 21.  We didn't feel ready and she had an abortion.  I think about that everyday.  That child would be 13 now.  While I'm pro-choice and everything, that weighs on me that the kids life was in our hands.   

Adoption is so expensive and such a hassle from what people have told me.  Now, I don't think I could handle a baby.  I would adopt a kid already potty trained..lol.  I wish you luck in finding someone.  I think you know to be smart about it and not get taken advantage of and suckered for money only to find out no child exists.  Let us know what happens.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2010, 12:16:58 AM »

   OMG it looks like our little Trey is going to be a mommy!!!  Oh man, I am so excited, the tears are just streaming down my cheek right now.  Trey and pozcanuk, I am so happy for the two of you.  We want to see ulta sound pics and everything.  Trey, please do not breast feed the baby, cuz you can pass  the Hivies to him/her. ;)

This will be an immaculate conception fo' sho.  Finally a real one on our boards.

Can Matty and I be the godparents?
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2010, 12:34:21 AM »
If you kid is "special" I'll certainly help out

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2010, 10:39:36 AM »

Ann and Dachshund, sadly it fell through.  The couple, after going to all the appointments decided it was too much of a challenge.  I felt I lost a part of myself after their decision.  To come so close and to have so much excitement and anticipation and then to have it all fall apart was devistating.   I have since been seeing a therapist and it has been one of the best things I could have done for myself.  I went through a grieving period.  Sounds odd, but true.


Hey Canuk, I'm very, very  sorry to hear that. I know how excited you were and I was excited for you too. I'm glad you've successfully gotten support for what you're going through.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2010, 10:45:10 AM »
I've never wanted a biological child.  However, it's not common knowledge but the world came very close to having a Lil' Miss P running around in 1988, the same year I probably caught teh AIDS.  I was quite popular during my senior year of college amongst both sexes, but fortunately there was a miscarriage.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2010, 11:30:54 AM »
I've never wanted a biological child.  However, it's not common knowledge but the world came very close to having a Lil' Miss P running around in 1988, the same year I probably caught teh AIDS.  I was quite popular during my senior year of college amongst both sexes, but fortunately there was a miscarriage.

I can just picture you behind your apartment tossin football with lil Davie...
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2010, 11:35:50 AM »
I can just picture you behind your apartment tossin football with lil Davie...

Dolce and Gabbana makes footballs?

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2010, 11:37:01 AM »
My kid would only shop here: http://crembebe.com/
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2010, 12:43:22 PM »
Some people just shouldn't have children. I am one of those people.

Offline pozcanuk

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2010, 12:48:17 PM »
It is all so confusing as to who is a real "miss" and who is a mr! lol

Ann, thanks!  I needed to take a break and regroup.  I really recommend to folks find a therapist.  One of the best things I have done and has helped for various things!

I love how people can come here and share things they might not in the "real" world.  I am out to family and friends but sometimes I just need the connection from people who get it.

tednlou2, sorry to hear you still dwell on that.  What if's and guilt are a challenge.  My therapist says one needs to grieve the loss and move on.  I will definitely be careful.  I have a lot to gain and a lot to lose.  I have a great lawyer and support system but also a time clock that is tickin away!!

Miss P, its always nice to be popular, esp with both sexes!  I find it more flattering when women hit on me.  Men, meh, they are just dogs mostly and if they cant eat it, they will either piss on it or fuck it! LOL


I guarantee that baby will be spoiled wrotten.  My family and friends are eagerly awaiting.  The sex is not important.  I do want a boy and a girl so which ever bio baby is, I would adopt the opposite.  There has been a lot of thought and planning in advance to this posting .. so with fingers (and toes!) crossed, I am hoping something comes of it.  I also have chatted with my doc to see if he has other female patients that are interested in parenting.

GSOgymrat, I have friends that say the same that they just intrinsically know that they are not meant to have kids, both gay and str8.  As much as they know they should not have kids, I know i must have kids.  Funny how the world works that way!

Offline mama

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #22 on: November 10, 2010, 10:12:49 AM »

Hi Pozcanuk,

i read your message and was wondering if you had any luck in getting a poz woman to co-parent a baby...if not, would you please contact me and lets discuss and see if we can do something about it..okay!!

regards,

mama

Offline WillyWump

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #23 on: November 10, 2010, 06:38:38 PM »
Hi Pozcanuk,

i read your message and was wondering if you had any luck in getting a poz woman to co-parent a baby...if not, would you please contact me and lets discuss and see if we can do something about it..okay!!

regards,

mama

Damn Trey, Your man-ship is sailing! There goes that white picket fence  :'(
\
-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #24 on: November 10, 2010, 06:41:15 PM »
Damn Trey, Your man-ship is sailing! There goes that white picket fence  :'(
\
-Will


I'm already pregnant with your baby Will.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #25 on: November 10, 2010, 07:02:36 PM »

I'm already pregnant with your baby Will.

*Sigh*.... Damn I see more child support in my future.
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Online Jeff G

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #26 on: November 10, 2010, 07:05:37 PM »
*Sigh*.... Damn I see more child support in my future.

Just give birth over the garbage disposal on the sink and ya wont have that problem to deal with .

Offline next2u

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #27 on: November 10, 2010, 10:19:12 PM »
damn baby's daddys.

wait a minute and WTF -- HR, you said it was mine! what happened to cornrows and hip-hop. you know a lil alicia keys singing roisin murphy covers would be too precious. im sure miss p simply agrees and will get us yearly gift certificates for crembebe....

i am heartbroken and want a paternity test...

lol, sorry for jacking your thread w/ jokes. best of luck in your quest for a mama!

best,
dd
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Snowangel

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #28 on: November 11, 2010, 02:20:21 PM »
Hi pozcanuk-
I'm just wondering from your post if you want to impregnate the mother or if you would be willing to adopt.  You might be able to find a women that is already pregnant but not able to care for the baby and willing to help you?

I had a very strange thing happen to me the other night.  I was over the lady that I help out house because she was having a bad night, along with another women that also helps her out.  I had met this other women once last Christmas but have never really talked to her.  In the middle of our conversation she went all psychic on me and told me I was pregnant with a blonde haired, blue eyed girl.  This isn't gonna happen for 2 reasons: my tubes are tied and I am with a black, black man ,BUT if it ever did I would be willing to help someone out that can't have kids.

I wish you the best of luck!

Snow

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #29 on: November 11, 2010, 03:26:51 PM »
damn baby's daddys.

wait a minute and WTF -- HR, you said it was mine! what happened to cornrows and hip-hop. you know a lil alicia keys singing roisin murphy covers would be too precious. im sure miss p simply agrees and will get us yearly gift certificates for crembebe....

i am heartbroken and want a paternity test...

lol, sorry for jacking your thread w/ jokes. best of luck in your quest for a mama!

best,
dd

Our little mocha colored baby.  We could name her Tre.

Offline wtfimpoz

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #30 on: November 11, 2010, 05:27:22 PM »
Why settle for any woman willing to rent her uterus for a little socialized medicine, when, with a little sperm cleansing, your own MOTHER could be the lucky surrogate?

http://www.queerty.com/mother-gives-birth-to-her-gay-sons-baby-boy-20101110/
« Last Edit: November 11, 2010, 05:36:44 PM by wtfimpoz »
09/01/2009-neg
mid april, 2010, "flu like illness".
06/01/2010-weakly reactive ELISA, indeterminant WB
06/06/2010-reactive ELISA, confirmed positive.

DATE       CD4     %     VL
07/15/10  423     33    88k
08/28/10  489     19    189k
09/06/10-Started ATRIPLA
09/15/10  420     38    1400
11/21/10  517     25    51

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #31 on: November 11, 2010, 07:33:47 PM »
Why settle for any woman willing to rent her uterus for a little socialized medicine, when, with a little sperm cleansing, your own MOTHER could be the lucky surrogate?

http://www.queerty.com/mother-gives-birth-to-her-gay-sons-baby-boy-20101110/

This is just way too fucked up.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #32 on: November 11, 2010, 07:41:57 PM »
This is just way too fucked up.

 Aren't you from Mississippi?
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #33 on: November 11, 2010, 07:51:25 PM »
I found it very loving of her to do this for her son.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline wtfimpoz

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #34 on: November 11, 2010, 07:54:11 PM »
As usual Philly, you have a way with words, though I seem to recall that the egg was someone else's and I'm sure artificial insemination was involved.
09/01/2009-neg
mid april, 2010, "flu like illness".
06/01/2010-weakly reactive ELISA, indeterminant WB
06/06/2010-reactive ELISA, confirmed positive.

DATE       CD4     %     VL
07/15/10  423     33    88k
08/28/10  489     19    189k
09/06/10-Started ATRIPLA
09/15/10  420     38    1400
11/21/10  517     25    51

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #35 on: November 11, 2010, 07:57:27 PM »
As usual Philly, you have a way with words, though I seem to recall that the egg was someone else's and I'm sure artificial insemination was involved.

That would be a boring story though.  I would like to think of it as a torrid sexual affair between a boy and his mother.  I'm with Philly on this.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #36 on: November 11, 2010, 08:03:27 PM »
 Aren't you from Mississippi?

Yes and?

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #37 on: November 11, 2010, 08:07:49 PM »
Yes and?

and what?  Do I have to have all the answers?
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Hellraiser

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  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: poz guy looking for a poz lady to co-parent or carry a baby
« Reply #38 on: November 11, 2010, 08:27:37 PM »
and what?  Do I have to have all the answers?

Yes, you're my floridian dalai lama

 


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