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Author Topic: Paranoia  (Read 2177 times)

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Offline john33

  • Member
  • Posts: 407
Paranoia
« on: May 15, 2010, 10:37:38 PM »
This evening while at work and amid the usual kitchen joking (think filthy comments etc), the sous chef suddenly turns around and says to me "you deserve what you get".

At the time i just laughed it off and threatened to soak himwith one of the hoses used for washing the floors.

Later he said it again in front still more people.

This comes just 2 days after I disclosed to a colleague. He's the union rep, and I asked him to help me find out my working rights. As from what I've been able to find the European Union classes HIV as a disability, but leaves it up to each member country to make up it's own variations to the rule. And in France it doesn't seem to be clear (this could just be down to my lack of understanding French legalise).

It may just be a coincidence, or me being paranoid, but seems like an odd coincidence.

I'm not sure if it's me, or the sous-chef shit-stirring or even fishing for information.

I'm telling myself to keep my Gob shut and wait and see as nothing is confirmed until I say something.

Any thoughts????


John

« Last Edit: May 15, 2010, 10:39:38 PM by john33 »

Offline alliance

  • Member
  • Posts: 159
  • hmmmm. . .
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2010, 10:52:34 PM »
Hi John
Based on what you've said - I think you're doing the right thing. It would be so easy to scurry up the ladder of inference, but that could just really complicate things.
I'm kind of new at this stuff myself.
Have you thougth about keeping a journal of stuff like this that goes on at work, so you can compartmentalize the worry and not let it bug you all day every day,  and also in case you need the documentation for legal reasons down the road?
Good luck!
"The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality."
10/10/12   CD4=378  %=32   VL=UD
5/10/12     CD4=426  %=32  VL=UD
11/15/11   CD4=296  %=29  VL=UD(20)
6/15/11     CD4=345  %=29  VL=UD(38)
3/15/11     CD4=317  %=31  VL=UD
12/1/10     CD4=315  %=28  VL=UD
8/11/10     CD4=250  %=25  VL=UD
6/10/10     CD4=380  %=24  VL=UD
3/4/10       CD4=340  %=22   VL=UD
1/11/10     CD4=312  %=22   VL =130
11/30/09   CD4=228  %=19  VL=1726
11/20/09    started atripla
10/15/09   CD4=281  %=18   VL=85,000

Offline Basquo

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  • Posts: 3,277
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2010, 11:13:26 PM »
John, I agree with alliance: keep a journal of all these incidents.

Offline john33

  • Member
  • Posts: 407
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2010, 11:29:03 PM »
i keep a journal anyway nad have just added this into it

Offline tednlou2

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  • Posts: 5,083
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2010, 01:52:22 AM »
Definitely keep a journal.  I learned to do that--not about HIV, but just regular bullshit.  Several months down the road, it got hard to remember what someone said.  I started keeping a journal.

When he said "you deserve what you get", there was nothing else he could have been talking about?  If he says it again, I would ask what he means by that. 

 

Offline blackwingbear

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  • Posts: 363
  • Hello, all you happy people....
    • THE DARK MIND OF BLACKWINGBEAR
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2010, 02:14:37 AM »
Agreed. Not in a confrontational way, or anything like it....but a simple, "Huh? What're you referring to?"..
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline john33

  • Member
  • Posts: 407
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2010, 05:11:24 AM »
Ted, I did ask him last night, and he just repeated it without explanation.

I've logged this into my journal, along with names of everyone who was there and could have heard both times.

John
« Last Edit: May 16, 2010, 06:46:32 AM by john33 »

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,083
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2010, 12:26:58 AM »
Ted, I did ask him last night, and he just repeated it without explanation.

I've logged this into my journal, along with names of everyone who was there and could have heard both times.

John

Well, it seems he has to be talking about HIV.  What a cruel person he must be.  He wants to mouth off, but doesn't have the balls to say what he means. 

How are you doing?  I just can't imagine having to work with someone who said that to me.  And, if he is talking about HIV, does this mean the person you told at work blabbed?  That is just as wrong if that is the case.     

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,166
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2010, 08:24:43 AM »
Inform yourself of your rights, keep a journal, and inform yourself of the what obligations that union rep had for confidentiality. Dont get this information from him/her, of course. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline john33

  • Member
  • Posts: 407
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2010, 08:47:41 AM »
thanks mecch,
i'll get onto the informing myself part

John

Offline hotpuppy

  • Member
  • Posts: 555
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2010, 11:40:54 AM »
You could always turn the tables on him... not sure if you are senior to him... but if you are you could simply reply that your hard work has gotten you where you are.
Don't obsess over the wrong things.  Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion.  It's about getting out there and enjoying it.   I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Offline Hellraiser

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  • Posts: 4,143
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2010, 11:47:45 AM »
You could always turn the tables on him... not sure if you are senior to him... but if you are you could simply reply that your hard work has gotten you where you are.

I'm a little unsure of this whole situation.  Taken out of context this could sound a lot worse than it actually is.  Are you sure he's just not joking with you?  Honestly though if it is what you think it is you're probably better off ignoring it than confronting him about it.  I don't know though..do you really think this other guy would've spoken to him about your status?

Offline Billy B

  • Member
  • Posts: 374
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2010, 12:40:53 PM »
This is the exact reason why I have never disclosed my status to anyone that I work with. I live in a small town and use out of town doctors and pharmacy to protect my personal information.
People gossip, it is just the nature of the workplace.
Peace,
Billy
VL 4420 CD4 340 CD4% 24   3/15/10 Started I&T
VL  UD   CD4 340 CD4% 26.5 05/13/10
VL  UD   CD4 360 CD4% 27.1 08/3/10
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VL  UD   CD4 370 CD4% 28.1 09/07/12
VL  UD   CD4 390 CD4% 32.3 03/14/13

Offline john33

  • Member
  • Posts: 407
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2010, 08:54:52 PM »
Update.

Since last week their has been silence (knowing the grapevine in the hotel it should be the opposite).
I ended up talking with the guy i disclosed to, and he reckons the sous was in fact referring to something that happened a year ago.

Quite how the change of subject mid-topic came about I'm unsure, but I have to think that I was overreacting and the poor sous unwittingly touched a very raw nerve.

Guess I'll have to grow a thicker skin and rapidly.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

John

(edited to make sense)
« Last Edit: May 24, 2010, 08:59:09 PM by john33 »

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,143
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: Paranoia
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2010, 11:32:00 PM »
Update.

Since last week their has been silence (knowing the grapevine in the hotel it should be the opposite).
I ended up talking with the guy i disclosed to, and he reckons the sous was in fact referring to something that happened a year ago.

Quite how the change of subject mid-topic came about I'm unsure, but I have to think that I was overreacting and the poor sous unwittingly touched a very raw nerve.

Guess I'll have to grow a thicker skin and rapidly.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

John

(edited to make sense)

I'm glad that my advice was spot on :D

 


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