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Author Topic: Get overwhelmed more easily now  (Read 2031 times)

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Offline wow1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 208
Get overwhelmed more easily now
« on: May 10, 2010, 04:55:33 AM »
I have been poz for three years now. Still not on meds but that is going to change in the next few months.

I have noticed something over the last year  or so. I get overwhelmed so easily now. I used to be able to handle so much more than I can today.

I used to be able to create a list of 15 things and get all 15 done in a single day. Now, 15 things and I start to get overwhelmed.

However, the truth is that regardless of my ability to handle 15 things, the reality is that I still have 15 things that need to be done. So many times I end up with unfinished stuff which seems to create more stress in my life.

I just can't stay on top of everything like I used to.

Don't know if it's HIV or getting older (I'm 40) or what or stress. But I shut down way too easily lately and way too frequently. It's affecting alot of my life.


Offline BT65

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  • Diagnosed + 1989
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2010, 05:06:55 AM »
I don't necessarily think it's the HIV itself that's causing your troubles.  Maybe you're focusing on it too much, since you said you may have to start meds soon.  Maybe you're stressed out over which meds you think you may go on.  Or maybe there's other stuff going on that you need to see a counselor for.

You also may be too hard on yourself.  Just because you used to be able to get 15 things done in a day, why do you have to now?  Making lists are good, but don't think you have to get "everything" done in one day.  Take it realistically.  Aim to get 2, 3, or 4 things done in a day.  I wouldn't be able to get 15 things done in a day.  Maybe if I were still in my 20's (I'm in mid-40's).  You see the results of trying to get it all done in one day-you say you're leaving things undone.  If you would aim for a smaller number, I bet more things would get completed.  What we used to be able to do, and what we can do now, can be two different things.  Just take it easy on yourself!

Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wow1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 208
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2010, 05:29:35 AM »
You are right it could be a number of things which is why I asked ...

I know it's not the meds. I've made my peace about that and am excited (sound strange?) about the meds. Mostly because I'm going to be part of a study for my meds and the pre-test data looks amazing.

Stress ... Lots of stress in my life ... Work stress (I freaking hate my job. My boss has some serious mental issues and it creates lots of stress) ... I've been looking for a new job but the economy is making this difficult ... If I didnt' have a child who needed insurance I would just wait tables but there are many responsibilities in my life and I'm not just going to ditch those for my own happiness.

My partner was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. He's not a yeller or violent but he's very needy and attention seeking. For years I have tried to figure out what is going on and now I know.

In a general sense my health. Not necessarily HIV but the stress has led to some health issues for me.

But I would say the biggest stresser in my life has to be my job. I can deal with my partner. I can deal with my health. I can't seem to deal with my job. After four years it's just getting worse and worse.

Yep, I'm already seeing a counselor. We both are to learn to deal with my partners issues.

I think that in both my real life and emotional life I just have too much on my plate.

Just wondering if HIV could contribute to the mental in ability to handle stress and get things done like I used too.

Sorry for rambling ...

Offline max123

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  • Posts: 377
  • Carpe Diem
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2010, 09:05:52 AM »
hi wow,

i can relate to what you're saying. i do agree with bt though...don't be so hard on yourself in expecting that you can do all as swiftly as you could 20 years ago. i think we've all realized that time has changed our abilities some. of course, the constant preoccupation with being poz doesn't help that too much either. for now, maybe just set realistic goals for yourself so that you can feel good about what you do get accomplished rather than feeling shitty about what you don't. also, maybe start looking for a new job if the market in your line of work supports that. good luck...
max
1/86 - 6/08 (annually): neg elisa
7/09: pos elisa/pos wb
8/09: cd4 560, cd4% 35, vl 13,050
12/09: cd4 568, cd4% 33, vl 2,690
4/10: cd4 557, cd4% 29.3, vl 6,440
7/10: cd4 562, cd4% 29.6, vl 3,780

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,017
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2010, 11:50:36 AM »
Wow,

Stress from work can be one of the most intense stressors you can endure (as you apparently already know), especially if you have a difficult boss. What makes it worse is you cant just remove yourself from the stressor, ie. you have to work. Some things that helped me when I was in a similar situation was to set aside some time to unwind relax each night after work. This may sound trite under the circumstances but sitting in a hot bubble bath with a hot rag over my face helped. Do this alone, tell your partner you need an hour or so to unwind. It's not a silver bullet, but it help to prevent the stress from getting worse each day. Another good way to relieve stress is to exercise or run each evening. I'm going to say something else here, have a good cry! Alot of people find this appalling or weak, but if you let your self cry you will release endorphines and the feeling that results is liberating, it can clear your mind and help you to think more clearly. Lock yourself in your room and have a good cry, no one has to know. Dont think of it as a sign of being weak, think of it as being a way to vent stress.

Is it possible you can transfer to another department within your company? Ultimately that's what I had to do and it probably saved my job and my sanity.

As far as your daily lists I think it's time to realize that for whatever reason (Virus/age/stress) you can not successfully complete all 15 every day. It's time to scale back, prioritize the top 7 or so and focus on those only each day. You'll be giving yourself a break and relieving alot of stress in doing so. Also realize this most likely is only a temporary setback for you and after your over the hump you can take on more "to do's" each day and be back up to 15 or even more each day.

Something else to mention here is after you start meds you may feel a return of energy and vitality (I did). This renewed energy will help you to deal with the stressors currently plaguing you.

I'm my non-doctorate opinion you are in the middle of a perfect storm ie. Stress from work, stress from being poz, stress from the anticipation of starting meds, stress from your relationship, stress from the need to provide for your child, etc... You are dealing with alot, and you have alot on your plate. But realize you are not superman and any one in the same situation would find it just as difficult as you. You are no "less human", or "less strong" than anyone else :)

In closing, focus on the the fact that no matter what you WILL get through this and once again you'll have the world as your oyster.

_Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,110
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2010, 01:07:01 PM »
Wow,

Stress from work can be one of the most intense stressors you can endure (as you apparently already know), especially if you have a difficult boss. What makes it worse is you cant just remove yourself from the stressor, ie. you have to work. Some things that helped me when I was in a similar situation was to set aside some time to unwind relax each night after work. This may sound trite under the circumstances but sitting in a hot bubble bath with a hot rag over my face helped. Do this alone, tell your partner you need an hour or so to unwind. It's not a silver bullet, but it help to prevent the stress from getting worse each day. Another good way to relieve stress is to exercise or run each evening. I'm going to say something else here, have a good cry! Alot of people find this appalling or weak, but if you let your self cry you will release endorphines and the feeling that results is liberating, it can clear your mind and help you to think more clearly. Lock yourself in your room and have a good cry, no one has to know. Dont think of it as a sign of being weak, think of it as being a way to vent stress.

Is it possible you can transfer to another department within your company? Ultimately that's what I had to do and it probably saved my job and my sanity.

As far as your daily lists I think it's time to realize that for whatever reason (Virus/age/stress) you can not successfully complete all 15 every day. It's time to scale back, prioritize the top 7 or so and focus on those only each day. You'll be giving yourself a break and relieving alot of stress in doing so. Also realize this most likely is only a temporary setback for you and after your over the hump you can take on more "to do's" each day and be back up to 15 or even more each day.

Something else to mention here is after you start meds you may feel a return of energy and vitality (I did). This renewed energy will help you to deal with the stressors currently plaguing you.

I'm my non-doctorate opinion you are in the middle of a perfect storm ie. Stress from work, stress from being poz, stress from the anticipation of starting meds, stress from your relationship, stress from the need to provide for your child, etc... You are dealing with alot, and you have alot on your plate. But realize you are not superman and any one in the same situation would find it just as difficult as you. You are no "less human", or "less strong" than anyone else :)

In closing, focus on the the fact that no matter what you WILL get through this and once again you'll have the world as your oyster.

_Will

Will is completely and totally right.  A very good way to destress is to remove ALL stimuli possible.  Make it quiet, put on a blindfold and turn off the lights, and get in the tub for at LEAST 20 minutes.  You'll feel like a brand new person when you get out.  Do that on a daily basis and you'll at least feel better short term as for long term I think all the rest of his suggestions were very good and on point.  Don't worry about the virus and the meds so much, once you start the meds you'll realize that they weren't as bad as you built them up to be.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,604
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2010, 02:17:53 AM »
Sometimes I feel like I'm more motivated since learning I was poz--thinking I need to get stuff done and not waste a day.  Then, I see my ping-pong table covered in mail, old bills, and papers.  I started going through all of it about 2 years ago, and it is still there.

 

Offline wow1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 208
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2010, 06:09:17 PM »
Thank you for all the replies.

I've been to the dr and am having health related stress issues.

So to handle it I'm making some big changes -  I want a totally different work environment. The only way to get this is to have myself trained for something else.

1. I am going to go back to school in a few months.
2. I am paying off my debts between now and then.
3. I'm going to take a lower paying less stressful job - just gotta find it.
4. No more negative people in my life. Don't want their negative energy. Gotta focus on the healthy stuff.

I've been waiting for the economy to change before making a job change. But at the rate things are going I could be stuck in this job for years. My body will not tolerate that for that long.

@ Hellraiser --- I started doing the bathtub thing ... My partner makes homemade bathsalts and keeps them stocked for me ... It really helps. Also started running again to work off the stress.

@ Willy ---- I start the  meds in three weeks. I'm not stressed about that at all. I hope that you are right about how much better I'll feel about them.

Thanks again for the comments ... More than anything it just helped to vent ...



Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,017
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2010, 06:11:35 PM »
EXCELLENT!!

Glad you've got a handle on things  ;D

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline wow1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 208
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2010, 06:18:39 PM »
Thank you .. I'm getting a handle on things .. Not there yet but I do feel calmer knowing that I now have a plan to get away from my job.

Offline mecch

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  • Posts: 10,724
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2010, 06:20:49 PM »
I'll take the unpopular position that it very well could be HIV that has cut your endurance and you'll see improvements when your virus is knocked down.  
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline wow1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 208
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2010, 06:26:07 PM »
I'll take the unpopular position that it very well could be HIV that has cut your endurance and you'll see improvements when your virus is knocked down. 


LOL ... I dont' think that is unpopular, at least it's not with me.

I do believe that HIV is having something to do with it. But when I posted the original message I was wondering if HIV was cause of this.

Is it the cause? I'm now sure it's a contributing factor but after posting on here I'm fairly certain that other things are contributing as well.

So the best thing I can do is to try to manage all of the factors.


Online Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2010, 06:29:50 PM »
Congratulations WOW . Your attitude and they way you have turned all this around is something you should be very proud of .

Offline max123

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  • Posts: 377
  • Carpe Diem
Re: Get overwhelmed more easily now
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2010, 09:19:55 PM »
hi wow,

it sounds like you've found your direction and how to get where you ant to go...that's great news. congrats on your decision to return to school. follow those dreams.

max
1/86 - 6/08 (annually): neg elisa
7/09: pos elisa/pos wb
8/09: cd4 560, cd4% 35, vl 13,050
12/09: cd4 568, cd4% 33, vl 2,690
4/10: cd4 557, cd4% 29.3, vl 6,440
7/10: cd4 562, cd4% 29.6, vl 3,780

 


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