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Author Topic: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested  (Read 2243 times)

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Offline alan74

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Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« on: May 05, 2010, 08:15:23 AM »
Hello folks, 

This forum has been a great source of information and comfort to my personal anxiety.  Your work is much appreciated.  Im a 36 yeard old guy from the UK.  Same relatiohship for 13 years.  I did something very silly and engaged in sex with a CSW.  The vaginal sex was protected, she gave me unprotected oral for approx 3 minutes before the vaginal sex.  I didnt ejaculate and removed the comdom.  The condom had rode up a little but the head of penis had remained covered at all times.  The condom looked fine.  During the oral there was no sign of any blood. 
I feel awful because my long term partner is pregneant and Im scared of risking her and unborn child.
I am approaching 4 weels post exposure.  I have been well except for a mild flu at 2 weeks.  I convinced myself it was related to this exposure.  Do i need to test? 

Thanks
Allan

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2010, 08:35:43 AM »
You had protected vaginal sex and you do not need to be tested for HIV as a result of this encounter.

It's not uncommon for people who've strayed outside their relationships to feel guilty and believe that things like HIV are some sort of punishment for their perceived wickedness. This is not the case. HIV is merely a virus, not a judgement of your behaviour.

And as a virus, it is not transmitted via protected vaginal sex.

Symptoms are never a good indicator of HIV status in any case. If you feel ill see your doctor.

Please read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our lessons on HIV transmission.

MtD

Offline alan74

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2010, 09:31:25 AM »
Hi Matty

Thanks for the reply.  I did read the welcome thread and about 50 other sites detailing hiv transmission.
The term 'theoretical' is often used rather no risk for insrtive oral transmission.
I think you described the scenario perfectly with 'perceived wickedness', my guilt regarding this encounter feeds my hiv anxiety. 
I find myself with a flash light in my mouth most mornings looking for any sign of change in my mouth and inspect every bump. 

Do your or Andy consider this encounter sufficent low risk to engage sexually with my partner? 

I think for a geneal sexual health checkup i will get tested at 12 weeks.  But this is 8 weeks away and im fearful of any risk to my family. 

Thanks again

Alan

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2010, 09:51:31 AM »
Alan, I appreciate your concern about your partner's health. But as long as you used a condom for intercourse, you were well and effectively protected. I can also understand that you want the good housekeeping seal of approval that a negative test result will give you.

By the way, you can test initially at 6 weeks. A negative result at that point, which is what I definitely expect for you, will point the way to the certainty of another negative at 13 weeks.

And yes, I would say you can safely have intercourse with your partner without fear of passing on a virus you don't have.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline alan74

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2010, 10:08:07 AM »
Thanks Andy (and Matty)

Having talked about this with informed and respected people helps a great deal.  Thanks for being here and doing what you do.  This service is excellent.

Ill take the advice of a 6 week check, assuming thats as you expect can I stop there?  I read your replies that 90% of people have detectable antibodies at 22 days.

Thanks again. (last post from me)
Alan

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2010, 10:09:48 AM »
Yes, you can stop at 6 weeks. Getting tested for you is only about your peace of mind. You didn't do anything risky so the test is not about risk.

Your getting a negative result is a slam dunk.
Andy Velez

Offline alan74

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2010, 09:09:36 AM »
Hi Andy

I was browsing the forum and noticed your comments on transmission under the foreskin. I am not circumsized and as indicated in my forst post I did notice the condom had rode up.  The head of my Penis remained covered but not all the shaft was?  Would that alter your opinion on my risk?

Thanks again
Alan.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2010, 09:19:02 AM »
Having the head of your penis covered is what matters. The condom riding up a bit doesn't affect the effectiveness of it protecting you.

I still expect you to test negative. Your pregnant partner is not at risk because you can't give her a virus you don't have. And you weren't at risk for getting HIV. 
Andy Velez

Offline alan74

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2010, 09:38:53 AM »
Thanks Andy

I had hoped browsing the forum would help ease my anxiety not raise more questions.  Can you elaborate on how transmission and the foreskin can occur please? until today I was under the impression that the Urethra was the only entry point for hiv (excluding cuts/sores) for the penis. 

And a big thank you once again for being here and listening/replying to us worried folk.

Cheers
Alan

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2010, 10:31:03 AM »
The inside skin of the foreskin is composed of the kind of cells which are receptive to transmission. The foreskin has high concentrations of CD4 T and Langerhans cells, which are the immune cells typically targeted by HIV. Also, studies have shown that the foreskin harbors less of a protective protein called Keratin than do other types of skin.

But the important thing to know is that as long as the head of the penis is covered by a condom then you are/were well protected.  

I also urge you to stop surfing the net about HIV because you will unquestionably find so-called information that will feed your fears and all to no good purpose.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2010, 10:36:07 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline alan74

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2010, 11:02:28 AM »
Hi Andy

Sorry to reply again but I'm left somewhat confused by your answer.  If the forskin can potentially be a risk for transmission how can we say that covering the penis head is all important.  If the head was covered but the foreskin was exposed, would this not be a potential route for transmission.  Assuming that the forskin was exposed to vaginal fluid.  (as might be the case if the condom rode up during intercourse.


Thanks again. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2010, 12:00:14 PM »
If the condom is on properly it will cover the entire head of your penis including the foreskin whether the foreskin is over the head or pulled back. A condom may occasionally ride up somewhat on the length of the penis. That is not a risk as long as the head and foreskin are covered.

You're splitting hairs here, Alan. A properly worn condom gives you the protection you need. Period.  
Andy Velez

Offline alan74

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2010, 04:44:25 AM »
Thanks Andy

I will stop trying to invent unlikely transmission routes in my mind. 

Thanks for your support.  Its appreciated. 

Alan

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #13 on: May 10, 2010, 07:26:33 AM »
You're welcome. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline alan74

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #14 on: May 10, 2010, 11:17:41 AM »
Andy

I am 28 days exactly since my fling with the CSW (feels much longer) We are taking a long break in 10 days time for some quality time etc.  I trust your opinion and I would be very grateful of it.  I can get an free Elisa test at my local GUM clinic with results back in 7 days (full STD checkup)
I know 13 weeks post exposure is suggested for elisa testing.  Would there be any value in doing this at 4 weeks?

I can have a p24 antigen test performed in a private hospital for 110 ($200) results in 2 days. 
I understand this test is good rom 28 days.

I just want to go away and give the mrs a nice time without any fears.   I am thinking the expensive HIV test is the only way I can do it.  Sorry if I have been a pain.

Thanks (this will be my last post except to tell u the results) Your a good man Andy.  (you all are on here, except for Ann who is a good lady of course ;o) )


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Pregneant partner - Should i be tested
« Reply #15 on: May 10, 2010, 11:26:02 AM »
   Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

 


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