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Poll

Im scared i may have contracted HIV and am so scared

help
0 (0%)
please help
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 0

Author Topic: completely scared  (Read 3125 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline so_scared24

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completely scared
« on: April 30, 2010, 08:30:52 PM »
Alright, I'll start off by saying that I've had very minimal sexual relations. The last time i had intercourse was 4 years ago and it was unprotected( stupid me). Since then i have had 2 hiv tests done first 1 at 6 months and the other 2 years later.
   I surfed your site exactly one year ago when i feared i could have possibly contracted HIV from my boyfriend. Being that we weren't together for too long, I didn't want to have full blown intercourse just yet, so he fingered me vaginally instead. However only after the third ocasion in which he fingered me, did i realize that he used the same hand and fingers which he first jacked off with and then immediately entered those same fingers in my vagina with precum. At first when he told me how he did that i was petrified that he could have 1. gotten me pregnant and 2. possibly have given me HIV ( at the time of this incident he was hiv negative being that he got tested not to long ago). So when i looked on these forums i read countless instances about mutual masterbation and how it was a no risk thing and i was able t let go of my fears. Since that last incident with him, i have not had any other relationship of any sort and no sexual contact of any kind. However in the past six months, i have lost a visible amount of facial fat and the rest of my body has not been affected and this has worried me. I've lost enough weight on my face that my mom even noticed it and is wondering what is going on. I am also getting people constantly staring at me like there is something wrong with me and I've never had this happen to me before.   I looked up facial fat loss on google and all im getting is lipoatrophy. When i look into lipoatrophy all i see it being linked to is those who are HIV positive who suffer from this. This is now taking me back to the time of my exboyfriend and the precum on his fingers which he inserted in my vagina and am now worried that i could possibly be HIV positive from this incident.

Offline so_scared24

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Please help. I'm confused about possibly being infected
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2010, 08:59:02 PM »
Sorry, i'm new to writting in here, i posted an identical message like this under "polls" by mistake!

Alright, I'll start off by saying that I've had very minimal sexual relations. The last time i had intercourse was 4 years ago and it was unprotected( stupid me). Since then i have had 2 hiv tests done first 1 at 6 months and the other 2 years later.
   I surfed your site exactly one year ago when i feared i could have possibly contracted HIV from my boyfriend. Being that we weren't together for too long, I didn't want to have full blown intercourse just yet, so he fingered me vaginally instead. However only after the third ocasion in which he fingered me, did i realize that he used the same hand and fingers which he first jacked off with and then immediately entered those same fingers in my vagina with precum. At first when he told me how he did that i was petrified that he could have 1. gotten me pregnant and 2. possibly have given me HIV ( at the time of this incident he was hiv negative being that he got tested not to long ago). So when i looked on these forums i read countless instances about mutual masterbation and how it was a no risk thing and i was able t let go of my fears. Since that last incident with him, i have not had any other relationship of any sort and no sexual contact of any kind. However in the past six months, i have lost a visible amount of facial fat and the rest of my body has not been affected and this has worried me. I've lost enough weight on my face that my mom even noticed it and is wondering what is going on. I am also getting people constantly staring at me like there is something wrong with me and I've never had this happen to me before.   I looked up facial fat loss on google and all im getting is lipoatrophy. When i look into lipoatrophy all i see it being linked to is those who are HIV positive who suffer from this. This is now taking me back to the time of my exboyfriend and the precum on his fingers which he inserted in my vagina and am now worried that i could possibly be HIV positive from this incident.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2010, 09:11:40 PM »
You never had an exposure. Fingering is not a risk of contracting HIV.

Offline so_scared24

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2010, 11:33:26 PM »
therefore my face getting incredibly skinny and emaciated ( i look ill and unhealthy) and my body remaining the same is due to another possible medical problem and then should go to the doctor to get it figured out? There is no reason for me to lose sleep on possibly becoming contracted with HIV in this manner right?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2010, 11:46:52 PM »
If you are having medical problems of ANY sort, you should go and see a doctor. There was not a risk for HIV in the scenario you described.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline so_scared24

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  • Posts: 10
Re: completely scared
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2010, 11:57:41 PM »
Thank you guys so much for your help! i will indeed get whatever may be causing my face to get skinnier sorted out by my doctor. I was just scared that it was lipoatrophy from HIV, being thats the only thing I was able to find online.
Again, thank you!  :)  Now i can get some rest :)

Online Andy Velez

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2010, 08:50:10 AM »
I've merged your threads here. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread. That allows readers to follow the conversation and benefit from the exchanges.

You are unquestionably HIV negative. Nothing you are reporting suggests that you have done anything to change your HIV status since you tested negative a while back.

Discuss your concerns about your face and anything else with your doctor. You are misinterpreting that as having something to do with HIV. It doesn't. Period.

As far as protection against the sexual transmission of HIV, just use condoms consistently for vaginal and anal intercourse and you will be well protected. It's just as simple as that.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline so_scared24

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2010, 10:44:32 PM »
Thank you so much for your help and I will be going to my doctor for testing on other things which may be causing my problem...

Offline so_scared24

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2010, 07:44:42 PM »
Hey guys, im back again  :(
Since the last time i posted, i haven't engaged in any other new sexual activities but I do still have some fears. When I initially feared about my facial fat loss, i realized it was due to me getting braces and the braces pulling at my skin, making my mouth protrude from the braces and therefore my cheeks seeming sucked in.
However the last sexual incident i had that i already explained about the fingering etc, well it still has me wondering. Being that i was being fingered fom my bf, i was on all fours and he was in back of me. I mean, i should be able to tell the difference between fingers in me or a penis right? Especially being that i hadn't had sex four years since the fingering incident. A penis feels way different then fingers right? I'm just fearing that he lied to me ( we don't speak anymore and he won't pick up my calls...we broke up) and put his penis in me instead of his fingers. What's producing this fear is the fact that I've had a sore throat and it hurts wheni swallow since last thursday but only on my left side and I read how this is a symptom of HIV. Now if this is true, is it possible for it to have taken this long for me to get this symptom like one year later from the incident i had? I'm going crazy and want to get tested but at the same time, i'm wondering if im just being way to paranoid with this and just losing my mind???!!!!!
I'm so sorry if this is a waste of time for you guys, but im really stressing out :(

Offline Ann

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2010, 07:59:20 PM »
So,

You would absolutely know the difference between fingers and a penis.

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv.

And if you cannot let go of these unwarranted fears, maybe it's time to see a therapist. We cannot help you with that here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline so_scared24

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2010, 01:10:26 AM »
Thank you Ann for replying.
I'm trying so hard not to be parranoid about this. I also know that whats fueling all this paranoia is ever since I found out that my dad had cheated on my mom for the past 6 years with multiple women and never used condoms. I don't know if my dad may have possibly infected my mother and I don't know how to bring this up to my mother and ask her if she got tested or how important it is for her to get tested. I also know that she got a CBC and she seemed super thrilled that they didn't notice any abnormalities with her bloodwork. I just hope she knows that HIV can't be detected in that test and can only be found in HIV specific tests. She's getting odd symptoms, which I know how much you guys hate to hear about, but everytime she complains about these odd symptoms and knowing her bloodwork came out perfect, I keep on getting worried for her.
To make matters worse, on two occasions there was a movie and documentry on HIV and she changed it right away. When i asked her why she changed it, she got all  mad and short fused saying how it was to depressing to watch.
This is probably the wrong section to be posting about this, but I was hoping maybe one of you guys can help me by suggesting how I should go about asking my mom about her status or how to go about telling her that she has to get tested for an HIV specific test to know her status.  Or do you know of any other sites i can visit that will help me out with this?
I just can't deal with worrying so much about her

Online Andy Velez

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2010, 08:59:35 AM »
My suggestion is that you see a therapist or similar professional to discuss your concerns about your mother and how to handle them. About that and your ongoing unwarranted fears about HIV you need some help which we cannot provide in this setting.

Do yourself a favor and get some help.

Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: completely scared
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2010, 09:26:09 AM »
So,

Just tell her straight out - "mom, as dad cheated on you and never used condoms, you should be tested for hiv and all the other STIs as well." You both need to be aware that it is possible to have something like gonorrhea or chlamydia and not have any symptoms. Don't worry about what her reaction may be or whether or not you find it embarrassing to talk to her about this, just do it. She needs to hear it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline so_scared24

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2010, 01:10:23 AM »
Thank you Ann and Andy!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: completely scared
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2010, 10:16:44 AM »
So,

You're welcome. Please do have that talk with you mom, she needs to hear it. Good luck.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline so_scared24

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  • Posts: 10
Re: completely scared
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2010, 06:20:59 PM »
Im back :(
I got my braces removed and I still see this v shaped face. my cheeks are still sunken in and i could feel and see the bones on the side of my face. people are constantly telling me that I look like i lost alot of weight, but i haven't. I actually have tried to put on weight and it won't go to my face, just the rest of my body. I've read that the beginning of facial lipoatrphy is fat loss from the temples and then the cheeks giving this appearnce of  v shaped face. Then i also read that a majority of hiv related lipoatrophy comes from the hiv meds. Is this true? If a person were to be hiv positive, how quick does facial lipoatrophy start. It would be a year since the last incident i stated in my thread and its been about 6 months into when i've noticed how quickly i've lost so much weight in my face. At first i thout it was from the metal braces in my mouth, but they have been removed this week and the shape of my face hasn't gone bak to normal. Are you guys sure that mutual masterbation is safe? I'm so sorry for wasting your time but im getting so scared that im starting to have anxiety problems

Offline so_scared24

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Re: completely scared
« Reply #16 on: August 20, 2010, 07:37:34 PM »
I also forgot to add that i went to my doctors and  got a cbc as well as getting my thyroid and hormones checked. All results came back and the doctor said i was perfectly healthy with no diseases or virusses to be found in my blood work. She also took a urine sample, and that came out perfect too. I'm only 24 years old. Could this possibly be related to age then? I know you aren't doctors, but if  you say that the events i listed, didn't put me to risk and that my bloodwork came out fine, what else could possibly be causing this? Maybe i should just get tested to put my mind at ease.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: completely scared
« Reply #17 on: August 20, 2010, 11:10:12 PM »
so,

Sweetie, you don't have hiv. Hiv lipo issues are related to hiv medications. Get a grip and get on with your life. If you feel unwell or have any questions about your health, see your doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv as you do not have hiv. Get over it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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