Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 18, 2014, 12:18:53 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23494
  • Latest: kylebam
Stats
  • Total Posts: 639185
  • Total Topics: 48519
  • Online Today: 164
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Really Worried  (Read 1683 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline reallyworriednow

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Really Worried
« on: April 28, 2010, 03:51:31 PM »
Hi!

There is a question here, but first some history.

I am bipolar male. In 2008 I had changes in my bowel movements. Had a colonoscopy and nothing abnormal was found. So they said IBS (except I have never had cramping like the internet says about people with IBS)

I was stupid on more than one occasion. I had a friend over, also male, and we experimented. I was always bottom, and a couple of times intoxicated, and no condom was used. He says he never came. I never asked him his status, but the more I think about it.... He probably weighs 150 and I have seen purple spots on his and his wifes arms. He also gave me a few blowjobs. I quit messing around with him when I started seeing this woman.

We lasted a month or so, and then I met another woman. I was afraid of HIV, but instead of going to a free clinic, I ordered a figer prick test over the internet. This was in March 2009. I have no idea where the kit was made, but something made me think it was from China. I was negative. I tested myself about a month after my male experience.

Why is there a 12-13 week window, when the average to seroconversion is 22 days?


Anyway, now I can remember having a sore throat in April 2009, but no fever or other problems. Jump to a couple of weeks ago, I remember sweating profusely after very little excertion. The outside temp was about 60. This started me worrying. I dont have night sweats, although sometimes I do wake up and am sweating. My girlfriend recently was sick for about 12 hours, sweating and chills, but the next day she was fine. This week she took off a couple of days, and one day she again had sweating and chills while she was sleeping, during the day. We both have genital herpes, and now she thinks she thinks she is having an outbreak. I am on suppresive meds, and have insurance, but she doesnt.

Last Wednesday, my hands started to feel like they were burning (I had the same feeling when I took Prozac). My meds have not changed. A few days ago, my tongue started feeling different. No change in taste.

I am so scared to go get tested. If I tested negative, I am sure my stomach and nerves would settle down. Klonipin doesnt seem to be helping any.

If I tested positive, I would have to tell her, which would kill me. And if I tested positive, I do really think that I would do myself harm.

So how long can I expect to live if I am HIV+ without meds?

Oh, she has lost about 15 lbs, and I am sure that I have lost some, weither it be from my worry or HIV.

If she and I do ever break up, I will do the right thing and get tested. If positive... I am as good as dead, because we all have to die sometime, right?

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2010, 03:58:38 PM »
Just go test at a reliable testing facility.

Offline reallyworriednow

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2010, 04:40:04 PM »
And if positive.... my life ends, or I will atleast try to end it. I already have a plan.

I would rather not know my status right now. Because I will have caused someone else to die (my girlfriend)

And how would I break the news to her? Her family loves me, I am good to her. I would hate for that to change.

Drinking is about the only way that calms my nerves( or atleast I stop thinking about the damage I may have caused)

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,693
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2010, 04:52:05 PM »
OK, lay off all of the drama, please. You had a risk. You need to get tested and if you are more than 13 weeks past the last risky incident then you can take a test anytime now.

Nothing you are reporting symptomatically is in any way HIV-specific nor are any of the other "clues" you are throwing into the mix 

Get tested and hopefully you're going to be negative which will make all of your hand-wringing irrelevant.

Good luck with your test and keep us posted. 
Andy Velez

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2010, 05:01:42 PM »
Wow, way to insult those of us who are HIV positive. In the unlikely event that you ARE positive, the current state of medication can give you a life that is as long and perhaps as healthy as anyone else. And if you do not know your status, then how will you get your girlfriend tested?

Thing is, in your post your last test was in March, 2009. Your last unprotected intercourse was long before that. Assuming you used a reliable test (in the US the Home Access Test is reliable) you are reliably negative. However, having a battery of STD testing done for the both of you is never a bad idea, especially if you are considering a serious relationship (not using condoms as contraceptive).

I am sorry you are struggling with bipolar depression. Having seen that in action on many occasions, I can tell you - I would rather deal with my HIV infection any day. You are a brave person to tackle such a debilitating illness and attempt to overcome it. I hope you are in communication with your mental health provider over this issue.

As for the window period, it is true that most people seroconvert well beneath the three-month window. But the rare outliers necessitate keeping the window at three months, even with the current standard of testing. I imagine this window is also padded a bit to account for people who, quite frankly, cannot recall the exact date of their exposure. Syphilis shares the same window period, perhaps for the same reasons.

Regardless, you can get a test done which will assuage your fears right now, this week. You do not have to put yourself through torture any longer than you choose to.

I empathize with your emotional difficulties. But since you have another person trusting you, it is in her best interest - and yours - to make certain everything is okay before moving forward. Otherwise, believe me, you will grow to hate her as much as you will yourself.

Seriously, Sober up long enough to get a test done. Relationships come with some mighty big challenges. Parenthood, commitment, responsibilities to someone other than yourself. this is one of those things. I sincerely wish you the best of luck, and I sincerely think that you will - at least as regards HIV - come out of this okay.

PS: Drinking at all, much less a lot, interferes like hell with almost ALL medication for bipolar disorder. Self-medicating is not a long-term solution. If you are not on meds, I highly recommend you start. If you are on meds, I highly recommend that you talk to your mental health provider about this.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyworriednow

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2010, 03:52:52 PM »
Well, after having to wait for what seemed like forever, I got tested today. The test was Uni Gold and non-reactive. I am HIV- and will do everything I can to stay that way!

Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,693
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2010, 04:50:27 PM »
Great! All you have to do to keep it that way is to always use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. No exceptions.

Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

Offline reallyworriednow

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2010, 05:18:59 PM »
Sorry to post again after my negative result, but would taking Acyclovir 400mg/day have skewed my test after 52+ weeks?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2010, 05:46:32 PM »
No.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline reallyworriednow

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2010, 09:21:11 PM »
Well, my negative status doesnt really mean anything. I am still having unprotected vanginal sex with my girlfriend, and I dont know her status.

Now my question is: how do I bring up the subject?

Do I tell her that I was tested recently, and was negative, and that I would like her to get tested? Thats going to be one hard conversation. She will question me as to why she should be tested (if I have cheated on her, which I havent)

Even if she tested positive, I wouldnt leave her. I think I have resigned myself that if I get HIV, I get it and we will just be there for each other.

I hope that the place I was tested keeps records, where I can prove that I was negative on April 29, 2010.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2010, 09:31:10 PM »
Have you not learned a thing?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2010, 09:33:05 PM »
Hard conersations are part and parcel of an adult sexual identity. I don't knwo what to tell you besides suck it up and talk to her. You like her enough to have unprotected sex with her. Respect her enough to care about her health - and yours.

Many places offer rapid HIV testing, where you can go - together - and get the results while you wait. Though please remember, as long as you are having unprotected sex with a partner of unknown status, you are at risk for an STD, including HIV. Same goes for your girlfriend, pill or no pill.

I am actually appalled that you would come here, worried all to hell and back about being infected, yet continue to have unprotected sex with your supposed girlfriend. Such callous disregard for others borders on the sociopathic, and I find that I must respectfully withdraw from this conversation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Really Worried
« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2010, 06:36:52 AM »
Really,

Just tell your girlfriend that getting tested is what responsible adults do. Tell her if she doesn't want to test, then you're going to start using condoms. If she freaks out and gets mad at you, then you're better off without her. Anyone who refuses to take responsibility for their sexual health isn't worth being with.

And make sure  you get tested at three months past your last unprotected encounter.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.