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Author Topic: How Do I Stay Negative?  (Read 6502 times)

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Offline Bookguy708

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How Do I Stay Negative?
« on: April 25, 2010, 06:23:06 PM »
Long story short, 3 months ago I found out that my Partner of 23 years had spent the last 10 years cheating to the tune of 120 different guys.  After insisting that he get tested for all STDs, he was diagnosed as HIV+.

During the 10 years that he was fooling around, we never had sex.  Not once.  He had other things going on in his life (i.e., job loss, a failing business, sick mother, depression) so I never really pressured him.  Now I know that he didn't want to pass along anything to me, like an STD.

Since his disclosure about his cheating, we have both been in therapy to see if there is a relationship to save.

After learning about his cheating, we began to engage in sex once again (hello, hysterical bonding!).  I have been on the receptive end of intercourse twice and he three or four times.  Each of these events were done using condoms.  All other interactions have been oral (ex: "head").  In no case did I ever swallow his ejaculate.

I will be tested for the first time on May 3rd.  If I am, in fact, negative, how do I stay that way?  I would like to hear from long-term "mixed" couples and hear examples of what you do in the bedroom that allows you to connect at that sexual level but keeps the negative partner negative.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Online mecch

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2010, 06:26:13 PM »
what you do are follow the safe sex rules that have been established for many many years. Sounds like you know how.  Use a condom for intercourse.  Good luck with the saving of the relationship.  A long term one that can be saved is worth saving, of course!
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2010, 07:05:43 PM »
Thanks, Mecch.

With the exception of my Life Coach and therapist, everyone else tells me that I am crazy for staying with a man who cheated 120 times.  Some even imply that me even thinking about staying with him demonstrates that I have no self-esteem.

I think that's bullshit.  This is a man I've been with 23 years (half my life) and my love for him is very deep.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to get past what he's done to us but 23 years is a long time just to throw away without careful thought and some soul searching.

Before his HIV+ diagnosis, he closed his business so we could move to another state in support of me getting promoted.  Without me, he has no insurance, income or even a place to live.  What kind of human being would I be to throw him out without exploring the possibility of being able to move past this?

As soon as we've had some progress in our individual counseling, we will be starting couples counseling.

In the interim, sex has been a great way for us to reconnect on a deeper emotional level; something to help us stay "connected" while we go through this journey of discovery and decision making.

What I do not want to do is convert to HIV+.  That is why I am so interested in hearing from longtime "mixed" couples to know exactly the types of sexual play they engage in so I know what safer behaviors are avoidable to is.  At the moment, my reading seems to indicate that all anal sex should be done using condoms and that oral sex is safe as long as he does not ejaculate in my mouth.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2010, 07:35:47 PM »
Matty the Damned offers no opinion on whether you should stay with your serially unfaithful partner. If that's the kind of thing that bakes your cake, by all means have another slice.

The answer to "how do I stay negative?" is really rather simple. Always use condoms and water-based lubricant when you have anal sex with him. Be mindful that in theory HIV can be transmitted to the receptive partner during unprotected oral sex.

Pretty clear, yes?

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2010, 01:59:34 AM »
I agree with Matty. The means to avoiding HIV are pretty clear. The means to avoiding heartbreak, however, are not. I wish you the best in the future.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2010, 11:23:29 AM »
I really appreciate everyone's responses thus far...

I am very interested in hearing from couples who are actually in a situation wherein one partner is positive and one is not.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Offline Sebastian1969

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2010, 12:11:48 PM »
Bookguy-
+/- couple here, 7 years.   
To stay negative, educated yourself and play safe and you have to trust your partner. 
I am not going to comment on your bf's unfaithful behavior.

Offline Moffie65

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2010, 04:40:43 PM »
HIV+ here, and with an HIV- partner for 22 years.  Use condoms all the time, and you'll be safe.  Period.

As for your relationship?  I must say that if you want to trust this partner after this, I would suggest that you are swimming in a dry lake.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2010, 05:13:47 PM »
Moffie65:

Thank you for the response.  Do you also use condoms during oral sex?


HIV+ here, and with an HIV- partner for 22 years.  Use condoms all the time, and you'll be safe.  Period.

As for your relationship?  I must say that if you want to trust this partner after this, I would suggest that you are swimming in a dry lake.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2010, 05:25:54 PM »
Guys:

I appreciate all of the advise that you have provided.  Most of it has been very helpful and exactly what I was looking for.

However, while I do appreciate the responses and comments about staying negative in a "mixed" relationship, I am not looking for advise or comments about my relationship as it relates to my partner's infidelities.  True, I brought it up but I regret doing so now.

I am sure many of you have been victims of infidelity and have your own baggage in that regard.  At this time, I have enough of my own, I am not looking to carry anyone else's.  I have a Psychologist, he has a Psychologist and we have a Marriage Counselor who specializes in same-sex relationships.  I prefer to get my relationship advise from them.  My partner's infidelities are part of a disease of the psyche and mind but a disease nonetheless.  People simply do not abandon loved ones just because they are ill; I would expect that to resonate here of all places.

I apologize if I am coming across curt, but I am on this board for information about HIV and its impact on my relationship.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2010, 05:38:46 PM »
Guys:

I appreciate all of the advise that you have provided.  Most of it has been very helpful and exactly what I was looking for.

However, while I do appreciate the responses and comments about staying negative in a "mixed" relationship, I am not looking for advise or comments about my relationship as it relates to my partner's infidelities.  True, I brought it up but I regret doing so now.

I am sure many of you have been victims of infidelity and have your own baggage in that regard.  At this time, I have enough of my own, I am not looking to carry anyone else's.  I have a Psychologist, he has a Psychologist and we have a Marriage Counselor who specializes in same-sex relationships.  I prefer to get my relationship advise from them.  My partner's infidelities are part of a disease of the psyche and mind but a disease nonetheless.  People simply do not abandon loved ones just because they are ill; I would expect that to resonate here of all places.

I apologize if I am coming across curt, but I am on this board for information about HIV and its impact on my relationship.

Freedom of expression does not mean freedom from response. :)

Such is the way of the Internet Message Board. You post about it, you invite comment on it.

That said, HIV transmission works the same whether one is in a long term relationship or not. When fucking - use condoms.

The oral sex thing is more complex - and hotly debated around these here parts. There was a study done a couple of years back which examined sexual behaviours and HIV transmission in sero-discordant relationships.

Amongst those in the study there was not a single case of HIV transmission arising from unprotected oral sex. So whether you use condoms when you blow your partner is pretty much a matter of taste.

MtD

Offline vasky

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2010, 07:14:44 PM »
Hi,
I am in a mixed relationship myself. He is poz I am neg. Safe sax always and for your own piece of mind (at least that is what works for me) learn about HIV, treatments and so forth. The better informed you are the better decisions you can make.
Take care of yourself.

Offline Moffie65

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2010, 07:33:01 PM »
I guess an apology is in order, as I just couldn't avoid the comment on your relationship.  I have seen so many relationships that turn to shit as soon as the dredded bug turns up, and just couldn't hold my fingers.  Sorry for that, it was not my place to comment.  :(

Now, about the condoms.  We only use them for insertive sex, simply because of the facts given by Matty, and also because the virus is very tempurature sensitive and doesn't pass easily from one person to another in a casual way.  Sex is pretty much up to you, but ......... I can't write any more here, I think you have enough information about the question.  :)
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #13 on: April 28, 2010, 03:52:38 PM »
Hi,
I am in a mixed relationship myself. He is poz I am neg. Safe sax always and for your own piece of mind (at least that is what works for me) learn about HIV, treatments and so forth. The better informed you are the better decisions you can make.
Take care of yourself.


Thank you, Vasky!  It's great to hear from you.  How long have you been together?
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #14 on: April 28, 2010, 03:54:06 PM »
I guess an apology is in order, as I just couldn't avoid the comment on your relationship.  I have seen so many relationships that turn to shit as soon as the dredded bug turns up, and just couldn't hold my fingers.  Sorry for that, it was not my place to comment.  :(

Now, about the condoms.  We only use them for insertive sex, simply because of the facts given by Matty, and also because the virus is very tempurature sensitive and doesn't pass easily from one person to another in a casual way.  Sex is pretty much up to you, but ......... I can't write any more here, I think you have enough information about the question.  :)

Moffie65:

Thank you for the apology and for the information.  Both are GREATLY appreciated!!!!!!
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Offline jm1953

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #15 on: April 29, 2010, 05:27:15 PM »
Dear Bookguy,

I was in a relationship for ten years, however, we both knew we were HIV+ going into it.   So I can't comment on one partner being negative the other positive.  I have many friends who are partners who are and they seem to be doing just fine.  However, except for one of these relationships, infidelity was not an issue.

Speaking to this subject, I found out my partner also had been chatting and cheating numerous times, even knowingly being positive with both positive and negative partners.  I kind of suspected but turned my head because I really loved him, and didn't want to be out in the single world again. 

I'm glad you are seeking counseling together.  We did as well until he dropped the bomb on me that either we open up our relationship, or we are through.  I said no.  And sticking to my guns, having both our names on our major holdings, like real estate and such, I ended up with two attorneys.  Not saying this will happen to you, and I'm sure the situation could be different.  But I really ended up giving him the benefit of the doubt because I loved him so much, and got sooooo screwed both financially and emotionally at the end.  I should have gone with my gut knowing I couldn't trust him.

Again, I know you don't want to hear about this part of the equation, but please be careful!!!!!!!!! 

Also, remember, if not already said, it is good you had him tested for STD's, but he could have set you up for them as well during the cheating.  I hope you guys can mend fences.  You have a lot invested in this relationship.  But it kind of sounds sex addiction might be part of the problem on his end, the counselor might bring that up.  That was the problem on my partner's side, and he went through counseling, it went away, supposedly, then came back with a vengence.

Please take this for what it is worth.  When trust has been violated, and you have been put at risk for STD's or getting HIV from your partner for years, think seriously about things going forward.  As I said I hope all works out, and by all means use safe sex like others have said.

I'm telling you this with all good intentions.  We all learn from other's experiences and sometimes can save them the hardship of going through the same thing themselves.

Best,

JM
Positive 25 years. 7/21/2012 Current CD 4: 780 Viral load: less than 50. 38 to 40%
Current drug regimen, Isentress, , Emtriva, Sustiva Wellbutrin, Klonipin, Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2010, 12:44:30 PM »
JM:

Thank you so much for your post.  Your support and experience are clearly evident and I thank you.

You know, interestingly, the entire 10 years that my partner was cheating, he and I never had a single, sexual encounter.  I know now that, despite the cheating, he was unwilling to chance me catching an STD.  I'm sure that not being able to explain why a couple monogamous for the last 13 years needed to use condoms all of a sudden was also a driving factor, but, end of the day, we did not have sexual contact during that whole time.

So, the obvious question is: how doesn't a lack of sexual contact for 10 years set off any bells?  Well, his cheating began after he lost his job ( a six figure job he'd had for 13 years), opened his own business (which only netted him about $30K/year) and had to start taking care of his mother full-time (who lived on the street behind us, had Alzheimer's and was bed ridden).  He was, obviously, depressed and being treated for the depression.  So, when he said he was tired or not in the mood, I honored those feelings believing them to be tied to his long work hours and care-giving.  It doesn't take long before not having sex becomes the norm.  Sounds weird but it's true.


Let me also interject here that at no point in time after I found out about his cheating did I communicate to him that everything was fine.  His behavior was deplorable, selfish, deadly and the exact opposite of what builds trust and love in a relationship.  Nothing he ever says or does from this point forward will make his cheating okay.

With that said, he has paid for his cheating by losing my trust, getting infected with HIV and destroying his own self-esteem.

Since we moved from Florida to Georgia to support my career, and he had to close his business, he has no income or health insurance without me.  While these reasons are not enough to make me want to stick around, the first 13 years of our 23 year relationship is.

I mandated that he must be tested for STDs and HIV.  He did so.  I mandated that he was to go into counseling.  He has done so.  He is being treated for sexual addiction.  I am also in therapy.  He also knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that a single hook-up outside of our relationship is grounds for me throwing him out for good.  I   also have complete access to his PC, his phone, his voice-mail, his e-mail and the Nanny Cam he does not know is in the house.  I also installed a Key Catcher on his PC.

Is all of this enough to make me want to stay with him?  I don't know but I am committed to playing this out and seeing where it takes us.  I hate that he did this and that he introduced infidelity an HIV into our relationship, but I also know that I am not the sort of person who cuts and runs when things and people get bad.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Online mecch

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #17 on: April 30, 2010, 05:32:32 PM »
I am going to share with you and this thread and the public some perspective based on my experience in my last and complicated relationship that has some similarities to yours.  You can take it or leave it, its meant for the net as much as for you. 

So, based on personal experience and then with coming on three years therapy thinking about it:

It takes two to tango in a couple.

(You seem to write a lot about your BF’s experiences and problems and ways of relating as to how they might relate to the absence of sex in your couple for a decade.) 

My therapist made it clear that NO SEX is a decision made by both people. 

(You mention a few times about all his cheating, but you seem to imply you didn't cheat so that means you went 10 years without sex, with anyone ? 

Having no sex for 10 years is as unusual as one's BF cheating for 10 years and never wanting to have sex in the couple.

Get it, you are equally responsible for that lack of sex?

You mention that maybe he wasn't having sex with you because he was cheating and was protecting you from STDs and HIV.  Well, there is safe sex, so if you believe that « protecting me » shine job, that might say more about your willingness to believe in his kindness. Than his actual care for you. And, Or, if he believes that (I was protecting my bf, slut that I am) than its a crock because its not a reason to stop having sex. Being a slut is a reason to talk about having safe sex. Negotiating limits, etc. Or breaking up and finding a fellow slut to be with.

There was a lack of communication and negotiation, and it continued a long long time. Don't feel bad, its a pretty ordinary thing to happen in many couples.  You gotta accept 1/2 the responsibility here.

Your last two paragraphs, above, about all your «mandates» -  its great and important to set your own limits to what you want in a relationship

but note again those are all limits on his behavior, his freedom, his privacy.   What i am reading, is that you've totally lost trust in this man and are now treating him like your son, if you "also have complete access to his PC, his phone, his voice-mail, his e-mail and the Nanny Cam he does not know is in the house.  I also installed a Key Catcher on his PC.”  Well, actually only a fucked up dad would do this to his child.

I can understand where you are coming from, maybe he needs all that, sex addition and all.  But at the same time, you seem like a control freak.

I hope rather than him going alone to “sex addiction" therapy and you going to your therapy, you two are putting your butts together in front of a good therapist to learn how to relate to each other as grown ups again.

Since this is a forum principally for HIV+ people, I just wanted to say that the title of your thread "How do I stay Negative" starts to sound more complex and loaded than the simple instruction - have safe sex, duh.

Don't infantilize your BF, don't make some hierarchy where he's morally or behaviorally inferior to you.  Or some kind of health threat.   I'm really starting to get that vibe. 

See, those are things you can feel if you break up with him and want to feel better about why.  If you feel burnt or used or something.

But you're staying with this guy. 

Also, consider this:  if he is accepting or wanting or asking to be infantilized, do you really want to be with him? 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Online mecch

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #18 on: April 30, 2010, 05:43:13 PM »
PS, why isn't your partner a member in these forums?  And if he is, your game of the Nanny Cam is up.

Since he has the courage to admit his hurtful actions to you, can we politely ask you to please shut off all that spying material, OR tell him that you are spying, and why.  Its entrapment.  I personally find it repugnant. I'm pretty sure in my country that would be illegal, since the swiss place a high value on respect for privacy and personal integrity.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2010, 05:47:44 PM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Ravhyn

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #19 on: April 30, 2010, 05:47:47 PM »
condoms...condoms....condoms

and i know you don't want any comments

but my husband was a cheater and a player, when we got married i found out as his girlfriend i had been one of three. two nights after we were married he packed his stuff and left to go stay with one of them.  a year later, counseling saved our marriage.  but i don't spy on him, i trust him now.  and i know he is doing good.  counseling can be a wonderful thing. hope things work out for you guys, like it did me and the hubby. 
April 2006 - Sero-Conversion
December 2009 - Diagnosed
Jan 2010- VL 3,800 CD4 152
Summer 2010 VL UD, CD4 over 200
September 2010 VL UD, CD4 324
March 2011 VL UD, CD4 477
May 2011 VL UD, 338

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #20 on: April 30, 2010, 06:37:24 PM »
PS, why isn't your partner a member in these forums?  And if he is, your game of the Nanny Cam is up.

Since he has the courage to admit his hurtful actions to you, can we politely ask you to please shut off all that spying material, OR tell him that you are spying, and why.  Its entrapment.  I personally find it repugnant. I'm pretty sure in my country that would be illegal, since the swiss place a high value on respect for privacy and personal integrity.

It's not entrapment. Entrapment is luring someone into committing a previously or otherwise uncontemplated offence.

Yeesh.

MtD

/edit: removed an extraneous idenfinite article/
« Last Edit: April 30, 2010, 07:45:47 PM by matty.the.damned »

Online mecch

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #21 on: April 30, 2010, 06:57:37 PM »
If you say so  ???

I give you its not luring (2.2) but its definately setting a trap - "you have emotionally abused me again, so now I can dump you."  I'm not sure at this point a one-off would be an emotional abuse of the "wronged" partner. The cheating has been labeled an addition and in such there could be relapses. The trap is to record an "abuse", not to catch a cheat.  Maybe married couples need to hire detectives to prove an infidelity to gain advantages in a desired divorce proceeding.  But this cheater has everything to lose, supposedly, in a divorce. I don't get the spying. Don't get at all the Nanny Cam.

en·trap    (ěn-trāp')  
tr.v.   en·trapped, en·trap·ping, en·traps
   1.   To catch in or as if in a trap.
   2.   1.  To lure into danger, difficulty, or a compromising situation. See Synonyms at catch.
         2.  To lure into performing a previously or otherwise uncontemplated illegal act.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2010, 07:01:02 PM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #22 on: May 03, 2010, 11:40:47 AM »
Mecch:

I appreciate all of your input but it's all armchair psychology and most of it is off-base when applied to reality.

May I ask, Mecch, how you've come by such relationship knowledge?  Have you actually been in this situation?

You might find it interesting to know several things:
1) my partner does, in fact, know about the Nanny Cam; I told him.  He is fine with it.  What good does it do if he knows it's there?  Well, he knows if he decides to cheat again within my home, I will know about it.  It also serves to as an addiction deterant.

2) him providing me with access to all of his e-mail and phone data is a normal part of the reconciliation process for couples who have been through infidelity.  It's about transparency and rebuilding trust.  Read any Infidelity Forum, book on infidelity or speak to a Marriage Counselor, this type of behavior is common and encouraged.  It's not about babysitting; it's about building trust.  http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/reconciliation/trust.asp

3) True, 10 years is a very long time not to have sex and, no, I did not cheat during this 10 year period.  Again, he was depressed, taking care of his bedridden mother and running his own business.  In retrospect, I was naive but, at the time, I thought I was being supportive.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Online mecch

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #23 on: May 03, 2010, 02:16:06 PM »
I mandated that he must be tested for STDs and HIV.  He did so.  I mandated that he was to go into counseling.  He has done so.  He is being treated for sexual addiction.  I am also in therapy.  He also knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that a single hook-up outside of our relationship is grounds for me throwing him out for good.  I   also have complete access to his PC, his phone, his voice-mail, his e-mail and the Nanny Cam he does not know is in the house.  I also installed a Key Catcher on his PC.

You are changing your story. 

Well I'm glad you told him.

Also hope you two sit down together in couples therapy.  Its my personal feeling that you are 100% responsible for a crappy relationship, just as he is 100% responsible.  You still seem to favor putting him in the dog house.

Number 3) is the big place you need to look at yourself, man.  You excuse yourself as naive, and helping, and trying, and supportive.  etc etc.

Yeah yeah yeah I've been there done that and you were basically screwing yourself, letting him abuse you, and abusing him, as well.  Withdraw is passive agressive, man.  Talk to your  shrink about this IN FRONT OF HIM, see what you get.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Bookguy708

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #24 on: May 04, 2010, 08:53:23 AM »
You are changing your story. 

Well I'm glad you told him.

Also hope you two sit down together in couples therapy.  Its my personal feeling that you are 100% responsible for a crappy relationship, just as he is 100% responsible.  You still seem to favor putting him in the dog house.

Number 3) is the big place you need to look at yourself, man.  You excuse yourself as naive, and helping, and trying, and supportive.  etc etc.

Yeah yeah yeah I've been there done that and you were basically screwing yourself, letting him abuse you, and abusing him, as well.  Withdraw is passive agressive, man.  Talk to your  shrink about this IN FRONT OF HIM, see what you get.


WOW!

Pot, meet kettle.  Kettle, meet pot.

Are you so bitter about your situation that this is how you treat others?

For the record, just because I "emptied the contents of my pockets" doesn't mean -- contrary to so-called popular belief -- that you get to comment on everything.

Amazingly, I came to this forum for some information (support?) regarding HIV, not to defend my relationship choices.  What I got was a few good bits of information from those who wish to help but also a healthy dose of a few bitter old queens, like yourself, passing judgement on others because you're so unhappy with yourselves.

I think I'll stick to my Shrink and doctor for the information I need.
HIV-
Partner of 23 years diagnosed HIV+ April 2010

Online mecch

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #25 on: May 04, 2010, 10:11:30 AM »
see below
« Last Edit: May 05, 2010, 05:51:30 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Online mecch

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Re: How Do I Stay Negative?
« Reply #26 on: May 04, 2010, 10:14:32 AM »
Dear, you changed your story, are called out, and now you lash out.

I think its good that you work out your relationship. 

Was giving you things to think about yourself, rather than contributing to vilification of your partner this forum has not had the privilege to hear from.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

 


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