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Author Topic: Herpes Question  (Read 5804 times)

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Offline harj26

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Herpes Question
« on: April 23, 2010, 12:57:19 PM »
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this forum and am trying to learn all that I can about STDs and HIV.  My experiences are VERY LIMITED.  However, the other night, I might a man online, we met up and before I knew it I was sucking on his scrotum for a good 2-3 minutes.  I did NOT suck his penis though.  The only interaction we had was me sucking and licking his scrotum.  I remember looking at his scrotum and not noticing any obvious lesions or sores.  However, I am now worried about the possibility of having contracted Herpes.  Are there any experts in this forum that could possibly tell me whether or not this is a signifcant risk for Oral Herpes Infection.  I am worried because I have 2 babies at home and know that Herpes infection in babies can be deadly and I am terrfied now of being near my babies.  Please HELP Andy or any other experts.
Thank you,
Harj

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2010, 01:11:57 PM »
Harj, this is an HIV specific website. We really don't get into evaluating risk for other STDs. I suggest you discuss this concern with your doctor or any HIV/AIDS service organization in your area.

I will say that commonly if someone is having an outbreak of herpes there will be visible sores on or near the penis, scrotum, ass or mouth. However, in some instances there are no visible sores.

Nothing you did put you at risk for HIV. That's for sure.
Andy Velez

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2010, 01:19:40 PM »
Thank you so much Andy!
Would you know of any forums similar to this that focus on other stds, like herpes??
From your own expertise, would you know if its common to get herpes in this manner?
Thanks
Harj

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2010, 01:46:09 PM »
Andy Velez

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2010, 05:22:42 PM »
I need to add onto my last statement.
When I met this guy online, he also inserted his finger into my ass and I believe it may have had precum on it... I am now terrified of the thought of HIV.  He only had it in there for about 30 seconds, definitely not longer then that?
What is the risk for HIV from that experience.
Please help
Harj

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2010, 05:35:44 PM »
No HIV risk from fingering you ass, even with precum, even with cum.

HIV is transmitted through unprotected vaginal and anal sex.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2010, 05:40:50 PM »
Thank you so much for your answer!!
I'm just really stressed out...  I didn't ask for him to insert his finger into my ass, he just did... And that was immediately after touching his cock and balls (where I know that there was obvious precum on his cock)... So I thought maybe this is a risk... I'm stresssed.  Has anyone ever been infected in such a way?
Is testing even necessary for this???
Harj

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2010, 05:45:24 PM »
The reason I said that it was no risk is precisely because no one has been established to have been infected that way.

HIV is a fragile virus, requiring VERY specific environments in order to infect. These are found in unprotected vaginal and/or anal sex.

Testing is absolutely NOT necessary for this incident.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2010, 07:57:39 PM »
Thanks for your feedback, its much appreciated!!
I was wondering if Andy or any of the other experts agree as well?
I would love any feedback from the Experts, thanks so much.
Harj

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2010, 08:09:34 PM »
How many people do you need to tell you that same thing? No risk and no need for testing.

Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2010, 11:52:10 AM »
Sorry I really didn't mean to offend anyone... Just nervous and anxious and wanted some expert clarification.
Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2010, 01:16:39 PM »
Well fortunately feelings and fears are not facts. And the facts of the situation as you have presented them indicate very clearly that you did not have a risk. Whew!
Andy Velez

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #12 on: June 03, 2010, 08:55:36 PM »
Hi again Andy
Yes, those are the facts:
I sucked his scrotum for maybe a minute or two and then he put his finger in my ass.... that was the entire sexual experience!!
I promise this is my final final question.  so there is no risk from either of these experiences, even if there may have been a small cut on his scrotum or even the precum on his finger that went into my ass... Both are considered 0 risk???
Thanks, and I promise thats it from me.
Thanks a million for everything
Harj

Offline Ann

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2010, 02:05:04 AM »
Harj,

NO! Sucking someone's scrotum, even with cuts present, is not a risk for hiv infection. Being fingered, even with precum, is also not a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2010, 02:07:29 AM »
You know, rather than go down the obviously extensive list of sexual activities that DO NOT facilitate HIV transmission, would it not be easier to list those that ARE considered valid risks for HIV transmission?

Unprotected vaginal and anal sex.

That is all.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2010, 12:30:54 PM »
Hi Everyone
Wow - thank you SO MUCH for helping to ease my mind - you are wonderful!!
I do have a question that I would like answered for 'educational' purposes for any future risks I might put myself in.  Here its been clearly stated that the only HIV risks are unprotected anal and vaginal sex... How about unprotected oral sex?????  For example, if I were to give an hiv + man a blowjob would that not be considered an HIV risk????  Please help clarify this for me, as I am confused about this risk... I thought unprotected oral was a risk, specifically for the person doing the sucking???  I just want to make sure that I always play safe in the future.
Thanks so much.
Harj

Offline harj26

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Andy, Ann, Matty, Jkinatl2 - please advise based on your expert advise
« Reply #16 on: September 01, 2010, 10:27:54 PM »
Hi Again Everyone,

Sorry Matty - I moved back to my original thread - please help me understand my risk - thanks!!

Yesterday, I met a strange man online (stupid idea, I know).  He was much older then me - 45 he said.  I went to his house.  We got naked with each other and engaged in mutual masterbation (masturbation) and very heavy body contact.  I sucked on his testicles through his underwear and also kissed his penis (including the head of the penis) again through his underwear.  I kissed and licked his body ALL OVER and he did the same to me!! I also sucked on his nipples quite hard and even bit on them a little bit (sorry for the graphics here). I did notice some scabs here and there on parts of his body.

It wasn't until I left his place that I realized that I had a very large and very red canker sore in my mouth.  In the last few hours the canker sore has become incredibly painful and swollen.  I am worried that some secretions from his body (i.e. a possible cut on his body with some blood on it, blood from a pimple) or even some precum through his underwear got into my mouth and onto the canker sore - possibly leading to HIV infection.  I thought I was playing safe with what I was doing, especially after my last awful encounter, because there was no direct insertive intercourse (except for me sucking on his balls through his underwear), but now I'm seriously worried and confused.  Should I consider going into the hospital to get PEP???  I am terrified and don't know what to do?   

I called him today and asked him his HIV Status and he completely freaked out on me.   He started yelling at me and acting very rude and abrasive.  Long story short, he told me that he was indeed positive.  However, I'm not sure if he said that only to scare me or if he was serious - his tone was so off that I have no idea whether or not he was being truthful.  But my ultimate fear is that his body secretions got into my canker sore - do you think its possible from what I've described above??  Please help!!

Thanks
Harj

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #17 on: September 02, 2010, 12:20:44 AM »
Hi Again Everyone,

Sorry Matty - I moved back to my original thread - please help me understand my risk - thanks!!

Yesterday, I met a strange man online (stupid idea, I know).  He was much older then me - 45 he said.  I went to his house.  We got naked with each other and engaged in mutual masterbation (masturbation) and very heavy body contact.  I sucked on his testicles through his underwear and also kissed his penis (including the head of the penis) again through his underwear.  I kissed and licked his body ALL OVER and he did the same to me!! I also sucked on his nipples quite hard and even bit on them a little bit (sorry for the graphics here). I did notice some scabs here and there on parts of his body.

It wasn't until I left his place that I realized that I had a very large and very red canker sore in my mouth.  In the last few hours the canker sore has become incredibly painful and swollen.  I am worried that some secretions from his body (i.e. a possible cut on his body with some blood on it, blood from a pimple) or even some precum through his underwear got into my mouth and onto the canker sore - possibly leading to HIV infection.  I thought I was playing safe with what I was doing, especially after my last awful encounter, because there was no direct insertive intercourse (except for me sucking on his balls through his underwear), but now I'm seriously worried and confused.  Should I consider going into the hospital to get PEP???  I am terrified and don't know what to do?   

I called him today and asked him his HIV Status and he completely freaked out on me.   He started yelling at me and acting very rude and abrasive.  Long story short, he told me that he was indeed positive.  However, I'm not sure if he said that only to scare me or if he was serious - his tone was so off that I have no idea whether or not he was being truthful.  But my ultimate fear is that his body secretions got into my canker sore - do you think its possible from what I've described above??  Please help!!

Thanks
Harj

You sucked on his nullas through his undies? No risk.

You jerked off together? No risk.

You chewed on his titties? No risk.

All the other vanilla stuff you did? No risk.

You were not at risk of HIV infection. You do not need to be tested. You certainly do not need PEP.

The canker sore in your mouth makes no difference. You were not at risk of HIV infection.

All of this stuff is simply you going over things you've brought up with us before. Continue down that track with us and you will be timed out or even banned permanently.

Consider yourself warned.

MtD

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #18 on: September 02, 2010, 02:58:55 PM »
Thanks for your reply Matty!

I've played safe ever since the last time I was here on this firum.  But the canker sore really through me for a loop and then after speaking with him, I got really very nervous!!

So this is absolutely 100% safe, what I did?

So the canker sore, and the fact that I brushed 2 hours before this incident make no difference to the risk? 

Last, last question (I promise, no more from me at all - please don't block me for asking this question) - but we engaged in open mouth kissing (I had the canker sore), does that pose any risk (say if he had a cut or anything in his mouth)?

Andy, Ann, do you both agree with this as well - can I move on and never think about testing for this encounter?


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #19 on: September 02, 2010, 03:04:05 PM »
None of the issues you are raising (again) have put you at risk for HIV -- kissing, canker sores, etc.

And I am going to give you the Time Out  you've been warned about. Keep it simple. Use condoms everytime for intercourse and you will be effectively protected against the sexual transmission of HIV.

You now have a Time Out from 28 days. Cut the baloney out and get on with your life.

Andy Velez

Offline harj26

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HIV Ag/Ab Combo Test
« Reply #20 on: October 11, 2010, 04:11:15 PM »
Hi Andy, Matty, Ann and other Experts.

My apologies for being so annoying and persistent in the past with stupid questions.  I've thought a lot during my 28 day timeout and am really sorry!!
I have a quick question about a type of HIV Test.
Its the HIV Ag/Ab (P24 antigen and antibody test) currently being phased in where I live.
Would any of you know if a 29 day and a 38 day negative result with this test can be considered conclusive?
Thank you so much for your help.  I promise I won't bother you anymore.

Harj

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #21 on: October 11, 2010, 06:27:20 PM »
Harj, no matter what test you take, when you have had a risky incident, you still need to get tested at 13 weeks for a final, conclusive negative result.

If you test negative at 6 weeks, in most cases you will likely continue to test negative after that.
Andy Velez

Offline harj26

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I'm Back -Need some Advise from Andy, Ann or Matty
« Reply #22 on: April 02, 2011, 08:58:02 PM »
Hi Everyone,

When I was here last - about 7 months ago, you were instrumental in helping to calm my fears and anxiety.  I adhered to your advise closely and always played safely.  I've never had unprotected anal or oral sex. I always ask a man his status and make an informed decision before playing.  I appreciate all the advise you gave me in the past.  But I'm back now with a new question.

The other night I was with a new man that I just met.  We were at his place.  We got naked and were kissing and just engaging in safe play - mutual JO, some frottage etc.  When he proceeded to some anal-frottage, I put my underwear and a very thin pair of shorts back on.  I just wanted to be safe - I didn't want any of his precum on my actual anus (I know I am seriously safe when I play with anyone).  While he was engaging in the frottage and simulating intercourse outside of me, I felt a small poke.  I have never ever had anal sex before, so don't know what that would feel like.  There was no lube on his penis when I felt the poke.  I'm just wondering if this is of any risk in regards to hiv?  Again, I did have my underwear and a thin pair of shorts on at the time - but is it possible that his penis poked through the cothing and into me enough to cause a risk of HIV infection????  I know this sounds a little obsurd... I just need to know your thoughts on this - is there any risk at all?

Thanks everyone, your advise will be greatly appreciated.
Harj

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I'm Back -Need some Advise from Andy, Ann or Matty
« Reply #23 on: April 02, 2011, 09:14:44 PM »
You must keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and allows us to give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #24 on: April 02, 2011, 09:27:40 PM »
As Matty has pointed out to you, you're supposed to use only the same thread when making additional entries. I've merged your old thread with your newest. Please follow our rule and use only this same thread.

With regard to your having felt a "poke," nothing in what you are reporting would have put you at risk for HIV. Rubbing or a poke with clothes on are not risks. If you had your first experience of anal intercourse you would definitely have felt it and known the difference.

There's no cause for concern nor testing on your part about this incident.   
Andy Velez

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #25 on: April 02, 2011, 09:39:31 PM »
Hi Andy and Matty
Thank you both and my apologies for not returning to my original thread - oppps!!
You guys are awesome here and really have changed how I see sex and the safety by which I play with other men - no matter how hot or horny , I always play safe!!

As I mentioned, I've never had anal sex yet.  So I am right in assuming, if he did put it inside me, then I definitely would have felt it???? 

Thanks again gentlemen, you guys rock!!
Harj

Offline Ann

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #26 on: April 03, 2011, 03:42:35 AM »
harj,

How is he going to penetrate you through two layers of clothing? NOT POSSIBLE!!!

And yes, if you were to be anally penetrated for the first time, you would definitely know about it.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infectin. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #27 on: April 03, 2011, 11:15:19 AM »
Dear Ann

You are a doll - all of you moderators on here are honestly just incredible people :-)  You have no idea how much you've changed my life for the better over the last several months.  After my last incident, and the safe sex messages you delivered to me, I've changed and grown soooooo much!!
I've finally recognized what I really am also - a gay man - and I finally can say that outloud and LOVE myself for that!!  I used to hate myself and think there was something wrong with me - but it was reading through the many responses you have all give to me and to others that has taught me and helped me to come out of that blasted closet :-)  Thanks again to you all - you guys are the best.  Funny, after reading through the many responses you given to other posters I feel like I know you all personally!!

So THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you also for your response to the question I just posted. 
One last question, just so I understand the risk as I move forward. 
One time I met a guy after I had just shaved my face... I don't know if he had also shaved.  While engaging in relations together, he kissed my face and also rubbed his face deeply against mine.  I had a few minor cuts on my face at the time from shaving 2 hours earlier - is this a potential entry way for hiv infection??  Just need to know as I move forward. 

Thanks
harj

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #28 on: April 03, 2011, 11:26:03 AM »
Harj, kissing of any kind including with a face that may have shaving nicks and whatever else, is NOT a risk for HIV transmission. No risk whatsoever.

The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as you consitently use condoms for those two activities you will be well protected against HIV transmission sexually. So keep it simple and use a condom everytime for those.

There's no cause for concern about HIV and kissing. l
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #29 on: April 04, 2011, 08:02:22 AM »
Harj,

That's fantastic news about your acceptance of your sexuality and subsequent coming out of that blasted closet. You put a smile on my face. :) Being gay, bi or straight is just who we were born to be and there is no shame in any of it. Be proud of who you are. I myself identify as bi and yes, I'm proud of who I am. You should be too.

Good luck in the future and remember, use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you understand how to use them correctly. If you don't have a lot of experience using condoms, buy some and practice with them on your own (maybe while watching some porn) so it becomes second nature when you're with someone.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline harj26

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #30 on: April 04, 2011, 04:46:30 PM »
Hi Andy and Ann! Thanks again for your reponses. Yes Ann i couldnt agree with you moe. Its been liberating for me to open the door and tell the world i am a gay proud man. In the process i have lost some family and friends who refuse to accept this part of me. They have simply abandoned me altogether. Thats fine... I believe that one day they will miss me and want me back. Its hard yes to lose these people but I have to be true to me. And so much of what you have both posted on this forum has helped me to better understand that. You guys have been very helpful to me.
Thanks also for the safe sex tips. I will read through your condom and lube link. I know it was a crazy thought for me to think that i could have been anally penetrated with clothing on and not be sure if it happened or not -i know crazy!!!!!! Im still trying to understand the kissing thing. So if i've freshly shaven andhave a few minor knicks on my face and a guy kisses those little cuts or rubs his face against mine,there is absolutely no risk? Please excuse my complete ignorance.
Thanks guys
harj

Offline harj26

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Hiv question
« Reply #31 on: June 26, 2011, 01:38:14 AM »
Hi everyone. I am back. 2 weeks ago I met a guy for the first time. We went back to his place. While there I gave him a protected blowjob - he was wearing a condom. I also sucked on his scrotum for several minutes. While sucking on his scrotum I accidentally bit down on my own tongue... Causing some bleeding on my tongue. Am i at risk because i had his acrotum in my mouth right when i cut my tongue. I now have a severe sore throat andam nervous this could be something like ars developing. Please help. Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #32 on: June 26, 2011, 08:46:55 AM »
You've been coming here long enough to know that the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms consistently for those and you will be well protected. It really is that simple as Ann likes to say.

So your latest concern is of course another non-risk scenario.

You need to start applying what has been said to you in the past instead of running here everytime you have a sexual experience as if nothing has ever been explained to you before. We're not going to endlessly get into rounds of buts and what ifs with you.

Again, this latest concern has no basis in HIV science to be worried about.
Andy Velez

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Re: Herpes Question
« Reply #33 on: June 26, 2011, 09:33:21 AM »
Harj,

As Andy says, you've been coming here long enough to know the answers to your questions.

You are aware, aren't you, that those of us who have hiv do not have the virus running around on the surface of our skin? The virus is in our blood. In men, it is also found in semen (cum) and in women, it is found in the thick mucus that covers the cervix, deep inside the vagina. You're not going to come into contact with the virus by sucking the skin anywhere on our bodies - and that includes scrotums.

Another thing you need to remember is that transmission simply does not happen through the oral route. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. Also, hiv can only infect a very few, very specific types of cells and these cells are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The are also not found on the surface of the skin. This is why hiv is not present on skin.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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