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Author Topic: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...  (Read 4270 times)

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Offline stolibeaux

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  • Posts: 7
  • Stolibeaux and Me
Hey Everyone,

Alrighty, I hope this is in the right part of the forum. I got a message today from my ex-boyfriend after zero communication and 7 years after we both tested HIV+. Its been a fine journey for me, I bounced back and continued to live my life. I guess I don't know how to respond to his message. My first feeling was of Anger, but I don't want to go down that path again. It was dramatic when it happened, i was outed by him to my parents, car was key'd at one point, and just bizarre stuff. It has been 7 years now. I haven't kept up with him at all. Is there a hidden agenda to look for? Some advice would be greatly appreciated.





QUOTE: " May 17 at 7:55pm Report
I just moved back to *** from ****a couple of weeks ago and was driving through **** and you popped in my head. How crazy is it that later that same afternoon, I was checking my FB I somehow I received a friend suggestion for you. ...I just wanted to at least drop a line and say hello and hope you are well.
You have always been in my thoughts. I hate what I did to you and your family, and words cannot express how awful I feel for all of the of the trouble I caused you. I need to tell you that everything was all my fault. I was so naive those years ago and my mistake was at your expense. I am so deeply sorry for what it did to you. Thank you for the kind words that you sent me over a year ago. I was not sure how to respond to your email before, because was in shock that I got a message from you. At that time I was a loss for words but now there is no way I could go through life without at least telling you how I feel directly from me. I hope I can see you one day again and catch up, take care. -*****"

Input is greatly appreciated.  ???
You never know until you ask.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2010, 10:51:22 PM »
Probably Living With is the better place for this. I'm sure a moderator will move it for you should it be deemed necessary.

MtD

Offline anniebc

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2010, 10:53:14 PM »
If you don't want to take up from where you left off then politely thank him for his apology, tell him you have moved on and all is well. then tell him it's time for him to move on also.

If you want to see him again..well then I guess you name the time and place.

Ultimately it's down to you, we don't know how you feel about him so really it's your decision..good luck.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline next2u

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2010, 10:58:12 PM »
im sold. talk to the bastard if you can keep your wits about you. he did you wrong...but life goes on. be cautious of red flags and allow for communication.

but, if he's crazy and it ended bad...keep on trucking. its your life, trust your feelings (not your hormones) and act accordingly.

oh, keep us posted.

best,
d

midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2010, 10:59:47 PM »
Where in the note does it say he wants to reconcile?

It may just be an attempt to reach out and apologize for the way he treated you.

I treated my ex kinda shitty at times, and it took me 9 years to realize it. Ive wanted to reach out and address it with him, but not necessarily reconcile with him.

-Will

Edited to add: I read "reconcile" as getting back together, that may not be how you meant it. :)
« Last Edit: May 17, 2010, 11:02:13 PM by WillyWump »
POZ since '08

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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2010, 11:02:17 PM »
I'd tell him to fuck off, but that's just me.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline edfu

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  • Posts: 1,084
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2010, 11:15:03 PM »
I'd tell him that I'm grateful for his apology, and that it's accepted, but for my own mental health it would be best that we not get together. 
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline next2u

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  • Posts: 1,761
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2010, 11:16:20 PM »
wow...
so y'all don't give people the benefit of the doubt. what about time heals most wounds? what about the far fetched but still possible possibility of change?

midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline edfu

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2010, 11:20:28 PM »
Time may heal most wounds, but wisdom tells you not to place yourself in the line of fire again. 
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline next2u

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2010, 11:34:40 PM »
i can't do that. we make educated choices and follow our instincts. sometimes it's good to walk away, sometimes it's good to return.

he didn't say they were gonna jump back into a romantic relationship. and yeah, the dude was an ass and that should weigh heavily upon the decision. but i'm sure there were good times and history there as well.

as long as those good time don't involve crack and robbery (or other grave ills) we might be all good.

best,
d
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline fearless

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2010, 12:47:53 AM »
Run
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline mecch

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2010, 04:28:33 AM »
Something missing in your original post that is revealed in your ex's note -  YOU WROTE to him a year ago. 

About what? For what?

I guess if you want some kind of new relationship with your ex, as some kind of friend, why not see him.

Or just be happy you got the sincere apology, and keep him in the past.

DO NOT contact him to rehash old business and/or make him grovel about his bad actions because his letter is clear, he takes responsibility.

Personally I think it always takes two to tango and two to fuck up a relationship that badly.  But yeah, hes soley responsible for the keying, the blabbing, etc. etc.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline bocker3

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2010, 07:46:12 AM »
When you come on the internet and ask strangers to help you decide how to handle your relationships, it says to me that you know your shouldn't do it, but you want to.  You are looking for someone to tell you to go for it, when deep down you know this is a bad set up.

Are you happier now (or before you got this message) than you were 7 years ago??  Listen to your inside voice and walk away.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline next2u

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  • Posts: 1,761
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2010, 07:50:57 AM »
my inside voice is a fat man. i try not to listen to him right before summer.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Cliff

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2010, 09:36:08 AM »
He apologised, which is good.  I would accept it and finally close the door on what happened 7 years ago.  Whether you keep in touch in the future is up to you.  If the break up was as bad as you say, I'm not sure I would want to go back down that road again.  Property damage and outing folks is out-of-line in my book and the fact that he went there says this isn't someone I want to be around, when things go sour.

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2010, 09:49:01 AM »
Dear ex-boyfriend,

What a surprise to hear from you! After so many years an apology isn't necessary but I do appreciate it. Everything has been going great for me and I hope you are also well. I guess time has demonstrated our relationship wasn't good for either of us. Take care and feel free to friend me on Facebook.

Sincerely,

Stolibeau

Offline stolibeaux

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2010, 10:12:48 AM »
These are all real colorful replies.

@Mecch-i sent him a simple message on his MySpace checking to see how he was doing? We had several friends in common and he just disappeared. Now he's back.

@GSOgymrat-sounds more of what I would say except the Facebook ad. I have family and close friends that would want to be malicious towards him.

@bocker3- I follow what your saying.

I'm still thinking of how to reply to his message or not reply at all. He moved back to the same city as me and its inevitable that we will run into each other sooner or later. So I want to keep it a less dramatic of an encounter as possible. I do not think we'd ever pursue a relationship again because the first was sooo volatile. I just feel that this person wouldn't contact me unless they had an agenda. Be it closer? Be it because we are now back in the same city? Be it that he's not in the best health? I dunno ,but I really don't want to ask him why he's contacting me. He is a bit on the crazy unpredictable side, or was back then.

So my question is what would you reply back or would you even reply back at all?

 I could just take this at face value and if I run into him out and about, I could just deny reading his message. Kinda go for the self preservation mode.



You never know until you ask.

Offline Cliff

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #17 on: May 18, 2010, 10:32:34 AM »
I would respond.  Someone has reached out to you to apologise for their actions.  It doesn't hurt to  acknowledge and accept it.  But that's about it.  Ignoring his note probably would just make things more awkward should you run into each other in town....and frankly you sent him a note, so presumably you should have expected that he would eventally reach out to you.  To now ignore his note would seem odd.

I wouldn't speculate as to his motives, if you leave little room for him to establish a relationship (friendship or otherwise) with you, it doesn't matter what his motives are.

GSO's note seems perfect to me (sans the facebook bit).

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2010, 02:32:51 PM »
The only reason I included Facebook is because he brought it up and, for me, Facebook is the least intimate form of communication I can think of. If you are an active Facebook user I can understand not "friending" him.

Offline red_Dragon888

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  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2010, 02:49:57 PM »
Run
Run like the wind...   ;)

I had an ex and we haven't communicated for ten years, but when we finally did talk, I did feel for him, and he was my first bf. Then I remembered how he really was and how I grew emotionally, mentally and all that good stuff so the thought to get back with him was not possible.  I guess you are thinking the same thing... do I want to take the chance again, do I really trust that it will work this time, or am I just living in a dream world. The problem isn't if you should make contact for you are older and wiser and know better not to be treated badly even again. The problem is are you willing to take the chance and meet him again and see if you have changed enough not to make the same mistake again. Hell, life is an adventure and why not enjoy the ride. OR send him this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I


First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me
« Last Edit: May 18, 2010, 06:05:36 PM by red_Dragon888 »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

ďNeither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #20 on: May 18, 2010, 04:39:41 PM »
wow...
so y'all don't give people the benefit of the doubt. what about time heals most wounds? what about the far fetched but still possible possibility of change?



Uh, Mary... haven't you figured out that your views towards relationships don't particularly work?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #21 on: May 18, 2010, 04:41:00 PM »
When you come on the internet and ask strangers to help you decide how to handle your relationships, it says to me that you know your shouldn't do it, but you want to.  You are looking for someone to tell you to go for it, when deep down you know this is a bad set up.

exactly
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Cliff

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #22 on: May 18, 2010, 05:41:20 PM »
Uh, Mary... haven't you figured out that your views towards relationships don't particularly work?
  :)

Offline anniebc

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  • AM member since 2003
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #23 on: May 18, 2010, 06:35:12 PM »

So my question is what would you reply back or would you even reply back at all?


We can't tell you what to write because we really don't know how you feel about all this...but I think it's polite to ackowledge his apology, so some kind of reply would be nice...then do what Miss P and Fearless told you to do... ;)

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline fearless

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2010, 08:10:30 PM »
The fact that he was on Myspace and then disappeared for a year says he still has issues.

Do as GSO and Cliff have suggested, acknowledge his apology but that's it.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Rev. Moon

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  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2010, 08:53:15 PM »
i was outed by him to my parents, car was key'd at one point, and just bizarre stuff.


Delete.  Hit that button and just forget about it.  Anyone who was capable of being that malicious does not deserve your time or energy.  Wondering about the "what ifs" and the "should I's" will do nothing for you.   You have moved on; continue to do so. 
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline stolibeaux

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  • Stolibeaux and Me
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2010, 08:57:38 PM »
This is what I wrote:

Wow, what a surprise to hear from you! After so many years an apology isn't necessary but I do appreciate it. Everything has been going great for me. I hope you are also well. I guess time has demonstrated our relationship wasn't good for either of us. Take care too.

Thanks for all the help. Trust me. I just wanted to keep it simple and I didn't want anything to do with this guy. He had an unpredictable and unstable personality back then. I would find it hard to believe if anything has really changed. This was just for the sake of running into him here and there.
You never know until you ask.

Online leatherman

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2010, 09:00:22 PM »
Anyone who was capable of being that malicious does not deserve your time or energy.
I totally agree!

really, even though I agree the OP doesn't need to allow this hateful, spiteful, perhaps dangerous person back into his life (people that LOVE you do not out you to ruin your life, or key your car. Those are the actions of a childish, revengeful mind), I really just wanted to comment so that I could say how much I love your crazy avatar, rev moon. Pizza! Word! :D

I just wanted to keep it simple and I didn't want anything to do with this guy. He had an unpredictable and unstable personality back then.
good move! you're smart to see the problem that was there and probably is still there  ;)
« Last Edit: May 18, 2010, 09:02:01 PM by leatherman »
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline GNYC09

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #28 on: May 18, 2010, 09:04:42 PM »
This is what I wrote:

Wow, what a surprise to hear from you! After so many years an apology isn't necessary but I do appreciate it. Everything has been going great for me. I hope you are also well. I guess time has demonstrated our relationship wasn't good for either of us. Take care too.

Thanks for all the help. Trust me. I just wanted to keep it simple and I didn't want anything to do with this guy. He had an unpredictable and unstable personality back then. I would find it hard to believe if anything has really changed. This was just for the sake of running into him here and there.

Hello?  An apology isn't necessary after he keyed your car and outed you to your family?  :(

He may be a different person than he was 7 years ago but why risk finding out.  You deserve better than that.  

Offline GNYC09

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #29 on: May 18, 2010, 09:07:00 PM »
I really just wanted to comment so that I could say how much I love your crazy avatar, rev moon. Pizza! Word! :D
Hilarious! ;D ;D
I've just spent 10 minutes reading it!  :D

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #30 on: May 19, 2010, 12:07:34 AM »

This is what I wrote:

Wow, what a surprise to hear from you! After so many years an apology isn't necessary but I do appreciate it. Everything has been going great for me. I hope you are also well. I guess time has demonstrated our relationship wasn't good for either of us. Take care too.

Thanks for all the help. Trust me. I just wanted to keep it simple and I didn't want anything to do with this guy. He had an unpredictable and unstable personality back then. I would find it hard to believe if anything has really changed. This was just for the sake of running into him here and there.
Glad we could help. I wouldn't respond to any more of his emails.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #31 on: May 19, 2010, 01:17:58 AM »
I apparently missed all the action but yeah, leave him in the dust.


Next2u, I'm gonna have to get out the rolled up newspaper and brandish every time you post, aren't I?

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #32 on: May 19, 2010, 01:52:17 PM »
Uh, Mary... haven't you figured out that your views towards relationships don't particularly work?

I was thinking the same thing but I am not exactly the Pied Piper of relationships either.....

If someone outed me or it got physical, it would make me ponder. I guess it just really depends on the situation. Sometimes you can forgive but not forget and still move on with your life. You could do the tit for tat thing, get some momentary pleasure. But then you'd prolly be thinking that you'd have to watch your back waiting for some type of retaliation. The letter sounds like the way to go but make it clear that you no longer want anything to do with him romantically or otherwise if that is how you feel. You know be a bitch without being a bitch.... ;D Though being a bitch can be fun at times.
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Offline stolibeaux

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #33 on: May 19, 2010, 08:59:37 PM »
and just a brief follow up.... he didn't respond, so I believe the message was clear.  :)
You never know until you ask.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #34 on: May 19, 2010, 10:30:05 PM »
and just a brief follow up.... he didn't respond, so I believe the message was clear.  :)

Yes, apparently it was. Good for you! :)

-Will
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.

Offline mecch

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #35 on: May 20, 2010, 12:24:06 AM »
1  Wow, what a surprise to hear from you! After so many years an apology isn't necessary but I do appreciate it.

2  Everything has been going great for me.

3  I hope you are also well.

4  I guess time has demonstrated our relationship wasn't good for either of us.

5  Take care too.

1 -  I like these, more or less, but aren't you actually saying - an apology WAS necessary?

2 - This might be a kind of schadenfreude, in like of the 3 and the "I hope"...  Or maybe it really is you wishing him well?? cool

4 - Time didn't demonstrate that - you both realised the relationship was a black hole when you got to the end of it, years ago.

5 - in face he hoped to "catch up" but you didn't respond specifically to this request.

Overall I'd say the response is overthought (like my comments here) but also clever enough as you say since you might have to say hello around town some day and this makes it clear there is really no opening for a relaunch of some kind of relationship. Let alone catching up...   I probably would have gone for the jugular and said - "no need to catch up" after the "my life is great" line.  :D

« Last Edit: May 20, 2010, 12:26:43 AM by mecch »
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline bocker3

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #36 on: May 20, 2010, 07:57:22 AM »
1 -  I like these, more or less, but aren't you actually saying - an apology WAS necessary?

2 - This might be a kind of schadenfreude, in like of the 3 and the "I hope"...  Or maybe it really is you wishing him well?? cool

4 - Time didn't demonstrate that - you both realised the relationship was a black hole when you got to the end of it, years ago.

5 - in face he hoped to "catch up" but you didn't respond specifically to this request.

Overall I'd say the response is overthought (like my comments here) but also clever enough as you say since you might have to say hello around town some day and this makes it clear there is really no opening for a relaunch of some kind of relationship. Let alone catching up...   I probably would have gone for the jugular and said - "no need to catch up" after the "my life is great" line.  :D



Why must you dissect everything -- the value is????
The message is sent, how about a nice "good job" at doing something he was clearly struggling with instead of picky it apart and giving unhelpful commentary on A message THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN SENT. 

Mike
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Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
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Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #37 on: May 20, 2010, 10:10:17 AM »
Why must you dissect everything -- the value is????
The message is sent, how about a nice "good job" at doing something he was clearly struggling with instead of picky it apart and giving unhelpful commentary on A message THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN SENT. 

Mike

It's a forum we're here to discuss and everyone is different.  If he wasn't commenting on the thread it would just die.  Let us cold emotionless analytical types be!

Now, About your last message, how is your relationship with your...(insert turbulent relative here)?

Offline Florida69

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Re: Ex wants to reconcile after 7 years of no communication...
« Reply #38 on: May 20, 2010, 11:59:01 AM »
This is what I wrote:
Wow, what a surprise to hear from you! After so many years an apology isn't necessary but I do appreciate it. Everything has been going great for me. I hope you are also well. I guess time has demonstrated our relationship wasn't good for either of us. Take care too.


I think this was the smart thing to do, since he was unstable 7 years ago, we have learned that a tiger never really changes their stripes.  I had a similar situation last year, and I handled it very similarly..  Good for you... D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

 


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