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Author Topic: sex with a stripper  (Read 9420 times)

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Offline fishstx

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sex with a stripper
« on: April 13, 2010, 04:17:28 PM »
About a week ago I visited a local allnude club. One girl offered a dance and I took it. Halfway through she pulls out a condom and asks if I want to have sex. Stupid me. I said yes. We used her condom and she asked for a "tip" of course. Ive never done anything like that before and now I'm incredibly worried. If you were me, would you get tested? The wait is so incredibly long and my anxiety is killing me. Please tell me what I can do.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2010, 06:48:46 PM »
Why stupid? From what I can tell you had protected sex which, far from being stupid, is very sensible.

Using a condom for anal or vaginal sex will protect you against HIV and other sexually transmissible diseases. You are worrying needlessly, you were not at risk of HIV infection and you do not need to be tested.

If you're feeling guilty about paying for sexual services, well that's a matter for you. Personally I don't see why you would feel guilty about that.

Please read our  Welcome Thread and follow the links to our lessons on HIV transmission.

MtD

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2010, 09:42:30 PM »
There's just so much vague and contradictory information out there. Its difficult to tell what you can or cant hang your hat on. I realize my behavior was low risk. But could it really be no risk?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2010, 08:07:00 AM »
Do yourself a big favor and stop surfing the net because I can promise you that you will only find so-called information that will feed your worst fears.

This is the bottom line. Sexually the only confirmed risks for the transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. All of the other sexual activities are only theoretically risky, but in the real world of HIV we know that it's about unprotected intercourse. Use condoms consistently and you won't have a problem with HIV.

Other STDs are much easier to acquire so if you are sexually active we recommend that at least once a year you have a full STD panel done just as a precaution.

Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2010, 08:47:34 AM »
There are institutions in the world that when asked a question, will give an answer and when questioned again will dismiss the asker. I don't mean to insult or create a problem with my question but with all the various information out there,  what makes you all so sure your right? I'm sure that comes off bad when you read it. But I ask the question humbly. How is my situation no risk, when it is stated that condoms aren't 100% effective? Ive seen the response this sort of question usually gets. But I'm through being negligent with my life and I cant afford not to scrutinize. Even so I assure you, I do it with respect and humility. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2010, 09:01:49 AM »
As long as they are worn properly and don't break, condoms have proven to be very effective against HIV transmission. The only sex that is 100% safe is you using your own hand on yourself. Otherwise anything involving another person at least theoretically carries some risk.

Consequently we say condoms provide very effective protection and are 99.9% effective.

We're speaking here from science and experienced based information and decades of experience in the epidemic. We put information out as clearly as possible. You can accept what we say or not. That's up to you.
Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2010, 09:54:38 PM »
I see your point. I really meant no disrespect. Thank you Mr Velez.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2010, 08:31:27 AM »
You're welcome.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2010, 06:49:01 PM »
I Apologize in advance for this. I was doing fine then had a bout with paranoia. So I came back to this thread to reassure myself. I followed a different thread and found Ann's link to Condom Info. This did little to assuage my fears. The numbers on the page weren't near 99.9%. What details am I missing in that information that could put me back on top of this?  And once again I apologize if I'm being irrational.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2010, 07:02:13 PM »
I don't know what you read that set you off again because I don't see anything in the lube/condom link that has anything different from what we have already told you.

Condoms do provide very effective protection. You have no cause for concern.

But if you find you just can't let go of the fear about your incident, then get tested and collect the inevitable negative result. I have to tell you that we are not here to hold your hand everytime you have another burst of fear about HIV. You didn't have a risk. Period.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2010, 08:28:22 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2010, 01:00:32 AM »
I have a new question. Ive read several other threads and noticed the moderators tend to agree that hiv is more difficult to pass from a woman to a man as opposed to the other way around. Why is that? I wonder why one partner would be at less risk than the other.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2010, 06:23:28 AM »
The surface area of exposure is smaller in a male than a female.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2010, 08:10:00 AM »
The vagina offers a perfect setting for HIV. With men the area is much smaller and difficult for transmission, it being only through the urethra and under the foreskin of the penis if the man is not circumcised.
Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2010, 08:13:50 AM »
So does that mean that the insertive partner is ALWAYS at less risk? This brings up another question. If receptive partners are at greater risk, how do most men become infected, by needle use, or by being unprotected receptive partners themselves?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2010, 08:19:14 AM »
I don't like to use a term like "always," but yes, in general the insertive partner is at less risk. Why do men get infected? Because lower risk is not the same as no risk. And in Africa for instance where there is a high infection rate, many of the men are not circumcised. And of course needle sharing and men having unprotected anal with men play a significant role in the infection rate.
Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2010, 01:57:03 AM »
Wow, it sure seems like there's a lot of information that isn't very prevalent outside of communities like this one. I suppose the powers that be feel it best to error on the side of caution when it comes to matters like these. I was also thinking, that since ive read that the virus is fragile, it makes you wonder why a cure hasn't presented itself yet.

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2010, 08:43:36 AM »
Can someone clarify what serodiscordant means? Is it the same or opposite of seroconversion? Thank you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2010, 08:54:13 AM »
Serodiscordant refers to a couple in which one is HIV negative (sero-negative) and the other is HIV positive (sero-positive).
Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #18 on: May 03, 2010, 08:03:36 PM »
Can someone tell me if its possible for a condom to fail without breaking or slipping off?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #19 on: May 03, 2010, 09:35:10 PM »
Can someone tell me if its possible for a condom to fail without breaking or slipping off?
No it is not possible.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #20 on: May 03, 2010, 10:13:40 PM »
It's very clear when a condom has failed because it ends up looking like a fringed hoop on the penis. It's not about eensy weensie little holes as people sometimes imagine and fear. It's obvious when it happens.
Andy Velez

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #21 on: May 18, 2010, 04:02:24 PM »
Okay, I really need help here.
Its been six weeks since the incident. So I decided to prove you guys right and go for what was supposedly an unecessary test. Well I show up at the local aids clinic and give them the exact same story I gave you in my first post. The counselor said I did a very stupid thing and put myself at "very real risk". I proceeded in an attempt to parrot what ive learned on this site and he rolled his eyes and said "whoever told you that is irrisponsible and obviously doesnt know anything about the epidemic". He was resolved not to test me but I insisted and He said "Your just gonna have to come back at three months anyway, But if you want to get your hopes up fine". So they drew a vile of blood and told me to call back in two weeks to see if my results are in. Needless to say, I'm now quite frustrated, confused, and nervous. I certainly dont mean to be a pain to you guys, But could you respond to this in any way? I really would appreciate it.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #22 on: May 18, 2010, 04:07:05 PM »
   Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #23 on: May 18, 2010, 04:29:25 PM »
I suppose that if I had trolled the internet trying to scare myself or even sat at home stewing over the situation and spent two or three days a week for the past six weeks posting on this site, I might understand your reaction Rod. But Ive come to you today with information given to me at a clinic. In other words I was fine until someone that works closely in this field shook me. So how would that be exsessive? I havent had a conclusive negative result and according to someone that is an apparent peer of yours in this field my situation would not be cattegorized as "No Risk". Give me a timeout or ban me if you must. But you cant deny that theres a connundrum here. And a response like yours doesnt present as comppassionate or eager to inform. My question stands.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2010, 04:33:20 PM »
What part of you didn't have a risk is it that you don't understand that has been told over and over to you?

Effectiveness of Condoms
Condoms are classified as medical devices and are regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Condom manufacturers in the United States test each latex condom for defects, including holes, before it is packaged. The proper and consistent use of latex or polyurethane (a type of plastic) condoms when engaging in sexual intercourse,vaginal, anal, or oral, can greatly reduce a person's risk of acquiring or transmitting sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV infection.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2010, 04:35:42 PM by RapidRod »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2010, 04:36:26 PM »
Rod is quite correct to give you a warning about your breaches of our posting guidelines.

I am not going to get into an extended exchange with you about what the counsellor at your AIDS clinic is alleged to have told you.

I will say that we stand by the advice you've been given in this thread 100%. Condoms provide excellent protection against HIV infection. You had protected sex and you were not at risk of HIV infection.

Whether you choose to believe us or not is a matter for you.

MtD

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2010, 04:44:25 PM »
To answer Rod. The part I didnt understand is where the guy with the testing needle in my arm is contradicting what I've been told here. Your link however, clarified some things.
Matty. Thanks for at least typing a response. I'm going to assume that the clinic I visited chooses to error on the side of irrational caution. Please understand that I too, hod no desire to get into any kind of back and forth on the matter. Thats why I provided all the information i could about today's visit. I simply wanted and answer. Thank You, I'll be silent now. Voluntarily.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2010, 08:29:57 PM »
That's good. It's time for you to move along and get on with your life. Happily, HIV is not your problem and if you always use condoms it won't be a problem.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2010, 09:12:10 AM »
Fish,

You should understand that health care workers are human just like any one of us. Human beings are prone to letting their personal feelings colour all their interactions, even when they are in a professional setting.

I'm willing to bet that the person you spoke to told you you were at significant risk simply because of who you had sex with - a sex worker. In other words, he made a moral judgement when he should have made a scientific judgement. According to the science of hiv transmission, you were NOT at risk for infection.

Hiv risks have NOTHING to do with who you have sex with or what they do for a living. Hiv risks are all about HOW you have sex. As long as you are using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, then you could have sex with as many people as you like from what ever walk of life, and you'd still be well protected against hiv infection. It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it. Make sure you get those letters (o, h and w) in the right order when you think about your sexual risks.

And remember, it's not just sex workers you need to use condoms with, it's ANYONE until such time as you're in a monogamous relationship where you have both tested negative TOGETHER. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever. If you consent to intercourse without a condom, you are also consenting to being infected with hiv or other STI.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2010, 03:06:33 PM »
Wow Ann, Those are some really good points. I guess I just assumed that the person at the clinic was going to be well informed and stick to the facts. I was under the impression that since he likely worked on this everyday, he would be straightforward and unbiased. But what your saying makes good sense. The people working in the clinics everyday should really be the ones getting their facts straight. Thank you. 1 week and six days till a negative result.

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #30 on: June 01, 2010, 10:29:05 AM »
Six week Elisa test = non reactive! Might follow up with a 12 week. But I consider this good news.

Offline Ann

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #31 on: June 01, 2010, 10:31:30 AM »
Fish,

No big surprise there, as you were NOT at risk for hiv infection. Your result is not going to change in relation to this incident of protected intercourse.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #32 on: June 01, 2010, 01:51:22 PM »
I agree.  But I neglected to mention that the counselor at the clinic said that I should have a complete panel done at three and six months for other sti's. Apparently there are some other infections that test out to three and six months. I just figured that since this is an hiv site, no one would be concerned with that info. But I must say thank you to you all. Everyone should have access to the information you all provide.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #33 on: June 01, 2010, 01:54:02 PM »
Again they gave you incorrect information if that was indeed what they said.

Offline Ann

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #34 on: June 01, 2010, 02:04:50 PM »
Fish,

Syphilis shares a THREE month testing window with hiv. THREE months, not six. THREE.

Most of the other STIs can be tested for between ten days and two weeks or sooner if symptoms, like a discharge, occur.

But yes, this site is hiv specific. We really only focus on hiv.

And you, sir, do NOT have hiv. You never had a risk in the first place.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fishstx

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #35 on: June 01, 2010, 02:14:21 PM »
Thanks Ann, yes syphilis was one of the sti's mentioned. So ill need to go back at three months for that. And he told me that hep C was six months. I didn't even know hep C was an sti. But yes Rod, he did mention that. I'm not lying. But thanks again.

Offline Ann

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Re: sex with a stripper
« Reply #36 on: June 01, 2010, 02:47:10 PM »
Fish,

You also were not at risk for hep C during your protected encounter. I'm beginning to think this counsellor is winding you up - and perhaps trying to teach you a lesson by frightening you. Re-read what I said to you in reply #28.

Hep C is rarely transmitted through unprotected vaginal intercourse - and it's unheard of when a condom is used. Sexually speaking, hep C can sometimes be transmitted during unprotected anal intercourse or fisting - when there is damage to the anus/rectum.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fishstx

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listen to these guys.
« Reply #37 on: June 29, 2010, 10:24:27 PM »
Thank you Andy, Ann, Matty, and Rod. I took my 12 week oraquick test today. And of course it came back negative. And to anyone reading this that might be going through a scare, listen to these moderators. They know what they're talking about. Feel free to delete my account as I wont be coming back. And thank you for the priceless service you provide.

 


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