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Author Topic: Worried sick..  (Read 4005 times)

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Offline noizuz

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Worried sick..
« on: April 11, 2010, 08:44:04 AM »
Hi..

I was wondering whether anyone can help me? I had unprotected vaginal sex with a Chinese Massage lady. I had sex with her twice which was on the 8th and 10th of March. On the 11th of March I had a fever and some sweats. Because I panicked and did not know what to do on the 19th of March I went for a blood test and it was confirmed negative for HIV and Hepatits. However the unexplained fever, joint paints, still persisted. I had to take paracetamol nearly four hours to bring the fever down. The fever was not that heavy, it was quite mild but discomforting. I also had some strange feeling in my stomach moving from left to right. My arms went a bit weak, right arm then left arm and I developed some whitish stuff on my tounge, not sure whether it was trush. I also had some bits of humps on my neck which disappeared whenever my fever went down. However, on the 11th April, all these symptoms suddenly went away unexpectedly. I am now worried sick as I have read from some reports that HIV symptoms persists for a few weeks and then go away. The whitish thing on my tounge is not that much anymore. The fever has gone down and barely distinguishable. I have no more joint paints. I really regretted what I have done and wish to start over again. During the intercourse with the Massage Lady I gave cunnilingus on her too. I did used a condom but only for a while because she took it off which I regretted badly. I am circumsised and after we finished I immediately washed it off. However, I understand that HIV can pass through Vaginal fluids. As I do not have anyone to talk too I hope anyone can help me with this...I feel like I want to kill myself..I am soo scared..

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2010, 09:07:14 AM »
There is nothing HIV-specific about the symptoms which you are reporting. And ARS would not come on as quickly as what you experienced.

Having unprotected vaginal (and anal) intercourse are the only two confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV. So you do need to get tested for HIV. You can get a conclusive result at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident.

In your favor are that HIV is not an easy virus to transmit and it is significantly more difficult to transmit from female to male.  The odds are that you will test negative.

But you do need to learn from this experience. You can have intercourse with anyone you like but you must do it the safer way. That means using a condom everytime for intercourse. No exceptions. It doesn't matter what you think you know about the person's history. Use a condom and you will be well protected.

Good luck with your test.
Andy Velez

Offline noizuz

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2010, 07:52:00 AM »
Thanks for the reply Andy..

I dont know whether it is trush or not..but there are some whitish stuff on my tounge. Today I also felt some mild fever coming along.

I was wondering whether these symptoms that I have been going through for the past one week can suddenly go 'missing' abruptly? I am now trying to calm myself down after going through this forum. I still have a few more weeks to go before I go for my blood test again..I feel that I can't concentrate on my job and feeling depressed and stupid over what I did... :'(

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2010, 08:46:29 AM »
Even if you have thrush, that is not an HIV-specific occurence. A doctor would have to diagnose that for you. Nothing you are reporting symptomatically is suggestive of HIV, which I have already said to you before this.

You're just in the HIV jitters headspace where now you are mis-interpreting everything that happens to you as ANOTHER SIGN. They're not. Your risk was low. You can if you wish do an initial test at 6 weeks. Assuming you test negative at that point then the likelihood is that you will test negative again at 13 weeks for your final all-clear. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days.

You need to make a real effort to focus on other things in your life instead of looking for signs and beating up on yourself. And don't bother saying you're too worried to do that because I can tell you that response is not going to fly here.

As I have said before, the odds are that you will test negative.

Cheers.

Andy Velez

Offline noizuz

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2010, 09:06:04 AM »
Hi Andy,

Thanks for your response...It is just that I am panicking at the slightest fever or rash that I see. I will go and do the test after six weeks and report it here. I am sorry for being a nuisance but I feel that I have no one to talk to regarding this problem..

Thank you  ( :-[

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2010, 09:23:38 AM »
Hi Andy,

Thanks for your response...It is just that I am panicking at the slightest fever or rash that I see. I will go and do the test after six weeks and report it here. I am sorry for being a nuisance but I feel that I have no one to talk to regarding this problem..

Thank you  ( :-[

Noizuz,

I agree with Andy. You have had a risk and you need to be tested, but the odds are very good that you will test negative.

If you are having difficulty coping with the wait, I suggest you use your time productively.

Don't surf the internet searching for information about HIV.

Do read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our lessons on HIV testing and transmission.

Don't examine your body for every little lump, bump and rash.

Do get on with your daily routine. You'll be surprised how quickly the time passes.

MtD

Offline noizuz

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2010, 06:45:57 AM »
Thanks Andy and Matty,

I might have irritated u guys by being worried unnecessarily, but I have no one to talk or share my problems with... :'(

I will hopefully be able to go for testing at the end of next week...as suggested by Andy.. At the moment I have sore throat..I hope its not a sign of worse things to come... :'(

Thanks for the advice..

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2010, 08:18:43 AM »
Unfortunately right now your mind is busily misinterpreting everything that happens to you physically through an HIV jitters mindset, i.e. your sore throat.

Just go ahead with your test. I still expect you to test negative.

Andy Velez

Offline noizuz

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #8 on: April 16, 2010, 07:11:46 AM »
Thanks very much Andy.. I only hope that the weeks can past by fast and quickly in order for me to go for the test...

Have fever again..and sorethroat... :o

Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2010, 08:41:11 AM »
See your doctor about the fever, etc. Those are not HIV-specific, but you actually already know that.

And once again I will say that I expect you to test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline noizuz

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2010, 05:29:38 AM »
thanks Andy, I will...

Hopefully i will test negative when I see the doctor in a few weeks time. I would not know how I could have stayed sane without discovering this forums. At least u guys try to allay my fears a little..

Again..thanks

P/S Pain on the right abdomen is it a hiv symptom? Thanks.. :)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2010, 05:34:31 AM »
P/S Pain on the right abdomen is it a hiv symptom? Thanks.. :)

Or is it a symptom of appendicitis?

MtD

Offline noizuz

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2010, 09:33:40 AM »
Hi Matty,

That's what I am feeling now...before it was all the fever which disappeared suddenly after having it for a month..then I have sore throat...there is a lot of whitish stuff on my tongue.. and today I am having some pain on my right abdomen..I dont know what is wrong with me.

I was thinking of checking that but before I go for my blood test I am afraid to go to any doctor's...In my place if they know you're HIV+ you'll loose your job and reputation... That is why I did not know where to go to discuss my problems..

Thanks for listening (reading) guys...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2010, 09:46:40 AM »
We can't diagnose any symptoms here. If you are having pain you should check that out with your doctor.
Andy Velez

Offline noizuz

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2010, 08:22:09 AM »
Hi again guys..

I know u will be fuming mad at me for asking this..was wondering whether having sore throat and fever is an incoming sign of Hiv...

Im just wondering..Thanks... :-[

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2010, 08:32:26 AM »
No, we're not fuming mad. There's just nothing to be said about those symptoms because neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status.

The only way you can know your status is by getting tested. You're very close to 6 weeks post your incident so you can do an initial test at that point. Assuming you get the negative result which I think is likely, it virtually guarantees you will test negative again for a final result at 13 weeks.

Right now you are anxiously seeing everything that happens to you physically as another sign of infection. That's a mistake on your part. Testing is the only way to know.

Andy Velez

Offline noizuz

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  • Posts: 10
Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2010, 09:42:28 AM »
Hi guys..

I had the most scariest conversation with this doctor just now. I went there coz I him to check on my stomach pain. He thinks its gastrict..  ??? Anyway I was curiosly asking him about the number of hiv+ cases in my area. This being a very small town. He said there were 35 confirmed infections last year and does not know how many unreported cases. He said the youngest was 22 and they had infection from most of the working ladies here (INdonesian WL).

I am curios..the doctor told me there are no symptoms for hiv and that you will only know after your bloodtest.. the lymphnodes, fever...they dont really show until much much later. I was wondering is it true cos up until now I had separate bouts of fever, sorethroat, whitish stuff on my tongue, no enlarged lymphnodes (I think). Do i fall under the category mentioned by that doctor?

Also, if 35 tested positive last year, does it also means it is very very easy to get HIV? Most men I know here are circumised..it makes me scared.. :(

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2010, 10:21:05 AM »
You're still focusing on symptoms. As I have already told you, symptoms will never tell you anything accurately about your HIV status.

You can test for HIV at 6 weeks. A negative at that point is likely to be negative again at 13 weeks.

All this guessing about how many are positive and all that other stuff doesn't help you. Only testing will give you the answer you want.
Andy Velez

Offline noizuz

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  • Posts: 10
Exposure risk
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2012, 09:59:24 AM »
Hi guys..

Sorry to bother you guys. But I just wanna ask. The other day I was having some fun with this bar girl and one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex with condoms. I also licked the girls vagina.

After the sex I tried to be a little naughty and started to play with my penis around her outer vagina. I did not insert it inside but just rubed it outside her vagina.

Now three days after that I developed fever and a blister on my tounge. I went to my local GP and he prescribed some antibiotics and a jab. After that my fever went away. Three days after I met the doctor I had sex with my wife (unprotected).

My wife now is having some stomachache and she went to see the gynaecologist and she informed her she has vaginal infection. I did not inform my wife what I did as I am ashamed of it. Now I am worried whether I have infected her with anything.

Can you advise me since I feel very guilty about this whole incident.

Can I actually be a carrier? (I have not shown any symptoms)

Thank you very much for your assistance and kindness.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2012, 10:31:52 AM »
I've merged your threads here. It's a rule of the site for members to include all entries in the same thread. In the future put anything you want to say in this same thread. Thanks for your cooperation.

Nothing you did during this latest incident put you at risk for HIV. The essential fact is that you used a condom for intercourse. Nothing else you did would have put you at risk for HIV.

Whatever is going on with your wife has nothing to do with HIV. If it continues she should discuss it with her doctor.

Guilt is the culprit in this situation. Listen, you did what you did and you can't undo that. See that, accept it, breathe and let it go. That's best for all concerned.

And no, you can't carry a virus you don't have. It doesn't work that way with HIV. There is no need for testing by the way. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried sick..
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2012, 10:43:00 AM »
noizuz,

Rubbing your penis on the outside of her vagina is called frottage, and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Licking a woman's genitals is also NOT a risk for hiv infection.

However, you can get herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia from frottage. These STIs are MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. They can also be present with NO obvious symptoms, so the ONLY way to know for sure is to test.

Again, you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
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