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living too much with hiv?

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CalvinC:
Hi all

I've touched on this topic on an earlier thread, but my feelings about it have changed: up until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't think much about my status (which is, so far, good numbers and no meds); now, especially after the amg, I am thinking about it to the point of distraction.

I'm not sure if this is simply a matter of information overload that is getting me down (self-talk eg: "You're a fool to believe you'll remain healthy for long blah blah blah.") or if, three months after my diagnosis, the full impact of what has happened is occuring.

I'm wondering, then, if others have had delayed reactions to the news. Certainly, when I first diagnosed, I wasn't happy: the guy I was seeing dumped me--oh, I'm sorry, I mean, he "chose another life direction"--and in the midst of that, I decided to undo (what had been up until then) some damaging life patterns (such as promiscuity-as-the-answer-to-everything). Being diagnosed seemed to be far down the list.

But now that the fact of getting dumped is settling (thank god) and that I'm learning how to change important facets of my life, the fact that I'm hiv now seems to be coming to the fore.

I dunno, maybe this is all a phase; but today, I was so exhausted discussing it with my therapist that I came home and slept for a couple of hours. I keep toying with the idea that I should stop coming to poz.com, but this is in many ways a wonderful resource....

Andrew

Lis:
i ignored my status for 16 years.... then one day.. i was in hospital with PCP.... life is funny that way.. until you have felt the pain.. you don't know the sickness... live your life sweetpea.. keep your numbers in check... and you can get through this 20 years later......

lisbeth

Life:
I was always a top end type guy Andrew.... It hit me the hardest the first two weeks... Then it began to ever so subtly dissipate... But it ain't gone......

chart420835:
can u tell me how u feel and what happen after doing the treatment?

IzPoz:
Andrew,

All I can tell you is that you need to focus on yourself.  Deal with your issues of the break up... but also, deal with your diagnosis.  Remember, this isn't the end of your life.  It's the beginning.

When I was diagnosed so many years ago, I truly believe that it was the beginning of my life.  I started seeing things in a new perspective, started appreciating things that I took for granted.  I eventually "forgot" about my status, and continued being who I am. 

It's your life.  You are in control of it.  Don't let the virus take control.

Enjoy your life, no matter what obstacles are thrown in your path.

What is that saying??  God gave us mountains so we can learn how to climb.

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