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My cat is giving me the creeps

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CaptCarl:
Hello out there in Pozland kiddies!
   Well as some of you know, I have a cat. Kitty C. International Cat of Mystery, never ceases to shock me. Until last night, though, I never thought that he would actually horrify me to the point that I, as a "parent" may have gone wrong. Was it something I did or said that sent my sweet little K.C. screaming off into the dark side? Clawing the shit out of me when I'm sleeping? Amateur stuff. Bringing "dead" critters home to turn loose in the house for the sole purpose of watching me try to remove them? Mere child's play! All of his obnoxious behaviors are nothing compared to his latest "thing" As much as it weirds me out  though, it's the dogs who are traumatized by this latest round of depravity.
   I was in bed a few nights ago, and the kids were all in bed with me. I had shut out the light, and just started to doze off when I heard it: a low growling noise in the dark. I puzzled over it for a few moments before turning the light back on. Much to my great shock and horror, Kitty C. was on top of Baby Elmo's head biting her ear, and humping her! Then I looked a little closer, and his dick was actually out, and rubbing on the top of her head! Needless to say, I was so shocked that I did nothing for a moment. Then I noticed the look on Elmo's face, and realized that she didn't appreciate being violated like this. S I did what anyone would do, I whacked him upside the head and sent him running from the room. After ascertaining that Elmo was OK, and that there were no pecker tracks on her head, I turned out the light and tried to get some sleep.  A few minutes later, the little bastard was at it again. But this time Waldo was the victim. My reaction was the same. The third time it happened, I threw the little shit out the door. This scene has recurred several times since then. As God is my witness, I am living with a sexual predator in my house.
   Now I know a lot about dogs and cats. But I've never heard of this before. Dogs hump to establish domination, even females do it, but I've never heard of a cat doing it. He has been neutered since he was 6 months old. This is also the first time I've seen a cats dick, and lets just say that now I know why the females scream so when they're getting laid. I wonder if maybe KittyC. thinks he is a dog. There is some evidence to support this theory. He likes to ride in the truck, in fact he has made a 5,300 mile road trip without incident, he growls at the door if someone knocks, and he hates other dogs to come into the yard. Is this something normal for a cat to do? Anybody have any advice? The dogs are afraid of the dark now, and I lie awake at night, in fear of the moment when It's my turn to suffer the humiliation that my cat likes to inflict on us. Is he the Anti-Christ, or just a lesser minion of evil? Should I drive a stake through his heart? Or just live and let live, and never touch the top of either dogs head again ?

AlanBama:
Wow, that's wild!   Fang would probably love him.....when I got home from Montreal she was wearing a hot pink panty and a bra set (bra with 6 sets of cups)....

Actually, I think she really did miss me.  She has been uncharacteristically sweet the past two days...

You may need to register the cat as a 'sexual offender'.... ;D

Hugs,

Alan

Life:
Yikes... Just be sure this kid does not come in the bedroom door and say "Daddy?"

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Matty the Damned:
Click here for a possible solution to your problem.

MtD

RapidRod:
Now that is some hot pussy... :D I didn't know that is how a cat tells you that you are a dick head.  :D I hope no one mind. I wish I would wake up with a dick on my head.  :o

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