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through tearful eyes

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I'm so sorry to hear about your recent news Joey, but like many others have said you couldn't have found a better place.  I tested poz back in 2003, and each day it gets easier to cope with. 


Hang in there bud!  Do what your doctor tells you to do, but at the same time, take the advice and lessons from this site and ask questions about everything when you go for visits.  Write things down in advance if you have to.  Always, always take your meds.   And keep a stash of pills in various places so you aren't caught out someplace without them.

I'm an old war-horse nurse also..I work in the ICU, so as you can see, we're well-represented here  ;)

I found out about myself back in January of this year.  Your post brings back many memories for me, because I went through the same thing at Christmas this past year.  I got sick with high fevers, thought it was the flu, then a sinus infection.  I was coughing so much I kept on throwing up and couldn't keep food down at all.  I too lived on Gatorade, Motrin and Tylenol (with a little chicken noodle soup every now and then when I could tolerate it).  Lost about 30 pounds that month.  I can't even stand to look at Gatorade anymore, lol!  Amazing how we nurses think alike with our "care plans" for ourselves !  ;D

I got a CXR from my friends in Radiology on the sly, which was normal.  Then my doctor (gay male) insisted that I get an HIV test.  Well we all know how that ended up.......

Turns out I had PCP (indirectly diagnosed by symptoms) with a CD4 of 13,  VL 303,000, 2% CD4.   So I started on Sustiva and Truvada immediately (along with Bactrim and azithryomycin).

Strange thing is....i've lost 80 pounds since that time, but they were 80 pounds I needed to lose.  I feel healthy as fuck right now, my relationship with my partner is great, and i've developed a friendship with a beautiful soul on this website who makes it worthwhile to go thru this drama every day.  If I believed in God, then I'd be saying She does work in mysterious ways.   ;)

BTW, my latest labs this month are: CD4 123, VL <50, 6%.  I'm hiking 7 miles in the hills around here 4 times a week. 

Life is just beginning for us dude!

Take care,

I'm trying to hang in there  but sometimes I just break down and cry.  Any support or guidance would sure be appreciated.  I think I need a hug.

Hi Joey,

Everything you are experiencing sounds completely normal for someone who was just diagnosed.

I have no words of wisdom or anything much to encourage you more than what others have said.

So just ... (((HUGS)))

It might be hard to believe right now, but things will get better in time.


Welcome aboard.

Don't fret at crying. It's a healthy way to express often overwhelming emotion. Let it out. You'll feel all the better for it.

As you should know by reading this thread, you certainly are among people who care - because we're all in the same boat.

I was diagnosed earlier this year (2006) and each day gets better and better. Other than coming here and at pill times, I don't think too much about my condition. I'm very much alive - and so are you, my friend :)

Hey Joey,

Welcome aboard, though sorry for the reason you joined us.


Ask anyone who was in Montreal, I give good hug. It's one of my favorite things.  ;D

While it sounds like an oxymoron, if there were ever a good time to find out you are positive, now is that time. There are many more options and treatments than even a few years ago. There were none when I tested positive in 1985.

What's more, you're stuck with us now - you're family.

Hang in there let us know how you are faring.




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