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Author Topic: iam so pissed !  (Read 1483 times)

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Offline cpdh20

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
iam so pissed !
« on: March 25, 2010, 09:47:05 AM »
hi guys:
i just got back from my clinic yesterday, got my blood drawn before my doctor appointment in 2 weeks, i was quite nervous when i walked in there as there are quite alot strange faces there, they all acted quite mystery. the receptionist asked me to wait for and then there was a girl who was in white blouse walked out and told me " we need to talk", i asked the receptionist " whats wrong?" and she said " she will tell you".
i nervously followed this girl who later introduced herself to me she is a doctor and she would like to run some tests on me, she said that some of us may have some kind of virus in our mouth which will lead to anal cancer etc.....there was too much shit she said that i couldnt take in as i was too nervous to concentrate, and then she asked me to gurgle my mouth with some kind of salty water and split it in a small container, swipe the back of my throat with some cotton thing and put them in a bag that she call "my sample", and then told me " you can talk to your doctor next time about this, he will tell you more, because he is part of this study", and then she gave me a questionare in which i had to tick some answer out of it, some of the questions were really personal such as " how many people have u been having oral sex with in the last 2 weeks?" or " how old was you when u first having your oral sex?", after i done with all of these, she gave me a piece of paper and said, "we will contact you".
I was so scared and the thought of i may have some kind of cancer was all over me, had to run to the toilet and read the piece of paper she gave me, and i found out it happened to be some kind of study they are doing and they are asking patients to participate in the project, i dont need to do it if i dont feel comfortable enough.

I was so angry and the first thing that came to my mind was " it looks like i was tricked into participate in the project, that girl should have told me from the beginning that its a study and asked me if iam interested in being a part of it instead of making me feel like i might have some kind of scary cancer and asked me to do the test before giving me the information and asked me to read it when i get home. I came out to her and told her i dont want to participate in this bloody project and i cant handle any pressure right now, i just found out about my hiv status 3 months ago and i dont think iam ready to take something like this, she said its fine and she will discard my sample.

I am still so upset right now and couldnt calm myself down, why some people could be so ignorance and so unprofessonal like that? iam not saying iam not interested in being part of the project but what iam saying is it looks like my freedom of choice has been abused by these people, they made it look like i dont have a choice and they made it look like they tried to scare me so i will have to participate!!!!!!

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,981
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: iam so pissed !
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2010, 10:04:50 AM »
I had almost a similar occurrence the other day.  I went to my new Primary Care Doc (my ID doc suggested I have a Primary Care as well as her, to be more readily available for non-HIV related issues - flu, etc) so I went.  The doc is part of University of Miami.  Prior to the doc seeing me another staff person came in and asked me if I was indeed a smoker -- which I am (pack a day) - she told me they were doing a research study -- however, after I told her my poz status, she said I wouldn't be eligible.  While my experience was different from yours in terms of not feeling duped into participation and having disclosure of the study at the onset, I still was a little thrown off.  This study was also related to some type of protein or something in the mouth that can detect early cancer - at least that is the hypothesis. 

I would suggest that if you are feeling upset about the way it was handled that you 1) let your doc know and 2) you can complain to the IRB (Institute Review Board) overseeing the study as they have various protocols related to protection of human subjects, disclosure, consent for participation, etc.  (I write research grants as part of my job duties)

Hope this info helps.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: iam so pissed !
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2010, 10:05:27 AM »
Please remember, you are the boss of your own body.  If this female doctor is so interested in the study, tell her to do it.  Simple.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline cpdh20

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: iam so pissed !
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2010, 10:14:41 AM »
hi phil, i definately will talk to my doctor about this, i have been so angry and depressed and i actually had to take some anti depressant tonight to calm myself down, i love my doctor but i just cant stand some of the staff there, feel like yelling at them sometime.

Offline Jeff G

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  • Member
  • Posts: 17,061
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: iam so pissed !
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2010, 10:23:53 AM »
Hi cpdh20 and welcome to the forum .

Being newly diagnosed is a stressful time so I do understand its hard for you now .

Just give your self some time to adjust to all of this and you may find things more bearable at your clinic . Be patient with yourself and maybe you will see things differently in time .   
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Offline cpdh20

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: iam so pissed !
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2010, 10:29:28 AM »
Hi cpdh20 and welcome to the forum .

Being newly diagnosed is a stressful time so I do understand its hard for you now .

Just give your self some time to adjust to all of this and you may find things more bearable at your clinic . Be patient with yourself and maybe you will see things differently in time .   

Thanks :)

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,119
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: iam so pissed !
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2010, 03:00:07 PM »
I would be pissed too. That is bullshit. I agree with Phildinftlaudy's recommendations.


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