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Author Topic: first post here - thnx in advance  (Read 4175 times)

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Offline unknown_new

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first post here - thnx in advance
« on: March 15, 2010, 08:43:30 PM »
Hi,

I am a 22 gay male not sexually active until recently ( well kind of). i was fooling around with a guy i met and i learned he's hiv+. we dint have anal sex..although he rimmed by ass, sucked my cock for a few seconds and we kissed...i know this doesn't mean im at risk..but i got paranoid and im thinking about getting tested after the next 3 months.

i am not sure how to calm my self down, even though i am educated about the issue. need some advice.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2010, 09:04:05 PM »
At no time did you put yourself at risk.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2010, 09:15:59 PM »
OK, since you are becoming active this is a good time for you to know the basics about protecting yourself sexually with regard to HIV. All you have to do is always without exception make sure the insertive partner during anal intercourse is wearing a condom. That's it.

All of the other sexual activities are theoretically risky but we know from long experience that the only confirmed risk is unprotected anal intercourse. It's just that simple.

You are worrying needlessly about your recent experience. Use condoms everytime and you'll be ok.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2010, 09:23:45 PM »
thank you for ur fast reply.

the problem is that i know he IS positive..there is not if..

as i said the only we did was kissing, he rimmed my butthole and performed oral for a few seconds..

i was thinking that the only way i could get it if :

1- he had a scar on his tongue and i had one on my tongue or

2- he had a scar on his tongue and i had one on my dick or

3- he had a scar on his tongue and i had one on my hole.

is this true?

i know i should stop worrying because we didnt perform anal sex. i am just neurotic about things sometimes

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2010, 09:27:47 PM »
It doesn't matter that your sexual partner has HIV. Nothing you did is a risk for HIV transmission. Scars on the tongue don't make any difference.

You were not at risk. You do not need to be tested.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2010, 09:32:46 PM »
thank you for ur reply.

is there a way i can understand why 2- and 3- are irrelevant?

or like why is it that anal sex is the only totally risky thing?

thnx

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2010, 09:35:59 PM »
thank you for ur reply.

is there a way i can understand why 2- and 3- are irrelevant?

or like why is it that anal sex is the only totally risky thing?

thnx

When you say "scar" I presume you mean a sore or open wound.

HIV is a fragile virus. It is transmitted through unprotected anal sex, unprotected vaginal sex, sharing contaminated injecting equipment such as needles and syringes and in some circumstances from HIV positive mother to her unborn baby.

Saliva contains numerous substances which make the virus unable to infect people.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2010, 09:45:32 PM »
sorry by scar i mean an open wound. i knew i got the term wrong :)

yeah im not worried about saliva, im thinking about the possibility of blood tranfer from him to my anus, tongue or penis. im not sure if this is even relevant.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2010, 09:49:05 PM »
sorry by scar i mean an open wound. i knew i got the term wrong :)

yeah im not worried about saliva, im thinking about the possibility of blood tranfer from him to my anus, tongue or penis. im not sure if this is even relevant.

In your list of three concerns, you mention some form of oral sex. Saliva would be present in all three situations. Even if blood is present, the substances in saliva would still inhibit any virus present.

You were not at risk and you do not need to be tested for HIV.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2010, 09:53:14 PM »
so it doesnt matter if im the receiver or the giver regarding rimming and oral?

im asking that because he performed both, i didnt. and he's positive. i hope im not trying to say things over and over gain, i know the forum is full of threats.


Offline RapidRod

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2010, 09:59:39 PM »
You were not at risk and you do not need to be tested for HIV.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2010, 10:01:36 PM »
so it doesnt matter if im the receiver or the giver regarding rimming and oral?

im asking that because he performed both, i didnt. and he's positive. i hope im not trying to say things over and over gain, i know the forum is full of threats.



Rimming? No HIV risk to giver or receiver.

Unprotected blowjobs? No risk to the receiver. There is a theoretical risk of transmission to someone who performs unprotected oral sex on an HIV positive man. However there are NO documented cases of HIV being transmitted in this way.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2010, 10:05:17 PM »
ok thank you.

i am such a newbie..is there a page i can visit to learn how to protect myself from getting hiv..i want something related to my case, i want to perfrom anal sex with him, im not sure if it's risky...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2010, 10:07:17 PM »
It's ok New. It's good that you've taken the time to ask questions about how you can protect yourself.

I should have linked you to our Welcome Thread earlier. Click on that and follow the links to our tranmission lessons.

You can have anal sex with this fellow and be perfectly safe if you make sure you use latex condoms and water based lubricant.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #14 on: March 15, 2010, 10:15:06 PM »
thank you. i was freaking out all day. ill be reading that page. if i have most questions, ill questions here.

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2010, 11:11:33 PM »
i read the whole page. i am wondering, is the same to have sex with someone whose status is neg and using a condom and having sex with someone whose status is poz and also using a condom?

basically, if i follow all the instructions and use condoms, will i be fine even if the person im having sex with is hiv+?

thnx

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #16 on: March 15, 2010, 11:34:20 PM »
Yes. Condoms, properly used, will protect you against HIV. You should use them whenever you have anal or vaginal sex. There are STDs other than HIV out there.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #17 on: March 16, 2010, 01:43:17 PM »
basically, i woke up today and i am still getting paranoid. i forgot to mention here that i ejaculated on his back/ass ( without insertion). I think in order to stop getting worried is to get tested in 3 months. there is no harm in doing so other than stressing out...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #18 on: March 16, 2010, 02:27:16 PM »
You have been repeatedly and correctly told that you didn't do anything to put you at risk for HIV. Your latest comments and worries don't change that answer.

There's no need for testing. It's just a waste of resources. Do it if you want to but it unnecessary and a negative result is a slam dunk. No risk, no risk, no risk. Get it?
Andy Velez

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #19 on: March 16, 2010, 04:14:57 PM »
alright.

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2010, 07:02:39 PM »
i have a genera question: so now i understand that i wasnt at risk by getting rimmed, oral for a bit and kissed a poz guy.
my question is: what are the things i could do with this guy that would put me at no risk? i know kissing is safe..and i know that i can have protected sex with him but im not sure i want to take this low risk..is there any stuff i can do that have no risk at all? i hope my question makes sense...

thnx

Offline unknown_new

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concerned a bit - help
« Reply #21 on: February 13, 2011, 08:53:30 AM »
hello,

Im 23 year old gay man. im seeing someone for about a week now but never had intercourse. we agreed he would get tested b4 we do anything, i have never had intercourse b4. last night, he was rubbing on my anus ( from the outside) but "accidentally" went inside for 1 sec and he pulled out immediately, he wasnt wearing a condom. i think even though he went inside for just 1 sec, there was still risk there right?

i think he's neg, and im hoping that's the case. please advise.

thnx.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: concerned a bit - help
« Reply #22 on: February 13, 2011, 09:35:14 AM »
■Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.
■If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.

Offline unknown_new

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Re: concerned a bit - help
« Reply #23 on: February 13, 2011, 10:09:00 AM »
ok, understood.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #24 on: February 13, 2011, 10:29:26 AM »
I've merged your threads here. Please keep all of your entries in this same thread in the future. Thanks for your cooperation.

As for you latest concern, you need to make sure the insertive partner is always wearing a condom until such time as you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have reliably tested negative together. What you think you know about the other guy's health history or how great he looks or what he says are not anything to rely upon. Even someone who is well meaning doesn't always know his HIV status accurately. So a condom is a must everytime.

The incident you described is technically a risk as it seems a very brief insertion took place. Rubbing or frottage of penis against penis or against anus is not a risk. Insertion is a risk. You have to decide if you want to get tested over this or not. Given what you have described I would expect you to test negative. Testing for a conclusive negative result is done at 13 weeks after the incident.

Since you're just at the beginning of this kind of sexual activity this is a good time for you to get into the habit of being careful. If you decide to test I expect you to come out of this experience ok. 
Andy Velez

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #25 on: February 13, 2011, 10:50:30 AM »
thnx andy.

he got tested last week i think and he's expected to be neg. last time he had sex was more than 28 days ago. i want to wait for his test results and if he's neg then i should be ok. i can test 3 months from now.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #26 on: February 13, 2011, 11:10:04 AM »
Well of course his testing negative will be reassuring, but for now and in the future the only test result that matters after a risk is your own result.

Not to create doubts but just being realistic about the matter, his negative result at 28 days would not be conlusive even for him if he has had any risks. At 6 weeks all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so. A negative at 6 weeks is significant but for a conclusive result we go with the CDC at 3 months/13 weeks.

I say all of this to educate and not to alarm. I expect you to come out of this incident ok.

« Last Edit: February 13, 2011, 11:49:41 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #27 on: February 13, 2011, 11:18:08 AM »
ok thnx andy.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #28 on: February 13, 2011, 11:49:12 AM »
And like I said, I expect you to come out of this minimal to no risk incident OK. Keep busy in the meantime before testing. It does help the time to pass.
Andy Velez

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2012, 12:14:52 AM »
hi there, this forum is amazing !!!

i have a question about hiv rapid testing, when they say that the result is " final" does that mean u dont need to get tested again, im not sure how to think about it..lets say someone went and got tested, the result is negative..and it says final..do they need to get tested again?

is it that the only time that u need to get tested again even if the result is negative final is when uve had an exposure??

thnx !

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #30 on: March 12, 2012, 12:28:50 AM »
hi there, this forum is amazing !!!

i have a question about hiv rapid testing, when they say that the result is " final" does that mean u dont need to get tested again, im not sure how to think about it..lets say someone went and got tested, the result is negative..and it says final..do they need to get tested again?

is it that the only time that u need to get tested again even if the result is negative final is when uve had an exposure??

thnx !

Do you mean if the word "final" appears on the printed results sheet that is returned from the laboratory?

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #31 on: March 12, 2012, 12:36:23 AM »
yes

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #32 on: March 12, 2012, 12:43:31 AM »
yes

HIV antibody tests come in kit form. Your sample is taken and then subjected to a process of tests called "assays". These are usually multiple step processes.

The word "final" on the printed sheet simply means that the process of assays has been completed and the result is final for that sample.

If you've tested prior to the expiry of the window period then a negative result cannot be considered "final" in clinical terms.

One other thing, you seem to have a habit of starting new threads. Please stop doing this, it is against our rules and could result in moderator action being taken against you.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #33 on: March 12, 2012, 12:47:00 AM »
ok got it. i forgot about the rule, haven't posted here in a while. thnx

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #34 on: March 12, 2012, 12:48:05 AM »
ok got it. i forgot about the rule, haven't posted here in a while. thnx

That's ok.

Go and sin no more.

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #35 on: March 16, 2012, 02:14:16 AM »
question, does the receiving male partner know if the condom broke? thnx

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #36 on: March 16, 2012, 02:41:01 AM »
question, does the receiving male partner know if the condom broke? thnx

Often the insertive male partner says something like "fuck the condom broke!" and things pretty straight forward thereafter.

If you're asking if the receptive chap will feel the condom break, then maybe. It depends.

Why do you ask?

MtD

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #37 on: March 16, 2012, 03:26:58 AM »
I was just curious...i know that the insertive partner knows right away. the insertive partner would feel the break, i was wondering about the receiving partner. just for curiosity.

Offline Ann

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #38 on: March 16, 2012, 06:07:33 AM »
unknown,

The receptive partner might know sometimes and not other times.

If you're curious about this because you're wondering if you'd notice, as the receptive partner, that the condom broke, well, you're probably not going to most of the time.

If you're not using enough lube and the condom is dragging a bit as a result, you might notice that suddenly things are gliding a bit more easily. That is a clue that the condom has possibly broken. That's one example where you might notice.

If you are using plenty of lube but the condom breaks due to an air bubble in the tip, then you're not very likely to notice as the receptive partner. That's one example where you probably wouldn't notice.

When you bottom, get into the habit of reaching down and checking the condom every few minutes. This may help you identify a broken condom (because there's bits hanging down where there shouldn't be) and it will also enable you to know if he's taken the condom off, literally behind your back.

The best thing for you to concentrate on is preventing condoms from breaking in the first place. How do you do that? By using condoms correctly. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

There are two leading causes of condom breakage.

One is not using plenty of water-based lube. Do not use lube with oil in it (and that will include most moisturisers). Lube is very important! Use it and use plenty of it.

The other is not making sure there is no air bubble in the tip. You need to pinch the tip of the condom with the finger and thumb of one hand, while rolling it down with the other. Once it's on, give it a firm stroke from tip to base, while watching the tip. If there's air in there, you'll see it. If there IS air, roll the condom back up and try again.

Once you are sure there is no trapped air, apply plenty of water-based lube and go for it.

When you're bottoming, you can watch your top put his condom on to make sure he's doing it right. You can also give the condom the firm tip-to-base stroke I talked about earlier, so you can see for yourself whether or not there's trapped air before you let him inside.

Whether you're topping or bottoming, you can make the process of putting on a condom part of your foreplay - just use a little imagination. Get some condoms and practice on yourself in the privacy of your own bedroom. This way, when you need one in the heat of the moment, correct usage will be second nature. Good, safer sex, just like anything else in life, takes a little practice.

Also please read through the condom and lube link in my signature line so you can learn more about the correct use of condoms. Remember, a correctly used condom RARELY breaks!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline unknown_new

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Re: first post here - thnx in advance
« Reply #39 on: March 16, 2012, 10:59:05 AM »
thank you so much Ann !!!!!! that was so helpful, thank you !

 


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