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Author Topic: I am worried  (Read 4350 times)

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Offline jojo

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I am worried
« on: March 14, 2010, 09:36:01 PM »
First, let me congratulate the good people of this board for their amazing work.

My story... Well, with my girlfriend who had one relationship before (in which unprotected sex happened) I did several things:

- She caressed my penis and put her hand around it
- I carressed her (wet) vagina and went in with one finger
- We 'dryhumped' (but with clothes on)
- I kissed and licked her breasts (and nipples)
- We slept together, holding each other (just sleeping, no sex)

Now, I know that in itself all these acts are considered safe. However, 4 weeks after this happened I got a flu that lasted more than a week (muscular pain, high fever etc.). Of course this is not an indicator - or not necessarily - of an infection but I am quite worried. Have I reason to? I am aware of the fact that there is a difference between a theoretical risk and a real risk (e.g. having unprotected sex)... But on the other hand I hear so much that until today it is not proven that anything else than unprotected sex (without of course infected needles, blood etc.) can cause HIV. But what about, let's say, used sex toys, if HIV can survive on these, why couldn't it on a hand? So... can't it be that infected people - who also had intercourse - got the disease by, let's say exchanging bodily fluids without having sex (e.g. masturbating a penis with a hand lubricated by the vagina)? It can be assumed in this case that the infection was transmitted by sex, but is this proven?

So these are my 3 questions (in bold).

Thanks for a reply !

Offline Ann

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2010, 10:40:08 PM »
jojo,

Get a grip. You have not had a risk for hiv infection. Hiv is not transmittable from sex toys or hands. Hiv is transmitted through UNPROTECTED  anal or vaginal intercourse and that's it. Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2010, 11:48:14 AM »
jojo,

Get a grip. You have not had a risk for hiv infection. Hiv is not transmittable from sex toys or hands. Hiv is transmitted through UNPROTECTED  anal or vaginal intercourse and that's it. Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann

Dear Ann,

ok.

The CDC however states that:

Hands and other parts of the body should be washed immediately after contact with blood or other body fluids,...
(to avoid infection)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2010, 11:58:30 AM »
You've never had an exposure. Take the time to read the lessons on transmission.

Offline Ann

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2010, 12:54:12 PM »
Jojo,

The CDC operate what I call a CYA (cover your ass) system of disseminating information on hiv.

Not one person has EVER been infected by dry humping while fully clothed, being masturbated, being fingered or by doing the fingering, kissing or licking breasts or sleeping next to each other.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2010, 04:37:02 AM »
Hello, just this post to prove that I am not that crazy. Actually, when I was writing my first post I still had a flu, but I didn't want to make it sound too dramatic.

In fact, it was quite serious: all in all I have been ill for 3-4 weeks, with high fever, swollen glands, lowering of the blood placelets, hightened coagulation risk, feeling exhausted, faryngitis, swollen spleen, liver infammation etc.

Anyway, did she infect me? The answer is probably yes (although it can't be known with 100% certainty)
Did she infect me with HIV? No, it was Epstein-Barr

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2010, 06:59:49 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2010, 08:40:00 AM »
Whatever is going on with you has nothing to do with HIV. Discuss  your problem with your doctor. We can't do anything further for you in this setting.

Good luck in finding out what the real problem is and getting it addressed.
Andy Velez

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #8 on: March 29, 2010, 04:24:16 PM »
Hello :)

Maybe you guys misunderstood ? ;)
I was saying - as Andy stated- that it has indeed nothing to do with HIV.
I just explained what happened. Why is everybody angry? ???

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2010, 04:34:17 PM »
Hey JoJo

I get what you're talking about. You came back to tell us that what made you ill was not HIV, rather it was EBV. EBV is a very common and easily transmitted virus.

Cheers for letting us know. It's important that people understand there are a numerous things which can cause 'flu like symptoms and that symptoms are never specific to HIV.

Best wishes,

MtD

Offline jojo

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Blood
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2012, 04:55:09 PM »
I masturbated a girl who was not having her period. However, after she had an orgasm, there was blood on my hands (to my surprise) - not just a bit of blood but much blood. I can't remember exactly if my blood-covered hands touched (accidentally) my mouth or genitalia.

Anyway: am I at risk?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Blood
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2012, 04:56:53 PM »
■Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.
■If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2012, 05:08:11 PM »
Jojo, I have merged your threads here. It's a rule of the site for members to write only in the same thread. Thanks for your cooperation.

It wouldn't matter if the blood touched your mouth or genitalia. HIV is a fragile virus and absolutely is not passed in that manner. The only confirmed means of transmitting HIV sexually are through unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms properly everytime for those activities and you will be well protected.

There's no need for further concern on your part or for HIV testing.

Andy Velez

Offline jojo

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Re: Blood
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2012, 05:15:28 PM »
■Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.
■If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.


ok thank you, I was not aware of this rule.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2012, 05:28:01 PM »
OK. It's in the opening thread of this section but is often overlooked. Onward...
Andy Velez

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #15 on: July 30, 2012, 07:52:47 PM »
Ok, so no HIV-risk

A question which is not directly related (but still has to do with STD's): is receiving oral gratification dangerous for other STD's (herpes, chlamydia...)?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2012, 08:01:45 PM »
Ok, so no HIV-risk

A question which is not directly related (but still has to do with STD's): is receiving oral gratification dangerous for other STD's (herpes, chlamydia...)?

Absolutely.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2012, 08:33:26 PM »
Well, that's quite uncomforting... Then millions of people are daily at risk :-\

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2012, 10:35:54 PM »
Well, that's quite uncomforting... Then millions of people are daily at risk :-\

As it has been through the ages.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2012, 09:59:02 AM »
So, I should get tested then?

Offline Ann

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #20 on: July 31, 2012, 10:03:27 AM »
jojo,

Why would you test over a NO RISK situation?

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #21 on: July 31, 2012, 10:11:13 AM »
jojo,

Why would you test over a NO RISK situation?

Ann

Because there is no risk for HIV, but a risk for chlamydia, Gonorrhea etc...

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #22 on: July 31, 2012, 02:18:49 PM »
As a standing principle we always advise anyone who is sexually active to at least annually have a full STD panel done. Other stds are much easier to acquire than HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2012, 09:01:00 AM »
This may sound like a stupid question, but why would the chances of contracting a STD be greater when you receive a blowjob than when you are kissing?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2012, 09:05:14 AM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2012, 09:07:19 AM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Hello. Can you explain please why my rather general question is considered as being an excessive post?
Thank you...

Offline Ann

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2012, 09:11:39 AM »
jojo,

This forum focuses on hiv, not STIs in general. You are not asking hiv questions.

You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection and anything else is outside our remit.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2012, 10:36:12 AM »
ok, thank you.

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #28 on: August 04, 2012, 06:57:14 PM »
Hmm... sorry to bother, but there is one more thing.

I do not want to sound like a hypochondriac of some sorts. But I think this disease is too important to overlook every possible risk. I am fully aware that oral sex is considered as only a theoretical risk situation for HIV, I read the lessons etc.  Furthermore, I know that there is a lot of conflicting information circulating on the internet concerning this topic. Not many sources are truly reliable. However, how can one state that oral sex contains only a theoretical risk and that no case ever was documented of HIV transmission (for the "receiver") if the figures of the CDC say something else...?



(source for information: http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/rr5402a1.htm#tab1)


Offline RapidRod

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #29 on: August 04, 2012, 07:06:54 PM »
No, there isn't one more thing. You never had an exposure. Move along.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #30 on: August 04, 2012, 07:19:29 PM »
The table you reference is from a stusy that was disproved several years ago.

The researchers actually made up the last number in order to round out the averages. Because in the history of the pandemic, not a single documented case of getting HIV from receiving a blowjob exists. Therefore one can NOT quantify the statistics for such an event.

In addition, that study was done long before there were serodiscordant studies, and relied purely on patient report after infection - which has been shown time and again to be notoriously unreliable.

In short, it's trash science. As to why the CDC maintains that page, you'd have to ask them. I do believe that the fact that it's a governmental agency with a superimposed political agenda has a lot to do with it.

That's why we scrutinize the science itself here, the actual studies instead of parroting tables and graphs liften from other sites like some people. Doubtless you will notice that the CDC links to sites which contain even more disquieting, inaccurate information.

I am always amazed that people assume we don't know about that study, the CDC's official stances, and their unwillingness to scrub their site of obsolete information.

You will not get HIV from receiving a blowjob.

Nor by kissing.

Nor from the actual things you mentioned in your original post.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #31 on: August 04, 2012, 07:25:22 PM »
We're not interested in what you pick up from roaming around other websites.

Your situation has been carefully considered and evaluated as non-risk. That's it.

We're not here to indulge you in what ifs and maybes.

If you continue that sort of stuff you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site. HIV is not your problem. Get on with your life. Consider yourself warned.
Andy Velez

Offline jojo

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #32 on: August 04, 2012, 07:41:02 PM »
@ Jkinatl2: thank you for your information, it helped alot. Strange that an institute such as the CDC lowered itself to such non-scientific (pseudoscientifical) practices. They should indeed ban this from their site.
@ Rapidrod/Andy Velez: Sorry that I posted this, but it was not just "any" other website, it was the CDC... that's why I was worried.
I gracefully accept the warning and shan't post anymore on this topic.

Thanks again for all the info!

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I am worried
« Reply #33 on: August 05, 2012, 09:19:49 AM »
OK. Get on with your life now.
Andy Velez

 


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