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Author Topic: What to say to David25?  (Read 3059 times)

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Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
What to say to David25?
« on: August 24, 2006, 09:26:44 AM »
David,

I have read many of the threads about each members' Montreal experience, and I see that the majority of people left there with a new sense of being, bonds that will last forever and much love in their hearts.  This is wonderful.  You on the other hand, I must question.  My reason is stated below.  And so as to not hi-jack CalvinC's (Andrew's) thread "Post your Montreal Experience here" or something like that, I came across an interesting comment from you David, and I had a hard time letting it go.  I was not able to sleep thinking about your comment.  For your convenience I have cut & pasted here...

And I quote:

"You handsome devil.  I didn't have a chance to talk with you much but I sure dig that accent.   It was nice to put a face and personality to an icon.  Indeed I did enjoy my Montreal experience...most of the members who attended were very nice...the others, well, who gives a shit."

With all due respect David, I'll tell you who gives a shit, I DO... I believe your words were uncalled for and very, very cold.  You have certainly left a chill running down my spine.  I'm not too stunned though that you would go to such lengths having known you for more than a year on these forums.  Why don't you keep your trap shut if you have nothing nice to say?  You spew crap all the time on these forums, and quite frankly I'm sick of it.  Where do you get off saying such a thing?  I'm appalled.

Perhaps you should take the time to re-read your words and think carefully about those words before hitting the "Post" button.  Did you believe for one second that you would have gotten away with such a remark?  Have you considered the fact that many of us did not get the chance to speak to others in depth?  What the f**k were you thinking?  Who the hell do you think you are?  There were 40 people in this group and the time we had together was way too short to sit down and have a one-on-one with everyone.  We all did different things at different times and we were not always together.  So for you to single out just the people YOU spoke to and then "NOT GIVE A SHIT" about the rest of us,  I've got 2 words for you & and it's not happy birthday.  I think you get my tone and the picture.

David, I wish I would have been able to talk to everyone for hours on end, but that was impossible.  It's a given that we will connect more with others & form bonds with certain people... and the short time I did speak with some or didn't even get the chance to talk to at all I DO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM -- EVEN THOSE I ONLY HUGGED AND WELCOMED.  It's not a complicated thing to do from where I sit, but hey we're different people and I'm thankful for that.

If you want to single out those you connected with, that's fine David and well you should.  But to say you don't give a shit about those you didn't get to talk to or bond with as you did with some others, I find that you have a cold heart and you are not able to extend yourself unless you get something out of it.  Yes, it's true that you gave me & John some breakfast coupons, which we very much appreciated and we both thank you for, but considering the fact that we were not in your list of favorites and among those people you DO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT, it boggles my mind why you would have given them to us in the first place and not to someone you REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT?  What's up with that?

Do me a favor, will ya?  TRY TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ALL OF US.  That's all I ask.  I don't think it will kill you to at least try.

Signed,

Stunned, angry & hurt,

Trish ??? >:( :( :'( :P

(Who even gives a SHIT ABOUT DAVID even though we didn't talk much)
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2006, 09:43:42 AM »
Trish,

Yes!

You bring up a very important point about "decorum", which is somewhat of a lost art in this new age we live in.  Unfortunately, when you gather 40 people of all kinds, from around the world, and our only singular connection is these forums, and our common struggle against a virus that would have us all dead; there is every expectation that some will fit in and some not.  Where we need to pay attention personally, and I mean this in a very quiet and personal way, is to try to keep our emotions and our judgements about others in perspective.

David obviously typed something here that he didn't think twice about, as he was more than likely being driven by a lack of attention as how others might see his words.  We must at all times, both here in the forums, and when we are together, be consious of our words and actions, as what we say and do is going to affect others and do so in ways we cannot imagine.  I do pray that David left this message as a total mistake, and was saying these things without really thinking of the ramifications of his words.  I cannot believe that he really meant that we should all go to hell, as he did show during the week that he was very capable of truly loving feelings and words. 

I think we can all learn from this that we need to be mindful that some of us will not read our words with a laugh or a flit of humor, as it is really hard to laugh right after pulling your head out of the toilet.  I am not advocating that we all be serious about everything we place here; Goddess forbid, I am only trying to state that what we do contribute here, must be guarded, and must reflect our true meaning.  I want very badly to think that David was trying to present a humorous comment, but if not........David, you screwed up.

In Love.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2006, 09:50:58 AM »
Thanks Tim.  I understand what you are saying, but just the same I did not find anything humorous in his remark.  And I have a feeling that David will simply right it off as being coy & funny just because he was called out on it.  Joking or not, I'm upset with him.
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2006, 01:57:56 PM »
Well here we go again... apparently there's not enough drama on the forum these days so let's
stir the pot...huh Trish?  Well I don't know where to begin with you, but here goes....

       Personally I had a wonderful time and connected with some pretty incredible people.  I'm sorry I can't include you in that group.  Despite my overtures of friendship and even my offerings of breakfast for you and John twice, you still could not bring yourself to reciprocate in any way shape or form.  Apparently you were much to busy partying or whatever it was you were so pre-occupied with up until John hurt his foot.  After that its understandable that you were unable to offer a single encouraging or agreeable WORD to me...Of course you did want my Lori-tabs and my soma's....just didn't want to be bothered with me.

       Let me suggest before you jump up on your soapbox and start wagging your finger at me...you take a good look at yourself and ask yourself why it is necessary to start this drama after everyone gets back and has stated on more than one thread how much they enjoyed "The Gathering".  Are you doing this for US as a group or are you simply getting EVEN for not getting what you WANTED.

       Perhaps it was a poor choice of words...Who Gives a Shit?  Because I actually do.  I suppose that's why I'm so upset with YOU.  Starting this thread and stirring the pot convinces me your heart is not in the right place...Not mine.  I do care.  I care about everyone who attended and even those who were not able to attend.  I am guilty of being HUMAN and of making mistakes.  And yes it was a mistake saying "Who Gives A Shit" but then that's what I felt at the moment....

        I don't agree with everything you say on this forum...or your views on certain issues but I'd give my life for your right to say it...It ashamed that you WHO CARES SO MUCH can't allow me the same freedoms YOU enjoyed when you started this thread.  Think about it...........and then jump back up on your soap box again and tell me what I should and should not say.

        People who live in glass houses...should not throw rocks!
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2006, 02:45:50 PM »
David,

You said something that disturb me and I said something about it.  I did not say this to start drama, I only did so because it bothered me.  Sue me, okay?

I am sorry that we did not get a chance to talk more.  I mingled with as many people as I could in the short time we had and under the circumstances of John hurting his foot.  I have not forgotten you're generosity when you gave us those coupons.  I said thank you more than once.  As far as the pain killers go, you offered them to us, but we never took them from you.  And I'm certain that John appreciated your offer as did I, but never did I look at it as a gift horse. 

I never said I didn't want to be bothered with you, I just didn't get the time to do so.  And you're not the only one I didn't get a chance to sit down and chat with.  It does not mean that I don't give a shit, because I do, more than you will ever know.  Forgive me that I did not get down on my knees and thank you till the heavens burst.  Yeah, I guess I was pre-occupied... watching people getting to know one another and sharing.  I was amazed at all the love I felt in this group and I couldn't imagine anyone making a statement like you did.  It irked me and I voiced myself.  That's all I did.  Drama, you created this one David with your very own words, not me.  I thought it was uncalled for... and a mistake it was.   

I do care about everyone on these forums David, probably more than my own blood family.  My heart is heavy for everyone here and I cherish each of you.  That is why I said something here... this is what you offer:

       Perhaps it was a poor choice of words...Who Gives a Shit?  Because I actually do.  I suppose that's why I'm so upset with YOU.  Starting this thread and stirring the pot convinces me your heart is not in the right place...Not mine.  I do care.  I care about everyone who attended and even those who were not able to attend.  I am guilty of being HUMAN and of making mistakes.  And yes it was a mistake saying "Who Gives A Shit" but then that's what I felt at the moment....


If you truly cared and gave a crap, you wouldn't have used "who gives a shit."  Think about that one.  You felt that way at the moment, but you just couldn't keep it to yourself knowing that it would hurt someone along the way.  That's caring in your eyes? ???

*******************
Edited to add:

David, you also offer this:

       Let me suggest before you jump up on your soapbox and start wagging your finger at me...you take a good look at yourself and ask yourself why it is necessary to start this drama after everyone gets back and has stated on more than one thread how much they enjoyed "The Gathering".  Are you doing this for US as a group or are you simply getting EVEN for not getting what you WANTED.


For your information, I did do this for US...would you have sat there and taken a swipe like that?  I think not.  If someone said they didn't give a shit about you, I'm certain you'd be on them like white on rice.  Give me a break... do you think I'm an idiot?  Another FYI, I'm not getting even for not getting what I wanted, on the contrary, I didn't go to Montreal expecting anything but to see the people I met in Toronto and hug a few more whom I haven't met.  That's what I wanted and that's what I got.  As I see it, you're the one who didn't get what he wanted.  Just because a few people didn't get the chance to talk to you or OVEREXTEND THEMSELVES TO YOU, you have the audacity to bash us.  Shame on you David!!!  Shame on you!!!

***********************

I also don't agree with everything you say on these forums or your views on things, but what you said this time was outright mean.  Yes, of course you & everyone else has a right to say what they want, but at what cost David?  This one cost alot... my respect for you.  If anyone has a problem with the things that are written here, they will say so, just like you do.  And if you see this thread as drama, well, whatever... I only wish you could have left out the nasty comment.  The rest of your post was beautiful, but you chose to put that nasty crap in... thanks alot.

Perhaps I wasted my keystrokes, you just don't get it, do you?

« Last Edit: August 25, 2006, 08:09:20 AM by Trish »
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,829
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2006, 04:23:33 PM »
Dear David...I guess what Trish is trying to say is that when you list a whole slew of people and then say that as far as the rest are concerned who cares, those people not listed are left wondering if indeed they did or did not do something or said the wrong thing perhaps.  Truly with 40 people we simply had to break off in smaller groups much of the time in order to get to know as many people as we could, it was not possible for all 40 people to be together at all times, we were not a school class outing....I must admit I was left to ponder from your post as well who you were referring to and I think Tim H. and Andy have said in the past that if you had issues with anyone just name them instead of being coy and people would not be left wondering, not that it is a huge issue believe me...As a result you may have thrown a bit of cold water on memories of our gatheing whether or not you intended to...However in such a large group we can't all come away feeling the same about everyone equally, that is not possible.

I hope you enjoyed your trip to Montreal and we will see you next year wherever that may be.

Jody  ???
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2006, 09:35:12 AM »
Jody...

    I agree I made a terrible mistake ....and have admitted to it.  I am human and I do err.  I was WRONG.  But I don't think jumping on every little thing I say...starting a drama about it....serves anyone.  Why didn't Trish simply use the PM approach....speak to me directly?  Because that way she couldn't get the "drama" she seems to love creating.  I have had a couple of people ATTACK me directly and every time I'm asked to "let it go" by certain moderators...which is in the best interest of the forum....so I try to let it go. 

     I think its unfortunate that Trish believes HER opinion is the voice of this forum.  IT IS NOT!  There were many people in Montreal who were enjoying the moment....but you don't hear them making lame excuses why they couldn't OFFER a friendly exchange...As busy as some of us were in Montreal....we found the time to reach out to ALL the others...not just to our personal favorite personalities.  And yes, I did offer JOHN pain medication...Not you...and I didn't leave a message on my own voicemail at the room. 

     Apparently Trish has a short memory...back when she was taking flack about her relationship with John... I was one of the few who not only openly encourage her to enjoy his companionship but made no predictions about how it would turn out...  I have often responded to her threads with positive and agreeable dialogue....but from her I get nothing but grief and I've lost my repect for you.  She lost mine when she started this thread!

     Jody... I appreciate your attempt to diffuse the situation and I am more than willing to LET IT GO.  I have admitted my mistake and I apologize to everyone on the forum for making such a crass remark...I DO CARE...PERHAPS TOO MUCH.  It's a shame that Trish has attempted to diminish what was for me a fabulous weekend...
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Trish

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2006, 11:47:41 AM »
Dear David,

I jumped on what you said because it hurt me... plain & simple.  I never intended for this to be drama, but only a conversation amongst 2 adults.  I did not go through the PM approach because I felt since this is a public forum and you made that statement in public that this is where it belonged -- in public.  I never meant to diminish your Montreal experience in any way, shape or form, and I apologize if that is what I have done.  All I wanted to do was to bring it to your attention, and perhaps receive an apology.  That's all I was looking for and now that you have extended an apology, I accept that apology.  Should I have done this in private?  Maybe, maybe not.  What's done is done and I only spoke my peace -- it will not happen again, I assure you.  I'm letting this go.

Have a good weekend.

Trish
"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline DingoBoi

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,355
  • Bailey's Infected Cream™ Served since 2004
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2006, 05:46:04 PM »
listen to the last track of the cd.

Offline kypozguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 37
  • Kentucky Poz Guy
    • My group website
Re: What to say to David25?
« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2006, 08:31:53 AM »
Bailey,  I think your suggestion is the perfect ending of this thread.  I am listening to "For Good" now and it's perfect!  Thanks again for this reminder of our weekend.

We are all changed FOR GOOD!

Cheers
Marc
See you at AMG 06--Montreal Quebec Canada--August 17 - 21, 2006

Diagnosed Oct 05, 1985

Organizer and Moderator of the Louisville Poz Buddies Social group in Louisville Kentucky USA.

 


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