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Author Topic: roommate possibility  (Read 8454 times)

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Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
roommate possibility
« on: March 08, 2010, 11:52:05 PM »
hello,

one of my coworkers needs a place to live and im thinking of letting him live with me. only problem, big lifestyle differences. want ur feedback. also, dont move this shit to off topic...my hiv plays a role with this.

so, my coworker picked me up for work today and will do so tomorrow. on our little commute he opens up to me. he begins telling me about the past 3 years of his life and my heart just bounds. he also told me he is looking for a place to live as well. well, now after hearing about his shit it crosses my mind that i have an extra room that im not using for shit except old clothes and ironing.

if he were to move in i'd make  4800 a year more plus reduce my utilities. this means i could eliminate my credit card debt in under 2 years without changing my lifestyle (by the way, my lifestyle will change to accelerate the debt elimination process).

please view my pros and cons and tell me what you think:

pros:
he has more experience in my work field (not a supervisor)
he's super smart
save money
more food
good for the soul to help others in need
he's responsible
he wants to start working out together
he's straight and okay with me being gay
he's bilingual and can assist me with my spanish
he won't be home a lot
he'll be close to his kids
he knows how to fly planes
he likes to hike and do outdoorsy stuff
we both like to help others out

cons:
i smoke pot, he doesn't know and won't approve
i'm poz, i'd like to keep that from him
i have a lot of porn
i'm very liberal, he's very conservative (as in he doesn't curse)
i probably wouldn't be able to smoke pot at home
he's very christian and i'm very not.
im constantly late to work and no one knows
i like making noises when i jack off - nightly

so, i think he's looking for a place to stay and i feel like he was feeling me out. i'll invite him in after work tomorrow and see how things go. i'll run this by my therapist as well. i'm also thinking if he moves in i'll smoke less pot and save more money
but, i would like a confidentiality agreement. what goes on at home, stays at home. im good about keeping secrets, even when im pissed. i hope he does the same.  
« Last Edit: March 08, 2010, 11:54:20 PM by next2u »
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2010, 11:56:51 PM »
I'm not touching this with a 10 foot pole.

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2010, 12:00:48 AM »
have i done something wrong?
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2010, 12:05:04 AM »
have i done something wrong?

Not at all dude.  I just think this is something you'd have to decide on your own.

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2010, 12:14:50 AM »
gotcha...
ive had a number of roommates and have lived on my own for a while now. financially it makes sense. but i ve heard you shouldn't live with people you work with or are fucking (and not in a relationship). i'd like a responsible roommate and his outreach work is really impressive.

i'll do some soul searching. the obvious answer seems to be yes...

but i'm hesitant.

can u shorten that stick a lil?

midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2010, 12:22:50 AM »
This will end badly.

MtD

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 11,814
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2010, 12:30:48 AM »
99% of roomates suck . 100 % of mine sucked big time . I was perfect .


Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2010, 12:32:21 AM »
you know matty, after i see your name after any post i make i get a shiver down my spine before reading it....

thanks, i hear ya. there is a reason i hesitate.

i dont have a centralized location and i only see this person for about 3 hours a week at work.

once i start school up again my home will only be used for sleeping.

midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline griezzel

  • Member
  • Posts: 46
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2010, 12:33:01 AM »
Sounds like it'd be better to plan on it be a short term arrangement, at least until you see how it's going to work out. Because it seems there are several possible obstacles to a good vibe in the house, which, for me at least, is paramount. Reducing stress levels (and keeping them there) is very important for us with HIV.

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2010, 12:34:05 AM »
3 of my good friends and my gbm (godbaby's mama) were x roommates (we didnt know each other before living together). the other 12 or so im still cordial towards.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2010, 12:34:56 AM »
@ griezzel

u make a good point. thanks :)
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Online tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,888
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2010, 12:36:23 AM »
My best friend moved in with his boss.  It didn't go well and it hurt their working relationship.  I worry about people coming to the house and seeing anything HIV related--med journals, pamphlets, my labs, etc.  If you don't want him to know, you better get a safe.  Most people snoop--I think many of us have done it.  About the pot, are you sure he won't get mad at you over bills or something and use it to blackmail you?

That extra money is hard to turn down.  The only problem I see if he goes talking your business to co-workers.  If you both have very strong political views, it may be good to make a rule that politics not be discussed.  Most of my partner's family is republican.  We have a rule that we aren't suppose to talk politics.  We found out his brother's and sister-in-law's views on gay marriage.  Our relationship with them has forever been changed.  We wish we never found out.  I think my CD4 last summer points out the battle we had.  It upset me so much and I think my CD4 drop showed it.  Having said that, we expected more from family.  I probably wouldn't get so upset over a roommate's views.

Good luck with the decision  


Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2010, 12:41:05 AM »
D,

The Odd Couple was a TV show. That shit doesn't work out IRL.

You're a pot smoking, ass fucking, unbelieving, Demonkrat voting, profanity using man of colour with teh AIDS.

Your proposed roomate is a conservative, bible believing, baby fathering, anti-drug, Republican, aircraft piloting servant of the Lord.

It's easy for you two to respect each other at work or when you meet on limited social occasions. Living with this guy will be a totally different kettle of eels. When it goes wrong (and it will my friend) it will go wrong in spectacular style.

I know what you're doing here honey. You're a fundamentally decent fella with a heart as big as Montana and you're trying to help someone out.

But stop and think. Do you really want to live (check that live) with Todd Palin?

MtD :-*

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2010, 12:44:55 AM »
@tednlou2

love ur handle! yeah. i could see that happening. he's a nice guy and ex military. i grew up on a base and my parents were in government / law enforcement.

the money is hard to turn but im financially stable for now, just looking for ways to come up. my life is legit right now. it's legal for me to smoke pot and my medical condition is a condition.

but stigma's a bitch and i don't want to stress. this guy is part of my immediate work group and we have the same supervisor and 6 coworkers on our team. they help me with every aspect of my work and have become an integral part of my support group.

hmmm...i dont think ive ever heard this man gossip at work nor did i know much about him before 1 month ago when i started revealing my admiration for his work ethic and analytical abilities. we've been on the same team now for almost 2 years and he just started opening up to me about 2 months ago when i needed his help on a project.

his conservative background does worry me. in all honesty him being a christian doesn't bother me. some of the best and worst people i know are christians. he goes to church every week and gives a lot back to his community. makes me want to give back to him.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2010, 12:48:51 AM »
@mtd

who's posts i always find interesting :).
when you make a point, you make a point.

thank you for being so concise. i see i have a lot to think about and will err on the side of caution. maybe i'll drop a "you don't have to worry about being homeless but we can't be roommates" line on dude.

he is supporting his wife and 3 kids through a divorce. i just can't imagine what that is like ...

best,
d
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2010, 12:50:57 AM »
@mtd

who's posts i always find interesting :).
when you make a point, you make a point.

thank you for being so concise. i see i have a lot to think about and will err on the side of caution. maybe i'll drop a "you don't have to worry about being homeless but we can't be roommates" line on dude.

he is supporting his wife and 3 kids through a divorce. i just can't imagine what that is like ...

best,
d

Eh, who cares what it's like? He made his choices. Now he has to pay for 'em. You're doing pretty much the same thing in your own way.

If you do decide to let the First Dude move in with you, tell him before hand exactly how things are. It's your place and he has to deal with the way you live.

That should resolve things nicely. :)

MtD

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #16 on: March 09, 2010, 12:56:36 AM »
@mtd.
agreed. i am the downside of being a bleeding heart liberal.

hmm, well, ill have to find someone else to pay half my rent...
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,114
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #17 on: March 09, 2010, 12:56:43 AM »
This will end badly.

MtD

Which is what will make this so exciting for these forums as a whole if we highly recommend that nextie goes ahead and let's the guy move in with him.  Please think of the greater community!
« Last Edit: March 09, 2010, 12:58:41 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2010, 12:59:20 AM »
@miss p

i know you're just being mean cause i said something nice about matty. don't worry love, i still have a big portion of my heart just for you. just like the boys at the club we can share!

midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,114
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2010, 01:03:27 AM »

i know you're just being mean cause i said something nice about matty.

Now, now... the internet is not a contest!
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2010, 01:11:44 AM »
i think one of my x roomies was poz...just didnt know about it. saw his profile on a4a a while back and noticed that he didn't have his status checked. of course, this was before i was poz and very naive. i hooked up with some guys that were poz but didnt realize it until after diagnosis...
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2010, 01:25:47 AM »
i think one of my x roomies was poz...just didnt know about it. saw his profile on a4a a while back and noticed that he didn't have his status checked. of course, this was before i was poz and very naive. i hooked up with some guys that were poz but didnt realize it until after diagnosis...

Why don't you just run an ad for a roommate that is poz?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline next2u

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2010, 01:28:47 AM »
 ::) YOU know y, lol ...
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
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aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2010, 02:15:15 AM »
::) YOU know y, lol ...

Because you'd hump a pile of turds if it had a pulse?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online tednlou2

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2010, 02:24:27 AM »
I ran an ad several years ago for a roommate in the newspaper--this was in '95 before internet.  98% of respondants were looking for sex.  I finally found one guy who was serious.  I didn't tell him I was gay.  He moved all his stuff in, found out I was gay, and was moving out within 6 hours of moving in.  Maybe I should have told him I was gay.  However, this is the funny part and I swear to God this is true... about 4 months later he knocked on my door very late and drunk.  He was wanting to mess around.  It explained so much about his insecurities and why he moved out.  I know this story doesn't help you...I was just reminiscing.     

Offline sdguyloveslife

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2010, 02:44:19 AM »
If there's one thing I can spot -- it's a fellow co-dependent!  Wow!  From one co-dependent relationship and right into another!  Sure, you're not going to "date" this one, but you've got to admit there is an element of "fixing" him and his situation going on here.  We co-dependents cannot be happy unless we are meddling in someone else's business, fixing someone else's life, or taking care of someone.  All this and I didn't even mention how much you will have to "behave" and "change your lifestyle" to accommodate him instead of living as who you really are!  This is exactly our M.O. too - run out and fix someone else's life while ignoring the big elephant in your own living room.  Methinks next2u needs to spend some time and effort working on himself.  And yeah, I already know you're going to disagree with me and continue living in denial, but hey, you asked...so, I'm just saying. 

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.

Offline Grasshopper

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2010, 05:28:36 AM »
Next2U, I love reading your posts....very entertaining and beats watching reruns of the Jerry Springer shows.
Honestly, seldom have I seen anyone doing their utmost best to dig their own grave. Just reread the cons in your initial post...are you sure you want / are able to survive in a closet within your own home ...and for how long ?

greetz & goodluck   ;D

Offline mecch

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2010, 05:42:03 AM »
1)  Roommates are great not crappy. Crappy roommates are the exception.

2) Don't invite this guy because the cons on your list are too intimate and will cramp your lifestyle.

3) Clean up your extra room and advertise for a roommate who will be happy with you and vice versa.

Its pretty simple. So you had a good idea and just have to work a bit now to complete it.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Dachshund

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2010, 06:44:22 AM »
Honey, you love the drama. Get him a phone and call the movers.

Offline David_CA

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2010, 07:40:53 AM »
...However, this is the funny part and I swear to God this is true... about 4 months later he knocked on my door very late and drunk.  He was wanting to mess around.  It explained so much about his insecurities and why he moved out.  I know this story doesn't help you...I was just reminiscing.    

So, did ya?   ;)

On a serious note, I think Mecch (and others) have some good advice.  Skip this guy and get a roommate that's more compatible.
Black Friday 03-03-2006
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  Atripla started 12-01-2006
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Offline Theyer

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #30 on: March 09, 2010, 09:03:21 AM »
He sounds hot and unavailable----perfect
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Cliff

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #31 on: March 09, 2010, 09:25:18 AM »
Sounds like a brilliant idea!  Just don't forget to get that confidentiality agreement signed.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #32 on: March 09, 2010, 10:02:30 AM »
He sounds hot and unavailable----perfect

Just how I like my men.

Offline Florida69

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #33 on: March 09, 2010, 10:15:05 AM »
make sure you put everything in writing, a sublease agreement.  Although he is probably a good guy, the best way to protect yourself is with a contract.  As for the pot smoking (where do I sign up), actually because of how the legal system works, I would give some serious thought to this, because you have to go back in the closet.  It is easy to hide somethings from a room mate such as porn, but mary jane has a certain aroma.  He may be very against it, and being that he works with you could tell people etc, especially if he catches you, then that could mean issues at work.  Just my two cents.  Good luck.  D
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #34 on: March 09, 2010, 11:05:09 AM »
Hide porn from a roommate?  What are you - 15?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline BT65

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #35 on: March 09, 2010, 05:38:13 PM »
This has been an extremely entertaining read thus far.  D, I truly don't know where a lot of my drama-queen reading would come from, if not for you. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline fearless

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #36 on: March 09, 2010, 05:50:14 PM »
Here I was thinking you were thinking about having the ex as a roommate.

Forget all the other pros and cons - although i note the cons seem to far outweigh any positive.

KEEP WORK AND YOUR PRIVATE LIFE SEPERATE.

To even consider it is one of the dumbest things you've ever thought of. If you want the money, find a roommate through other means. As someone else said, most of them suck and you will want to throw them out at some point. But, naturally, only after a lot of drama and seeking of advice from us.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline griezzel

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #37 on: March 09, 2010, 06:06:21 PM »
Yes, if after all this advice you are still inclined to be the sweetheart you naturally are and invite this man to live with you, you simply MUST be honest ahead of time about a few things that could become huge problems instead of keeping them secret.

The most important issue is that of your medical marijuana, I'd say. I think it's a mistake to assume he is against it just because he is Christian and conservative. The most uncomfortable conservation would be one about sexual activities (given that you're both Americans - we are such prudes!). You're both grown men and hopefully mature enough to handle the facts the other has needs. He probably has something to the edge off, doncha think? (is there christian porn?) THAT shouldn't really be a problem, except perhaps a cramp in your porn activities. Do the bedrooms share a wall?

Depending on how well the two of you gel, and how much you already like and respect each other, I'd venture the biggest potential problem would come from having such different outlooks on life. Even the most casual remark from an ultra-conservative on some trivial news event can boil my juices, simply because of where it's coming from and the huge set assumptions that can lay behind little comments.

« Last Edit: March 09, 2010, 06:16:00 PM by griezzel »

Offline edfu

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #38 on: March 09, 2010, 06:09:01 PM »
I keep wondering when I should get the popcorn.    ;D
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Offline griezzel

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #39 on: March 09, 2010, 06:13:26 PM »
I keep wondering when I should get the popcorn.    ;D

Isn't it ALWAYS time for popcorn? I like mine with smoked paprika, onion and garlic powder, easy on the oil.

Hey, I need to go the store.

Offline blackwingbear

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #40 on: March 09, 2010, 08:26:08 PM »
hello,

one of my coworkers needs a place to live and im thinking of letting him live with me. only problem, big lifestyle differences.

cons:
i smoke pot, he doesn't know and won't approve
i'm poz, i'd like to keep that from him
i have a lot of porn.

Pot, porn and poz?? I'd say that having a STRAIGHT str8-guy move-in with you is probably a bad idea. But you sound FUN!  ;D
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline blackwingbear

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #41 on: March 09, 2010, 08:27:55 PM »
(is there christian porn?)

Yes, it's called "Davey & Goliath"
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline blackwingbear

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #42 on: March 09, 2010, 08:30:17 PM »
I ran an ad several years ago for a roommate in the newspaper--this was in '95 before internet.  98% of respondants were looking for sex.  I finally found one guy who was serious.  I didn't tell him I was gay.  He moved all his stuff in, found out I was gay, and was moving out within 6 hours of moving in.  Maybe I should have told him I was gay.  However, this is the funny part and I swear to God this is true... about 4 months later he knocked on my door very late and drunk.  He was wanting to mess around. 

Ah, so he really was a true straight guy. LOL
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline madbrain

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #43 on: March 09, 2010, 09:45:07 PM »
Why don't you just run an ad for a roommate that is poz?

Housing discrimination laws can make that difficult.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #44 on: March 09, 2010, 09:52:59 PM »
Housing discrimination laws can make that difficult.


Do housing discrimination laws run that way? I mean the law may prohibit discrimination on the grounds of disability, but say nothing about excluding the able bodied.

Also:


MtD

Offline leatherman

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #45 on: March 09, 2010, 10:01:56 PM »
Housing discrimination laws can make that difficult.
craigslist > housing > rooms & shares
list/look 4 "gay or gay-friendly roommate"

if you're just an individual looking for a roommate, you pretty much can specify what type of person you want to live with. ;) An apartment complex, however, would be subject to housing discrimination laws
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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #46 on: March 09, 2010, 10:13:44 PM »

i smoke pot, he doesn't know and won't approve

i probably wouldn't be able to smoke pot at home

I'd tell him to go cry his sorrows on some homeless guy's shoulder at the local shelter.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online tednlou2

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #47 on: March 09, 2010, 10:46:19 PM »
So, did ya?   ;)

On a serious note, I think Mecch (and others) have some good advice.  Skip this guy and get a roommate that's more compatible.

I did.  Even though I was upset he couldn't accept me, I couldn't turn it down.  He obviously wasn't totally straight and obviously had issues.  I hope he has worked that out and isn't living a secret double-life. 

Next2u, it seems most of us think it would be a bad idea.  It would be interesting to see how it goes if you do decide to take him in. 

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #48 on: March 09, 2010, 11:01:07 PM »
Meh!  Can't wait for some youtube updates of this mess.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline madbrain

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #49 on: March 10, 2010, 04:02:15 AM »
craigslist > housing > rooms & shares
list/look 4 "gay or gay-friendly roommate"

if you're just an individual looking for a roommate, you pretty much can specify what type of person you want to live with. ;) An apartment complex, however, would be subject to housing discrimination laws

Not so in California, where next2u lives. The exceptions to fair housing laws for roommates are narrow.
http://www.rentlaw.com/discrimination/california.htm

I think "medical condition" covers able bodied people as well as disabled. If you can't discriminate against poz people, why would you be allowed to discriminate against neg ? It's 2 sides of the same coin, if you ask me. But I'm not a lawyer.

 


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