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Author Topic: Did I pass it to my boyfriend?  (Read 4315 times)

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Offline mesu

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Did I pass it to my boyfriend?
« on: October 08, 2009, 01:41:27 AM »
I am a little worried...I m positive and have been on meds for more than 1 year. current VL is undetectable.  I have started dating this guy a month ago and we had sex (for the first time) with a condom last Wednesday. He also went down on me. I thought we were safe and risk of transmission is very low.

This week, he started not feeling well. He thought he had a cold/flu. He has headache, some sinuses and a bit of fever (not very high). Doctor said the nerve on his left jaw is causing the headache..I m just a bit paranoid if he is seroconverting...

I m getting a bit worried. any chance he got it from oral sex?

please help. thanks.
Jan/Feb 07 - infected :(
Sept3: cd4 162; 13.5% VL 24,000
Oct5: cd4 68 13.6%
Nov6: cd4 205  14.64%
Dec10,07: cd4 188  15.67%  VL: 9900
FEB15,08: cd4 242 18.62%
Mar10/08: cd4 219 15.64%  VL: 7300
May26,08: start Truvada and Sustiva
July 18,08: cd4 255, 18.50%, VL undetectable (<75)
Nov 4,08: cd4 380, 27.14%,
Feb 6,09: cd4 296, 22.7%,
May 26: cd4 351, 27%,
Aug 28: cd4 310, 28%,
Dec 2009: cd4 321, 35.67%,
March 2010: cd4 325, 32%,
June 2010: cd4 385, 29.5%,
Sept 2010: cd4 368, 30.75%,
Feb 2011: cd4 431, 43.1%,
Jun 2011: cd4 433, 30.93%,
Sept 2011: cd4 435,  36 %,
Jan 2012, cd4 467, 33.36%
May 2012: cd4 421, 38.21%,
Sept 2012: cd4 393, 30.23%,
VL: undetectable since July 08

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Did I pass it to my boyfriend?
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2009, 08:52:45 AM »
Mesu,

I moved your thread from the Am I Infected forum to the Woman's forum as this is the more appropriate place for you to post about your concerns. The Am I forum is only for people who are questioning their hiv negative status.

There's no way you would have infected him by letting him go down on you. Even if you weren't undetectable. With you being undetectable, there's absolutely no way.

There are other threads in this forum about oral sex and transmission - please check them out.

You're doing all you need to do to protect your partner's negative status, which is using condoms for intercourse. Going down on a woman is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Sometimes a cold/flu is just that - a cold/flu. Most of the time, in fact. We're getting into cold and flu season, so don't let his illness freak you out. It's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
« Last Edit: October 08, 2009, 08:54:19 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mesu

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Re: Did I pass it to my boyfriend?
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2009, 09:26:03 AM »
thank you Ann for your reply. This is the first time i started dating again since I was diagnosed 2 years ago...I know I m just a bit too paranoid. Since he is negative, I feel a bit stressed being intimate with him.
Jan/Feb 07 - infected :(
Sept3: cd4 162; 13.5% VL 24,000
Oct5: cd4 68 13.6%
Nov6: cd4 205  14.64%
Dec10,07: cd4 188  15.67%  VL: 9900
FEB15,08: cd4 242 18.62%
Mar10/08: cd4 219 15.64%  VL: 7300
May26,08: start Truvada and Sustiva
July 18,08: cd4 255, 18.50%, VL undetectable (<75)
Nov 4,08: cd4 380, 27.14%,
Feb 6,09: cd4 296, 22.7%,
May 26: cd4 351, 27%,
Aug 28: cd4 310, 28%,
Dec 2009: cd4 321, 35.67%,
March 2010: cd4 325, 32%,
June 2010: cd4 385, 29.5%,
Sept 2010: cd4 368, 30.75%,
Feb 2011: cd4 431, 43.1%,
Jun 2011: cd4 433, 30.93%,
Sept 2011: cd4 435,  36 %,
Jan 2012, cd4 467, 33.36%
May 2012: cd4 421, 38.21%,
Sept 2012: cd4 393, 30.23%,
VL: undetectable since July 08

Offline TabooPrincess

  • Member
  • Posts: 279
Re: Did I pass it to my boyfriend?
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2010, 11:56:43 AM »
Just out of interest does he know your status?  Wondering if intimacy would be easier if he did?
09/ 2008 - Seroconversion
11/2008 - Tested pos, cd4 640 vl 25400
12/2008 - cd4 794 vl 27798, 35%
03/2009 - cd4 844 vl 68846, 35%
06/2009 - cd4 476 vl 49151, 33% (pregnancy confirmed)
08/2009 - cd4 464 vl 54662, 32%
Started meds for pregnancy (Kaletra, AZT, Viread)
09/2009 - cd4 841 vl 3213, 42%
10/2009 - cd4 860 vl 1088, 41%
11/2009 - cd4 771 vl 563, 38%
12/2009 - cd4 885 vl 151 42%
Discontinued meds after baby born
02/2010 - cd4 841 vl 63781, 38%
05/2010 - cd4 1080 vl 113000, 39%
08/2010 - cd4 770 vl 109242
12/2010 - cd4 642 vl 111000, 34%
06/2011 - cd4 450 vl 222000, 33%
11/2011 - cd4 419 vl 212000, 24%
03/2012 - cd4 280 vl 118000, 26% (repeated Cd4 at 360)
05/2012 -cd4 360 vl 99,190
10/2012 Atripla, cd4 690, vl 80
12/2012 Darunavir, norvir, truvada, Cd4 680, vl u/d
07/2013 cd4 750,ud

Offline Lovinglife

  • Member
  • Posts: 24
  • Life is too short for fussing & fighting my friend
Re: Did I pass it to my boyfriend?
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2010, 12:43:18 PM »
Just out of interest does he know your status?  Wondering if intimacy would be easier if he did?

I have been positive for 25 years and my last two boyfriends were both negative.  The first one I dated for 6 years and the second for 5 1/2 (we just broke up)  I hate to admit it but we did not practice safe sex all the time and it always scared the hell out of me.  I still am friends with them both and they both recently had a test and they are both negative.

Like Ann said "Sometimes a cold/flu is just that - a cold/flu."  As long as you are open and honest in the relationship and the person you are with is fully aware of the risks involved please don't spend time worrying. 
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

Offline mesu

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Re: Did I pass it to my boyfriend?
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2010, 10:37:21 AM »
oh well, he didnt know my status as i thought it was not the right time to tell him as we were not that serious...i was still deciding if he was sincere and serious about the relationship...it turned that he is not..and we have already broken up for a few months now...

anyway, i was too paranoid and he didnt get anything from me.  time to move on.

thanks everyone for your support. :)
Jan/Feb 07 - infected :(
Sept3: cd4 162; 13.5% VL 24,000
Oct5: cd4 68 13.6%
Nov6: cd4 205  14.64%
Dec10,07: cd4 188  15.67%  VL: 9900
FEB15,08: cd4 242 18.62%
Mar10/08: cd4 219 15.64%  VL: 7300
May26,08: start Truvada and Sustiva
July 18,08: cd4 255, 18.50%, VL undetectable (<75)
Nov 4,08: cd4 380, 27.14%,
Feb 6,09: cd4 296, 22.7%,
May 26: cd4 351, 27%,
Aug 28: cd4 310, 28%,
Dec 2009: cd4 321, 35.67%,
March 2010: cd4 325, 32%,
June 2010: cd4 385, 29.5%,
Sept 2010: cd4 368, 30.75%,
Feb 2011: cd4 431, 43.1%,
Jun 2011: cd4 433, 30.93%,
Sept 2011: cd4 435,  36 %,
Jan 2012, cd4 467, 33.36%
May 2012: cd4 421, 38.21%,
Sept 2012: cd4 393, 30.23%,
VL: undetectable since July 08

 


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