Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 22, 2014, 10:56:56 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23518
  • Latest: 092071
Stats
  • Total Posts: 639735
  • Total Topics: 48561
  • Online Today: 221
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Possible HIV exposure  (Read 3623 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline brokenheart

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Possible HIV exposure
« on: December 21, 2010, 11:18:23 AM »
3-4 weeks ago i had a few encounters with this female I met off CL. We had been takling for almost 2 months beforehand she was from out of town and visiting, before we even hung out I asked her about her HIV status and she said she tested negative in october and had only been with her X for a year and a half.

Our first evening we had sex a few times with a condom and one time for maybe 2-3 mins without one. The next couple encounters we had about 3-4 hours of unprotected sex total. She had also had problems with her teeth grinding on my penis so I'm not sure if the trauma would make it easier for HIV to transmit but I think most of the grinding was on my shaft not my head.

I had a sore dry throat one morning soon after she left but that went away. I also had pain in my upper gums inside my upper teeth i mostly felt it while eating likely a oral ulcer for about a week. I've also had a rash for about the past 2 weeks. There is blotchiness, red flat spots, raised dots,
the rash has also been itchy at times. Since this weekend I have also developed a irritated throat(not sore) but it has lead me to coughing and clearing my throat. I've also had a loss of appetite getting full quite quickly for no reason as well as fatigue over the past couple weeks. I have had not had a fever.




here are a few pictures to scroll through of my rash I think im going to get tested next week at 4 weeks since my most recent exposure...

I'm looking for opinions on my rash and any other advice or comments. I've noticed small red spots and dots all over my body from my hands to my arms and legs albeit most of this rash has been around my torso upper chest , collar bone and neck area.

Thank you

« Last Edit: December 21, 2010, 01:29:34 PM by Ann »

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2010, 11:33:20 AM »
Your 3 month test will be conclusive.

Offline brokenheart

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2010, 11:39:00 AM »
Your 3 month test will be conclusive.

I can't wait until I can go get tested at 3 monts post exposure. It will be one month next monday, I've read that 90% test positive at 4 weeks so I think I'll go in then. Did you look at the rash pictures?

I've uploaded around 20 pictures or so over the past week to 10 days.

Has anyone who tested positive for HIV had a itchy rash around soon after their exposure?

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2010, 12:00:34 PM »
As you were told your 3 month post exposure test will be conclusive.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2010, 01:34:38 PM »
broken,

I removed the picture link you posted. We do not diagnose rashes here. If it's bothering you, show it to your doctor. But we can tell you that the rash that sometimes accompanies seroconversion does NOT itch.

Don't bother giving us lists of your symptoms. If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Neither the presence nor absence of symptoms will tell you a single thing about your hiv status. ONLY testing will.  We will not discuss symptoms with you. You should be discussing them with a doctor face to face.

The earliest you should test is at six weeks as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. A negative result at six weeks is highly unlikely to change but must be confirmed at the three month point.

You need to learn from this and start using condoms with no exceptions. As hiv is more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man you stand a good chance of testing negative, but a low risk is not no risk. You HAVE had a risk and you do need to test.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline brokenheart

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2010, 10:25:47 AM »
Thank you for your response Ann. I agree I do need to learn from this I haven't had the best condom habits in the past and that has got to change. I have read that the HIV rash can itch in some cases but I do certainly hope you're right and that it doesn't itch.

I've come to find out my friend lied to me and she had a BF all along she has also lied to me about a couple other things. Who know is she was willing to lie and cheat with me she likely could have been with other guys. Although she is adament that she has only been with her now X BF and me for 18 months and tested negative for HIV  in october. Therefore unless she is lying about her testing and/or sexual history the only way she could have given me hiv is if she was in the window peroid when she got tested.

Given that we met of CL too it would seem quite possible she met other guys off there when she came here for her trip. She even claims that this is the first time she's met anyone of that website.

I do agree symptoms are very unreliable and self diagnosos is a mistake but it's hard for me to ignore these symptoms given when they arrived after my possible exposure.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2010, 11:10:01 AM »
Broken,

It's sheer folly to try and rely on what another person says about their sexual or testing history. People lie or stretch the truth all the time, especially when it comes to sexual matters.

What you need to rely on is condoms. Every time. No exceptions. It doesn't matter what a person tells you or how healthy a person looks or what they do for a living or whatever. Use condoms and it won't matter if they have hiv or not. It's that simple.

And don't forget that condoms also protect against the other more easily transmitted infections like chlamydia. There are very high rates of chlamydia in the young adult population, so protect yourself and make sure you get regular complete STI testing. Not all STIs will necessarily give you symptoms, so testing is the way to go.

Please remember that people are not high or low or no risk, activities are high or low or no risk. It's not who you do, it's how you do it. Try to remember to keep those three letters - o - h - w - in the right order. Not who, how. And condoms are how.

You do stand a good chance of testing negative in relation to this situation. Hiv is much more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man. I was with a negative man for eighteen months before I was diagnosed and he continued to test negative, despite the fact that we didn't use condoms until after my diagnosis. So we're not just blowing smoke up your ass when we tell you it's more difficult. It's not impossible though, so good luck with your test. I do expect it to be negative.

Ann
« Last Edit: December 23, 2010, 11:12:12 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline brokenheart

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2010, 08:23:42 AM »
Yes people do lie quite often, it was my mistake to trust this female. It is pretty sad how easily some people lie about that kind of stuff.

I agree I need to use condoms all the time but I'm not 100% in confident in my ability to be consistent all of the time with them therefore I'm leaning towards just abstaining from sex all together. All I really want is a meaningful relationship but I just end up making stupid choices and putting myself though a lot of unneeded worry.

I've been trying to keep my mind busy occupied, as to not get too caught up in worrying about possibly being infected with HIV.

I'm 4 weeks post exposure right now I've heard that about 90% of people test positive for HIV 4 weeks post exposure that number jumps to 95% by 6 weeks. It's tempting to go in now but I'll wait another 2 weeks and after that it's another 4-5 days for the results.

I do agree HIV is hard to get but you can still get it from just one act, let alone a dozen or so like I did.I am uncircumsized so my risk is somewhat higher. What slightly worries me about this partner of mine when I mentioned HIV she said something like you have a STD so it's easier to transmit. This sort of shocked me firstly her knowing about HIV and then her saying I had an STD if I have anythin how would she know I had anything unless she gave something. Oh and the fact that when I brought up HIV after we had our encounters she said AIDS isn't even in my vocabulary I was like it should it be, I know she loves anal sex too so that would put her at an increased risk. This just added to the strangeness if it wasn't in he vocabulary how in the world would she know that having another STD would increase your risk of being infected.

On the symptom front my cough is now all but gone. I am still getting red spots and dots around my chest(mainly upper) as well as around my collar bone and on my ,shoulder/neck/trapezius areas. With that said the rash has seemed to improve overall, the bulk of it is gone. My appetite is also down I'm down about 4lbs in the past few weeks despite me forcing as much as I can down with my appetite. I've also noticed some extra aches and pains in my body which I normally don't have. I'm very aware and observant hence why I notice some fairly subtle changes those combined with the more obvious one make it a challenge to not let them fuel any anxiety about possibly having HIV. No one is going to ever suggest you having HIV due to symptoms that would be totally ludicrous, that and other reasons make it fiarly pointless to get overly focused on any symptoms when it relates to HIV.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2010, 08:47:25 AM »
Broken,

Another reason why we refuse to get into discussing symptoms is because many people never experience one single symptom of primary hiv infection. If we were to put any emphasis on symptoms, people who have had an actual risk but have not had symptoms might think they don't need to test. Nothing could be further from the truth. Symptoms or the lack of symptoms are meaningless when it comes to hiv infection. ONLY testing at the appropriate time will reveal your accurate hiv status.

Despite all the details you have added, you still have an excellent chance of testing negative. For example, the partner I mentioned in my post above (#6) is also uncircumcised. And he's still hiv negative.

You need to stop micro-examining your body and get productively busy while you wait to test. And by productively busy I do not mean surfing the internet looking for things to fuel your hiv fears.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline brokenheart

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2010, 01:47:37 PM »
Thanks Ann, you make some good points in your first paragraph of your last post. I agree regardless of symptoms if you've been exposed you need to get tested so you can move on whatever your status may be and protect others if indeed you're HIV positive.

My life isn't exactly working out right now I'm a failure in many ways if by chance I turned out to be HIV positive I'm not sure I could cope. My body is really sensitive to some medicines especially ones that are toxic whick makes me think if I had to take haart the side effects wouldn't be managable.

I know examining your body isn't a good thing for the most part I just notice these symptoms I don't find them by searching my body from head to toe.

I haven't worked out in a few days here and my appetite has been down. I almost wish I could sleep forever and never wake up.

I know despite my symptoms and my situation just about everything points to be being HIV negative except a negative result(well I had one a october but one since my last exposure) Despite this I am preparing myself for be possibly being HIV positive it's a crazy world and i've learned to expect the unexpected.

Online Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,707
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2010, 02:35:50 PM »
And I just want to point out that Ann has reminded you that you still have an excellent chance of testing negative.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2010, 06:45:07 AM »
Broken,

You know what? Something you said really pisses me off. You said that people need to know their status in order to "protect others". Sod that. It is YOUR responsibility to protect YOURSELF. YOU chose to fuck this woman without a condom. If you end up hiv positive over it, it is YOUR responsibility and YOUR responsibility ALONE.

And if you do end up positive due to the choices YOU made, then you'll deal with it just like the rest of us do. Spare me the "I can't handle it" crap. Hiv isn't the death sentence it once was and I will not allow you or anyone else to tarnish the memories of the people who passed back when it WAS a death sentence with your whiny crap in 2010. Just be glad it isn't 1985 when you got your diagnosis, if you do get a positive diagnosis.

Which, by the way, is unlikely, but possible. And if you do remain hiv negative, start using condoms and stop trying to put the blame or responsibility for YOUR health on other people.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline brokenheart

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2011, 10:04:43 AM »
We clearly have a difference in opinion if she lied to me that is wrong and I got played, sure I allowed myself to get played but if this female knew she could potentially be held liable in the court of law.

My health is mainly my responsibility I'll admit that, however I believe there is shared responsibility during sex and to a lesser degree life in general. Why would the police ever put someone in jail for marijuana possesion when the person getting high isn't effecting anyone but themselves? Their taking a shared responsibility for the betterment of society. How about drunk driving you're putting your health AND MORE IMPORTANTLY OTHERS at risk when you get behind the wheel intoxicated and if caught you will be punished.

Where I'm from a person can be Charged with Aggravated Sexual assault if they have tested positive for HIV and they go around having unprotected sex without disclosing their HIV status. A judge ruled that a person cannot consent to unprotected sex with someone who is HIV +(tested positive/diagnosed) without their HIV+ positive partner notifying them their HIV status as being positive, therefore a charge of aggravated sexual assault can be laid and it can even be upped to murder if that individual dies of an HIV related illness.

I get that with the total responsibility on yourself philosophy it lets you take by control using condoms or abstaining from sex all together. As well as it doesn't let get caught up in being bitter and resentful if you do end up infected about the person who did it to you. I'm sure some people get infected and their like well shit this person didn't tell me so why should I tell any of my partners it's almost like a sick game of revenge or something strange like that and then they go out and spread the virus to others.

You know the saying treat others the way you'd like to be treated. I've found over the years it's quite common for people to treat others the way they feel they've been treated, it's quite obvious if you think about it.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this. If I turn out HIV+ I will take responsibility for making bad choices and trusting the wrong person but I'm not going to shoulder all of the blame if I've been lied to and deceived especially if said person knew or strongly suspected they may have HIV for whatever reason.

Also I don't appreciate you just saying it's whiney crap when you don't know the specifics of my life and my circumstances, everybody deals with stuff differently. Take War for example many soldiers go to war and come back with PTSD while many of their comrades fighting beside them return ok. Also some people have horrible reactions to some medicine I had a very bad reaction to this medicine I took it was slightly toxic but nothing too nasty and I'm still disfigured because of it, my body will never fully heal. Even now when I take minorly harsh stuff like certain supplements and pills it can make my skin condition a lot worse. Even this dermatoligist told me I wish there was something I could do to help you out but there's a couple things that help a bit but that's it.

Anyways I won't go on I'm quite unique with my underlying health problems so it's hard for someone to understand especially over the internet.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2011, 10:16:11 AM »
It is all your fault. Had you used a condom you wouldn't be in this predicament. Except the blame in what you do and hold yourself accountable.

Online Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,707
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2011, 11:01:25 AM »
Responsibility begins with yourself. As long as you consistently without exception use a condom everytime you have vaginal or anal intercourse you will be well protected. It's just that simple.

You will then be one less person at risk and the only way this epidemic will ultimately ever be gotten under control is by that kind of condom use  becoming a widespread practice.

So let's quit the frabber jabber and defensive excuses and explanations and focus on the bottom line: use condoms all the time. Period.

Andy Velez

Offline brokenheart

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2011, 08:58:15 PM »
I do agree you can only control yourself and abstaining from sex unless there is a condom used every time for vaginal or anal intercourse is the way to keep yourself empowered. The only exception is a trusting monogamous relationship where both of you have been tested months after any other sexual contacts.

Yes had I used a condom I wouldn't be in this predicament, however, if I turned out HIV positive and was lied to and deceived I wouldn't say "it's all my fault". If I have HIV yes my choices could have prevented me from getting HIV but that is not the same thing as it being "all my fault".

Let's say I'm out driving late at night and I don't have a seatbelt on and some drunk driver crosses the median and hits me head on and I die. Is it all my fault I died because I didn't have a seatbelt on? I certainly wouldn't say its "it's all my fault" sure with a seatbelt I could have likely lived but without the irresponsible actions of the drunk driver there would have not been a crash.

Anyways I am going to get tested next week it will be 6 weeks post exposure, my friend has flip flopped on getting tested and is now moving here. She said she would go next week but now with her moving she's like I'm switching to my old doctor and I can't get tested until march or something. I mentioned the free STD clinic where you walk-in whenever and she had no interest in going there.

While we may not see eye to eye on everything I know most of you guys mean well and are trying to help curb this epidemic, share knowledge and help people cope so I commend you guys for doing that.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Possible HIV exposure
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2011, 09:05:21 PM »
Don't even use the spin on drinking and driving. You were at fault. Most people don't even know their status. She could tell you she was negative and been positive but without her being tested she's in the clear. So just except the fact that you screwed up and if you make it through this, this time don't do it again. Always use condoms.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.