Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 01, 2014, 08:24:52 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 640711
  • Total Topics: 48668
  • Online Today: 241
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Insecure in the Relationship  (Read 1190 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline confuzedNY

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Insecure in the Relationship
« on: February 23, 2010, 11:20:52 AM »
Good Morning All,

So I have recently been diagnosed as HIV +, I have been in a relationship with this guy for about 1.5 years now. Everything was going good, of course the ups and downs of a normal relationship. I told him about my status about 2 months ago and of course his initial reaction was expected, he was angry, shocked, sad. I pushed him away for a bit since when he would call me he was always very mean to me and I didn't want to deal with that. We probably went about 3 weeks without having much communication as when we would it would just not end up in a good way, it was understood that he would go his way and I would go my way after this. 

Until one weekend I asked him if he wanted to go out and handle some errands with me which he agreed to, it was pretty awkward as our interaction was not the same as it has always been there was some uneasiness from his part and my part. After all was said and done we hung out together for the entire weekend and just talked about everything. Once the weekend was done I guess we both started thinking that what we had was a good thing and you think of that quote that said "You never know how good something is until its gone" so after that weekend we started communicating some more and that's when he said he would like to keep on with what we had but of course we would have to talk in details about it. So anyway we talked about it and here we are still together.

The one thing about all this is we have not had sex as we usually had prior to all this and that is what concerns me. I know its going to take some time for him to feel comfortable again to have sex as we were before I always have this thought and feeling in the back of my head that he may go out and get it elsewhere or end up meetting someone else and in the end il will end up being hurt.

I know there are some people out there that have gone though this and are going through it as we speak and would like to get your thoughts on this. I mean should i really be concern or could i just be overthinking,the situation, what would be the ideal time to wait? I mean I don't just want to have a platonic relationship with someone where we will just kiss and cuddle and not get into the sexual intercourse which i know we both need and want.

What are your thoughts on this? Any help is appreciated..

Thanks

ConfuzedNY


Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Insecure in the Relationship
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2010, 12:58:38 PM »
Hi Confused,

I've moved your thread from the Someone I Care About forum into the Living forum. The forum you originally posted in is more for people who are hiv negative but have some sort of close relationship with someone who is positive.

There are plenty of poz/neg relationships out there and the main thing you need to do is to use condoms for intercourse. Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

Has your bf been tested? If he hasn't tested and tested recently, at least three month past his last incident of unprotected intercourse, for all you know he may be positive too and not know it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline confuzedNY

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Insecure in the Relationship
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2010, 01:14:43 PM »
Thank you Ann

I apologize for the confusion, and to answer your questions.

Yes he has been tested, and we have never had unprotected sex during our relationship.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Insecure in the Relationship
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2010, 01:46:36 PM »
Confused, no need to apologise.

That's good to hear about your bf. Like I said earlier, just make sure you're using condoms and he'll be fine.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.