Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 01, 2014, 07:36:52 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23105
  • Latest: vqlz
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632617
  • Total Topics: 47919
  • Online Today: 263
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 3
Guests: 164
Total: 167

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)  (Read 1717 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,818
Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« on: February 18, 2010, 01:41:12 PM »
 SERENITY 

Just before the funeral services,
the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..
But, by the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,
“For fast relief”


THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference..


Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others.. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!


Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing!!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,699
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2010, 02:03:25 PM »


  LOL very funny.

  Thanks Jody
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2010, 02:08:18 PM »
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference..

I had not heard that one before. Good one!

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,065
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2010, 02:23:06 PM »
THE SENILITY PRAYER
;D and  :D

Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
my grandmother turns 93 this summer and still drives - drives better than her daughter does (my mom) who's only 66. :D Nana, driving much more like me, the ex-courier, is a speed demon too.  :D
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,109
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2010, 03:35:06 PM »
;D and  :D
my grandmother turns 93 this summer and still drives - drives better than her daughter does (my mom) who's only 66. :D Nana, driving much more like me, the ex-courier, is a speed demon too.  :D

We had to take the keys away from my Gran because she kept getting lost. Well that didnt stop her, she just had new keys made and off she went, lost again. So we took her car away from her, well that didnt stop her, she hoofed it down to the corner and bought another car, and off she went got lost again. so we finally put her in a lock-down care facility...yep, she broke out and took off on foot with her bag of "stuff". Thank God we found her. Poor Gran, It's hell getting old.

Jody, those were hillarious, thanks for the laugh.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,065
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2010, 03:57:04 PM »
Poor Gran, It's hell getting old.
My great-great grandmother lived to 95; my great grandmother to 99. Grandmother is only showing a few signs of slowing down now that her other 7 sibs passed away (all in their mid to late 90s).

There I was thinking I was going to be checking out by 40; but now I've lived to almost be 48 and for the first time had a health problem that wasn't HIV-related. The doc told me the slight decrease in my vision acuity is simply old age taking it's toll. Egads! :o since I seem to get a lot of genes from that side of the family, the meds seem to be working pretty good finally after all these years, and a whole host of other things haven't killed me yet, I guess there's a chance I could possibly be hanging around a lot, lot longer. ::) :D I guess that's okay too. It's not like I was going to die young and beautiful back when I was 34 suffering from that wasting syndrome and PCP.  :D ;D
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,868
  • Vegas baby!
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2010, 05:40:35 PM »
We had to take the keys away from my Gran because she kept getting lost. Well that didnt stop her, she just had new keys made and off she went, lost again. So we took her car away from her, well that didnt stop her, she hoofed it down to the corner and bought another car, and off she went got lost again. so we finally put her in a lock-down care facility...yep, she broke out and took off on foot with her bag of "stuff". Thank God we found her. Poor Gran, It's hell getting old.

That's not supposed to be funny I know, but I did laugh when done reading.  Gran sure was a trooper.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2010, 03:38:36 AM »
Jody, you're a cheeky young man and Jan is gonna give you a spanking! ;D

I loved the Senility Prayer too. Gonna print that one off and put it on the fridge.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,208
  • Ninja Please
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2010, 03:57:28 AM »
The Senility Prayer is a winner.

I think I'm gonna have it fashioned into a Mezzuzah. :)

MtD

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2010, 11:29:53 AM »
I turn 66 this year.  Last time I was in to my ID doctor he had the nerve to say that if I lost weight maybe I would have some wrinkles. I didnt laugh at the time.  Cause the docs are trying to get me to loose weight.
But it is funny.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2010, 05:22:38 PM »
I turn 66 this year.  Last time I was in to my ID doctor he had the nerve to say that if I lost weight maybe I would have some wrinkles. I didnt laugh at the time.  Cause the docs are trying to get me to loose weight.
But it is funny.

FFS Joel, I knew you were older than me, but I didn't realise you were ancient.


:D

Aw, love you anyway!
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2010, 06:15:35 PM »
Ann
You are too kind.
Not only am I turning 66 but I have also just retired...officially...as I will be collecting my retirement benefits fron Social Security starting this month.  Yea....now my health care is paid for.  I was self employed and for the past 35 years I have been buying my own health insurance.  It got to be awfully expensive in the last few years.  Now I can let my retirement benefits pay it.
Hugs
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,065
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2010, 06:24:58 PM »
Not only am I turning 66
yes you are since you're on the bday list  ;)
your name will show up in the April annoucement ;D

hugs,
mikie
(who keeps his eyes open for people mentioning their bday now that he's responsible for the list. Alan did such a good job though, it's all mainly just dble-checking on my part.)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Getting older (not just meant for Jan)
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2010, 07:49:57 PM »

Not only am I turning 66 but I have also just retired...officially...as I will be collecting my retirement benefits fron Social Security starting this month.  Yea....now my health care is paid for. 


Hey Joel, I really hope you enjoy your retirement. Goodness knows you've earned it!

Hugs etc......
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.