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Author Topic: freaking out and upset  (Read 5803 times)

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Offline PeteNYNJ

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freaking out and upset
« on: February 13, 2010, 01:48:31 AM »
Hey gang

I know it is late (on EST) but I need to vent/talk.  Today I went for an ultrasound due to the fact that my liver function test was elevated, I have some pain after I eat in that area, and most of you know my diarrhea problems.  Well, the test itself was painless even though the tech was a bitch.  She said there is a "significant mass on my liver that is connected to my gallbladder but your doctor will tell you what that mean" 

I am so afraid it is cancer.  I thought she would tell me your levels were high because you drank like a fish or your meds are causing you to have a fatty liver but he showed me...there is a mass the shape of a golfball on my liver.

ugh....so sad

Pete

Offline joemutt

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2010, 01:54:20 AM »
She shouldn't have told you that. When will you see the doctor?
Wishing you will be alright. Hugs.

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2010, 02:06:06 AM »
full disclosure

I basically beat her into telling me something.  It wanst her place but I was so nervous. 

Offline joemutt

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2010, 02:14:26 AM »
That's understandable, too. Try not to beat yourself up about it and wait for the doctor.
It's easy to say but try to relax for now.

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2010, 02:18:51 AM »
Thanks Joe :) 

ARHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH   

that is a primal type :)

Offline lylanova

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2010, 02:21:07 AM »
Hi... just wanted to send a hug.
Let's wait and see... I know it's hard to wait... but... try to say yourself you will be stronger than whatever it is.

"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am "
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

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Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2010, 02:27:07 AM »
thanks

please just let me vent even if it is irrational. 

I can't have cancer.  My aunt last year died of cancer. I love her so much.  She had stroke before death that was horrible.  I miss her so much.

ugh...I felt so powerless then and right now I feel similar

I know I am being a drama queen.  I just need to say it to you guys instead of sleeping on it or telling my folks.

I wll feel better in the am

Pete

Offline Tempeboy

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2010, 02:48:48 AM »
Hey Pete,

It is possible that you have gallstones that have travelled to your common bile duct and caused inflammation.  This would explain your symtpms and also the location of the mass - not that I am a doctor.  The term mass is used to describe lots of things - including zits and constipation! ( obviously not in your case )

When is your appointment with your doctor?  Can you bring it forward?
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Offline emeraldize

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2010, 07:15:18 AM »
Hi Pete,

I think venting IS rational---it's the place to put all your concerns and worst-case predictions. It's a way to direct all that adrenaline.

By the time you read this, I hope you've had some sleep...and I hope you hear from the doctor soon.

When are you suppposed to get word?

Em

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2010, 07:50:50 AM »
You are not being a drama queen. I hope it turns out to be something benign. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Online BT65

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2010, 07:54:58 AM »
Pete, whenever we're upset by something, we should talk (or post) about it.  That's how the feelings of doom get a bit alleviated. 

That tech, whether or not you "bullied" her, should not have told you anything about what the ultrasound was showing.  That was totally wrong.  I realize you're probably sleeping now, but when do you talk to the doctor? 

Hopefully when you wake today, you'll be feeling some better.  Just try not to get a fatalistic view of this finding, as you know that will only make things worse.  Keep venting if you need to, and try to do something today to take your mind off this for awhile.
 Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2010, 07:57:43 AM »
Pete, I don't think that you are being dramatic.   Venting here is more than fine, that's part of the reason why support forums exist... so please keep us updated.  Hopefully everything is OK.  Wishing you the best.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2010, 08:51:40 AM »


   Pete,

      I can totally understand your fear and needing to vent, get that stuff off your chest.  Please keep us updated.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2010, 01:50:11 PM »
Hi Pete:
Sorry u are going thru stress.  Just to let u know - it is best to wait for doctor to let u know what may be up.  A few year ago they say two "masses" on my liver and both turned out to be cysts -- doc said almost like internal birthmarks.  Also, my partner was in hospital last week and they told him he had mass on his pancreas --- turned out to be a cyst as well..... Best to u -- keep venting -- and let us know what doc says
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10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
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Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2010, 02:49:13 PM »
hey guys

Thanks for the word of encouragement.   I woke today and feel MUCH better. 

I was thinking about it and this "mass" might have been there forever so no need to threat about it until I talk to the doc.

It take 3 business days for the test results to get to the doctor so I will hear more on Thursday.

I will keep all of you posted.

Thanks again :)

Offline megasept

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #15 on: February 13, 2010, 02:53:08 PM »
You are not being a drama queen. I hope it turns out to be something benign. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Bona Fide Drama Queen? There are a few here (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), but you really don't qualify.

seriously, we are glad you posted this. keep us up to date; we do care.

-steven (aka  8)  megasept)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2010, 02:53:44 PM »
Pete,

Chances are if the mass on your liver was something serious they wouldn't be letting you hang out like this.

MtD

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2010, 03:15:48 PM »
I'm gonna play psychic and assume you need to have your gallbladder removed.  You said yuo were having pain.  Was it severe stabbing pain mostly at night or after large meals?  Directly underneath your right rib?

Hope your feeling okay.

Offline northernguy

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #18 on: February 13, 2010, 03:28:07 PM »
Hang in there Pete.  The hardest part is waiting to meet with your doc.
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
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Offline Basquo

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #19 on: February 13, 2010, 07:07:48 PM »
The tech can't tell from the imaging if it's actually attached to your liver or not.  The radiologist who interprests it might not even be able to tell. With masses that size there's usually a lot of "acoustic shadowing" and what they hopefully did was a Doppler study so they can see if there's any blood flow. They might send you for a CT of the abdomen next, or they might send you straight to surgery. I think you can work on preparing yourself for surgery, but the big "C" is never a sure thing until the pathologist looks at what they take out.

All that said, I'm hoping for the best news and relief for your pain. That's what gall bladder surgery is for. And don't sweat it just yet!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #20 on: February 13, 2010, 07:26:35 PM »
PeteNYNJ, have you heard of fatty liver? Wait on your doctor to explain everything to you. Don't get yourself in an anxiety spin.. Looking to hear about your outcome.

Offline Jody

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #21 on: February 13, 2010, 09:28:36 PM »
As others have stated Pete, no reason to put the cart before the horse, most of the things we think about in anticipation don't turn out to be anything, so the news may be that it is nothing at all, or something minor.

Good luck and be well.

Jody
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 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline tednlou2

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2010, 04:34:20 AM »
I wish ya good news.  I've known of people who were told they had something serious and turned out to be nothing.  My mom was told there was something serious on her lung x-ray, but turned out to be some kind of shadow or something. 

It very well could be large gall-stones causing the "mass".  We can all say encouraging things, but I can only imagine what you're going through.  I would probably freak out.  In the unlikely event it turned out to be the big C, you've caught it early.  And, as others said, many masses are benign. 

I'll be thinking about ya--I know that isn't much help.   

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2010, 04:58:01 AM »
it is a lot of help

I think it is my gallbaldder.  I ate a sloppy joe today and the pain was so much I was doubled over.  My sis, who is a nurse and had hers removed, told me this is your gallbladder so stop worrying.  She actually did some kind of push on my belly that hurt much for a second buy I feel so much better since then.  She told me she thinks by doing that she moved a gallstone.

That may all be bullshit but I do feel much better.

we shall see what happends.

Offline Theyer

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #24 on: February 14, 2010, 05:30:43 AM »
Pete, take care pleased that your sister was on hand , the tech should not off said anything let alone a statement so ambiguous.
m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #25 on: February 14, 2010, 06:03:38 AM »
it is a lot of help

I think it is my gallbaldder.  I ate a sloppy joe today and the pain was so much I was doubled over.  My sis, who is a nurse and had hers removed, told me this is your gallbladder so stop worrying.  She actually did some kind of push on my belly that hurt much for a second buy I feel so much better since then.  She told me she thinks by doing that she moved a gallstone.

That may all be bullshit but I do feel much better.

we shall see what happends.

Heh, I told you I was psychic :D

If she thinks it's your gallbladder and it's happening directly after you eat, that's probably what it is.  There is also a correlation between gallbladder problems and hiv infection.  I've had mine out.   A gallbladder attack is probably the most uncomfortable pain I've ever suffered through in my entire life.  They can take it out really quickly and easily however, so you'll be well on your way.  Good luck bub!

Offline bear60

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #26 on: February 14, 2010, 02:10:30 PM »
Hey Pete
You will be fine. 
Hugs
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #27 on: February 14, 2010, 03:20:20 PM »


   Pete, glad you are feeling better. 
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2010, 05:51:27 PM »
Thanks guys

What was I thinking eating a Sloppy Joe with my stomach issue?  LOL

Old habits die hard I guess

Pete

Offline Inchlingblue

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2010, 07:07:28 PM »
Thanks guys

What was I thinking eating a Sloppy Joe with my stomach issue?  LOL

Old habits die hard I guess

Pete

It's probably good because you were able to see a direct link that seems to indicate gall stones/gallbladder.

It might not be a bad idea, if you can stand it, to test it again by eating something fatty. This is one of the ways to be able to pinpoint gallbladder issues. Maybe if your case is more intense this might not be a good idea, hard for anyone else to make that call.

I had slight gallbladder issues that have now resolved and I think in my case, because it wasn't that serious, what helped was adding lecithin to my supplements and taking 1 to 2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil at night before bed (this helps move the bile). Beets and beet juice is also very good for these issues, as are cucumber juice, apple juice and aloe vera.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2010, 07:19:49 PM by Inchlingblue »

Online BT65

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #30 on: February 15, 2010, 07:28:53 AM »
Pete, I had my gallbladder out the 2nd year after being diagnosed (which would have been 1990), and I can tell you, it's the easiest surgery I've ever been through.  I don't know what it's like today, but when I had mine done, I only had to stay overnight in the hospital. 

Gallbladder attacks are extremely painful; the only thing I can think of that matches the pain I experienced is childbirth.  Hopefully the doctor will be getting in touch real soon, and these issues can be resolved. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #31 on: February 15, 2010, 12:32:07 PM »
Pete, I had my gallbladder out the 2nd year after being diagnosed (which would have been 1990), and I can tell you, it's the easiest surgery I've ever been through.  I don't know what it's like today, but when I had mine done, I only had to stay overnight in the hospital. 

Gallbladder attacks are extremely painful; the only thing I can think of that matches the pain I experienced is childbirth.  Hopefully the doctor will be getting in touch real soon, and these issues can be resolved. 
 

In 1990 were they doing them laparascopically yet?  My sister got hers out in I think 89  or 88 and they made this huge gash in fact she still has a scar.  You can't even see the scars from where they went in for mine and I only had the surgery 3 years ago?

Offline iking2009

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #32 on: February 15, 2010, 01:58:02 PM »
Hey gang

I know it is late (on EST) but I need to vent/talk.  Today I went for an ultrasound due to the fact that my liver function test was elevated, I have some pain after I eat in that area, and most of you know my diarrhea problems.  Well, the test itself was painless even though the tech was a bitch.  She said there is a "significant mass on my liver that is connected to my gallbladder but your doctor will tell you what that mean" 

I am so afraid it is cancer.  I thought she would tell me your levels were high because you drank like a fish or your meds are causing you to have a fatty liver but he showed me...there is a mass the shape of a golfball on my liver.

ugh....so sad

Pete
Whoa..I hope all is well with you 4real
"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory."
-- Rita Mae Brown

Online BT65

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #33 on: February 15, 2010, 05:34:35 PM »
 

In 1990 were they doing them laparascopically yet?  My sister got hers out in I think 89  or 88 and they made this huge gash in fact she still has a scar.  You can't even see the scars from where they went in for mine and I only had the surgery 3 years ago?

Yes, I had it done laparoscopically.  In fact, during the first 4 years of being poz, I had four surgeries (gallbladder included) that was laparoscopic.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline GNYC09

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #34 on: February 15, 2010, 06:24:25 PM »
I'm joining this a little late in the game but want TO wish you luck.  I know you won't know what is going on for sure until Thursday but, in the meantime, you could try a gallbladder diet to see if it helps.  I found it on a site called "www.gallbladderattack.com" (?!)  :o

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #35 on: February 15, 2010, 06:31:18 PM »
Gallbladderattack.com eh? Always good to read the "about us" link on such sites:


Deborah Graefer, L.Ac. M.T.O.M.

Graduating magna cum laude from Pacific College of Oriental Medicine in San Diego, California in 1994, with a Masters in Traditional Oriental Medicine Debbie was licensed by the State of California in September of the same year.


MtD

Offline tednlou2

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #36 on: February 15, 2010, 07:02:05 PM »
I was talking to a friend who was having moles checked out.  The doc told him he thought they were cancerous.  After biopsy, they were fine.  So, another example of being told something is worse than it is.

It sounds like your gall bladder.  My brother has this problem.  Everytime he eats, he has pain around liver and has to use the bathroom.  I even get the pain and rumbles and bathroom stuff sometimes after eating.  After eating chinese and then a Little Debbie Oatmeal Pie over the wknd, my stomach went nuts with bowels rumbling and so much pain.  I think many of us have issues, but others are much worse.

About the laparoscopic removal, I've heard that it is much easier and ya don't have to be cut open, but I think I've heard there can be more complications.  I may be remembering this wrong.  Anyone else know?  Regardless, let us know how ya do and what happens with that "mass".

Offline darkerpozz

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #37 on: February 16, 2010, 01:29:28 AM »
Pete,
It is so much easier to tell someone else that things will work and to keep a positive attitude. Things go down much easier with a smile I guess it's less stress on the face. My thoughts are with you.

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #38 on: March 05, 2010, 02:05:44 AM »
Hello All

I got my results back a few days ago....Fatty Liver Disease and gallstones.  Doc said the FLD could be controlled with diet (I am Fatty too) and the gallbladder can wait to come out. (they are small).

Feeling MUCH better

Pete

Offline bigpa

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #39 on: March 05, 2010, 02:16:21 AM »
All the best. Hopefully it is nothing serious.

Offline blackwingbear

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #40 on: March 08, 2010, 04:41:00 AM »
Hello All

I got my results back a few days ago....Fatty Liver Disease and gallstones.  Doc said the FLD could be controlled with diet (I am Fatty too) and the gallbladder can wait to come out. (they are small).

Feeling MUCH better

Pete

*grin* Good.
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline next2u

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Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #41 on: March 09, 2010, 10:56:40 PM »
definitely better than the alternatives. ill take the best case scenario any day.

take care pete.

best,
d
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oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Hellraiser

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  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #42 on: March 09, 2010, 10:59:27 PM »
Hello All

I got my results back a few days ago....Fatty Liver Disease and gallstones.  Doc said the FLD could be controlled with diet (I am Fatty too) and the gallbladder can wait to come out. (they are small).

Feeling MUCH better

Pete

Actually meant to reply to this a week or two ago.  I will caution you that I had some gallstone distress about a year and a half before having mine removed.  I knew what it was and didn't adjust my diet.  Over time the attacks got worse, the pain more intense, and of course it led up to the organ being removed.  I'm not sure if you'll go through the same process, but basically you want to cut your fat intake down to almost nothing.  Specifically very greasy or deep fried foods (which are what will upset the gallbladder the most).  If you ever get to the point where it's waking you up in the middle of the night you're probably headed toward having it removed.

Offline marc11864

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  • Posts: 440
  • I apologize for nothing!
Re: freaking out and upset
« Reply #43 on: December 21, 2010, 08:17:09 PM »
I know this was awhile ago but I'm having some issues myself now and wanted to give this a bump as I am pretty sure they are gallbladder related.

I was wondering how things turned out. Did you have surgery? Any issues prior to this issue regarding low Vitamin D levels?

Thanks
Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.

 


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