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Author Topic: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine  (Read 3965 times)

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Offline jazij1

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  • Posts: 26
  • I have been + since 1987 & Im a pre-op Transsexual
    • my yahoo 360 profile page
After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« on: February 11, 2010, 12:05:05 PM »
I know I know if they cant handle my status then their not worth my time. It's just difficult to be Poz, Blk and Transgendered. 3 strikes. And I guess I'm out. Don't get me wrong my life is full I'm in recovery Ive been reunited with my family all that. It's just hell I'm 40  beautiful and now another Valentines day is coming again and still I haven't met anyone of substance. Just a bunch of knucklehead's. I realize I didn't pick the most glamorous life to lead, but damn. I'm not getting any younger and don't know how many more years or months or weeks or days I can keep sucking this shit up. I've done all the "websites" and then theres that awkwardness where I have to disclose my status and get prepared for yet another rejection. Maybe I should just go to a animal shelter and adopt all the cats and get this old lady with a house full of cats scenario over with. I'm grateful as hell that I'm alive... Just never thought I'd hafta do it single.
I've spent half my life tryin to get rid of my dick and the rest of my life tryin to get my hands on one!

Peace!

Jazi :-)

Offline bear60

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  • Posts: 4,104
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2010, 12:18:08 PM »
You talk as if being single is a disease.  In fact you have been very lucky to be alive and well in 2010.
If I were you, I would talk to some of the great women here who might have better insights into dating.  You do date as a woman looking for a man...right? 
There is even a womens forum. 
Most of the men here express the same frustration with NOT finding anyone to date after their diagnosis.   So its really an HIV issue and not so much a gender issue to my way of thinking.

That said, if you live a full life and are happy with yourself as you are......then you dont HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING. 
Just my thoughts.

Oh...and       HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2010, 12:30:55 PM »
Hey sweetheart jazij1.  I'm also 22 yrs poz, white and not transgendered and I still don't have a Valentine either.  I figure it just saves me money on chocolates, flowers and a dinner out on the town.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline jazij1

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  • I have been + since 1987 & Im a pre-op Transsexual
    • my yahoo 360 profile page
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2010, 12:34:24 PM »
It wouldnt be me buying anyway I'm a lady after all. At this rate tho I might hafta start!!!... LOL!!
I've spent half my life tryin to get rid of my dick and the rest of my life tryin to get my hands on one!

Peace!

Jazi :-)

Offline joejoe1972

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  • Posts: 54
  • Loving living life!
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2010, 03:55:02 PM »
Jaz darling keep your spirits up about the dating thing . After being single for ten years since my AIDS diagnosis, I have not only a valentine this year but also a boyfriend on my birthday(Feb16th). If it can happen for me in a country town in Texas, then it can happen for you. You are beautiful and just need to put yourself completely out there without caring what anyone thinks. My boyfriend is more than ten years younger, negative and found me on Facebook threw another friend...surprise...surprise.


Loving Life,
JoeJoe
Hiv+ since 1991, AIDS since 2001

Offline BT65

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Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2010, 05:28:44 PM »
Hey Jazi,

I'm 21 years poz, and no Valentine either.  But I really haven't been looking.  Good luck, and be yourself.  You're a beautiful woman.

There is a women's part of the forum that you're more than welcome to join in.  We'd love to have you and get some new insights!
 
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline joejoe1972

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  • Posts: 54
  • Loving living life!
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2010, 07:40:17 AM »
well hello again, maybe you don't want to find someone, my boyfriend just came out of the straight closet and broke up with me...what a world

I'm here,
JoeJoe
Hiv+ since 1991, AIDS since 2001

Offline netta

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
lol
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2010, 06:19:59 PM »
You are a beautiful woman ,I agree ;).
When you feel sad read this; I have been in and out of bad relationships ,abused as a child. married  7 times( and not counting the 2 men I married twice) codependant, depressed and just today moved out my controling abusive husband, whom I met online when I thought after being divorce for five years that I needed a man when I was just fine, but horney, and even though ironically today is our 1 year aniversary, and even though I said it would be a cold day in hell when it snows here in Gerogia  and sticks , I am eating my words!  and though I have lost too much weight, this year  (25lbs) lost ass and hips, have a hump  on my neck and a stomach that makes me look 5 months pregnant, and have lost  all muscle mass, and I looks like the poster child for Aids and though I  cut off my long beautiful dreadlocks after 5 years for no reason and now wearing a wig cause my hair is short and graying, even though I am bankrupt and broke, had  given up my apartment  and section eight to live in a house with my husband, and now I moving in with my daughter ,whom just bought a house,  just divorced and has 2 girls whom one is six and I have to share a room with, and though I have to be on a waiting list for a  year or more for a subsidized apartment, that i can't afford with my 678.00 SSI/SS And though I will be 52 next month and have nothing to show for it and not yet wrote my autobiography ,I won't have a Valentine  this year either.. BUT I am fine and grateful , blessed, alive and a LTS after 20 + years!!!!
 Be encouraged sweetheart!!!
Join our womens' group .
« Last Edit: February 12, 2010, 07:01:50 PM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline jm1953

  • Member
  • Posts: 262
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2010, 05:13:54 PM »
well hello again, maybe you don't want to find someone, my boyfriend just came out of the straight closet and broke up with me...what a world

I'm here,
JoeJoe

JoeJoe,

I am so sorry to hear things didn't work out with your boyfriend.  It made me happy you had met someone.  I don't know the particulars, but I always wish the very best for you.

Jazij1, as you can tell from other posts on the topic you started, some members have shared some incredible stories.  It is ideal to find that special someone who can accept you for who you are and love you for that.  But be careful the "lovebug" doesn't lead you astray.  Don't settle for anyone less than you deserve.   Being HIV is always the hardest thing to disclose.  For that reason I just date HIV men.  My current relationship is a bit rocky because it is long distance, but I've learned to take it a day at a time.  He wants the full meal deal, but all the sacrifices come from my end, moving, financial, changing everything in my world while he doesn't have to lift a finger.  I believe balance is very important in a relationship, and I don't think my guy and I are there yet.

But back to you, try not to get discouraged.  As you've read some members are single and absolutely fine with it.  Others are in relationships.  But the main theme which seems to come through is that we should all be grateful we are alive.  We've made it this far.  Be patient and I'm sure things will work out for you.  Don't sell yourself short as you seem to be a very intelligent, beautiful woman.

Take care,

Jeff
Positive 25 years. 7/21/2012 Current CD 4: 780 Viral load: less than 50. 38 to 40%
Current drug regimen, Isentress, , Emtriva, Sustiva Wellbutrin, Klonipin, Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,196
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2010, 10:48:53 AM »
Hi Jaziji1,

We all have such different stories and similar at the same time if ya know what I mean.  Happy Valentine's Day.

and to joejoe, I'm sorry about your boyfriend that really sucks.

Cyber Hugs to all who need or want them!
AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline joejoe1972

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  • Posts: 54
  • Loving living life!
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2010, 12:35:44 PM »
thanks andy!

Living life,
JoeJoe
Hiv+ since 1991, AIDS since 2001

Offline jazij1

  • Member
  • Posts: 26
  • I have been + since 1987 & Im a pre-op Transsexual
    • my yahoo 360 profile page
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2010, 01:41:54 PM »
Happy to report Valentines day... IS OVER!!!!!  Netta gurl please hang in there God's got ur back. things could always be worse I got that damn stomach too!! I do milk it for all its worth tho people are always willing to help me with my groceries and give me a seat on the bus LOL!!!!!  And to Joe Joe AWW HELL TO THE MUTHER F**kin NO HE DIDNT find a brick n kindly smash the windows of his car. I'm just playin seriously tho sorry to hear about that u know he will come knockin on ur door again... they always do LOL!!!  And thanks for all the replies u guys it made my Valentines day a lil more special.  ;D
I've spent half my life tryin to get rid of my dick and the rest of my life tryin to get my hands on one!

Peace!

Jazi :-)

Offline joejoe1972

  • Member
  • Posts: 54
  • Loving living life!
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2010, 01:29:28 AM »
he s not leaving me alone, so a brick may be necessary jaz, after how bad he hurt me I don't want the sob back. There are greener pasture out there. And I'm glad we could help your valentines be better. Keep your chin up girl and Know you are loved.

hugs and kisses,
JoeJoe
Hiv+ since 1991, AIDS since 2001

Offline koderkev

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  • Everything works...in theory.
    • Messages from Krypton
Re: After 22 yrs of being poz still no Valentine
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2010, 02:41:49 AM »
Jaz (and JoeJoe), I find myself this year without a Valentine either for the second year in a row.  For 12 years before that I had a good man who loved me lots, and I lost him in July of 2008.  Having lost a husband previous to that, I'm finally finding myself alone, and sort of OK with it.  Unlike you, I'm not eager to get into another relationship and lose another man. The only thing worse than not having a spouse is losing one, and the hurt lasts a long, long time.

Hang in there, keep looking, but also realize that you are a complete work of art on your own, and you don't need anyone to define you! (besides, husbands just fart under the bed sheets anyway...)  ;D
I distrust morning people largely because I suspect them of getting together one morning and setting up the rules of civilization while the rest of us slept.

 


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