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Author Topic: Advice please?  (Read 2529 times)

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Offline SwiftExit

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Advice please?
« on: February 11, 2010, 09:31:26 AM »
Hi there,

I am a 25 yr old male from London.

3.5 weeks ago,i got drunk and visited a brothel in Soho. I had vaginal sex with a lady that lasted 10 minutes, nothing else.

Here is my concern:-

She put a condom on me when i was erect and before any penertration occured. (Is it right to assum it would be latex?)

She also put lube on the condom and on her vagina.

When i finished sex and removed my penis, the condom had slipped down my shaft. When i took the condom off, i know that it covered the head and an inch or so of the shaft. Is this safe? -

I stroked my self with the condom still on after i exited her, but did not look at it. Is there a risk that the condom rose above the head and i moved it down when stroking myself - or would it be the case that if the condom had gone above the penis head it would have slipped off completly?

I did not check the condom to see if it was broken, but i think it was not. Would i have known? - the condom was in one piece when i removed it.

I did not ejaculate so after i removed the condom, i masturbated for a while, i touched the condom with her juices on and then touched my penis - is this a risk?

I am really worried, i have not had any symptoms.

I got tested for chlam/ghon a week after - they were negative.

I have been avoiding sex with my girlfirend and it is putting a strain on our relationship. What should i do. I do not want to infect her!

The nhs said i can have a combo (duo) test after 4 weeks - should i do this

Thankyou very Much

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice please?
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2010, 09:36:11 AM »
Swift,

You have not had a risk for hiv infection. It does not matter if the condom slipped down a bit, the important thing is that the head of your penis was covered. This means you were protected where hiv is concerned.

Getting some vaginal fluids on your hands and then masturbating is also not a risk for hiv infection. Successful hiv transmission occurs INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. When hiv finds itself outside the human body, small changes in temperature, and moisture and pH levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

When a condom breaks, it is very obvious. You would have known. A sex worker will use either a polyurethane or latex condom and both have been proven to prevent hiv infection. Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, NOT you, so you can be sure she was using the correct type and using it correctly.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline SwiftExit

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Advice please?
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2010, 09:40:45 AM »
Thankyou Ann

If i had no risk, i would not need a test? - is that right?

My last test was in August and this is the only time i have done anything outside the relationship

Should i still avoid unprotected sex with my girlfriend (who is 100% negative)?

Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2010, 09:48:19 AM »
That's right. There is no need for testing because you didn't have a risk. And yes, you can resume having intercourse with your gf without fear about HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline SwiftExit

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Advice please?
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2010, 09:51:10 AM »
thankyou Andy and Ann

Your words are i what i needed...now i just have to keep myself from searching HIV stories and such on the internet, they do more harn then good!.

Best Wishes

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice please?
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2010, 09:54:03 AM »
Swift,

You're welcome. Just make sure you always use condoms outside your relationship and you'll be fine where hiv is concerned. Read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

You have not had a risk and you do not need to test.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline SwiftExit

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2010, 12:30:23 PM »
Att:- Ann and Andy

 I understand about the no risk of condom slipping, however i have one more queiry

I am uncircumsized - is there a risk that while i was masturbating with my hand (which had her fluids on), that HIV infected secretions were transferred under my foreskin and then kept alive after i rolled my foreskin back up?

I did not shower untill the morning so the infected fluids would have been there all night.

Is this a reasonable assumption?

Don't worry, im not going to become a constant nagger - it was jusrt a thought!


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2010, 12:38:41 PM »
Being uncircumcised would only have been a risk if you had intercourse without wearing a condom. HIV is a fragile virus. It is absolutely not passed from your having had her vaginal fluids on your hand while masturbating nor from having those fluids remaining on your penis and possibly getting under your foreskin afterwards. Nor is it passed from rubbing, fingering or any number of very common sexual activities.

Sexually the risk is about unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Period. Keep using a condom everytime and you will be well protected.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline SwiftExit

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2012, 03:19:09 AM »
Hi All - i'm back and have added my question back to this thread.

Last week I went home with another guy - I'm also male. Please assess how risky my activities were and what i should do.

We had unprotected oral both ways - no ejaculation. We then had protected sex with me as the top. The condom remained in tract and i removed it after sex.

However, before penetrative sex, we engaged in some frottage with me as top. I was rubbing my bare penis against his crack and anus. I tried to edge in him a little bit but it hurt him and so i stopped. While no penetration took place, i am unsure wether the tip (not the whole head or shaft) entered his anus (a few mm or cm) for a brief moment. I'm talking a second or two.

There was defo no whole unprotected penetration but i believe i slightly pushed into his sphincter very briefly, again not the whole penis or not the whole head of my penis.

I think this is dipping but on the tame side.....is this risky?

How far into someones anus are the HIV cells? I literally pushed into the entrance of his anus by a few mm. Is this very dangerous or still count as frottage?

Should i get tested?

Thanks

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2012, 03:26:32 AM »
Hi All - i'm back and have added my question back to this thread.

Last week I went home with another guy - I'm also male. Please assess how risky my activities were and what i should do.

We had unprotected oral both ways - no ejaculation. We then had protected sex with me as the top. The condom remained in tract and i removed it after sex.

However, before penetrative sex, we engaged in some frottage with me as top. I was rubbing my bare penis against his crack and anus. I tried to edge in him a little bit but it hurt him and so i stopped. While no penetration took place, i am unsure wether the tip (not the whole head or shaft) entered his anus (a few mm or cm) for a brief moment. I'm talking a second or two.

There was defo no whole unprotected penetration but i believe i slightly pushed into his sphincter very briefly, again not the whole penis or not the whole head of my penis.

I think this is dipping but on the tame side.....is this risky?

How far into someones anus are the HIV cells? I literally pushed into the entrance of his anus by a few mm. Is this very dangerous or still count as frottage?

Should i get tested?

Thanks

Thank you for returning to your original thread.

The problem with unprotected dipping isn't that it's a risk for HIV so much as it can lead to unprotected fucking.

And unprotected fucking is most certainly a risk for HIV transmission.

Now from what I read here I don't see a clear cut risk and an HIV test 13 weeks from the date of this event will almost certainly return a negative result.

Whether or not you get tested is a matter for you.

If you do decide to test, you should expect a negative result.

But do take care in future. Unprotected dipping is not a good habit to get into.

MtD

Offline SwiftExit

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2012, 03:31:35 AM »
Thanks for your reply Matty.

There was defo not any unprotected full on intercourse and my whole penis or indeed penis head never entered him unprotected - like i said just the tip and only into the anal entrance not rectum. Have you ever heard of anyone becoming infected from insertive dipping but not sex?

I think i'll have a test but will try not to worry.

I take it nothing else was a risk?

Would anne and the others agree?

Thank you for your reply


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2012, 03:36:44 AM »
HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug abusers
Mother to child


As you can see you've never had an exposure.

Offline SwiftExit

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Advice please?
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2012, 03:42:54 AM »
OK thanks

so brief 'dipping' is not unprotected sex?

even if i entered his anus by a few mm - cm?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2012, 03:48:18 AM »
Quote
There was defo not any unprotected full on intercourse and my whole penis or indeed penis head never entered him unprotected

Offline SwiftExit

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2012, 03:50:08 AM »
I meant the whole penis head....the tip of it was pushed against his anus and may have entered him by a few mm...but not the whole gland

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2012, 03:59:13 AM »
I meant the whole penis head....the tip of it was pushed against his anus and may have entered him by a few mm...but not the whole gland
That is not penetrative sex.

Offline SwiftExit

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Advice please?
« Reply #16 on: March 16, 2012, 07:55:55 PM »
How deep would it have to go to count as penertration? like if the whole head did not enter him, is this ok?

How far into someones anus is the fluid containing HIV? More then a few mm or cm?

Thank you?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Advice please?
« Reply #17 on: March 16, 2012, 10:30:53 PM »
OK. I'm wondering if it's anxiety over having fooled around with a uy that is driving your anxiety over this experience. Because from what you have reported it doesn't seem to me that you had penetrative intercourse with him.

But we're not going to keep a back and forth going about this. So even though I don't think there was a real risk, strictly for your peace of mind I suggest you get tested. You can do it initially at 6 weeks and at 13 for a conclusive result.

You can also avoid this kind of uncertainty in the future by making sure a condom is handy so if you start fooling around anally you can just put the condom on.

There's really nothing more we can say about this situation. Either forget about it and move on with your life or get tested and collect what I expect will be a negative result.
Andy Velez

 


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