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Author Topic: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure  (Read 10103 times)

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Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #50 on: February 08, 2010, 02:12:00 PM »
Good bye Ric, and now the pain stops, and the rest begins.
Thom, I keep you in my heart, and trust you will recover soon and be able to work through all this trauma. 

I give you all the photos that take me back, with joy that I was priveleged to share these moments with Thom and Ric.

[attachment deleted by admin]
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #51 on: February 08, 2010, 03:10:51 PM »
I am in tears...  Rest in peace Ric... Thom, prayers are coming your way....

Eric

Offline Tim Horn

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  • Posts: 799
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #52 on: February 08, 2010, 03:50:46 PM »
How terribly sad.

Ric's departure from the Forums back in December was terribly unfortunate. The fact that he will never be with us again is just plain tragic. He was a member of these Forums for seven years--many more instances of love, friendship, compassion and support than anything else.

Ric, what I know about you and your life will remain in my thoughts. And Thom, I wish you double strength as mend both physically and emotionally.

Tim

Offline Joe K

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #53 on: February 08, 2010, 05:03:29 PM »
I believe that Ric leaving the forums, was a result of his declining health and even if he never posted again, he would never cease to be a part of these forums.  The Ric who left the forums, was not the Ric that we all knew and loved.  He was a man of great compassion and he has helped untold thousands, over the years on this forum.  When I take measure of a person, it is their life that I remember, not a particular unpleasant instance.  For me, Ric never left these forums, nor my heart and I will always cherish the time we spent together.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #54 on: February 08, 2010, 05:26:43 PM »
Oh my, I am so deeply saddened.

I never Met Ric in person but prior to Boston AMG he and I struck up a nice PM relationship. At the time I was still new to all this and we had many discussions about living with HIV, loving, coping etc...I was nervous about going to Boston and meeting new people. He told me I would have a blast and to not pass it up, he put me at ease. I looked forward to meeting him in Boston, but as it turned out he couldn't attend. He sent me a hug and a kiss through another AMG attendee when I arrived in Boston. He said he couldn't wait to meet me at this years AMG...I am now at a loss of words knowing that I will never get to meet him...

I could tell Ric had a good soul, he became somewhat of a mentor to me. In so many ways he played a major part in helping me learn how to live with HIV. Thank you Ric,  you helped me immensely. You will always be in my thoughts. I'll see you on the other side.                           

My heart goes out to Thom, and I will be deep in prayer for him.

I must go have a good cry now

-Will
« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 05:35:19 PM by WillyWump »
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Lis

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #55 on: February 08, 2010, 07:05:53 PM »
Bless the spirit of love... that was Ric
poz 1986....

Offline Jody

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #56 on: February 08, 2010, 08:32:41 PM »
I know at a time like this all we can do is to remember the good times we shared, and those we did.  Ric was a hearty mid-western fellow with a great, genuine laugh.  I used to joke with him and Thom that I loved having them around to laugh at my corny jokes with that big laugh they both had.

And so it was being on the boat between the wondrous falls at Niagara Falls or even more so their wedding in Montreal which was so awesome.  I bonded with the guys for the first time alone with them when I asked them to dinner on St. Catherines St. in Montreal, good food and great company.  More good times and great laughs in San Francisco and Mexico City. 

I really wasn't aware how ill Ric was.  When the fellows didn't go to Boston I thought maybe there were other reasons, so I was somewhat suprised at the unfortunate turn of events.  How awful that Thom is struggling terribly right now and I will have him very much in my thoughts. 

Rest in peace dearest, kindly Ric.

Get well real soon Thom !!!

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline aztecan

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  • Posts: 5,394
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #57 on: February 08, 2010, 08:58:35 PM »
I met Ric and Thom in Montreal. I danced at their wedding, shared several toasts with them at the reception, and generally came to enjoy their company when we wandered St. Catherine Street and during more somber moments, such as when we had the memorial in that beautiful Catholic Church in Montreal that actually has a chapel dedicated to those who have died as a result of AIDS.

In San Francisco, Ric, Thom and I shared a wonderful afternoon on Fisherman's Wharf, where we had a wonderful meal together and finally had some time for a bit of one-on-one with each other.

And here, of course, he was a bastion of support for me when I first joined and was going through some traumatic times of my own.

I thought I would share this, now that the initial shock has subsided somewhat.

The last thing he said to me was, "See you in Las Vegas." I will miss him, and it will sadden me that he won't be there.

I hope Thom is getting through all this. I hope he knows I will be there if he needs me.


With sad HUGS,

Mark
« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 09:00:58 PM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline GNYC09

  • Member
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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #58 on: February 08, 2010, 11:17:44 PM »
My condolences to Thom and the rest of their family.   :-[

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #59 on: February 09, 2010, 01:04:20 PM »
What a very sad thing Ric's passing is. The "family" here is special and the loss of one is deeply felt. I never stopped considering him to be a member of this special group.

Condolences to Thom and prayers for your recovery even as you cope with this great loss.

« Last Edit: February 09, 2010, 01:06:33 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline purpledragonfly

  • Member
  • Posts: 149
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #60 on: February 09, 2010, 07:26:15 PM »
I am so sad right now, I am so sorry Thom, I didn't get to meet either of them face to face but, on here they were like brothers to me. I will miss Rics postings. Rest now Ric and be at peace. Thom please get well as soon as you can, the family here are behind you.
Wendy

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #61 on: February 09, 2010, 10:36:27 PM »
Thanks David for that pic. I remember Ric gave me the biggest hug in SF. I will never forget that. He was a sweet man.

I'm so sad. May he rest in peace and Thom get well soon.
Positive since 1985

Offline Teresa

  • Member
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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #62 on: February 09, 2010, 11:09:56 PM »
My sincere condolences to Thom and Rics family. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline RAB

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  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #63 on: February 10, 2010, 06:08:09 PM »
I'm not dealing with this very well at all.

Ric is on my mind almost every moment I'm awake.  I find my mind wandering to various memories and then running smack  into the reality that he's no longer with us.  Not with us physically, but he's with us in terms of our/my memories.

It hurts.  I don't know if I should scream, cry, or just allow myself to feel this broad spectrum of emotions I'm experiencing.

One moment I'm sad and full of sorrow.  Then suddenly I'll recall something funny and I find myself giggling.

Like during their wedding ceremony.  The woman officiating had a very heavy accent.  Ric was having trouble understanding her when she was stating the vows he was to repeat.   At one point, as he and Thom are standing there holding hands, looking into each others faces, and exchanging those vows, Ric mistakenly said:

"I order you to. . . ."

The immediate look at Thom's face was priceless.  His head cocked back, his nostrils flared, and he got this "you what bitch?" look on his face, and the entire room burst out into uncontrolled laughter.

God that was funny.

As I mentioned I spoke with him last Friday.

While he was pretty heavily medicated, his was still very lucid and cognizant.

He talked about how he'd given the vet the wrong keys to get into the house to pick up Tucker and take her to the dog surgeon (he was meaning to say dog sitter).

He talked about his diagnosis, and although the prognosis was pretty grim, he said strongly and without hesitation that he was "ready to fight", if only they'd tell him how to do that.  It made him angry they weren't doing that.

Unfortunately he never got the chance.  He died a few hours later.

I find myself wondering how in the heck this could have been going on for as long as it must have been and was never picked up.

Ric had been having these medical problems for at least two or  three years.  GI bleeds, blood in the urine, intestinal/digestive issues, elevated liver enzymes, stomach pain, the list goes on and on.

They did all kinds of tests.  Colonoscopy, broncoscopy, cat scan, MRI, ultra sound.  At one point he even had to swallow a camera like thing that transmitted images back to a computer,  as it travelled throughout his entire system till it came out the other end.

With all of that, how is it that the cancer wasn't detected?  I don't understand that.  Maybe I'm just looking for something/someone to blame for something I really haven't grasped yet.

I'm just struggling to come to grips with this.

I thought maybe sitting here and posting my random thoughts would somehow be beneficial.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

This hurts and I don't like it.  

RIP Ric.

RAB   :'(



« Last Edit: February 10, 2010, 06:10:23 PM by RAB »

Offline Inchlingblue

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #64 on: February 10, 2010, 08:03:53 PM »
RAB: I wasn't aware what the cause of death was. Your anecdote about the wedding vows is hilarious, thanks for sharing that.

Where did they find the cancer?
« Last Edit: February 10, 2010, 08:06:20 PM by Inchlingblue »

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
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  • your ramblings bore Yamaguchi Kitteh
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #65 on: February 10, 2010, 10:04:11 PM »
RAB,

Thanks for sharing the memories of the wedding vows, I laughed out loud, albeit through my tears.


-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,644
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #66 on: February 11, 2010, 11:33:27 AM »
Rab.

thanks for the memories.  I feel the same way.  I've been in a deep blue funk since I heard the news. 

I can understand the Drs not finding the friggin' cancer.  The science of medicine has evolved a lot but it's still an art practiced, mostly, by dedicated men and women who want nothing better than to improve the world for all of us.  But god and the body and mind and the soul just seem to go their own ways, one of the beauties, I think, of life.  (I know this is about Ric but I just want to add that I've been going through those same tests the last few months (the catheter thingamajig is coming up next month) and still nothing.  I'm still feeling lousy. And the Drs are stimied.)

Anyway, the wedding was really special.  I was so touched that he and Thom would do that for us, most of us a bunch of people he had only met once before (in Toronto) and some for the first time.  He and Thom went to no expense.  I have pictures of the two of them on the balconey of the bar where we had the reception. We were down in the street on our way over and I looked up and there they were, waving and waving, happy as a couple of gay love birds.  I think without a doubt that was the best party/reception I have ever been to.  Everybody there was on a high, just happy to be with the first couple and the most fantastic people ever gathered in one place.


thanks for sharing rab.

robert
..........

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #67 on: February 11, 2010, 12:33:06 PM »
My memories of RIC and Thom will always be of us all standing out front of the Powell Hotel in SF and we had a run in with a drunk female drug addict. First she came by and grabbed my cigarette out of my mouth and took a few drags and offered it back. Thom goes, "he donít want that back he doesnít know where your mouth has been." Then she came back again and tried to steal Nadine's cell phone and Ric grabbed her by the wrist, but the funniest thing is she grabbed for Thom's flower and did the words ever start flying and Ric threatened to beat her to death with his cane. Those are memories I'll never forget.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #68 on: February 11, 2010, 03:44:09 PM »
I am sorry to hear of Ric's passing. I did not know him but I can tell he was very well loved by everyone here. I hope Thom will have a speedy recovery and be able to go on....My condolences to both of their families...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline heartforyou

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #69 on: February 14, 2010, 05:20:11 PM »
Ric's passing has made me sad and also made me realise how painfull it is to let go, even after loosing so many colleagues and friends to HIV.

I hope Thom will find the strength to go on.

I am at loos of words. but I can say that Ric has been a gentleman , always. And a very supportive member of the AM family.

Ric, may your last journey be a peaceful one.

In sadness

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline anniebc

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #70 on: February 21, 2010, 12:35:15 AM »
A message from Thom:

Richard WE. Wilke
 
Wilke, Richard WE. Age 59, of Milwaukee passed on February 6, 2010. Survived by loving partner of 30 years Thomas A. Martin, father William E. Wilke and step-mother June of Tucson, AZ, and brothers Thomas (Jenine) and Scott. Also survived by other family and friends. Private services to be held at a later date.

Published in Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on February 20, 2010

Thom would like to thank you all for your love and support, he is slowly coming to terms with things but, as you can imagine he is still grieving for Ric.

You are still in out hearts Ric.

In sadness
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline darkerpozz

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #71 on: February 21, 2010, 02:16:53 AM »
Ehough I didn't know Ric and Thom my heart goes to you because I can relate with unexpected loss. Be strong Thom an know we send strengh with e-mail hugs.

 


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