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Author Topic: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure  (Read 10977 times)

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Offline heartforyou

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  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« on: February 06, 2010, 03:38:15 PM »
Dearest friends.

I have been informed that our dear dear friend Ric Wilke has suddenly passed away just now and his husband Thom has had a seizure while visiting him in the hospital.

It is not to me to go into detail.

But please, please keepThom in your prayers. And Ric

I am absolutely devastated by this news.

In sadness

Hermie
« Last Edit: February 06, 2010, 04:04:00 PM by heartforyou »
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline Jody

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and Thom had a seizure
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2010, 03:50:24 PM »
Oh my goodness, I am sorry beyond words, this is terrible news, just awful.
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline leatherman

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and Thom had a seizure
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2010, 03:56:44 PM »
Though this is the kind of news one would rather NOT hear, thank you for passing on this sad and distressing news. I will keep Thom in my thoughts and prayers for the strength to not only overcome his own health issues but to deal with the devastating blow of losing his partner.

Please pass along my condolences to Thom  :'( and my wishes for a speedy recovery for him.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2010, 04:08:49 PM »
My deepest condolences to Thom on this obviously distressing news, and best thoughts for his own recovery.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2010, 04:21:55 PM »



    I hope Thom will be alright.  Very sorry to hear of Ric Wilke's passing..  just very sad. 
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2010, 04:27:46 PM »
What terrible news.

Offline karry

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2010, 05:23:09 PM »
Sad news. May he rest in peace.

Wishing Thom a quick recovery.
K.
Take it a day at a time....and be positive about it too!

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2010, 05:23:58 PM »
I don't know them but my condolences go out to Thom.

Offline Dennis

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2010, 05:37:02 PM »
For once, I'm at a loss for words  :'(

Thom, as you rest and heal, know we are all here for you.

Dennis

Offline john33

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2010, 05:54:46 PM »
I don't know them but my condolences go out to Thom.

Like Hellraiser I don't know them, but i send my condolences as well

Offline John2038

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2010, 06:06:22 PM »
Me too I don't know them. My condolences to the family. Best wishes for Thom.
God Bless

John

Offline Cliff

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2010, 06:13:57 PM »
Saw the update on facebook.  This is terrible and a big shock.  Rest easy Ric and the bestest of wishes on Thom making a recovery.

Offline quarterhorsetn

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2010, 08:16:00 PM »
I am very saddened!! You are both in my thoughts tonight.

Brian
Brian

Offline Robert

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2010, 08:20:34 PM »
My heart is broken.  AidsMeds has lost a true believer.

When I went to the 1st Gathering in Toronto, Ric was the first to greet me at the door.  This balding, distinguished gentleman in chaps and bedecked in rings and chains comes rushing up to me as though we were long lost lovers.  And I shall never forget the honor of being invited to Ric and Thom's wedding.

Ric and Thom....my thoughts and my love are with you both.  I am truly grateful for sharing your life, your friendship and your kindness.

robert
..........

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2010, 09:22:20 PM »
Very sad news indeed.  My condolences to Thom and wishes for a speedy recovery.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline netta

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2010, 09:30:05 PM »
Sorry to hear the news, though I didn't  know him, he was one of us. My prayers to the husband and may Ric rest in peace.
"to thine own self be true"

Offline RAB

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #16 on: February 06, 2010, 09:38:15 PM »
I don't know what to say.

Ric was such a wonderful, giving, and caring man. 

I spoke with him last evening, and while it was obvious his situation was very serious, there was no way to suspect that death was imminent.

Like Robert, I'm reminded of the man I first met in Toronto.  . . . . . . .



My heart is broken, my thoughts are with Thom and their families, and I know that however sad I may feel, I was given a gift.  A gift of friendship for which I am a much better person.  For that I am grateful.

RIP my dear friend.

RAB   :'(

Offline OzPaul

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #17 on: February 06, 2010, 10:22:21 PM »
I am deeply saddened to hear this news. My prayers are with Thom on this mournful day.

Paul

Offline Lou-ah-vull

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #18 on: February 06, 2010, 10:52:12 PM »
I, too, am at a loss for words.  Ric and Thom have been a fixture at our AMGs and their Montreal wedding is one of the most memorable events I have attended in my life.  What a tragic loss for Thom and I can only hope that he will experience a full recovery.  The memorial service at AMG is always a special and profound moment for us, and now it will be even more poignant.  We have lost a friend, but gained a saint.

Gary
Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD
06/14:  823 (47.2%), UD

Offline joemutt

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #19 on: February 06, 2010, 11:25:40 PM »
My condolences to Thom on this sad day,
May Ric rest in peace.  :'(

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #20 on: February 06, 2010, 11:30:06 PM »
My condolences to Thom and to Ric's family.  

I send my regards to Thom's family and it is my hope Thom will recover.

Meeting Ric and Thom in Montreal was a treat for all of us.

What sad news.

Em

Offline bocker3

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #21 on: February 06, 2010, 11:36:03 PM »
My condolences to Thom and the rest of their family. 

This is such sad news -- I've not had the privlege of meeting Ric & Thom, but have heard such wonderful stories, it feels as if I have.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline northernguy

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #22 on: February 06, 2010, 11:49:57 PM »
Very, very sad. 
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41

Offline pozniceguy

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #23 on: February 07, 2010, 12:12:03 AM »
such sad news that a wonderful person has passed on.  he and Thom were such a great inspiration .. I can only wish  Thom recovers quickly...  a feeling of deep loss is hanging in my heart..

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline Buckmark

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #24 on: February 07, 2010, 12:29:53 AM »
This is sad, and it hits and hurts even deeper having had the chance to know Ric in person, in addition to the forums.  I met Ric at AMG 2007 in San Francisco, and I remember his genuine hospitality and enthusiasm.  My thoughts and prayers go out to their families and friends, and I hope Thom makes a full recovery.

Henry


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline anniebc

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #25 on: February 07, 2010, 01:49:00 AM »

Rest in peace my dear Ric, I will remember you always..thank you for the love you have given me over the years...the tears are falling right now, but I know in time they will be replaced with smiles and the wonderful memories we shared.

Thom I wish you a speedy recovery and the strength to cope without your life long partner and soul mate...you know where we are if you need us.

In sadness
Jan :'(



[attachment deleted by admin]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline sensual1973

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #26 on: February 07, 2010, 03:40:26 AM »
I dont know them either,but feel sad too.My condolences to Thom and rest in peace Ric.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change.

Offline Inchlingblue

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #27 on: February 07, 2010, 05:43:08 AM »
Ric was very helpful to me here in the forums, my condolences to Thom, I hope he pulls through.

He was forced to undergo a treatment interruption for several months last year because he had lost his insurance. He then was able to get a 3 month's supply of his meds (which would have ended recently) from one of the programs from the pharmaceutical company. I wonder if this contributed to his death?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #28 on: February 07, 2010, 05:51:59 AM »
Sending my deepest condolences to Thom and family.

Offline J.R.E.

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #29 on: February 07, 2010, 06:10:31 AM »

I had never met Ric or Thom either. Ric had been a member of these forums for a very long time, and I am so very saddened to hear of Ric's passing. My deepest condolences to the families, and wishing  a speedy recovery for Thom, and  hoping that Thom finds that much needed inner strength to pull through.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline komnaes

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #30 on: February 07, 2010, 06:19:14 AM »
Ric was a wonderful man, well loved here and had been very kind to everyone.. he will be remembered.  :-[
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline BlueMoon

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #31 on: February 07, 2010, 08:00:17 AM »
Double bummer!  I'm sorry to hear this.  My condolences go out to Ric's loved ones, and I wish Thom the strength to overcome this tragedy.
...................VL.....CD4.....%
-----------------------------------------
08/10-- ......<40.....290.....42
05/10-- ......<48.....290.....46
02/10-- ......<48.....481.....44
10/09-- ......<48.....277.....46
07/09-- ......<48.....300.....38
05/09-- ........51.....449.....39
03/09-- Added Isentress
02/09-- ........65.....299.....34
11/08-- ........62.....242.....40
08/08-- ........66.....212.....29
05/08-- ......202.....217.....27
03/08-- ....5210.....187.....21
02/08-- Began Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir
12/07-- 273,000.....157.....22
11/07-- 229,000.....209.....22
10/07-- Diagnosis

It's a complex world.

Offline Ann

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #32 on: February 07, 2010, 09:52:39 AM »
Ric and I had our disagreements over the past couple of years, but we made peace with each other a few months ago and I'm glad we did. He was one of my earliest friends on these forums, going back to 2002, and I'm very sorry to hear of his passing. My condolences and wishes for a speedy recovery for Thom.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Joe K

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #33 on: February 07, 2010, 03:35:39 PM »
My deepest condolences to Thom and the families on their loss.  My heart is very heavy... another one taken from us.

Offline anniebc

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #34 on: February 07, 2010, 04:42:45 PM »
I have been asked by Dan J, who was a member here for some time, to pass on his condolences to Thom and to Ric's family.

Dan met Ric and Thom several times at the AMG's and like the rest of us was devasted to hear the news, he will miss his friend but will remember the wonderful times they spent together.

Posted on behalf of Dan J... :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #35 on: February 07, 2010, 04:49:25 PM »
New to the forums and had never met Ric or Thom.  I want to express my condolences to Ric's family and friends and wish Thom a speedy recovery. 
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Basquo

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #36 on: February 07, 2010, 05:34:45 PM »
I am so saddened by this...and I'm just now finding out because while I saw Jan's thread last night, I didn't see this one. I just called Santi to tell him the update and he was shocked and saddened as well.  He met Ric and Thom in Mexico City.  They sent me a very soft teddy bear when my cat died...oh this is just awful.  I hope Thom recovers quickly but with with a loss like this on top of his ailments...he has the longest road to travel of any of us right now...

Sorrowful.

Offline Tempeboy

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #37 on: February 07, 2010, 05:52:17 PM »
Very sad,

Best wishes

J
Roughly roundabout somewhere in the eighteenth or nineteenth century, Sodomite begat Homosexual out of moral, medical and legal models, bequeathing him Identity, who inbred with Nuclear Family and Industrialism to spawn Homophobia.

Dean Kiley

Offline odyssey

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #38 on: February 07, 2010, 06:31:41 PM »
I believe I had the pleasure of meeting Ric and Thom at AMG Boston and am deeply saddened by the loss of such a wonderful man. May you rest in peace Ric, and to you Thom, may your recovery be quick and your heart be filled with the love of those that surround you in this, your time of sorrow. My heart aches for you.
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline Theyer

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #39 on: February 07, 2010, 09:01:38 PM »
Condolences and love to all
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline anniebc

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #40 on: February 07, 2010, 10:27:09 PM »
Hi everyone

it would appear that the Doctors are now doing tests on Thom for a stroke and not a seizure as we had first thought, he has what is called "expressive aphasia"... he understand's what is being said to him but he is responding in a way no-one can really understand..he can't speak properly, this is pretty normal in someone who has had a stroke, he hasn't lost his ability to speak he just can't put his words together properly.

I think his recovery will be a little longer than we first thought.

Ric is still at the hospital, I think the family are waiting to see if Thom will be well enough and able enough to cope with everything including the funeral, they both have very supportive families...this is too much for me to handle, everytime I think about it I end up in tears..it's all so sad.

Jan :'(


-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Lou-ah-vull

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #41 on: February 07, 2010, 11:07:13 PM »
I appreciate the update Jan.  What a sad turn of events... I too have been thinking about them all day.  I just hope that Thom is going to be able to recover.  Of course, this kind of recovery, compounded by grief, is really difficult.  Thank God they both have supportive families.  This would be unbearable if the families were not being helpful.
Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD
06/14:  823 (47.2%), UD

Offline franfrog

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #42 on: February 07, 2010, 11:16:43 PM »
Oh I am so sorry to hear this.  I hope Thom is feling better and I have them both in my thoughts
7/05 diagnosis cd4- 52 vl -?
08/05 cd4-299 vl-1900
10/05 cd4-249 vl-349
12/05 cd4-349 vl-52
03/06 cd4-454 vl-<50
06/06 cd4-508 vl-<50

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #43 on: February 08, 2010, 01:37:29 AM »
I danced with our Jonathan at Ric and Thom's wedding in Montreal and remember them fondly from our various times together.

When I spoke with Ric a few weeks ago, he mentioned the difficulties he had been having.

I am truly saddened by the news of Ric's passing and of Thom's stroke. I hope Thom's recovery is swift.

I am at a loss for words.

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Curtis

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #44 on: February 08, 2010, 07:46:10 AM »
Thinking of you, Thom. 
Probable infection: 1993
Tested poz: 10/4/1995

Much time passes.....

Worst labs in 2009: CD4 20, CD4% 3, VL 9000.
10/1/09: Ziagen, Icentress, Intelence.
11/30/09: CD4 42, CD4% 6, VL undetectable.

Hooray! :-)

Offline kcmetroman

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #45 on: February 08, 2010, 10:45:36 AM »
I am so deeply saddened by this.  Ric and Thom are the epitome of love and kindness.  I will never forget you Ric, and have always cherished our friendship.

Be strong Thom...

Offline allanq

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #46 on: February 08, 2010, 11:11:33 AM »
I am so sorry to hear this tragic news. My condolences go out to Thom and Ric's family. Thom, I wish you a speedy recovery.

Allan
Top (Breakfast): Prezista, Norvir, Isentress, Zoloft (2), Glyburide (2), Aspirin
Bottom right (Dinner): Prezista, Norvir, Isentress
Bottom left (Bedtime): Sustiva, Trazodone (2), Lipitor, Septra (no longer taking this)
Center: Alprazolam (Xanax)
Not shown: various vitamins & supplements

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #47 on: February 08, 2010, 11:32:02 AM »
I haven't logged onto the forums in several days, and something was nagging at me to check in this morning; my little inner voice told me "something was bad" and that I needed to find out....

My dearest Ric, I will miss you so much, friend.  You were a sweet, loving, funny, kind and generous person.  AMGs will never be quite the same without you.   It seems only a few brief moments ago (but was several years ago, actually) that we were dancing and having fun at your wedding.   I will light a candle for you today....go in love and joy, and rest in peace, dear friend.

For Thom, I am so very sorry about your husband honey, and very concerned about you right now.   I hope someone will be keeping us all updated on your condition.   We're here for you

With love and sorrow,

Alan   :'(

Rest eternal grant to Ric, O Lord;
And let light perpetual shine upon him.

May his soul, and the souls of all the departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace
.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 11:44:00 AM by AlanBama »
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline David_CA

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #48 on: February 08, 2010, 12:31:54 PM »
Like Alan, I hadn't been on the forums in a few days and just saw this.

We first met Ric and Thom in Montreal.  My husband and I and Thom and Ric share a wedding anniversary.  Somehow, it seemed to be some sort of bond, something in common.  I was looking forward to seeing Ric in Las Vegas; I never thought that we wouldn't.  I just felt that he'd get well and things would be like the other times we've all been together.  RIP Ric; will be truly missed.  Thom, know we're thinking and praying for you.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline David_CA

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #49 on: February 08, 2010, 01:11:44 PM »
I thought I'd add this pic, as it's how I remember those two best. 

[attachment deleted by admin]
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Moffie65

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #50 on: February 08, 2010, 02:12:00 PM »
Good bye Ric, and now the pain stops, and the rest begins.
Thom, I keep you in my heart, and trust you will recover soon and be able to work through all this trauma. 

I give you all the photos that take me back, with joy that I was priveleged to share these moments with Thom and Ric.

[attachment deleted by admin]
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Life

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #51 on: February 08, 2010, 03:10:51 PM »
I am in tears...  Rest in peace Ric... Thom, prayers are coming your way....

Eric

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #52 on: February 08, 2010, 03:50:46 PM »
How terribly sad.

Ric's departure from the Forums back in December was terribly unfortunate. The fact that he will never be with us again is just plain tragic. He was a member of these Forums for seven years--many more instances of love, friendship, compassion and support than anything else.

Ric, what I know about you and your life will remain in my thoughts. And Thom, I wish you double strength as mend both physically and emotionally.

Tim

Offline Joe K

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #53 on: February 08, 2010, 05:03:29 PM »
I believe that Ric leaving the forums, was a result of his declining health and even if he never posted again, he would never cease to be a part of these forums.  The Ric who left the forums, was not the Ric that we all knew and loved.  He was a man of great compassion and he has helped untold thousands, over the years on this forum.  When I take measure of a person, it is their life that I remember, not a particular unpleasant instance.  For me, Ric never left these forums, nor my heart and I will always cherish the time we spent together.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #54 on: February 08, 2010, 05:26:43 PM »
Oh my, I am so deeply saddened.

I never Met Ric in person but prior to Boston AMG he and I struck up a nice PM relationship. At the time I was still new to all this and we had many discussions about living with HIV, loving, coping etc...I was nervous about going to Boston and meeting new people. He told me I would have a blast and to not pass it up, he put me at ease. I looked forward to meeting him in Boston, but as it turned out he couldn't attend. He sent me a hug and a kiss through another AMG attendee when I arrived in Boston. He said he couldn't wait to meet me at this years AMG...I am now at a loss of words knowing that I will never get to meet him...

I could tell Ric had a good soul, he became somewhat of a mentor to me. In so many ways he played a major part in helping me learn how to live with HIV. Thank you Ric,  you helped me immensely. You will always be in my thoughts. I'll see you on the other side.                           

My heart goes out to Thom, and I will be deep in prayer for him.

I must go have a good cry now

-Will
« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 05:35:19 PM by WillyWump »
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Lis

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #55 on: February 08, 2010, 07:05:53 PM »
Bless the spirit of love... that was Ric
poz 1986....

Offline Jody

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #56 on: February 08, 2010, 08:32:41 PM »
I know at a time like this all we can do is to remember the good times we shared, and those we did.  Ric was a hearty mid-western fellow with a great, genuine laugh.  I used to joke with him and Thom that I loved having them around to laugh at my corny jokes with that big laugh they both had.

And so it was being on the boat between the wondrous falls at Niagara Falls or even more so their wedding in Montreal which was so awesome.  I bonded with the guys for the first time alone with them when I asked them to dinner on St. Catherines St. in Montreal, good food and great company.  More good times and great laughs in San Francisco and Mexico City. 

I really wasn't aware how ill Ric was.  When the fellows didn't go to Boston I thought maybe there were other reasons, so I was somewhat suprised at the unfortunate turn of events.  How awful that Thom is struggling terribly right now and I will have him very much in my thoughts. 

Rest in peace dearest, kindly Ric.

Get well real soon Thom !!!

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #57 on: February 08, 2010, 08:58:35 PM »
I met Ric and Thom in Montreal. I danced at their wedding, shared several toasts with them at the reception, and generally came to enjoy their company when we wandered St. Catherine Street and during more somber moments, such as when we had the memorial in that beautiful Catholic Church in Montreal that actually has a chapel dedicated to those who have died as a result of AIDS.

In San Francisco, Ric, Thom and I shared a wonderful afternoon on Fisherman's Wharf, where we had a wonderful meal together and finally had some time for a bit of one-on-one with each other.

And here, of course, he was a bastion of support for me when I first joined and was going through some traumatic times of my own.

I thought I would share this, now that the initial shock has subsided somewhat.

The last thing he said to me was, "See you in Las Vegas." I will miss him, and it will sadden me that he won't be there.

I hope Thom is getting through all this. I hope he knows I will be there if he needs me.


With sad HUGS,

Mark
« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 09:00:58 PM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline GNYC09

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #58 on: February 08, 2010, 11:17:44 PM »
My condolences to Thom and the rest of their family.   :-[

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #59 on: February 09, 2010, 01:04:20 PM »
What a very sad thing Ric's passing is. The "family" here is special and the loss of one is deeply felt. I never stopped considering him to be a member of this special group.

Condolences to Thom and prayers for your recovery even as you cope with this great loss.

« Last Edit: February 09, 2010, 01:06:33 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline purpledragonfly

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #60 on: February 09, 2010, 07:26:15 PM »
I am so sad right now, I am so sorry Thom, I didn't get to meet either of them face to face but, on here they were like brothers to me. I will miss Rics postings. Rest now Ric and be at peace. Thom please get well as soon as you can, the family here are behind you.
Wendy

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #61 on: February 09, 2010, 10:36:27 PM »
Thanks David for that pic. I remember Ric gave me the biggest hug in SF. I will never forget that. He was a sweet man.

I'm so sad. May he rest in peace and Thom get well soon.
Positive since 1985

Offline Teresa

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #62 on: February 09, 2010, 11:09:56 PM »
My sincere condolences to Thom and Rics family. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline RAB

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #63 on: February 10, 2010, 06:08:09 PM »
I'm not dealing with this very well at all.

Ric is on my mind almost every moment I'm awake.  I find my mind wandering to various memories and then running smack  into the reality that he's no longer with us.  Not with us physically, but he's with us in terms of our/my memories.

It hurts.  I don't know if I should scream, cry, or just allow myself to feel this broad spectrum of emotions I'm experiencing.

One moment I'm sad and full of sorrow.  Then suddenly I'll recall something funny and I find myself giggling.

Like during their wedding ceremony.  The woman officiating had a very heavy accent.  Ric was having trouble understanding her when she was stating the vows he was to repeat.   At one point, as he and Thom are standing there holding hands, looking into each others faces, and exchanging those vows, Ric mistakenly said:

"I order you to. . . ."

The immediate look at Thom's face was priceless.  His head cocked back, his nostrils flared, and he got this "you what bitch?" look on his face, and the entire room burst out into uncontrolled laughter.

God that was funny.

As I mentioned I spoke with him last Friday.

While he was pretty heavily medicated, his was still very lucid and cognizant.

He talked about how he'd given the vet the wrong keys to get into the house to pick up Tucker and take her to the dog surgeon (he was meaning to say dog sitter).

He talked about his diagnosis, and although the prognosis was pretty grim, he said strongly and without hesitation that he was "ready to fight", if only they'd tell him how to do that.  It made him angry they weren't doing that.

Unfortunately he never got the chance.  He died a few hours later.

I find myself wondering how in the heck this could have been going on for as long as it must have been and was never picked up.

Ric had been having these medical problems for at least two or  three years.  GI bleeds, blood in the urine, intestinal/digestive issues, elevated liver enzymes, stomach pain, the list goes on and on.

They did all kinds of tests.  Colonoscopy, broncoscopy, cat scan, MRI, ultra sound.  At one point he even had to swallow a camera like thing that transmitted images back to a computer,  as it travelled throughout his entire system till it came out the other end.

With all of that, how is it that the cancer wasn't detected?  I don't understand that.  Maybe I'm just looking for something/someone to blame for something I really haven't grasped yet.

I'm just struggling to come to grips with this.

I thought maybe sitting here and posting my random thoughts would somehow be beneficial.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

This hurts and I don't like it.  

RIP Ric.

RAB   :'(



« Last Edit: February 10, 2010, 06:10:23 PM by RAB »

Offline Inchlingblue

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #64 on: February 10, 2010, 08:03:53 PM »
RAB: I wasn't aware what the cause of death was. Your anecdote about the wedding vows is hilarious, thanks for sharing that.

Where did they find the cancer?
« Last Edit: February 10, 2010, 08:06:20 PM by Inchlingblue »

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #65 on: February 10, 2010, 10:04:11 PM »
RAB,

Thanks for sharing the memories of the wedding vows, I laughed out loud, albeit through my tears.


-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Robert

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #66 on: February 11, 2010, 11:33:27 AM »
Rab.

thanks for the memories.  I feel the same way.  I've been in a deep blue funk since I heard the news. 

I can understand the Drs not finding the friggin' cancer.  The science of medicine has evolved a lot but it's still an art practiced, mostly, by dedicated men and women who want nothing better than to improve the world for all of us.  But god and the body and mind and the soul just seem to go their own ways, one of the beauties, I think, of life.  (I know this is about Ric but I just want to add that I've been going through those same tests the last few months (the catheter thingamajig is coming up next month) and still nothing.  I'm still feeling lousy. And the Drs are stimied.)

Anyway, the wedding was really special.  I was so touched that he and Thom would do that for us, most of us a bunch of people he had only met once before (in Toronto) and some for the first time.  He and Thom went to no expense.  I have pictures of the two of them on the balconey of the bar where we had the reception. We were down in the street on our way over and I looked up and there they were, waving and waving, happy as a couple of gay love birds.  I think without a doubt that was the best party/reception I have ever been to.  Everybody there was on a high, just happy to be with the first couple and the most fantastic people ever gathered in one place.


thanks for sharing rab.

robert
..........

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #67 on: February 11, 2010, 12:33:06 PM »
My memories of RIC and Thom will always be of us all standing out front of the Powell Hotel in SF and we had a run in with a drunk female drug addict. First she came by and grabbed my cigarette out of my mouth and took a few drags and offered it back. Thom goes, "he donít want that back he doesnít know where your mouth has been." Then she came back again and tried to steal Nadine's cell phone and Ric grabbed her by the wrist, but the funniest thing is she grabbed for Thom's flower and did the words ever start flying and Ric threatened to beat her to death with his cane. Those are memories I'll never forget.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #68 on: February 11, 2010, 03:44:09 PM »
I am sorry to hear of Ric's passing. I did not know him but I can tell he was very well loved by everyone here. I hope Thom will have a speedy recovery and be able to go on....My condolences to both of their families...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline heartforyou

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #69 on: February 14, 2010, 05:20:11 PM »
Ric's passing has made me sad and also made me realise how painfull it is to let go, even after loosing so many colleagues and friends to HIV.

I hope Thom will find the strength to go on.

I am at loos of words. but I can say that Ric has been a gentleman , always. And a very supportive member of the AM family.

Ric, may your last journey be a peaceful one.

In sadness

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline anniebc

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #70 on: February 21, 2010, 12:35:15 AM »
A message from Thom:

Richard WE. Wilke
 
Wilke, Richard WE. Age 59, of Milwaukee passed on February 6, 2010. Survived by loving partner of 30 years Thomas A. Martin, father William E. Wilke and step-mother June of Tucson, AZ, and brothers Thomas (Jenine) and Scott. Also survived by other family and friends. Private services to be held at a later date.

Published in Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on February 20, 2010

Thom would like to thank you all for your love and support, he is slowly coming to terms with things but, as you can imagine he is still grieving for Ric.

You are still in out hearts Ric.

In sadness
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline darkerpozz

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Re: Ric Wilke has passed away and his husband Thom had a seizure
« Reply #71 on: February 21, 2010, 02:16:53 AM »
Ehough I didn't know Ric and Thom my heart goes to you because I can relate with unexpected loss. Be strong Thom an know we send strengh with e-mail hugs.

 


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