HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

3 years single - need to test?

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All, I apologize in advance - I think this question has been answered ad-nauseum. I'm a gay male who has been single for the last three years. I've been tested for HIV but not for about 2 years. In the last two years, my sexual experiences have consisted only of periodic episodes of oral sex, both giving and receiving, with partners of unknown HIV status. On the giving end, I've always had a pretty healthy (or unhealthy depending on your point of view) fear of HIV and body fluids so while I love to perform oral sex, I have not swallowed or allowed anyone to cum in my mouth for years. I've never been into anal sex so that hasn't taken place at all in many, many years. So now I'm seeing someone, it's starting to get serious, we both want to get tested (just to be sure), and suddenly, I'm petrified. I know I've done nothing to put myself at great risk for exposure but I'm terrified to test.

My friends think I'm crazy to have any concern at all. They also think I sound boring in bed - but I digress. According to the great and reasonable regular posters on this site, I should test with wild abandon - because since I don't engage in anal sex at all, the likelihood of my testing positive is merely theoretical. I have nothing to hide here so if I engaged in acts other than what I described above, I'd happily say so. In my twenties, I tested regularly and never really had any fear - and I was probably much less careful then.

I guess I'm posting with the hope of hearing what I think I will hear directly aimed at me. It's easy to read advice given to others and then say - but that's them, I'm different, there's one difference here we're not considering.

I guess the one great thing about testing now vs. testing the last time is that I'll get results in 20 minutes vs. 1 week.

Any and all comments/advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance for your time and patience.


You are doing the right thing in getting tested together with your new partner. As long as you are securely monogamous and it has been three months since either of you have had unprotected intercourse, you can trust the test results - just make sure you get them together or you see his results with your own eyes.

Nothing you mention leads me to believe that you will test anything other than negative. Maybe this time it feels a little different to test because you feel there is more at stake here with the relationship. Don't let those feelings put you off. Test, and collect what I fully expect will be a negative result.

Good luck with the test - and the relationship.


Ann, Thanks for your response. From what I can tell, you're pretty much a saint!! I'm going to test on Friday. I'm terrified, but I need to know. I'll be sure to post the results then. Until then, if anyone else has anything to add, I'm all ears.


Matty the Damned:

Testing is scary, but you don't have to be brave to do it. Just walk on in there with your legs a tremblin' and have it done. Believe me, we know what scary is. ;) Like Goderator Ann says, you will in all likelihood test negative.

Be sure to come back and tell us the results.



Andy Velez:
Like Ann, based on what you have reported I also do expect you to test negative.

I'll add just a few words of caution. Make sure that you and your guy are really comfortable with committing to absolute monogamy once you have tested negative if you're going to dispense with using condoms for intercourse. It's a serious decision to make and one not to be taken in the heat of passion.

Good luck with your test and keep us posted.



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