Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 25, 2014, 02:36:31 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23038
  • Latest: goesny
Stats
  • Total Posts: 631874
  • Total Topics: 47839
  • Online Today: 293
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: romance: bullshiter's bibles  (Read 2192 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,761
romance: bullshiter's bibles
« on: January 22, 2010, 11:32:21 PM »
so....i was told to read two books.

He's Just Not That Into You
and
It's called a Break up because It's Broken.

Any feedback? I found some excerpts on the first book. they were compelling. ill be at my local library tomorrow to check it out. just wanted to know if you've read them and what u thought about either.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,883
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2010, 12:04:53 AM »
I don't "do" self help books.  They're for the weak.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,053
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2010, 12:19:11 AM »
I don't "do" self help books.  They're for the weak.
Flipping through them quickly, I've always found them helpful on occasions, just to prove that I'm not crazy, and that I'm already doing all I can to help my own damn self. ;D Give them a quick look-see, next. you just might be surprised at how much you already know to get your life moving forward ;) The trick is just getting off you butt, and implementing the changes in your life that you know you ought to be making. ;) ;D
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2010, 04:12:43 AM »
Long forgotten by all who knew of him, no Romance Bible would be complete without the likeness of The International, "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Queen"  Fabio, who excaped suppression in his developing nation (either Brazil or Long Beach, CA) and fled to the runways of Milan.  

With his career on fast track, he then became a model for International Male, did a couple of walk-ons in Woody Allen movies (if you can call, standing in an elevator at The Beverly Center, a walk-on role)  and finally became famous for his portrayal in the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" Commercials.  Those who rise on the fast track, if they make it at all are often quickly forgotten.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael
« Last Edit: January 23, 2010, 04:17:37 AM by Sonomabeach »

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,225
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2010, 05:01:30 AM »

   


It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken
by Greg Behrendt and Amira Ruotola-Behrendt



There's no doubt about it-breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It's over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is.

At the end of the day, it's about weather YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn't working.. to recognize that it wasn't giving you what you needed and deserved

Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges.

Anyone who assesses you or your realtionship as "disposable" is not worthy of your time or tears.

Just remember, though, that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelavant. The harsh reality is that even if you have EVERYTHING else in common, the one thing you don't have in common is the belief that this realtionship can work. & that alone trumps your shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food.
It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken
by Greg Behrendt and Amira Ruotola-Behrendt

A lot of the pain you are experiencing right now is auctually fear. Fear of things being different then how you liked them, fear of never finding love again, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time differently. We're afraid of the unknown.

The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, "No, thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere." Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn't a match made in heaven

"I don't know" means "NO!"
"I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation."
"I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me becasue I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.

Seems like helpful insight - self help - why not. If it helps.

I think the two books are for girls and women, however.  Maybe that makes no difference.

Sorry you are dealing with a breakup, I assume.  Some are OK, some rot. If you are looking for advice, support, and self-help books, I guess this one isn't going so well!  ANYTHING you can do to feel better is pretty good idea. (As long as its not dangerous!) 
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,699
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2010, 09:15:03 AM »



   Not so sure a book will help you, of course that is coming from someone who does not do self-help books while probably needing to.   I would just distance myself from the person and cease all contact.  I know you may desire to keep things on a plutonic level, but that doesn't work at the beginning of a breakup.  I think if you do this as time goes on you will be able to see things more clearly.

   I've had two failed marriages.  The writing was on the wall early on with the first one, she cheated on me.  Still even with that I managed to put her on a pedestal and she dragged my heart through the mud.  It took me a good 9 months of bullshit to realize I didn't need this anymore.  My second marriage, 11 years, involved two people who were very comfortable together but lacked the love.  It's amazing how long being comfortable and afraid of change will drag a relationship on and it's almost as bad as being with someone who is doing you wrong.  Why?  Because it's a waste of time.

   I learned a lot about myself in those relationships, along with the maturity that comes with getting older of course and I realize how much I played a part in the downfall in both marriages.   You have a lot of life ahead of you and dude you are a good looking guy who has a good head on his shoulders... you don't need this shit.  Stuff like this makes you stagnant and your too young for that.  Perhaps a good self inventory of yourself is in order so you can find out how a great guy like yourself got with a person who can't give you the same love you are willing to give.

   It's one of those life lesson things and there is only one way to learn and that's by living it.  Kind of sucks I know, but my guess is you'll get through it.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,883
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2010, 10:07:45 AM »
You'd be much better off by reading No Exit by Sartre than any of this self-help Oprah bullshit.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2010, 08:36:32 PM »
Having never been the domestic goddess type and keeping a man around for a very long time,  There was some fun in breaking up.  During the time I was Promotions Manager at some Hawaii radio stations, I wrote and produced several non-profit spots and some for-profit spots featuring, "Mr. David of Beverly Hills".   Mr. David was in a 60 second spot for the Hawaii Department of Health which focused on safer sex and condoms.  The intro was "Million Dollar Baby" as the "MC" announces, "Coming down the runway, we Have Mr. David, Fashion Trendsetter of Beverly Hills... He is sporting the latest in men's sleepwear, it is sleek, form fitting and it can save your life".  Since it was a non-profit, I gave the Dept of Health 1/2 price and a free upgrade to AAA Time.  Within a short time, Mr. David was being aired on every station in the State of Hawaii.  The moral of the story... Don't mess with the BF who has 60,000 watts of FM power at his fingertips.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Rev. Moon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,782
  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2010, 09:09:52 PM »
so....i was told to read two books.

He's Just Not That Into You
and
It's called a Break up because It's Broken.

Any feedback? I found some excerpts on the first book. they were compelling. ill be at my local library tomorrow to check it out. just wanted to know if you've read them and what u thought about either.

D, I don't dismiss self-help books altogether (well, I kinda like the ones from Eckhart Tolle, all else is new-age and/or romanticised caca).   He's Just Not That Into You is actually a pretty BSy type of book.  The movie that was made out of it was just as rubbishy.  It tells you many things that you already know: some men suck, some men are unpredictable, you are beautiful and deserve better, you will find the right one when you least expect it, yada, yada, yada.  You'll get more out of watching the Sex and the City episode that inspired them.

If you want to read something that empowers you [from a spiritual standpoint] go for something with true literary value like 'Song of Myself' by Whitman.   Short, easy read, timeless.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2010, 09:13:17 PM »
I think that "He's just not that into you" gives people who are a little clueless some pretty definite answers.

If you're calling him, and he's not calling you.  Hang it up.
If you're always making the first move.  Let it go.
If your first impression is that someone is not interested.  You're probably right.

Some people always question that behavior and the reason is because men have a hard time just saying:  "I'm not interested in having a relationship with you".  Thus begins the game of interpretation.

Offline Rev. Moon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,782
  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2010, 09:14:58 PM »
You'd be much better off by reading No Exit by Sartre than any of this self-help Oprah bullshit.

You might've as well referred him to The 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade  ;D
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,761
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2010, 11:09:55 PM »
i really dont know where to go with this one guys. i guess ill start by saying thanks and maybe ill pick up better material to read...like honcho.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Rev. Moon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,782
  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2010, 11:36:04 PM »
i guess ill start by saying thanks and maybe ill pick up better material to read...like honcho.

That one works.  Guaranteed to put you in better spirits :)
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,883
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2010, 11:57:40 AM »
Another thing I don't get is that I thought you've previously stated that you regularly see a therapist, and if I am correct what do you expect to get out of these tired money-seeking screeds that you are not getting out of your therapist?

I've said it before but I'll say it again.  You can not have a successful, emotionally fulfilling relationship with another person unless you're comfortable being single.  This is why I suggested forcing yourself to be single for a year.  Seems like you're continually running into someone else's arms because you're mortified about sitting home alone watching Twilight repeatedly.  If you're not well adjusted with being single, you'll always end up "settling for" and really that's not an appealing trait for anyone, and only attracts the bottom feeding manipulative types in the end, as you've now seen repeatedly.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2010, 12:01:05 PM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline elf

  • Member
  • Posts: 596
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2010, 06:26:13 AM »
I don't "do" self help books.  They're for the weak.
I don't like them because they are boring.  :-*
Let's have a Kiki!

Offline Angel-Ronnie

  • Member
  • Posts: 434
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2010, 03:34:49 AM »
Thirty rules for a good lifeÖ

1.   No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2.   Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.
3.   Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4.   Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.
5.   Success stops when you do.
6.   When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.
7.   You will never ďhave it all together.Ē
8.   Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the trip.
9.   The biggest lie on the planet: ďwhen I get what I want I will be happy.Ē
10.   The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11.   Iíve learned that ultimately ďtakersĒ lose and ďgiversĒ win.
12.   Lifeís precious moments donít have value, unless they are shared.
13.   If you donít start, it is certain you wonít arrive.
14.   We often fear the thing we want most.
15.   Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you donít say!
16.   Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17.   Look for opportunities, not guarantees.
18.   Life is whatís coming, not what was.
19.   Success is getting up one more time.
20.   Now is the most interesting time of all.
21.   When things go wrong, donít go with them.
22.   Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
23.   God can mend all broken hearts. You just have to give Him all the pieces.
24.   A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesnít ask, is a fool forever.
25.   A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, and lucky to have.
26.   A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart.
27.   A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.
28.   I donít have to attend every argument Iím invited to.
29.   Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of Godís grace and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of Godís grace.
30.   Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.


"D" it is for you to decide what to read as it is my right to read or practice some of the guidelines in most books. Each one of us has a different take on reading, on self-help, on spiritualism, but it must not stop others from doing what they feel is right. It is not because someone is weak at all, it is what works for some and what doesn't work for others. Guidance can come from anywhere, anywhere you feel you have a connection with, if you feel that these are books you would like to read then go for it.

i've red many such books and it doesn't make me weak at all, i recognised that i needed something to make me understand certain aspect of my life and I am glad that i took my own advice to myself. So it is for you to decide no-one can do it for you.
Bide the Wiccan law ye must,
In perfect love and perfect trust
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill
An' ye harm none, do what ye will.

What ye send forth comes back to thee,
so ever mind the Law of three,
follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,893
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2010, 06:55:38 AM »
You'd be much better off by reading No Exit by Sartre than any of this self-help Oprah bullshit.

Huis Clos! You'll be perfect as the valet Philicia.. ;D
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline quarterhorsetn

  • Member
  • Posts: 60
  • "Shoot her, shoot her in the head Wardell"!
Re: romance: bullshiter's bibles
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2010, 12:09:11 PM »
I think FallenAngel has it right!! Best of luck to you!!
Brian

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.