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3 weeks positive

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LOVELIFE:
well
--- Quote from: MC on August 22, 2006, 03:18:42 PM ---Hello everyone,
This is the first site ive been on ever that deals with my current and real situation.Ive been looking here and reading all the stories of support and information and am overwhelmed by care of this site and its members. I would like to share here as i see that its more than welcomed. I found out 3 weeks ago on July 31 that i tested positive for HIV.

Here is  my story so far. Well the last 3 weeks in June i had been traveling around Asia with my work and that was all fine besides dealing with Jetlag. After i left asia i flew back on the 3rd of July to Amsterdam for 2 days and then off to America to visit my family and friends for a few weeks, the start of my Holiday.I had been feeling fine and energetic till a few days after arriving in the States. So after a few days i felt the Jetlag bigtime and was a bit tired and i figured after all this of course it was all that travelling that was making me exhausted? So and then came the fever after 5 days being at home, not having seen my family for a while, and another thing is my BF of 3 and a half years was arriving a week after me to meet my Family for the very first time ever (and the only one ive ever brought home.....important time for me).And here i was with this fever and couldnt really shake it (maybe just my nerves?)................mmmmmm, well he arrived and they loved and adored him like i do and i was happy about that, but this fever stayed and stayed. After my BF had arrived, the next morning i found myself in the car with my mom and BF being rushed to the emergency room cause my fever was so high and i felt faint.Got to the hospital, they rushed me in put me in a chair, in a room and i was waiting for a doctor, nurses checking things, i was shivering and in tears thinking what the hell is happening? The Doc tells me well its some kind of virus and there is not much they can do, so they sent me home telling me to take the tylenol to keep the fever down and itll go away on its own. Well i took their advice. of course thinking it was a flu(or scarily thinking bird flu since id been in Asia?) or cold and went home.Soon after arriving home my throat started to bother me a bit, but nothing that bad until later.After leaving the Hospital for the next 3 days i wasnt getting better and my throat had worsened to the point i couldnt swallow water (This turned out later to be Herpies, lessions, perhaps common with HIV?) and i started developing a rash which slowly started to cover the palm of my hands and feet.My fever was still very high, so we went back to the hospital and got some more tests. Seeing that the rash had appeared and was on my palms, the doctor said this so called virus could be perhaps either of the three viruses? Syphlis, lime disease or something else? They again sent me home informing me that if the test for the 3 things mentioned came back postive that they would call me ,but now with some Antibiotics that would help me if i had some kind of Bacterial infection and , if it was those 3 things, would aid that as well. Well i went back home  and for almost a week or more ( i cant recall time that well as i was so tired, asleep or in pain most of it) i laid in the bed trying to deal with all this insanity of what i was going through. A day after arriving back at home i developped a new symptom , severe chest pain (later seemed to be some yeast infection, also common with HIV?).So with the throat lessions so bad that i couldnt swallow water even and now the chest pain? I really  could not eat or drink very well and daily, even with these antibiotics, it was getting worse by the minute it seemed...........and also i couldnt sleep.It was hell, really and thank god for my BF being there under such strange circumstances and with my family meeting him/us for the first time i felt also quilty and felt responscible for the good time we were suppose to be having... (Im working on that one.:) )  So finally i decided i need to see another doctor and a not an emergency room. So i got an appointment at a local clinic to see a thrid Doc.  I walked in to his office and sat down .He asked what my problems were and blah blah. He looked at me and asked are you gay? and have you ever been tested for HIV? Without even examining me............my heart sank, but then again my BF was in the room , so i had support. He explained to me that these symptoms i was having, Fever, fatique, throat (herpes) chest pain ( yeast infection?) are common with HIV patientes.......and so on .He tested my breathing and that was fine........ OK of course he wanted to test me for HIV there and it has been about 10 years since ive been tested (stupid..im dealing with that too).My BF and i agreed to be tested together in a few days when we got back to Europe, so i didnt do the test.So he told me that the antibiotics the previous doc had subscribed were making my condition worse, so he gave me new meds for the individual symptoms i was feeling and sent me home.A few days after starting the new meds my symtoms were improving but my fever was not....... I still felt very sick? I had not eat or drink really off and on for 2 weeks? It was pretty bad and i started to think of course HIV? Maybe, maybe not?..........I just wanted to go home and be there in my bed, sick!

So part of my nightmare had only begun After a few days at my mothers house had arrived a letter from the hospital telling me to contact the health department (It was the results from the 2nd time i had been to the emergency room). They had been trying to reach me by phone (somehow there was no call?) but had to try by post............ I immediately called the health department and they informed that my test results for Syphlis came back positive!!!!! I didnt know what to say and called my BF in the room and told him. He was more positive about it than myself, because they had finally found out what i HAVE? So again i had a another sleepless night and the next morning we headed down to the Health department and we talked and were interviewed and they again spoke of the HIV test and tested my BF also for the Syphlis.NO, we are waiting to get back home to have the test (somehow i knew that my body was not the same........but i would not entertain the thought that this really could be HIV?). I could tell by the nurses face when she looked at me her true concern. So after the 2 painful injections in my ass we went home and were finally somehow suppose to fly home the next day.My fever would not go away!! we had to cancel our flights home 3 times while we were there and i just needed my HOME!!

Finally i improved, my throat and chest pain went and i could eat finally!! I somehow pulled myself together with some help of a few pain pills made it back home on that long flight in one piece with my beautiful BF!! I was happy to be home, but that evening my fever got worse and we went for the first time here to the hospital clinic. Went into a room and the doctor looked at the medications i had been taking (he barely spoke english) and looked at my BF and rudely said HIV.........this stabbed me hard and realisation appeared again.This was a saturday and early Monday morning i went to my DOCTOR and he sent me to the HOSPITAL and there finally i had all the test done. They admitted me and i waited for the results in the room with my BF for a difficult (I was very sick) few hours. The nicest doctor came into my room and asked if we could take a walk .The door opened and closed. I sat there hand in hand with my sweet BF and i heard for real " YOU ARE HIV positive."

This was 3 weeks ago. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days and returned home.My fever and symptoms went away except the fatigue has been so up and down.I take no sleeping pills to sleep now for a week and my strength is coming back and im dealing mentally with my rollercoaster thoughts of me being HIV. I have an incredible partner whose unconditional love is so strong that i realise how fortunate i am at this time in my life.............thank you my love!

Excuse me for it being so long this forum, but it felt could to get it all out and i hope you understand and can keep up with the events...........Oh that feels great to share........ :) I know im not alone!!

MC

--- End quote ---
???

MC:
Hi,
So ive just talked to my nurse here and had known my CD4 counts but didnt know my viral load  before today and after reading here wanted to find out more.Three weeks ago when i found out my HIV status i was very sick and in the hospital and had tested postive and had been treated 1 week before for Syphlis and i was feeling everything was just so out of whack.My immune system just trying to deal with it all this madness................

My results
CD4s 320
Viral load 900,000

The nurse told me that the viral load of 900,000 was very high but this was normal for someone who had recently been infected, which we believe that at this point i am in the primary stages. So i have my next meeting in 2 weeks. My health in the last 3 weeks has been improving daily and im feeling stronger and common sense says that most likely my CD4s will rise and viral load will drop, or?

Anyhow, wishful thinking here
MC

lydgate:
Hey MC,

So glad you're feeling better, stronger. And what you say is not wishful thinking at all. In acute or primary infection, the VL is very high -- hundreds of thousands or even millions of copies. And the CD4 count takes a temporary dip. Then, as you know, the infection stabilizes, with T-cell and viral load counts "plateauing" for a long period of time (how long that period is depends on a lot of factors).

I know this is easier said than done, but try not to obsess too much over these initial numbers, or indeed any one set of numbers in isolation. You seem to be "mending" well, after your bout of bad health, and that's the most important thing right now. That, and coping with all the stress that a new diagnosis can bring.

Good luck with all the madness and un-madness!

Jay

water duck:
Hi MC,

You had told quite a story, like Jay say, don't give too much attention to the numbers for now.
You been thru' alot of pain and uncertainty, just rest and be strong for the moment.
When your brain get stabilize, the rest will follow.  Be gentle with yourself, healing takes time.
So one step at a time.

Glad you are here to seek support, welcome.

Siang

MC:
Hello guys
Its Saturday and I'm feeling relatively OK. Thinking of starting back to work half days soon. I'm looking forward to that as my mind is also i can assure you that.I have been off for 2 months dealing with this and am ready to go back into my life as it were, but of course I'm not the same but am ready. wish me luck :)

Ive been doing a little myself to improve me. Ive bought some supplements for myself and just wanna share.

Multivitamin
B complex 100
Selenium
Omega 3-6-9
Vit C 2000 mg/day
Spurlina

I'm taking since 1 week now this Spurlina.....has anyone had experience with it and do you think it is necessary?

Does anyone suggest having a mulitvitamine without iron for me, or do you think the small percentage 18mg in the multi is ok.......?

Oh well thanks for any responces and ill see you soon.
MC

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