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Author Topic: Appalling hook-up profiles.  (Read 5460 times)

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Offline mecch

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Appalling hook-up profiles.
« on: January 24, 2010, 08:38:03 AM »
Maybe this topic is beating a dead horse.  

Last night I had a nice dinner with old friends and then we went out on the town. There were lots of young-uns in the bars and a hip hop club we stopped by (hetero by the way).  18-30 maybe and nice faces, dancing with their friends, looking for boys or girls, etc.  

Today I went on the gay chat.  Just wanted to share just one of the many appalling hook-up profiles I read online today.  After the ad there are a few comments.  

I would be interested to read your selection of an appalling ad and a comment of what you find horrifying about it.

The ad:  (a 42yo gay guy looking for 30-50, 15 pics, b&W shots of his (nice!) muscle body, if the face is in the pic, it is obscured.)

_______________________________________________
riders are not allowed. you do not train your body and now you are looking for raisins. Pleas move to another profile!

-->Guys i know what i want <--

AGE 30+ ( thirty ) !!!

Only for versatile and muscular guys, smooth or shaved body hair and face is a must, no beard,no designer stubble, no moustache and no goatee pls!

AGE 30+!!

Looking for handsome men!
AIDS neg!
I'm healthy and want to stay that way so NO BAREBACK!
No DRUGS what so ever.

Turn offs:
bad breath
lube on everything
a guy who isn't comfortable with his body
small belly
if you are a smoker
Halitosis grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

No Bisex, no Asian, no Queens

No c6, no cam, no msn, no t6!!!

I make no exceptions, no discussion for all positions!

No picture = no chance, and one picture is no picture! No cock shots please!

_____________________


My comment - Well he helpfully posted this in a few languages. Everyone has a right to his own choice and sexuality.  Its fine to advertise exactly what you want. A number on things his "NO" list turn me off, too.

What I find sad - its all about "NO".  All the things that are absolutely impossible if he is to enjoy sex. 
In particular, is his absolute aversion to any body hair.  Not even a 5 o'clock shadow.  

Appalling:  he doesn't bother to give his "turn ons" (hairless 30+ muscle guy with no belly I guess).  Over all, there is a grim aspect to this - just sex, and just a very partcular type, and no joy, no basis for the "yes" just the "no".

And I thought about the cuties dancing last night and thought about when I was their age, and how I didn't have many "NO" criteria in my selection of boyfriends or sex partners.  There was always room wiggle room about what could turn me on, or how I might turn on the other guy.

« Last Edit: January 24, 2010, 08:41:18 AM by mecch »
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2010, 10:00:09 AM »
Taking offense at an internet sex ad is like being offended by something you read that's scrawled on a public restroom stall wall.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2010, 10:27:00 AM »
Seems pretty honest and straight forward to me. Much ado about nuttin.

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2010, 10:30:04 AM »
You're beating the rusted remnant of a can that long ago contained the glue that was the horse's cartilage & sinews...

Pics?  Stats?  
« Last Edit: January 24, 2010, 11:49:02 AM by Boo Radley »
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2010, 10:33:19 AM »

  Mecch, wasn't there a next button or something?  You should line up something with the guy for April 1rst....  then surprise him with a loud, "April Fools!".  I'm sure, judging from his profile, the guy has a hell of a sense of humor.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2010, 11:02:18 AM »
Some people know exactly what foods they want to eat, and don't try other things. Some people know exactly what kind of clothes they want to wear and won't even bother trying on the "wrong" item when it's given as a gift. Yet for some reason, when it comes to sex - an experience of incredible naked intimacy where visuals are a huge portion (for men) of the stimilus, somehow listing your wants and don't wants is bad.  ;D :D

I say bravo to this guy for being honest and not wasting his or anyone else's time. I want a man that's honest, bold, forthright, and knows what he wants - and he better have a moustache too! :D

The only thing I can criticize this ad for is being worded negatively. He should have taken the more positive approach and listed everything by how it turned him on (ie "guy who isn comfortable with his body", "firm flat belly", "a non-smoker")
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


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Offline mecch

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2010, 11:16:10 AM »
Taking offense at an internet sex ad is like being offended by something you read that's scrawled on a public restroom stall wall.

I guess Im too easily offended. There was a rash of stickers in public restrooms from Geneva to Montreux - translation:  "I was beaten to a pulp because I have AIDS so I deserved it."


I wasn't clear about what I found appalling perhaps. Its not that guy - I said he has the right to his desires. Its how a community (men online looking for sex --- or gay men generally) has come to be so blasť about the supermarket negative aspect of it. 

Well, thank god there are still interesting and upbeat profiles out there, as well.
 

« Last Edit: January 24, 2010, 11:19:40 AM by mecch »
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2010, 11:23:18 AM »
Its how a community (men online looking for sex --- or gay men generally) has come to be so blasť about the supermarket negative aspect of it. 

Spare me, girl.  It's the same thing as cruising in The Ramble or trolling the halls of the West Side Club, except you've got some text and pictures on a computer.  Same thing, different chapter. 
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2010, 11:33:52 AM »
Just for shits-n-giggles I dug up this:

http://www.tinmanic.com/archives/2001/07/09/the-west-side-club/

I rest my case.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline dshrfrshr

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2010, 11:41:11 AM »
I had a 20yo boy ask me if I were bugchaser too last night on a4a, and then he asked if I would share it with him.  I didnt know how to react to this, if he were for real about this too.  I just said Im a total bottom and it wouldnt work.  This is my first encounter with this, really threw me off.
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Offline Boo Radley

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2010, 12:05:45 PM »
I don't know what gay chat you were on but most gay male sites seem to have one objective...

Recreational sex is fine and if that's what you enjoy go for it.  Having come of age before the InterWeb I had to actually meet guys face to face before deciding what was mutually interesting.  I like men  with solid builds but that by no means eliminated tons of men of varying sizes, heights, colors, etc.  Such specificity in seeking a mate was too rigid.  If we hit it off we hit it off and maybe got off too.  I never liked being reduced to a sexual object so will never forget the dumbass with a rug he kept trying to keep me from touching who complimented me as his "Jazz Fest Trick."  I hate the Jazz fest.

Bath-houses and bars were about as far as my pursuit of casual sex ever went.  As big a slob as I am bookstores and peep shows always made me writhe at the sticky floors and viscous stuff my hands always seemed to find on various (non-human) surfaces.  Sex for the sake of it simply got boring and later depressing.  Mutual masturbation doesn't do anything for me and that's what recreational sex is for me.  I at least wanted to half-way like a person or his fantastic body did nothing much.  Men who can't kiss have always been a turn-off so I guess I am picky after all.

With all the "masculine" and "straight-acting" fags mincing around today I'm glad my libidinal urges are pretty well under control.   It's enough to gag a maggot.   Unless I have too much mango absolut & tonic... 
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2010, 12:11:35 PM »
Men who can't kiss have always been a turn-off so I guess I am picky after all.

I like a man who doesn't kiss, skips oral and just goes directly to plowing.  Preferably while shouting things at me in Spanish.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline GNYC09

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2010, 01:26:40 PM »
-->Guys i know what i want <--
... No picture = no chance, and one picture is no picture! No cock shots please! [/i][/color]

and this is exactly the type of moron that complains, "I can never find the kind of guy I like!"

now what actually annoyed me was the "AIDS neg!" part of his post.  What the hell?  I guess it's ok if you're HIV+ and don't have AIDS?  :o

Offline mecch

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2010, 02:34:24 PM »
Just for shits-n-giggles I dug up this:

http://www.tinmanic.com/archives/2001/07/09/the-west-side-club/

I rest my case.

Hmm, I never had that experience in a sauna or sex club. In fact, the opposite. Meeting quite different types of people and having fun.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2010, 10:04:10 PM »
Remember, if you have no standards you will never be disappointed! :)

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2010, 10:09:39 PM »
Remember, if you have no standards you will never be disappointed! :)

Yup...

To quote Jane's Addiction: "Nothing's Shocking" (especially on classy places like manhunt or adam4adam). 

As long as they are not overtly racist or hateful towards people with HIV I am unfased.

Philly, that blog entry about bathhouses was so on point.  Zombies and all.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline antibody

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2010, 12:29:23 PM »
this guy could be my next trick. nothing wrong with the post and so what if people like internet hook ups. Aren't we adults?
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Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2010, 12:40:45 PM »
Oh everybody's entitled to what they want, but he couldn't be your next trick because he very clearly stated he was not interested who was "AIDS POZ!".  That was a particularly brilliant moment.

I would turn this guy down in about 3 seconds flat because he's so amazingly full of himself.  People with a laundry list of what they do and don't want are in my mind not highly desired themselves for whatever reason.

"I only date unicorns from the planet mercury during the summer solstice.  Also if you're not half my age and have much more musculature than I do I just couldn't get it up for you"

...cannot stand people like this.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2010, 01:09:01 PM »
I think he is doing a public service by advertizing the fact he is a tool.

Offline Nestor

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #19 on: January 25, 2010, 06:16:18 PM »

I agree with Mecch completely here.  Even if I liked how he looked, and there weren't obstacles, I would be totally turned off by the strident, abrasive, arrogant tone.  Between the exclamation points and the syntax, the whole things sounds like he's shouting.  And "full of himself", just as Hellraiser says. 

I think anyone who responds to this, or finds nothing insulting about it, wants self-esteem. 

I also agree that the horrible thing is not this profile in itself but the fact that there are so many others like it; the cumulative effect of scrolling through a lot of them is rather depressing. 

I have been to the West Side Club, and I have read the article to which Miss P linked.  It is absolutely correct: walking zombies indeed.  And I agree that the websites reproduce the atmosphere of a place like the West Side Club.  One can indeed leave feeling "humiliated and shameful and gross" as the author says.  But it doesn't have to be that way! 

In Manila I went to the counterpart of the West Side Club and it was a different universe.  In the WSC people who are not intrested in sex with you avert their eyes in horror and people who are interested in sex with you stare with a hungry gaze.  In Manila even if guys weren't interested in sex they would chat and smile and be friendly.  If they were interested in sex they would flirt.  Afterwards nobody got up and ran away as if they thought what they had just done was a distasteful thing they wanted to get rid of as soon as possible; they would stay around, chat, have a drink--basically treat each other as human beings.

In the WSC there is NOTHING to do but sex: one either lies in a room, or wanders in circles looking at guys lying in rooms.  The showers are cold and minimal, and that's it.  In Manila there was a jacuzzi, a sauna, a bar, a kareoke room...sex was integrated into various other ways of being human; it wasn't like recreating one of the circles of Dante's Hell.  And the club in Manila was far cleaner and better decorated than the one in New York--actually that can't even be said as the club in New York is not decorated at all.
Summer 2004--became HIV+
Dec. 2005--found out

Date          CD4    %       VL
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Apr. '07    553    30      24,270
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #20 on: January 25, 2010, 06:33:01 PM »
Jebus honey, nobody is forcing you to spend hours in a sling at a bath house or sitting for hours scrolling through manhunt profiles.  Go sit by the piano at The Monster on Sheridan Square, sip your sea breeze and belt out show tunes.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #21 on: January 25, 2010, 06:42:48 PM »
What if I want to sit at home and drink my seabreeze and belt showtunes while perusing manhunt profiles and judging people?  :D

Offline Angel-Ronnie

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #22 on: January 26, 2010, 07:04:59 AM »
or you can browse through profiles and see if you can spot the difference in top and bottom as they say todays top, tomorrows bottom. .......
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Offline Florida69

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #23 on: January 26, 2010, 03:26:46 PM »
Also, the word versatile, in this day in time, I am finding being newly single and all means bottom.  lol
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
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Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #24 on: January 26, 2010, 05:14:02 PM »
Also, the word versatile, in this day in time, I am finding being newly single and all means bottom.  lol

99.6% of the time. And then there are supposed "tops" who specify in their profiles that they only want to be contacted by other "tops".   
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #25 on: January 26, 2010, 05:27:23 PM »
I just can't imagine why anyone would tell lies on teh intrawebz.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline decayingsinner

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #26 on: January 26, 2010, 10:01:31 PM »
This isn't very offensive. Although he is way too full of himself, at least he knows what he wants.

Offline joemutt

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #27 on: January 26, 2010, 10:16:40 PM »
99.6% of the time. And then there are supposed "tops" who specify in their profiles that they only want to be contacted by other "tops".   


or "position more bottom", lol  :)
« Last Edit: January 26, 2010, 10:19:24 PM by joemutt »

Offline David_CA

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #28 on: January 27, 2010, 02:00:17 PM »
Remember, if you have no standards you will never be disappointed! :)

My motto exactly!  I'm SO ready for summer and to go camping!
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Offline BlueMoon

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #29 on: January 27, 2010, 08:48:24 PM »
My motto exactly!  I'm SO ready for summer and to go camping!

A happy camper here too.  Good times!  Woo!
...................VL.....CD4.....%
-----------------------------------------
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Appalling hook-up profiles.
« Reply #30 on: January 27, 2010, 08:54:05 PM »
Lyme disease via scrotum... fun!
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

 


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