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Author Topic: Reflections and some words of encouragment  (Read 2112 times)

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Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,102
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Reflections and some words of encouragment
« on: January 02, 2010, 04:02:41 PM »
Dearest family,

I am entering my 23rd year of living with HIV. And some reflections came to my head.

15 years ago I lost my boyfriend of 32 to a cardiac arrest. He was HIV neg and had accepted  and promised to take care of me to the very end. Well, I buried him instead.

I lost my job, my health, my income and so much more.
Met my future husband and married him in 2003. Started a fitness business in 2000, worked my butt off for 5 years until my husband met another man and left me. The business went bankrupt and I had a serious burnout.
I survived all that. And in the meantime many changes of HAART meds.

In 2008 I started a psychotherapy for one year. It gave me a lot of insight and also made me realise the losses and pain I had to deal with in my life.

Now, 2010, I am almost 55.

I celebrate my first anniversary with my new love, Szymon, who is 31 year my junior. I do yoga 4 times a week, picked up snowboarding again, started kitesurfing and diving, learn my my eight language, yes Polish and have no real healthissues.
I just take my 4 HAART pills every day around midnight and no supplements, no vitamins or any other drugs. I do drink a lot of water, eat fresh vegetables every day, but I also enjoy some or too much wine and fastfood :)

I want to share this, not to spread out how good I feel, but to share that, in spite of so many years of HIV, so many lost battles, so many years of living with severe depression I have learned to develop a different look on life.
One that gives me a 'mindfull' realistic view on life.

I don't know how 2010 is going to develop, but I am grateful for all I can experience. A
And I also want to thank all of you for being here and for supporting me.
If it weren't for many of you here, I had most certainly succeeded in taking my own life.

May you all know how grateful I am to know you all  and this site.

With Love

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,194
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2010, 05:10:34 PM »
Hermie, may you live that many more years. Just think of the things you will see, do and enjoy in the future.

Rodney

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,896
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2010, 05:33:37 PM »
(((hugs)))...I still remember our first meeting, in the Hotel lobby in Toronto, I thought you were going to hug me to death, you were so excited about meeting everyone for the first time... :D

I hope you have many more great years to enjoy your good health and of course with Szymon.

More hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline PeteNYNJ

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  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2010, 07:19:31 PM »
Thanks Hermie

I really needed to read this today!

Here's to a great 2010 for all of us

xo

Pete

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,674
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2010, 08:07:32 PM »
I want to share this, not to spread out how good I feel, but to share that, in spite of so many years of HIV, so many lost battles, so many years of living with severe depression I have learned to develop a different look on life.
One that gives me a 'mindfull' realistic view on life.


Hermie,

   I thank you for sharing this.  I remember the difficult times you went through and I am glad to hear you are prevailing once again..  Personally I think stories like yours gives hope to those out there who think their situation is bleak.

   Thanks again....
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,783
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2010, 08:38:38 PM »
It's great to hear such good news Hermie, you deserve all good things, truly you do....Just remember dear, too much happiness can cause blindness !!!

Jody  :D
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,236
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2010, 09:21:23 PM »
Herman, I'm so glad to see this post that you are doing so well! You know that if things ever go sour in Europe you can always move South to Dixie...you already speak the language in in a sexy Southern drawl, too...!

Love and hugs,
Creighton

Offline redbull

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2010, 08:10:28 AM »
wow,  you have been thru so much and the HIV is only a part of it.  You are truly a stong soul and a survivor, thats for sure...thanks so much for sharing your story man...it is truly uplifting!!
If you wish to see the best in others, show the best of yourself.

5/20/09  tested poz
6/2/09  CD4-94    VL-380,000
8/09   Allergic reaction to bactrim
9/09/09  started Atripla
5/10    cd4 315  vl undetectable
3/11    cd4 400  undetectable
6/11.   Cd4 520. Undetectable
12/11. Cd4 450. Undetectable
6/12.   Cd4 600. UD
2/13.   Cd4 425. UD

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,102
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2010, 03:22:43 AM »
Thank you so much guys and girls.
I hope we can all celebrate many more yeras and anniversaries...

love

hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,581
  • 'class' of '87
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2010, 10:01:20 AM »
Dear Hermie,

You've walked through the fire and come out on the other side...

Blessings to you, my friend, in 2010.   May it be a good year for all of us!

Love & hugs,
Alan

PS - you know I HATE the odd numbered years, so I really celebrated on 12/31 at midnight!   Maybe I won't break anything this year, or have to have anything removed or 'fixed'.  LOL
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,358
  • 28 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2010, 10:16:03 AM »
Hey Hermie,

I am very happy you have come through your trials and have found a new life, and new love!

I hope 2010 is a good year that unfolds a bright time for us all.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2010, 01:20:15 PM »
Love you bud, and glad to hear that things are far better than they once were.  Loads of work on your part of course, but that determination to keep on keeping on is priceless for us survivors.

Glad you are still here to celebrate 55.

I just had 63 yesterday, and outside of the black chocolate cake I made for myself; it really was the first "Non-birthday" I've had in years.  What a refreshing thing to be able to say.

I celebrate this milestone right beside you, and send you big love.

Tim and his Sweetie.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,102
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2010, 03:36:11 AM »
ALan sweetie... we both survived the blaze... you are a strong man as well... and I love your dry humor.
one of the keys to survive in my eyes.

Mark, thank you. You also have that humor in you... man, did we have good fun..

Moffie... happy birthday and great to hear you are doing fine... sending my love to both of you from cold rainy Belgium. And yes, I did work hard on myself.

love

hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,613
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #13 on: January 21, 2010, 11:14:27 PM »
Thanks for your story.  Your former partner died of heart attack at age 32?  Makes ya really think how fragile life is. 

Offline Boo Radley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,252
  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2010, 01:44:10 AM »
hermie,

you deserve all the best life can give & i sincerely hope you and Szymon and your family and other loved ones get the most joi de vivre & et cetera possible!  you've single-handedly battled numerous problems successfully.  i hope you're here for 2020, 2030, and many more decades to come!!

L&K,

Rob/Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline OzPaul

  • Member
  • Posts: 410
  • a very blessed 29 year ltnp
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2010, 02:37:36 AM »
Dear Hermie

I'm so happy for you that everything is good for you these days !! Have a great New Year  :D

Paul xxxoo

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,102
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Reflections and some words of encouragment
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2010, 04:53:51 PM »
Even the doggies are totally cool and relax together... they met 2 months ago when my bf had his dog flown over from the US. ANd they love each other... and thus sometimes have a big fight...lol

Thanks Paul and Boo.
I am certainly not the only one  that overcame tsunamis...

Tednlou, yes, he died at 32... no warnings... and he was hiv-.

xx Hermie

[attachment deleted by admin]
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

 


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