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Author Topic: Help!  (Read 3056 times)

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Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Help!
« on: August 20, 2006, 01:05:18 PM »
All-
At times when I thought that I had got rid of my guilt, I went away to visit a friend this weekend cuz I needed a break from my sister and her bf. This is a guy who has constantly been after me for close to 2 yrs. He knows that I am engaged but he still is after me. We decided to take it slow at first and he was the one whom lead me to being guilt-ridden in the first place. Well when I got to his place, we both decided to take a nap. Nothing came of it as we both took all the pre-cautions eg condoms, dental dams, etc... Yes, we had sex; but I did not feel guilty about it then. Today I do.
It was the first time that I fucked a man. We did take the precautions of lube, condoms, etc. I had the condom on and there were no air bubbles inside. Somhow when we were both at it, the condom broke. We both did not realize it until I got up and began taking the condom off. Now, it was not just a little tear. We both freaked out and he decided to spend an xtra long time in the bathroom scrubbing himself as clean as possible. I then said that we shud take the pre-caution of having him do PEP and he will contact his contacts at the Health Department tomorrow about it. I do feel guilty about it and I threw away all my condoms. They were still good, as the one we used had an expiration date of 9/2010. I doubt that matters. The fact is that it broke. This is the very first time that I thought that it wud happen cuz of the high rate of success w/ the use of condoms.
I need some advice. What else can I do? I know I shud also investigate the whole PEP idea w/ him, but I do not know what to investigate. I think that it is the regular HAART medication, but I think it is only a month supply. Please help!

RobT

 


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help!
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2006, 02:05:04 PM »
Rob,

PEP would be a very good idea in these circumstances. Try your local hospital first - many ERs carry the necessary drugs for PEP. Usually only a few days or week's worth of meds are given, along with an appointment to see a specialist before the meds run out so a refill can be prescribed.

He needs to start this within 72 hours - but before 36 is best. The sooner PEP is initiated, the better. Depending on when this happened, and whether or not PEP is available through emergency measures, maybe you could call your own ID doc first thing in the morning and explain what has happened.

Get to your nearest hospital and try that first. Good luck Rob - I'm sorry this has happened to you and your friend. 

By the way, if you didn't ejaculate inside before you discovered the break, this lowers his risk considerably, but he is still at risk due to any precum that may have been present. Get working on this ASAP.

Keep us posted...
Ann
(who has her fingers crossed)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Help!
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2006, 02:15:17 PM »
Thanx for ur advice Ann. U have always been there for me even when I initially received my heart breaking diagnosis. I will try my local HIV doc in the morning when the hospital staff r there at work. Right now, my friend is at his work looking for an HIV specialists number who lives in the area.
My friend 1st noticed the break in the condom as soon as we dislodged ourselves. I did not think anything of it cuz I heard instances where a condom wud break r rare til I put on my glasses. I am literally blind w/o them.
On the more positive points, he has taken it well, although; I still feel incredibly guilty cuz of it. My viral load is finally undetectable and I employ very strict procedures to maintain 100% adherrence of my meds. I go insane if I even miss my med dosage w/in a 5 minutes timeframe. My friend does understand that it takes two to make the decision that we both made, but I'd rather err on the side of caution.
He is such a very good friend and it wud pain my so much if I "infected" him w/ this dreaded bug.

RobT


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline blondbeauty

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  • Posts: 1,784
Re: Help!
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2006, 02:19:33 PM »
Rob, my ex-boyfriend recieved PEP last year. He recieved the meds at the emergency room of his local general hospital: Combivir and Sustiva for one month. He is negative!
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline Ann

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Re: Help!
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2006, 02:28:17 PM »
Rob,

I would urge you to get him to an emergency room first, and if that fails, then try for a specialist. It's Sunday so your best bet is the ER. Remember, time is of the essence here. The sooner PEP is intiated, the better.

The fact that your viral load is undetectable is definitely in his favour, but he has still had a risk. Don't waste any time - try a specialist tomorrow morning as a last resort.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Help!
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2006, 10:30:09 PM »
Hello RobT, it is Eldon. I am wishing you and your friend good luck with his PEP initiation. Make sure he understands the necessity of taking doses as prescribed by the Doctor so that he does not develop any Resistance to the HIV virus that he has been exposed to; make sure he sees a Doctor BEFORE (72) seventy-two hours has passed.

Educational Purposes:

http://www.aids.org/Factsheets/156-Treatment-After-Exposure-to-HIV-PEP.html#anchor67858

Offline bobik

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  • Posts: 315
    • My worksite
Re: Help!
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2006, 04:48:50 AM »
Hi Rob,

It is monday now and I am sure you have undertaken action already, so I just want you to know I feel sorry that this happened to you. This is one of the most sad things about HIV, this fear to infect someone.

BTW you being undetectable is a good thing, the risks for him are really smaller.

Hug

Coen
Coen Honig at Facebook

Offline Poz Brit

  • Member
  • Posts: 158
Re: Help!
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2006, 06:36:20 AM »
Hi Rob, I can only mirror the others on this, wishing you luck strength to get through this, you are in my thoughts.

John(UK)

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Help!
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2006, 07:55:03 AM »
All-
My friend's update.
When we initially discovered that the condom broke, he quickly showered and spent xtra time in the bathroom cleaning up and I got on his computer and took the necessary cautious step of seeking advice on PEP. From what I heard anywhere from an initial-72 time period. He is an undertaker so he has friends in the medical field already like the county coroner. He phoned his friend, the county coroner, and we rushed to the nearest big city type ER and he was given his 1st dosage of PEP which he took. He took an initial dosage of Combivir and was perscribed that plus Virascept for a 5 day period. He will go in this morning when the county health office opens as it was a very scary moment for both of us. He understands that he has to taken the medication as perscribed. I have been telling him a month and from all the charts that we read yesterday sounded a bit right. I told him to let me know as quick as possible as I do feel terribly guilty over the accident. We both shud have known better, but we were thinking w/ our wrong heads at the time.
We were in that ER within 5 hrs after it happened. The doctor had all the information of being worker related since they have not had any incidents of it being sexual. I know it happens.
From what my friend has told me he feels kinda bette, well not having to b in the predicament he is in right now, but he has known my status since day one, he knows how much it means and the importance that medication means in this situation. He also feels that his risk is small considering that my viral load is undectable and that I taken my meds religiously always maintaining that 100% adherrance.
I am not a religious person, but I do have crucifixes and other relgious items around and I will b spending time in church sometime today.
Well, ppl r following in and that means that work is about to begin. I certainly wish my friend the best. Thanks everyone for all ur advice.

RobT


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help!
« Reply #9 on: August 21, 2006, 08:55:59 AM »
Rob,

I'm very happy to hear your friend was able to start on PEP so quickly. Here are some articles you might find helpful:

PEP (Aidsmap)

More PEP (Aidsmap)

PEP links (Aidsmap)

You might also want to print out the relevant drug info lessons here on AIDSmeds.

Your friend also needs to know that when PEP is used, it extends the window period by four weeks. A conclusive hiv antibody result can be obtained 12-13 weeks AFTER his last day on PEP. The course of PEP will be 28 days/four weeks. They probably will run a baseline antibody test on him (if they haven't already) just to make sure he wasn't already hiv positive.

Thank you for keeping us posted. Let your friend know that we are all pulling for him - and he is most welcome to come to us for support during this time.

Hugs,
Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Help!
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2006, 06:58:20 AM »
Thanx for all ur help and support on this. My firend did receive an initial dosage of PEP w/in 5 hrs after it happened. We spent forever trying to obtain the meds and the doctors were saying of how important time is of an issue, but they took forever in dispensing of the meds, which drove me insane. I was in tears at the ER and it was my friend who calmed me down. He did all the talking while I was there for the emotional support.
I never thought I wud b this scared before in my life. I mean one scare of me getting HIV was enough for me, but this is too much.

RobT

9/27/2005-1st test results
Viral Load >1,000,000
CD4 204
CD4%age 18
CD4/CD8 ratio .23
11/24/2005- Sustiva/Truvada
04/18/2006
Viral Load 140
CD4 402
CD4%age .21
CD4/CD8 ratio .39
06/27/2006
Viral Load 42
CD4 409
CD4%age .21
08/01/2006
Viral load- undetectable
CD4 493
CD4%age .33

Next lab: 09/01/2006


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help!
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2006, 07:18:34 AM »
Rob,

Five hours is fantastic and represents a very good chance for your friend to stay negative, especially when coupled with the fact of your undetectable viral load.

I'd like to repeat my invitation to him - if he feels he could do with some additional support while he goes through this time, he is more than welcome to come here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Help!
« Reply #12 on: August 22, 2006, 06:30:08 PM »
Ann-
B4 we both left to the ER, my friend gave me the choice whether I wanted to go or not. I decided to join him for the emotional support that he needs and I was a participant, so I felt terribly guilty cuz of it. I joined him at the ER. Truth b told, no 1 wants me to act as their emotional support in an ER cuz I was in tears. My friend was strong and took in all the doc's advice. He spent time calming me down saying that we were both active participants, we both shud have known things like this can happen, and that I shud stop blaming myself for the consequences.
I did spend a good deal in church yesterday. It is odd that I went considering that I normally do not go. I did also make an appt. to begin my process of converting to a particular religion.
I will go ahed and contact him extending ur invite to these forums, Ann. I called him earlier b4 I went to work and was amzed that he was up. Being an undertaker, he has to b on call most of the time just waiting for the inevitable to happen. What a life!

RobT

9/27/2005-1st test results
Viral Load >1,000,000
CD4 204
CD4%age 18
CD4/CD8 ratio .23
11/24/2005- Sustiva/Truvada
04/18/2006
Viral Load 140
CD4 402
CD4%age .21
CD4/CD8 ratio .39
06/27/2006
Viral Load 42
CD4 409
CD4%age .21
08/01/2006
Viral load- undetectable
CD4 493
CD4%age .33

Next lab: 09/01/2006


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Help!
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2006, 07:05:01 AM »
My friend sounded so hostile when I called him last night to ask how he was doing. He was saying on how sick he is, mind u this guy has never been sick b4. He is does not normally take any medication, but he understands that he has to b on PEP for a month long period and he will take meds for that. I just hope that he is experiencing side effects from the meds and not something else.
I can never forgive myself for what happened and I am not sure how others in this forum would if the potential of passing it on is real. I know that I will always b there for him, well much more in a supportive manner than I have in the past. I did something terribly wrong and I just hope that he can forgive me for it.

RobT

9/27/2005-1st test results
Viral Load >1,000,000
CD4 204
CD4%age 18
CD4/CD8 ratio .23
11/24/2005- Sustiva/Truvada
04/18/2006
Viral Load 140
CD4 402
CD4%age .21
CD4/CD8 ratio .39
06/27/2006
Viral Load 42
CD4 409
CD4%age .21
08/01/2006
Viral load- undetectable


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help!
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2006, 07:54:52 AM »
Hi Rob.

Did you tell your friend about this site and did you print the relevant drug information out for him? Chances are he IS experiencing side-effects due to the drugs as it is too early for him to be experiencing seroconversion illness. That normally develops around two weeks after infection.

It's common for people who are taking PEP to feel unwell. They are very strong drugs, after all. Tell him to hang in there. Better four weeks of drugs than a lifetime.

You hang in there too, and stop beating yourself up so much. That won't be doing YOUR health any good.

Hugs,
Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Help!
« Reply #15 on: August 24, 2006, 06:44:43 PM »
Ann-
I know that beating myself up over this will not do me any good. I have not told him about this ite yet or any of ur healpful advice as we both have not been communicating. I have left him emails and I call him, but we have not spoken that much til recently. I sent him flowers to show that I do care about him and to show my supportive nature. He was happy to receive them and he called me earlier at work.

RobT

9/27/2005-1st test results
Viral Load >1,000,000
CD4 204
CD4%age 18
CD4/CD8 ratio .23
11/24/2005- Sustiva/Truvada
04/18/2006
Viral Load 140
CD4 402
CD4%age .21
CD4/CD8 ratio .39
06/27/2006
Viral Load 42
CD4 409
CD4%age .21
08/01/2006
Viral load- undetectable


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Help!
« Reply #16 on: August 24, 2006, 07:40:15 PM »
Hi Rob,

Aw, flowers. Sweet.

Next time you send him an email, include links to the drug pages. Even if he doesn't respond, he'll likely click on the links and read. Include some of the PEP links I gave you earlier too.

And don't forget to be kind to yourself. No excuses.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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