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Author Topic: Just had this confirmation...  (Read 2551 times)

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Offline lylanova

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Just had this confirmation...
« on: February 10, 2010, 11:47:10 AM »
Hi everybody... hope my English will be good enough to share with you my pains.
Some weeks ago my fiancée went to the last dermatologist, after that other couldn't found what type the spots on his skin were, and he told it could be Kaposi's Sarcoma. He has been tested for hiv and result was positive. CD4 number was 192. We will meet the doctor tomorrow to have the confirmation about the Western Blot and the result of the biopsy... but... meanwhile I took the Elisa and Western blot exams too and they're both positive for me...
We met 4 years ago... and it's one year that we have bought our home and live together. I really love him... and still trust on him...
When we met, I had have no sexual relationship with no one... and have never used condom with him...I'm sure he has never betrayed me... and that he has the hiv at least from 2004... when he had his last "unprotected" relationship.
During these weeks I had some moments were I found myself having a positive thought, and an extraordinary force inside... other moments, like now... where I feel so depressed, and sad... and have so many fears. Please stay with me.
"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am "
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

Diagnosed 02/2010- prob. seroconversion Feb 2007
02/2010 CD4 416 (16%) VL 52.416
03/2010 CD4 362 (16%) VL 102.530
04/2010 CD4 425 (17%) VL 91.245 started Kaletra+Truvada
05/2010 CD4 547 (17.5%) VL 883
07/2010 CD4 335 (18%)    VL 35
09/2010 CD4 646 (??%) VL undetactable !!! yesss

Offline 1228GUY

  • Member
  • Posts: 64
Re: Just had this confirmation...
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2010, 02:15:16 PM »
Hi Lyla,

I like the quote from Iris - Goo Goo Dolls!!  I do now know what your first language is but if it's spanish, let me know, I would be more than happy to communicate with you privately as well, but your English is perfect!!! I understood everything you talked about in your entry.

I want to let you know 2 things.  I am so sorry that you now are HIV Positive.  Number 2.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY it will all sort itself out, YOU AND YOUR LOVER WILL BE OK!  I just found out about my HIV Status in December of 09.  In the past few weeks, I have only met people that are willing to help and encourage me with this new situation I was handed.

I really love him... and still trust on him...
When we met, I had have no sexual relationship with no one... and have never used condom with him...I'm sure he has never betrayed me... and that he has the hiv at least from 2004... when he had his last "unprotected" relationship.

1. You Really Love Him
2. You Still Trust Him
3. You Feel Sure He Has Never Betrayed You

You are blessed with the things listed above!  You have been able to keep your love present, regardless of your new diagnosis.  It is completely ok to feel angry, sad, depressed, feel like you have made peace with it.  There is no instruction booklet on how to deal with this but you have your lover and your lover has you.  The reality of it is that you are both HIV Positive and you need to make some new adjustments BUT you will both be able to overcome this if you are supportive of one another.

Everyone in this forum has been extremely nice to me, that is just the majority of the people that you will encounter now.  YOU AND YOUR LOVER WILL BE OK LYLA... I know it does not seem that way but wait and see.....  I'm still adjusting to the news myself, you are not going to die, you are just living with it now.  Feel free to send me a private message on here if you like.....

Keep Your Head Up, That's The Only Way You'll Be Able To See The Sun Light!  :)
12.28.09 - Rcvd call I should test
12.29.09 - Confirmed
01.19.10 - VL 30015  CD4 172
03.18.10 - VL 1627    CD4 193
04.15.10 - VL 965      CD4 248
07.09.10 - VL 227      CD4 233 (19%)
08.12.10 - VL 99        CD4 280 (18%)
12.03.19 - VL 79        CD4 262 (21%)
02.09.11 - VL 90        CD4 376 (19%)
05.20.11 - VL 106      CD4 196 (25%)
06.23.11 - VL 82        CD4 289
08.05.11 - VL UD       CD4 286
11.04.11 - VL 54        CD4 305
03.02.12 - VL UD       CD4 523
04.30.12 - VL 74
08.12.12 - VL 153      CD4 353
11.15.12 - VL 43        CD4 443
01.11.13 - VL 39       
03.29.12 - VL UD        CD4 640
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Truvada.Norvir.Prezista - Serostim HGH

Offline lylanova

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Just had this confirmation...
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2010, 03:01:13 PM »
Hi! Thanks a lot for your message. I really appreciate it... and now after some tears and dinner with my fiancée it's better.
First of all, my native language is Italian (I'm from Italy and currently live in Milan), but no problem if you prefer to speak in Spanish, also because it's difficult for me to practise it, so... we could add fun to our messages... and I really would love to make friends here, friends that share my conditions and can understand me... actually only my parents and his parents knows about our situation and we prefer not to tell to anyone in our families (my sister... as she's married with a man that is so... ignorant in this matter that I do fear he could decide not to let me meet my little nieces anymore and I do not want this as they already live far from me, and the 3-4 times a year I meet them they bring me so much joy and life!! I love them... and my first thought after knowing I am now positive, was for them... ignorant me!!! I was afraid I could have infected them... I now Know this has no sense!!!).
Anyway, you can also feel free to contact me in private... I think it would be easier for us both if we know we have a friend somewhere always ready to listen and caring!!!
Thanks for what you said... I know I'm lucky into this tragedy. Me and my lover will be together no matter what happens... we are planning to marry next year... and nothing will change our plans...
The only thing that still scaries me is that I really would like to have a baby one day, and I know it's possible, but there is the 2% of risk that the baby can be positive... and... this is a tragedy for me... Hope in the next years science will go on and put the percentage to 0%.
I'm happy to have met you, and thanks for all your words... I know you're telling me the truth, but... I think that only time will be able to calm me!!!
A big hug... and a smile.
Take care!!!!!!
"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am "
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

Diagnosed 02/2010- prob. seroconversion Feb 2007
02/2010 CD4 416 (16%) VL 52.416
03/2010 CD4 362 (16%) VL 102.530
04/2010 CD4 425 (17%) VL 91.245 started Kaletra+Truvada
05/2010 CD4 547 (17.5%) VL 883
07/2010 CD4 335 (18%)    VL 35
09/2010 CD4 646 (??%) VL undetactable !!! yesss

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: Just had this confirmation...
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2010, 03:10:16 PM »
Welcome!

As is our custom, allow me to say I'm sorry you've joined but I'm glad you found us all the same. :)

As 1228 says, things will be OK. If it helps, we have a specific spanish language forum here for poz bodz.

MtD

Offline lylanova

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Just had this confirmation...
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2010, 03:24:20 PM »
Thanks a lot matty!!! I really appreciate it and already found the information pages both in English and Spanish!!!
Let me reply that I am sad to be positive, but happy to be here with you all.
A big smile.
and.. take care!
"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am "
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

Diagnosed 02/2010- prob. seroconversion Feb 2007
02/2010 CD4 416 (16%) VL 52.416
03/2010 CD4 362 (16%) VL 102.530
04/2010 CD4 425 (17%) VL 91.245 started Kaletra+Truvada
05/2010 CD4 547 (17.5%) VL 883
07/2010 CD4 335 (18%)    VL 35
09/2010 CD4 646 (??%) VL undetactable !!! yesss

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: Just had this confirmation...
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2010, 03:27:13 PM »
I should also add that we have forum that is exclusively for HIV positive women. You may find this helpful as well.

MtD

Offline lylanova

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Just had this confirmation...
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2010, 03:33:06 PM »
You're so kind!!! Have already post there a message and already find some f the girls there so extremely lovely!!!!
 ;)
"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am "
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

Diagnosed 02/2010- prob. seroconversion Feb 2007
02/2010 CD4 416 (16%) VL 52.416
03/2010 CD4 362 (16%) VL 102.530
04/2010 CD4 425 (17%) VL 91.245 started Kaletra+Truvada
05/2010 CD4 547 (17.5%) VL 883
07/2010 CD4 335 (18%)    VL 35
09/2010 CD4 646 (??%) VL undetactable !!! yesss

Offline lylanova

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Just had this confirmation...
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2010, 08:37:54 AM »
we've been to he doctors today and met the ones will take care of us in the next years.
to be honest i'm preatty well now. They assured we can have a normal life, and also have a baby in the future...
In the next days we will have to do a long list of exams, and then start the medecines... but they said us to live well, and stay in peace.
And... I trust them... and I'm sure we will have a long life together been happy, despite of this virus...
How could a virus be stronger than us???

Luv.

Bless you all.

TAKE CARE

lyla
"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am "
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

Diagnosed 02/2010- prob. seroconversion Feb 2007
02/2010 CD4 416 (16%) VL 52.416
03/2010 CD4 362 (16%) VL 102.530
04/2010 CD4 425 (17%) VL 91.245 started Kaletra+Truvada
05/2010 CD4 547 (17.5%) VL 883
07/2010 CD4 335 (18%)    VL 35
09/2010 CD4 646 (??%) VL undetactable !!! yesss

 


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