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Be like "clarke"

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clarke:
I work a WFM in the Seafood Dept.  I have a pretty good Team Leader who "always" says when he sees me, "oh to be like clarke".

Little does he know there are many days that I don't want to be "like me", much less even me.
I know this is more than likely "depression" talking.  We (depression and I) have been "friends" for many years.  And I'll come out of this later on today or tonight like I always do.

But now, I just feel.....well, I'm sure many of you know.  Today for some reason tho', my "friend" feels a little bit more "boo-hoo" than usual.

And I've gotta go clock in, so I'll see ya'll tomorrow.

allopathicholistic:
do you take anti depressants? it's good that you know your patterns. just curious: are you the type to hold things in? apprehensive to share? put on a happy face 'for the world'? is that why the team leader says 'oh to be like clarke'?

clarke:
the only "anti-depressantx" I take is 2mg. Lorazopam, 25mg.Elavil and 1 hit off of my little pipe at night.

I'm not sure of "patterns", as I've never really taken notice.  My mother and one of my younger brothers have been diagnosed with a myriad of problems (ADHD, depression, anxiety etc.). I know things like that can be heriditary, but I've never seen anyone about them.  Mainly fear of the meds, as my brother and mother are always seeming to have to be "dialed-up" or "dialed-down" on the strengths.

Hold things in?  Yep
Apprehensive to share? Yep (also, can't do much "sharing" in where I work).

"Happy face"?  ;D  You betcha!   ::)  Gotta leave problems and stuff at the door.  Customers complain if one doesn't smile or have a "happy" attitude.  Which is really difficult many days, as my feet/lower legs ALWAYS hurt.  If I'm not limping on one leg, it's the other (peripheral neuropathy).  MD isn't sure what more to do about it, or why it's seeming to get worse (I take the max of neurontin).

 

allopathicholistic:
I will pray things get better for you. Non-disclosure in the workplace is complex/heavy. I know first-hand  :-\

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