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Author Topic: Please help. I really need your advice  (Read 1791 times)

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Offline samcontrol

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Please help. I really need your advice
« on: January 06, 2010, 09:43:22 PM »
Andy, Ann please help. I need your expert advice on this.

In the last 6 months, I have had three possible exposures. All with the same person. On all these occasions, the ONLY thing I did is kissing (open mouth) and me fingering her (I am a male). There was no actual intercourse or oral sex at all.

I did not think about this much until recently when I started to research on this. I have come across multiple, conflicting views about HIV transmission through kissing and fingering. Since I was so worried about it I went and got tested last week of November 2009 which came back negative. It was a big relief for a while but after reading more about the “window period” I am now worried that my test was done inside the window period (given that my last exposure was in the second week of November 2009). Now I am thinking I should get tested again and worried sick about it.

I did talk to my Doctor about this and he says my exposure was a no risk activity and I don’t need testing.

I don’t know what to do. Am I at any risk of contracting HIV from these exposures? Should I get re-tested? I am really nervous and keep thinking that I have put my wife and the kids in danger. The guilt and anxiety is making me lose my ability to think about this with reasoning and I find myself checking my body for every little symptom (rash, swollen glands etc...) Am I over reacting? Is testing medically warranted? Can I just put this whole ordeal behind and move on in life?

Please help me. Your advice is greatly appreciated.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please help. I really need your advice
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2010, 02:49:32 AM »
You shouldn't have thought anything about it because you never had a risk.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please help. I really need your advice
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2010, 08:21:03 AM »

Neither kissing nor fingering are risks for hiv infection. You do not need further testing. You ARE hiv negative. End of story.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline samcontrol

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Please help. I really need your advice
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2010, 03:45:07 PM »
Rod, Ann, thank you both for your encouraging advice. I honesty want to believe what you are saying. I am trying very hard to not to dwell on this but the thought of what if scenarios just keeps me worried. I will try to move on. I will take your advice that no further testing is required.

Just one last question if I may. Does month-to-skin contact such as sucking on breasts/nipples or neck poses any risk of HIV transmission? Can I resume my normal life with my wife and kids without the worry of HIV from the exposure i have described above and in my previous post?

Thanks again for your help.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help. I really need your advice
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2010, 04:30:20 PM »
Mouth-to-mouth contact such as sucking on breasts, nipples and neck are absolutely not in anyway risks for you for HIV. It is only infants under 6 months old who are at risk when being nursed by and HIV positive mother because the baby's immune system hasn't kicked in at that early age.

You are worrying needlessly and can continue your normal life with your family.
Andy Velez

Offline samcontrol

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Please help. I really need your advice
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2010, 07:23:19 PM »
Andy, thanks again for your help. I shall try to put this behind me and move on. It just that when you are worried about something like this, it's hard to think positive. But, with the help of people like you, Ann and Rod, we try to find the courage to come out these situations.


Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 29,929
Re: Please help. I really need your advice
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2010, 08:52:08 PM »
You're welcome. Get on with your life. If there was any risk we would have told you so.

Andy Velez


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