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Author Topic: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.  (Read 1748 times)

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Offline Sincerely

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  • Posts: 5
I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« on: November 10, 2009, 04:16:31 PM »
Hello. Iím a 30 year old heterosexual male in a long distance relationship. Both my girlfriend and I tested negative in October of 2008 and we have been engaging in unprotected sex (maybe once a month) ever since. I love her very deeply and was planning on proposing soon. Iíve known her for seven years now and weíve dated once before in 2003. I canít help but cry when I read some of the other posts on this site and think about the mistake I recently made.
On November 3, 2009 I had (what I thought was) protected sex with a female that I had met that night. The condom came off and I was unprotected for maybe 2-5 minutes, I didnít ejaculate. She also performed unprotected oral sex on me before the vaginal sex. Two days later (November 5, 2009) the lymph nodes in my right inguinal area was tender. On November 7, 2009 I developed mild flu like symptoms which included; fatigue, extreme loss of appetite, tiredness, mild night sweats, insomnia, a body temperature as high as 98.8 f, and on occasion I can still hear and feel my heart pounding while the heart rate increases. On November 9, 2009 I had the HIV antibody, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis tests performed and results are still pending. They also gave me two shots of penicillin as a preventative measure. On November 9, Iím still having difficulty sleeping and a loss of appetite but most, if not all of the other symptoms have subsided, except the insomnia and the mild discomfort in the right inguinal lymph node area. Iím suffering extreme anxiety and Iím pretty sure that the lymph nodes under my chin are tender as well, but a nurse at the medical office didnít notice any swelling.
Does this sound like a typical acute HIV syndrome? Iím feeling a lot better now, (November 10, 2009), despite not being able to sleep and the tender lymph nodes. I plan on taking the HIV PCR test, but when should I take it? I will take the HIV antibody test again in February of 2010. How do I tell my girlfriend about the situation? Please help.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2009, 04:36:45 PM »
Sin,

The only thing you did that put you at risk for hiv is the unprotected intercourse. Getting a blowjob isn't a risk.

The symptoms you experienced came on too quickly for them to have anything to do with hiv. It normally takes more like two weeks for symptoms to occur, if any occur at all. You know, sometimes feeling flu-like just means you have the flu. It IS flu season, after all.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. Your chance of continuing to test negative following this one time incident is very good.

PCR tests are not approved for diagnostic purposes because they have a high rate of false positive results. I do NOT recommend you go this route. All you need is antibody testing. The earliest you should test is at six weeks, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time. When there has been a risk, a six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

I do expect you to test negative following this one time, brief, unprotected encounter. Make sure you read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can avoid this sort of mishap in future. Correctly used condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection, so get reading.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sincerely

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  • Posts: 5
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2009, 05:10:07 PM »
How long does ARS continue? I did kiss the woman once lightly on the lips but no fluid exchanged. What are the odds of it being the flu?

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2009, 05:35:27 PM »
Sin,

If ARS happens at all - it doesn't always - it doesn't begin until at least two weeks after infection has occurred and it usually lasts about a week. What you experienced does not fit this pattern and does not sound hiv specific. The odds that you had the flu are exceedingly great.

Kissing is absolutely not a risk for hiv infection. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. This is also why getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection. It sounds like you need to read the Transmission Lesson linked to in our Welcome Thread

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. (And mate, by the sounds of it, you are NOT securely monogamous. This is not a judgement, it's merely an observation.) To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sincerely

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2009, 09:36:53 PM »
November 10, 2009
Ann,
Thank you Ann. Your responses are greatly appreciated. 

Iím pretty sure Iím seroconverting. My lymph nodes are still swollen, I donít have an appetite, and I canít sleep for longer than 10 minutes without waking up. The female I had sex with was supposed to get tested with me yesterday but never showed up and now she wonít even answer her phone. How weird is that? I know the odds are low for a man to contract HIV from a woman but I canít explain this sudden onset of illness after the sexual encounter. I have ruled out the flu being the cause because I donít display any of the common symptoms associated with it. I.e. dry cough, runny nose, and dry or sore throat plus I havenít had the flu in years. The lymph nodes around my groin have never felt this way. I just took sleeping pills, so maybe Iíll get a good nightís rest tonight (havenít in four days).

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2009, 10:35:19 PM »
Sin,

Just because you haven't had the flu in years does not mean you don't have it now.

Test at the appropriate time and in the meantime, stop self-diagnosing. Hundreds of things can cause swollen glands - including touching them all the time to see if they're swollen. If you feel unwell, see a doctor.


Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sincerely

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2009, 11:13:51 AM »
On November 10, 2009 I didnít sleep well, even after taking the sleeping pills. I can feel my heart racing at night. When I lay down, I can feel my head falling as I try to fall asleep but is bounces back as if Iím falling asleep sitting up. I donít understand this at all. I felt a lot better on November 11, 2009 during the day but at night I feel terrible. I probably slept for two hours last night and woke up this morning at about 2am. Couldnít go back to sleep due to pain in my shoulders and on the right side of my abdomen just under my rib cage. I stayed up until 4am and then lay down on the couch and started to feel a tingle sensation on both of my arms. I also felt chills.

Maybe the more severe symptoms of acute hiv infection is about to start and the symptoms I described starting on November 5, 2009 was mild incubation time symptoms. Iíve read other post about acute HIV infection starting only a few days after exposure.

Iím really worried. Iím sure this is an HIV infection. If I donít get any sleep soon I will probably go crazy.
What do I do? Iím contemplating ways to commit suicide because I donít want to feel this ill for the rest of my days.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,597
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2009, 12:38:55 PM »
If you're feeling suicidal you should go to the nearest emergency room and tell them that. As for your symptoms, you should be discussing them with your doctor instead of mistakenly diagnosing them yourself.

There is absolutely nothing in anyway HIV specific about any of your symptoms. 
Andy Velez

Offline Sincerely

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2009, 10:44:35 PM »
Is there any sleep disorders associated with HIV infection? If so, what is the underlying cause of it? Why does this happen? Has anyone ever had a tingling sensation in the legs or arms during any stage of HIV infection? Is this a symptom?

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2009, 05:09:24 AM »
Sin,

How many times do you need to be told that we don't discuss symptoms here? However, I will say that it sounds like what you're suffering from is stress. See your doctor.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in need of help. Please read and respond.
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2009, 08:46:24 AM »
Sin,

I deleted a post you left in someone else's thread. If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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