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Author Topic: need someone to talk with  (Read 1835 times)

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bleueyes

  • Guest
need someone to talk with
« on: November 27, 2009, 02:58:55 AM »
I am living in vegas without friends.  I just want to meet some people who live near me or a least talk with people.  I don't do much in my day, I actually don't do much but take care of my fiance.  And I am not even sure if I do a good job at that.
I spend my time cooking or sewing.  I am new at sewing, and am on cafemom, but I can not be confident in the fact that I am so great that my health would not bother people. 
So I am on here again, after not being on here after awhile, and wonding if other HIV positive people live around vegas.  I am tired of sitting around people not knowing how they'd truely feel or think about me, if I told them of my health. 
I feel really vulnerable at times because the only weakness I ever had this great has been living with my disease.  In fact my fiance is the only person I know with it. 
I have not been on here for awhile because I can't always find the right thing to say.  It feels like lying if I can't get it right.  Then I don't want to air my laundry.
So I guess I am lonely and it's been awhile since I have had any friends.  My best friend who always was so great passed when I was 23, of kidney failure. 

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: need someone to talk with
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2009, 08:49:45 AM »
Hi Bleu, sorry to hear you're having a hard time. You've got to remember that having hiv is just one part of you - it does not define everything about you. There's no real reason why people won't like you just because of it. Stop being so hard on yourself! You deserve to have love and friends in your life just like anyone else. Don't let this damn virus stop you - because that's all  it is - a damn virus. It's not like you're going to pass it on to anyone just by having a coffee and chat.

I'm sure there are plenty of people living with hiv in the Vegas area. There are at least six ASOs (aids service organisations) in the Vegas area, and several of them have support groups where you could meet others. You could also possibly do volunteer work with one (or more!) of them and that would get you out of the house and meeting people too. I urge you to have a look at the ones listed below and give at least one of them with support groups a call.

The Center

afan

Caminar

NAP

STC

NALA

You may also want to think about attending the unofficial AMG (aidsmeds gathering) meeting in Vegas - I think it's going to be in August. You can find out more about the Vegas gathering in the AMG Forum. The official 2010 AMG is in London, and of course, if you can manage it, we'd love to see you there as well. The London AMG is taking place in May.

You're also welcome to become a regular in the "Ladies Thread" found here in the Positive Women's forum. The current Ladies Thread can be found here.

Hang in there Bleu. Get yourself out to one of those support groups available in your area and start meeting people and living again!

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline emeraldize

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  • Posts: 3,353
Re: need someone to talk with
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2009, 10:00:10 AM »
Hi Bleu

Ann has given you good advice. I think the friendship of women, as you've realized being isolated from them, can be the best medicine (no matter what ails you).

It sounds like you don't have family in Vegas either and that makes it harder to not have the support of those who know you best---assuming you've got some good relations going there.

The ASO's are a good place to start and I totally agree that volunteer work, for any group in need, helps to put things in perspective and often takes the attention away from one's own woes.

The holidays seem to make it tougher to get through less social times, but there's someone out there waiting for you to show up, too!

Em


bleueyes

  • Guest
Re: need someone to talk with
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2009, 03:12:49 PM »
Thanks for the suggestion.  I have my daughter here with me now, she is 11 and very smart.  And I live with my fiance, he wants a stay at home wife to take care of him.  He doesn't mind me having friends though.  Are doing things that Aaren't troubling. 
I really don't feel I have too much control in my life.  I have been trying to figure out how to get in control of my life, and not so thinking of it either.
I will look into the organizations to see if I can volunteer, this may just be loneliness because of the holidays. 
I am not able to travel to London for the meeting.  I will look into the meeting information for August.   

 


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