Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 29, 2014, 03:08:29 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632275
  • Total Topics: 47877
  • Online Today: 259
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: I am still worried and for good reason  (Read 4129 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
I am still worried and for good reason
« on: August 17, 2006, 03:33:40 PM »
Ok, so this is going to come off as sounding kind of morbid, but I really want to know what you guys think.  Do any of you have contingency plans in place in case viral breaktrhough occurs and no options are left?  Like, say you've become resistant to everything and there's nothing in the foreseeable future that could save your life...do you have assisted suicide plans in place?  Bc dying of AIDS sure isnt any way to go...I'm thinkiing sort of a Million Dollar Baby sort of end.  I'm just wondering...

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,277
Re: In case things don't work out...
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2006, 03:41:26 PM »
mempto, I've been at the door step twice and let me tell you that you'll be to sick to care. Rest assured that they will keep you comfortable the best that they can. You won't need to even think of assisted suicide. I don't know if you are feeling low or what, but I think it's a thought some of us have had. I'll continue to fight until my last breath and I really hope that you will too.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,941
Re: In case things don't work out...
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2006, 03:43:46 PM »
Ok, so this is going to come off as sounding kind of morbid, but I really want to know what you guys think.  Do any of you have contingency plans in place in case viral breaktrhough occurs and no options are left?  Like, say you've become resistant to everything and there's nothing in the foreseeable future that could save your life...do you have assisted suicide plans in place?  Bc dying of AIDS sure isnt any way to go...I'm thinkiing sort of a Million Dollar Baby sort of end.  I'm just wondering...

Wow, and a happy hello to you...we don't know you or your HIV circumstances, and until I do it is none of your damn business. This might not be an appropriate first post.

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
4 months
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2006, 03:51:38 PM »
Wow, it's been 4 months since my risky encounter and I can't gether the courage to go get tested.  I just can't do it bc I'm so afraid of th results.  I've had fat/muscle loss in selected areas of my body (butt, shoulders, rib area, face) and now I'm getting strange skin  problems on my left leg and foot...small blister/bumps.  I've had odd neurological symptoms on and off (burning sensations) and had a 1 day flu/fever 8 weeks past exposure.  I swore I'd get tested at the 3 month mark, but I just don't wantto find out I'm positive.  It's too scary. 

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: In case things don't work out...
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2006, 04:01:44 PM »
Hey Rapid Rod, are you doing okay now?  Are you stable?  How have you been able to make it through the two times you thought there was nope?  Did some new medication come out that saved your life? 

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,277
Re: In case things don't work out...
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2006, 04:08:59 PM »
Yes, I'm doing real well. I just had one med that caused another med not to work, but so far we have it under control. I only had to switch to a liquid solution instead of the capsules. You know what they say, "If at first you don't succeed, try something different." :D

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 4 months
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2006, 04:33:28 PM »
mempto,

I merged the thread you started in the Living forum with your thread here. Please read the Welcome Thread and read the posting guidelines. As a person who is questioning their status THIS is the only forum you should post in. Thank you for your cooperation.

Please also follow the links to the Transmission Lesson. What you might think is risky behaviour might not be and we can't help you on that score unless you tell us what has you worried.

Symptoms or the lack of symptoms means nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Only the appropriate test at the appropriate time will reliably inform you of you hiv status.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Really Scared and For Good Reason
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2006, 04:22:25 PM »
So, here's my story.  Back in April, I had sex with a guy (I'm gay btw) that I didn't know well.  I am so so so so so stupid and irresponsible.  I can't believe I let myself do this.  We used protection, but the condom broke somewhere along the way.  Anyway, it was my first time being penetrated (I'm such a dumbass for this)...the thing is, he certainly didn't penetrate all the way before the condom broke, but he did penetrate far enought to leave my ass somewhat sore for the next week.  Anyway, he told me he could not penetrate far at all...I know he didn't but he did penetrate somewhat.  Anyway, he definitely didn't ejaculate but, as we all know, there was precum.  Anyway, intercourse didn't last very long, but there was enough contact to be dangerous.  Also, the guy had a pretty sketchy history...despite telling me he was negative, I don't really believe him...I have a strong eeling he didn't know his status and was just telling me what I wanted to hear.  Anyway, well the symptoms have come up and they scare the crap out of me.  About 4.5 weeks past exposure, I developed a strange, very noticable burning/tingling sensation in my limbs..it was pretty constant for a few days and then it would come and go for the next few weeks, lasting a few hours and then sort of stopping.  I had a one day massive fever/flu at 8 weeks past exposure. Add to this, I've had loose stools ever since the exposure..,this is new to me and shouldn't be happening unless something is wrong.  Most worrisome of all has been my weight loss...10 poounds give or take.  I've lost fat all around my body..in the face, shoulders, arms, torso, hips...the sad part is I can't seem to get back to my original weight despite the fact that I'm eating my normal diet..I should probably actually be gaining weight.  Seriuosly, my shoulders have gone way down, my ribs are showing, my arms are skinnier and my butt is no longer as round as it used to be.  I actually stopped worrying about HIv for a few months when I was with my family so if all of my symptoms were psychological, I feel like I should have recovered from them after a few months of no worries.  In addition ,another really scary thing has happened...my skin (especially around my torso) has become very strange..I no longer have a smooth complexion..now it's blotchy with light and dark spots all over the place.  In addition , I've had bumps on my scalp and more cold sores/mouth ulcers than is normal.  It's all so worrisome.   This has all occurred over the past 6 months.  My 6 month anniversary is on Thursday..I really don't want to get tested bc I have this sinking feeling I'm definitely positive.  Why the hell would I be losing weight and developing all of these skin abnormalities?  I know the risk seems low bc he didn't fully penetrate me or ejaculate, but if he was positive, I think he infected me.  Also, he had surgery for lymphadenopthy a  few weeks before we had sex..bad sign he was infected...he was also having unprotected sex for about a month with his ex boyfriend who was a risky guy about a month before we had sex.  All of it points to him being infected and me being positive too.  I can't take this.  Why did this happen to me? 

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,396
Re: Really Scared and For Good Reason
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2006, 04:45:20 PM »
First of all, how about you stop the pity party right now, with "why did this happen to me?" It happened to you because you chose to have anal intercourse and the condom broke. It's no more or less complicated than that.

You also should stop practicing medicine on yourself without a license. It's bad for your health. You need to know that neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test can give you that answer and you can take it anytime now and get the result you need. Given this was only a single instance and ejaculation did not take place, I would say the odds are in your favor that transmission did not happen.

Certainly there is nothing in anyway HIV specific about your symptoms. If you have physical concerns you should be discussing them with your doctor instead of wringing your hands and continuing to (mis)interpret them as being signs of HIV.

Hopefully you will come out of this ok. In general it's a good idea if you are sexually active to have a full STD panel done regularly -- at least annually and every six months is even better. You are responsible for your own health, so make sure that whoever is inserting is always wearing a latex condom. No exceptions.

Good luck with your test result and keep us posted. And please don't tell us you are too scared to get test. That is not going to fly here. You've been torturing yourself for months now. Get and get your test done. I think odds are you are going to test negative, but HIV is never something to guess about.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: Really Scared and For Good Reason
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2006, 04:56:33 PM »
Hi Andy, sorry if I came off like I was trying to give myself a pity party.  It was more just a moment of frustration, among many.  I know the decision I made was really dumb even when protection was used.  I just don't want to pay for this for the rest of life.  It's a lot to be concerned about...still I know I have to get tested, which I plan on doing on Friday.  I am just very scared and hope everything turns out ok despite my fears that things are not ok. 

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Really Scared and For Good Reason
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2006, 06:01:52 PM »
mempto,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

This is the second time I've had to merge your threads. Get with the program!!

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2006, 06:06:16 PM »
I know this is probably the wrong forum, but I can't post in the Living With forum bc I don't know my status yet (although I have a really bad feeling based on body changes that I'm in for bad news).  Anyway, I have visited thebody.com many times and I love the docs there.  They are really amazing...the thing that I'm still a little hung up on is their collective opinion  that HIV is not NECESSARILY a death sentence anymore.  In fact, they even say that they expect the majority of their NEWLY diagnosed patients to live a normal life span.  WEll, I like that they're optimistic about this very serious disease, but I can't help but feel like they're looking at the situation with rosy glasses. I keep reading that people are dying of AIDS or by diseases that may not have been directly related to AIDs but were probably caused by HIV infection or HAART.  I feel like if AIDS doesn't kill positive people, then some other disease related to HIV infection and its medications will.  Arghh.  What do you guys think?  Am I looking at a healthy life or an extended poor quality of life? 

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2006, 06:29:36 PM »
Mempto,

This is the THIRD time I've had to merge your threads. What about us asking you to not start new threads don't you understand? Get with the program already.

Why haven't you tested yet? Stop with the speculation and get tested. Testing is the ONLY way to know your hiv status.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2006, 09:50:12 PM »
Okay guys, well, I'm getting tested tomorrow. I have a terrible feeling it's going to be a bed result, but I'm trying to prepare myself for bad news.  I had the unfortunate condom breakage thing with a guy that in hindsight was probably positive.  Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well.

Offline alisenjafi

  • Member
  • Posts: 811
  • They say HIV comes from monkeys!
Re: Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2006, 10:07:01 PM »
When that day comes I will pop a few Sustiva and reread this thread! 

Cheers
Johnny
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #15 on: October 27, 2006, 12:35:56 PM »
Hey guys, I got my results back today.  It's been a little past six months since my encounter.  WEll, I'm happy to say thatmy test came back negative.  The thing that bothers me is that the woman who tested me used the Oraquick rapid oral swab test.  I don't know if I swabbed my gums hard enough.  Also, I've read it takes 20 minutes for a result to come back.  She gave me my result after 10 minutes and said there was one line so I was negative.  Shouldn't she have waited until 20 minutes was up?  Perhaps the second line could have appeared in the next 10 minutes?  I'm freaking out that she didn't do the test correctly.  Help.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2006, 02:09:10 PM »
mempto,

I'm quite sure that your test was done properly. Those tests are VERY easy to use correctly - that's why they're so popular.

You are hiv negative, period, end of story. Please protect that negative status by ALWAYS using condoms for intercourse.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #17 on: October 28, 2006, 04:08:10 PM »
Hi Ann, thanks for your support.  The thing is, I can't get it out of my mind that she only gave the test 10 minutes as opposed to 20 minutes.  She sounded very confident that everything was fine.  Still, could the second line have popped up during the next 10 minutes?  Or if you're positive, do they BOTH show up at the same time? 

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Will HIV Positive Live Healthy Lives?
« Reply #18 on: October 28, 2006, 04:52:04 PM »
Mempto,

If you are absolutely certain that the test wand had been in the developing vial for less than twenty minutes (but now more than forty) before it was read, then you may want to retest.

However, under the circumstance of your very brief possible exposure (with no ejaculation) you are unlikely to test anything other than negative, although you may want to retest for peace of mind.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mempto

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
I am still worried and for good reason
« Reply #19 on: March 15, 2007, 11:31:32 PM »
About 11 months ago I had a risky anal sex enoucnter with a gay male...I was the receptive partner and the condom broke, but there was no ejaculation...it was my first time and he did not penetrate me all the way. After 6 months of worrying a lot, I took the Orasure Rapid Oral HIV test. The woman who gave me the test told me to come back in 10 minutes...so I did...and she told me the result was negative...I had nothing to worry about...only one line was present. So this was 6 months past my risky exposure. In between that risky enounter and when I got tested, I engaged in oral sex with a few guys...no ejaculation occurred in any of these instances, but I may have had some gum sores while oral sex occurred (which scares me). Anyway, I'm scared that the 6 month test was a false negative, bc for the past few months I've had change in stools (consistent loose, light-colored stools), strange skin abnormalities (darker and lighter areas..almost like stripes on parts of my abdomen), and just recently consistent bleeding gums...the gums around some of my teeth look pretty bad. In addition, I've been having a lot of headaches and have not been sleeping so well. These symptoms really scare me and make me think my test was not accurate (I remember Dr. Young on thebody.com said it wasn't unusual for a blood hiv test and rapid oral test to have different results!). In addition, scarily, I've been losing hair on my scalp (seems like beginning stages of balding)...which started within the past few months.  My scalp also feels sensitive..it actually hurts when you touch it...my mom noticed some red spots at one time on my scalp.  Also, did the oral sex pose a major risk? I'm so scared. My symptoms make me think my immune system has already degenerated.  The bleeding gums, rapid loss of hair, skin discoloration, headaches, skin sensitivity, and loose stools ALL the time...they really worry me.  I think maybe the tester didn't wait long enough (10 minutes is too short, right?...I thought it was a 20 minute test).  Either she didn't wait long enough, or I got a false negative. 

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: I am still worried and for good reason
« Reply #20 on: March 16, 2007, 12:05:24 AM »
mem-

Trust the test you have and the negative result you've already received. It was done by professionals dedicated to containing HIV as much as possible.

You symptoms, such as they are, sound like stress. Sore gums, hair loss,watery stools, etc all sound like stress. But one can never diagnose anything over the web, so get yourself a thorough check-up.

And your "risky anal encounter" doesn't sound much like it qualifies as either. When you say that "he did not penetrate me all the way", what does that mean? Did he stop half-way, or did he just rub it around?

Again, I personally think you are getting yourself worked up over nothing. Trust the test...it's in no one's interest to screw around with such things.

Brent
(Who is 47 and still has a head full of hair)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.