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Author Topic: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!  (Read 25137 times)

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Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #50 on: November 23, 2009, 01:19:59 PM »
Omg! Betty_ what have you gotten yourself into??- She would have to bath the dogs first! but I wouldn't feel obligated to do it. My puppy got a bath yesterday, I waited 2 weeks since her frontline treatment, I also have wipes and doggie deodaorant for in between washes. Lucy is pretty much paper trained in the house, she also goes outside when we walk her. I clean up after her right away when she goes on the puppy pads. She is growing, and having fun playing, always underfoot and doesn't cry much anymore at nite.I have to take her in for her next shots and an allergy shot, she is scratching even with the cortisone doggy spray, they say she needs an allergy shot. all the fleas gone. She is one smart puppy! but boy do they cost money! Luckly I found a dedicated Vet who charges 20.00 per visit,plus extra for frontline and special shots.The allergy shot will be 15.oo extra which is still good.

Oh the weekend womens health summit was great!, we had my id doctor and a  gay judge,who is one of our members.Nurses  and our local aids sevice org., Diversity House ,( which provides services and housing for many here in middle GA.)and our sisterhood group. We had a panel discussion about aids, breast cancer,stds, domestic violence and showed the movie , we also did rapid hiv testing.. We had a nice lunch baked chicken rice and green beans .and cheese cake for dessert. Oh and Starbucks coffee!

on a sad note, prayers going up to the dad and family of the sweet little girl who was murdered and raped last week, it was all over the news. Everyone in the country is outraged! I hope he fries!!!
« Last Edit: November 23, 2009, 01:33:19 PM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #51 on: November 24, 2009, 05:44:12 AM »
Netta, I don't understand why my boss doesn't bathe her dogs.   I bet your puppy is adorable.  A couple friends mentioned their dogs having allergies.  My cat does also, I believe, because the problems she has with her ears are what my friend's dogs get because of their allergies.  The one friend gives her dog Benadryl.  That Aids program you had sounds really cool.  I wish I could have been there.    And about that little girl, are you talking about the one whose mother sold her into like slavery?  I heard about that one, and I know she was raped and killed.  That was one of the most henous crimes I've ever heard of.  I hope everyone responsible gets what's coming to them.

One more day then my boss will be gone.  She says she's going to be in today until 1 or 2.  I wish she would leave this morning, but no such luck.  Is anyone planning on going shopping Friday?  I'm staying home, where it's safe.

I wonder where  Queen's been?  I hope everything's alright with you, girl!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #52 on: November 24, 2009, 06:57:38 AM »
Betty, my mom and I always go shopping on Black Friday.  After Thanksgiving dinner, everyone has to clear out of the kitchen so we can spread out the ads, compare them to web ads, check our lists, and plan our attack.  We meet at 4am in IGA's parking lot and off we go!  We're well armed with fruit, munchies, and walkie-talkies.  Honestly, it's as much about the 2 of us getting away for the day together as anything.  Hubby takes the kids to the movies and out to lunch.  This year he's taking them to see "Planet 51".  Last year they saw "Bolt".

Well, it's official, our dryer has died.  Hubby's pretty sure it's "just" the heating element and ordered one yesterday.  Originally it was supposed to be here next week but after checking again last night, it had already been shipped and estimated date of arrival is TODAY!  We hung our clothes out on the wash line yesterday, but it was cold, cloudy, then finally it rained.  I have dirty clothes piled in the bathroom, but I'm trying to wash just what we need.  I have very limited space to hang stuff to dry inside.  Of course it would have to go out on a week where it's supposed to rain everyday.

Netta, Lucy sounds so sweet!  Hubby's taken up the task of litter training Ava.  That way when it's nasty outside (think 12 inches of snow), she can go in her litter box.  We're hoping she'll also use it when we're not home so we can keep her out of the crate.  We'll see what happens.  Cresteds are notoriously stubborn.

You ladies have a wonderful day and a safe Thanksgiving!

Love to you all,
Mum :-*
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #53 on: November 24, 2009, 11:52:51 AM »
Betty-- I have been here. Just mainly reading and not responding.....Hope everyone has a nice Thanksgiving...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #54 on: November 24, 2009, 03:04:55 PM »
Betty- yes thats the same little girl.
Queen- we love you!!!!! :-*

I thought about giving my puppy benedryl,at least till she gets her shot.
Well I am very lazy these days, gettingready to cook for thanksgiving. Me and lucy just hanging around the house. Also getting ready for World Aids Day. I found out we tested 12 people at the womens summit last week! thats great!
My camera lens got stuck when my dd dropped it! I am mad now, don't know if I can get it fixed!
"to thine own self be true"

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #55 on: November 25, 2009, 05:50:39 AM »
Mum, I hope you and your mom have fun shopping.  I miss my mom (and dad), especially around the holidays.   I remember when I was a kid, putting our poodle out on his chain in the snow.  He would immediately do his business, and want to come back in.  He got cold!  My parents had a small chain for him to go out on, that was hooked onto something by the house, right outside our back door.  That way we didn't have to walk him during the winter.  Good luck with Ava.

Queen, I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving as well.  Please take care of yourself, and let us know how you're doing every once in awhile.  We do miss you.

Netta, I believe giving animals Benadryl goes by how much the dog weighs.  So, you may want to ask your vet how much to give the puppy.  And I hope your camera's alright.  That would suck if it was broken.

Netta mentioned that poor child that got sold into like slavery by her mom.  I can't stand crimes against children.  Well, in a town here, a couple got arrested for having a meth lab in their home.  They also had a 6-year old girl, who has "meth mouth."  What this is, according to the doctors, is when the teeth are rotting, and the gums are diseased, because of breathing in the toxic fumes that result from making the meth.  People use dangerous stuff to make that, but I hear it's highly addicting.  I know there's not a very high success rate among meth addicts who attempt recovery.  Not that it's impossible.  But not a lot of people who try to quit meth stay clean for long.  And that's sad. Anyway, that story about the 6-year old girl made me really pissed off. 

Today is the last day I have to work until next Monday (yay).  And I plan on leaving an hour early.  My boss won't be there either, which is even better.  I really do like her, she just drives me crazy.  And a couple other people are watching her dogs (yay again).  Tomorrow I'm going to my sister's in-law's for dinner.  I hope all goes well.                     OK, you guys have a good one. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #56 on: November 25, 2009, 06:34:44 AM »
Well, things just keep getting worse.  The heating element for the dryer came in yesterday (yay!) and Hubby was able to find the hose thingy that goes from the dryer to outside.  So, he replaced the hose thingy, put in the new heating element, took the back off the dryer and vacuumed out all the lint bricks that deposited back there.  Filthy dirty, he turned the dryer on and got an "Error 02" message!  What the heck is an 02 Error?  Why can't the stupid thing just tell us what's wrong?  Thanks to the internet, we found out that an 02 Error is when the thermester (I'm guessing thermostat) isn't working.  So, Hubby ordered one which should be here, again, next week.  And, just to add insult to injury - it's supposed to rain today so I can't hang the clothes on the wash line.  So today I'm going to wash only what we need (socks, undies, and jeans) and find somewhere to hang them. 

Yesterday was a nightmare trying to get Ava to go outside to potty.  We live in the woods and even though our property has "no hunting" signs up, other people's property butts right up against our's.  Seems like every time we took the dog out to potty, BOOM! rifle shot.  Our poor dog would bark, then high tail it back inside the house and shake.  Poor thing! 

Betty, have fun with your brother and sister-in-law tomorrow.  I so fully understand what you mean about liking someone while being driven crazy by them.  Will you be able to see your grandkids on Thanksgiving, too? 

Everyone have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving tomorrow.  We'll be spending the morning here watching the parade, then head off to my parents' house to pig out with mom's side of the family.  My very best thoughts and wishes for everyone of you.

Mum :-*
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #57 on: November 25, 2009, 07:45:57 PM »
I am having a bad day. Things are not going well for me at home with hubby. My dh is "off the wagon" so to speak and getting high again. I can't hardly believe it! He works but is a working crack addict!
Of all the things that could have happen to me this is the worst. and its not the first time, its the 2ncd time he stayed out all nite on his payday! come home waging his tail between his legs. paid 2 bills but spent the rest.Ok I  let that one time slide,but it put us behind a little. Now he got paid last week came right  home paid bills ,but the job owed him another  small check which he got aandcashed and gave me a little and put the rest in the bank ,50.00. Well he  decided last nite to have the car overheat and never made it home till 2am this morning, no gas in his car and not a dime left  in the bank!
I am not speaking to him. he said he would get help and stay out of my life. Good I told him, but he has to help pay my car loan,which is in both names. We got a title pawn loan some months ago. we planned to pay it all off at tax time. On top of all this my daughter is in the process of buying a house, due to close in DEC. 09!!! we are suppose to stay here and pay this high ass rent, b I love my dh and knew he had a past drug habbit, but in the year we've been together he has not used to my knowledge, but has a drink now and then. Ok I blame myself .I feel stupid for thinking I had finally found the rgiht one. BUT I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR, KNOWING I SPENT 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE WITH A FORMER ADDITCT FOR A HUSBAND AND IT WAS HELL! jUST call me stupid, I gave up my section 8 for this man, thinking we could build a life together on our own. gave up my nice apartment and all. I wish I had stayed single! I have made the dumbest mistake. I am sorry I am just so tired and have to vent. My daughter wants me to move with her, I wll have to for a while, but I am use to having my own. He has to be a man and take care of him, I can't do this anymore!
"to thine own self be true"

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #58 on: November 25, 2009, 08:38:33 PM »
Netta, that totally sucks.  And it's really bizarre, because a girl that I work with had started seeing a guy who was supposed to be a "recovering" crack addict.  He just went out and used.  Now, this is what I've observed of crack addicts, and most addicts in general: when a true addict drinks, it will lead them back to their drug of choice.  My drug of choice happens to be whatever gets me trashed.  So, I stay away from it all-booze, pills (the really addictive kind), coke, heroin, whatever.  There's a line in the NA readings that states this: "thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to relapse.  Before coming to NA, many addicts viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be confused about this.  Alcohol is a drug.  We are people who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover."  (Can you believe I recited that from memory?  That comes from going to meetings for so long).  But, I'll tell you, Netta, those meetings are lifesavers for addicts.  Without them, hardly anyone stays clean.  I'm not saying that all addicts have to go to meetings, but a person has a much better chance of success if they do.

Now, down to you blaming yourself.  Hey, stop it.  He had you believing he was clean, and he was for awhile.  You took him at his word, which is what we're supposed to do in life.  You didn't force him to use again, Netta. He did that on his own. It has nothing to do with you.  Only he can want help, and get it.  You did nothing to cause this.  And about making a mistake, hello, you're human!  We can't stop our emotions from loving someone.  You believed him when he took those vows, and I'm sure he meant them.  He has a problem, an illness, plain and simple.  Nothing you did caused it to happen.  Now you've got to take care of you.  If you need to stay with your daughter, then that's o.k.   It's better than living with someone who's going to go crazy with crack.  I also was in a relationship with an addict who kept relapsing, and it was hell, so I know what you're talking about when you say about being in a relationship with a drug addict.  You can't put yourself through that again.  You're innocent in all this, Netta.  So, try to relax, take a breath, and figure out what you need to do to immediately take care of you, and let him go on his way.  About the car note....I know his name is on the title, with yours, but the reality is he may not make any payments.  Well, you know what I'm talking about, since you've been with a using addict before.  Using addicts put drugs before anything else.  When you're figuring out what you're going to do, you may want to try to figure something out with the car. 

This is one long post, I know.  I just want you to relax a bit.  Take a hot bath, with bath salts, or bubble bath if possible.  And try to have a good day tomorrow.  Don't let him ruin your holidays.  And don't think you have to take care of him.  I'm behind you 100%, and we all love you here.  Please take care of you.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Snowangel

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #59 on: November 25, 2009, 09:52:13 PM »
Netta- I am sorry to hear about your husband. I agree with BT, its not your fault.  Stay strong and take care of you.

Mum- Sorry to hear about your dryer.  I am still catching up for when my washing machine went down.  I have a septic tank so I can only do 2 loads a day, which really sucks.

BT- Hope you had a good day at work.

I don't know what is wrong with my computer, if BT didn't reply to Netta's post, I wouldn't have seen it at all, usually it takes me to the last one I read?  Scrolling up took me forever?  Sometimes modern technology is a pain in the ass!

I hope everyone has a enjoyable and safe holiday!  Happy Thanksgiving!
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #60 on: November 26, 2009, 06:28:00 AM »
Mum, I hope you and your family have an enjoyable day today.  That's too bad about the shotguns going off when Ava was trying to do her business.  And I'm also sorry about your dryer.  I recognize the need, with all those children.  Hopefully it will be fixed soon.  And no, my grandkids are in Pennsylvania with their "mom," visiting her mom and family, so I won't be seeing them. 

Snow, I hope you have a good day today as well.  I was reading in another thread, what you're going to be making today, and it sounds really good.

Netta, I also wanted to say, that if you do decide to stay with him, you may want to look up the number for Narcotics Anonymous in your area, and see if they have some Nar-Anon meetings (the equivalent to Al-Anon, only for addict's families).  And if they don't, you may want to check out Al-Anon.  They really do help a lot of people, and keep them from going insane.

I hope everyone has a good day today.  I, unfortunately, have been having some insomnia in the morning, to where I wake up really early (4:30-5:00), and can't get back to sleep.  Last night my daughter called me and wanted a couple recipes.  She was shopping (for food) when she called, and it sounded like she was really loading her cart up.  I guess the boyfriend's (baby's father's) family is going to their place today, and she wants things to turn out good.  So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they do.  Take care everyone. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #61 on: November 26, 2009, 09:32:09 AM »
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY WONDER LADIES!!  Make it the very best Thanksgiving ever.  Yes, we have issues.  Yes, we have our down days.  Yes, we have stressors. Yes, life sucks. But, YES, we are here and we are verticle - that in itself is reason to be thankful.  I am thankful for each and every one of you and what you mean to me and my family.  You are invaluable.  I love you all!

Netta, I'm so incredibly sorry about the way things are turning out.  I will definately pray for continued strength and peace for you, your daughter, and your grandchildren.  I will also pray for strength and deliverance for your husband.

Betty, what can I say sister-friend?  I'm glad that you will be spending the day doing the Polka with family.  Have a good Umpah for me. ;D

Snow, we have a septic tank and well, too.  My house looks horrible with clothes laid over and hanging over every surface imaginable.  Kids had to eat breakfast standing up because I have shirts drying over their chairs.  We have jeans hung on the curtain rods.  Can't take showers today (don't worry, we all took one last night) because, you guessed it, stuff is hanging over the curtain rod.  Hopefully it'll be fixed mid-week.

Our car is also still in the shop - 4wks on Monday.  We had to take out a student loan to pay for it.  I know that they are supposed to be used for education.  Well, without a car, Hubby won't be getting to school (over 45 miles away).  We borrowed a car, but they do want their car back - eventually.  If it's not one thing, it's another. :-\

Make it a good one, ladies! 
Mum :-*
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #62 on: November 26, 2009, 01:12:21 PM »
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE! WE HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR! I know  that even going through all of this I have to thank god for my life and health and a roof over my head, food on the table. I  put my faiht in god to work all this out, but I have a plan too. On top of all this if we break our lease, we are subject to pay out some money and thiswould mess with my daughters credit, but this would be after closing on the house. To me peace of mind is my goal, I talked to my dh and told him what was what, and that we are going to seperate come Jamuary and he must get a room, he agrees, and understands ,but knows he has no choice, weither he gets help or not i AM NOT RESPONSIBLE! I decided if I have  to ,I will pay my car loan myself, living with my daughter will be fine and her mortgage will be way less than the rent we pay now. so if I MUST PAY 300.00 a month out of my little 690.00 check so be it.! Hope fully he will keep his word and pay of the 2.000 loan at income tax time, I will do my best to see to it, because we are married and he doen't claim us till the end of the year, he should get back more than last year, which was around 3.000.
i AM STRONG AND SAYING MY SERENITY PRAYER, ALWAYS! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
I DON'T MEAN TO BURDEN ANY OF YOU, BUT YOU ARE LIKE FAMILY TO ME! I LOVE YOU ALL!

LOOKING FORWARD TO WORLD AIDS DAY!
"to thine own self be true"

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #63 on: November 27, 2009, 06:36:05 AM »
Mum, don't feel the least bit bad about taking out a student loan to pay for the car.  I took out one every semester for things I needed.  Living expenses are educational expenses.  I hope you and your mom have fun braving the crowds today. 

Netta, and don't you feel the least bit bad about talking about what's going on.  We're here for support.  You seem to be holding up pretty well.  I'm glad you're sticking to your guns with your husband.  He needs to prove himself, if he really intends to stay off the crack. 

Yesterday went well.  There was no polka'ing (I don't even think that's a word), but there was plenty of good food, and good people.  Today I have to do laundry, and get a couple things.  Today is dollar day at Salvation Army, and I sure would like to get a few things there.  Of course, that's going to depend on the crowds and traffic.        Nothing else going on.  You all have a good one.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #64 on: November 27, 2009, 11:52:56 AM »
Holy crap just lost my post.! Hi GF"S ! Hope you all had a great holiday! had a quiet  depressing dinner myself. and hubby. The girls went out. I wish I had money to go shopping today. I don't even have gas money! This is my fault  ,for depending on my dh and not saving any money on my own. We have seperate accounts, Thank God! but he should had 50.00 left in his account. OK fast forward, I know he spent that getting high Wed.nite, I was wondering why he came home so late, 2am, if he only had 50.00 to smoke up, that goes fast. I didn't worry cause its only 50.00 and he gets paid next week and is giving me the bank card so I can pay bills. He has direct deposit with his paycheck, which I thought was good, UNTILL.....I found out...he took much more money out the bank that he didn't have. Now how the hell did he do that?????? knowing he had 0 balance??? Well smartass dh deposited FAKE deposit slips! and was able to withdraw money at th same time!!!!! Call me stupid cause I never would have thought........any way he won't tell me how  much in all he took, says he doesn't remember!!!! OH HELL NO! So his paycheck will probly  be gone after the bank gets their money and late fees!!!!! WTF????  No telling how much  he took, this is stealing!!!! :o not only that, he picked up a woman to get high with.
I am so threw with him, but waiting untill income tax so I can get my car paid. So next week my car loan won't get paid along with a few bills. He thinks he can get it together get help and get a place and get me back. Thats HIS plan. I am keeping the peace, untill January, no way in hell am I going back to him.
If the house deal falls through, he will be moving! But my dd already pre-qualfied. and there is so much help for 1st time homebuyers. So we are praying it works out.

Queen- you think you are the only one going through???? hang in there baby!
« Last Edit: November 28, 2009, 12:19:00 AM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

bleueyes

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #65 on: November 27, 2009, 03:29:44 PM »
I was in Montana last year and got an apartment on section 8 and I had to move because my older sister was buying stuff from upstairs.  It was hard because I had to move back home where my parents lived in a senior citizen apartment and our bedroom was a linen closet we could fit a mattress on the floor, but had to walk over it to get t our clothes.  
Not only did I have to sneak in and out because I was not suppose to live there, but it was a struggle getting mty daughter to school on time, and keeping a ten year-old quiet.
My older sister moved in with her dealer, but that's why my parents let me back because I was working and managed to stay clean, while she partied.  But the lucky thing for her kids is their all grown up and doing fine in their own homes.
Good Luck.  And I'm glad your daughter is able to help.  
My Thanks Giving was good, my daughter was eating up a storm.  It's good when she likes what I make!  If she eats than I am happy! 

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #66 on: November 28, 2009, 07:13:00 AM »
Netta, I'm so sorry about everything your dh is doing.  Sorry for you, I mean.  You know, addicts who want to use will think of anything to do it, so your dh depositing those slips and taking out money is not a surprise.  It's too bad, but not surprising.  So, you're going to stay with him until he gets his taxes to get your car paid?  Just don't let him drive you insane until then.  If it gets too bad, get him out of there.  Your sanity is worth more than getting a car paid off.  Just take care of yourself. 

Bleu, what are you up to nowadays?

It's totally freezing here, only 29 degrees out.  Yesterday I got a twin sized electric blanket that was on sale.  In the apartment I live in, the landlord pays the gas, so he controls the heat.  And it's really chilly in here.  I don't like freezing in my own place.  I have one of those radiator heaters, but it doesn't completely do the job.  What I need is another one to put in the kitchen.  But, until then, the electric blanket does feel nice. 

Later this evening is my brother-in-law's 60th birthday party. I can't believe he's 60, and next March my oldest sister will be 60.  They don't look like it, or act like it.                       I guess that's it for now.  You all have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #67 on: November 28, 2009, 12:07:00 PM »
hi gfs, hanging in there, my dh went into search on the desktop computer and found my post here on the womens thread! we argued all night. He had no business going in my stuff.
I am not moving unless we close on the house and that will be in January when my dd gets her income tax, at that time he gets his has to move also, if he doesn't move sooner. I am not going to depend on him for anything, so i will probly end paying for my car.He knows  now we are not going to be together,and I am moving on with my life.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2009, 12:09:17 PM by netta »
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Offline keepingfaith

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #68 on: November 28, 2009, 06:41:57 PM »
Hey Ladies,

How is everyone doing. I have been looking but not posting much. When I get home from work and doing class work I am to tired to lift a finger. All is good over here in my hood. LOL. I am almost done with xmas shopping for everyone. I got my husband and my daughter out of the way. Now i just really have to foucs on my boys. My b-day was tuesday and it was great. I had a lovely day. I have been enjoying this 4 day weekend. I also catch myself feeling a lil depressed. It will be coming up to my 2 year anniversay with this bug. Do you guys ever think they will come up with a cure in our time

BT- have you started back to school
Mum-  HEY. LOl
Snow- what's good chich
Queen- hey! have you found your own house yet
Nette- Im sorry for how things are going for you. I will be praying for you. Thanks for the b-day wish


Well im am out. Im sitting under this hot hair dyryer. and now my page is jumping while i am typing

Offline Snowangel

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #69 on: November 28, 2009, 10:58:56 PM »
Keeping- Nice to see you!

Mum- I hope you survived Black Friday and your car is fixed or scheduled anyway.

Nice to see you again, Bleu.

Netta- Maybe you should cut up your ATM cards and get a new one for yourself, that your DH can't use.  Sorry to hear, he read your post, I know that can be very frustrating especially when we try to talk to them and they don't listen.

I have been feeling crappy lately, I am not sure if I picked up something at the hospital or I am just in a "mood" I have had no energy at all.  Do you guys know of anything that helps your energy level, besides a vitamin?
On a kind of funny note, I woke up to one of my little ones in bed with the other day and we usually fall asleep with the TV on.  The movie "The Cure" was on about the little boy that dies of Aids and my son was telling me what the movie was about and he described him as having "poison ivy blood" I thought it was kind of cute.

Hope everyone has a good night, my battery is about to die.
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Offline emeraldize

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #70 on: November 29, 2009, 10:31:32 AM »

I have been feeling crappy lately, I am not sure if I picked up something at the hospital or I am just in a "mood" I have had no energy at all.  Do you guys know of anything that helps your energy level, besides a vitamin?

Providing you're at no risk to do this and not ill with something you've not confirmed, try walking. If you start walking, it's amazing what this does for the muscles, blood flow and brain chemistry (and ta da! mood).

One of the chief things prescribed for no energy, (and depression or being out of sorts) is expending energy. There's that old science adage that comes into play " A body in motion stays in motion. A body at rest stays at rest." And, starting to move feeds upon itself.

After downing an extraordinary amount of Halloween candy and Thanksgiving chow, I now have five newly-cemented pounds to walk off---which begins today!

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #71 on: November 29, 2009, 12:58:05 PM »
Netta, you're right, he has no business reading your stuff.  We're your support here.  Tell him to go to an NA meeting and get honest.  That kind of stuff really pisses me off.

Keeping, wow, so good to hear from you!  And happy belated birthday!  About a cure, well, I've lived with this for 20 years, and I know there won't be a cure in my lifetime.  This virus mutates, so I think it's hard to keep pinned down.  The miracle that's happened in my lifetime is HAART.  It's so much better than the meds used to be.  Just keep your chin up.  Being that you were just diagnosed in the last two years, you're probably going to live a long, happy life.  And about school, I'm not going this year, school year I mean.  If I do go, it'll be next fall.  My immune system just took a hit, viral load shot way up, so I've had to change meds.  With starting a job (which I haven't had for 15 years), I have to stick with that for now.  I just don't have the energy to do that and school.  Anyway, hey, visit us more often!

Snow, Em gave you a good idea about walking.  I, unfortunately can't walk because of my knees, but I know there are definitely other exercises I can do.  And it really does help energy levels.  Maybe you're feeling a bit blue?  That's very normal around the holidays.  And especially with everything SB has been putting you through.  Maybe you should try watching a funny movie.  The Birdcage is hilarious.  And what your kid said was cute also. 

My brother-in-law had a 60th birthday party last night.  I didn't leave until 9:45 p.m., which is late for me anymore.  It was nice, though.  Tons of good food, and good people.  Other than that, I cleaned and went to the library and store.  Nothing at all going on today.  I really hope you lovely ladies have a good day.   And Queen, you are missed!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #72 on: November 30, 2009, 03:25:02 AM »
netta - im so sorry about what you're going thru with dh, stealing and snooping.. what next? stay strong sister. (((HUGS)))

snow - that was cute 'poison ivy blood'. these days i cringe inside hearing the words 'HIV/AIDS'

well i started meds on saturday morning. the doc put me on Efavirenz (Sustiva - that is one big pill) and ZDV+3TC (the bottle says Combivir).  saturday and sunday morning were fine but when i took the Efavirenz on sunday night i got so ill. all queasy and funny. i lay down for a while and when i got up it got worse and i had to go puke my guts out. i did feel better after that though.  i sincerely hope it wont be like this everytime i take it,  i totally hate it so far and to think i'll have to go thru that for the rest of my life?! i'm wishing i never started. the boyfriends trying to be supportive 'oh you'll get used to it, u'll stop puking soon' like he's an expert now.

em - think i'll take your advice too. get active instead of laying down and 'listening to my body' as they call it here.. 



Offline minismom

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #73 on: November 30, 2009, 05:55:05 AM »
Good morning, ladies!  The problem with last week is that it went by WAY too fast.  Today it's back to the grindstone and I'm just not that motivated.  Hubby has 2 wks of school left (this week and next) before final exams.  He's already warned me that we won't be seeing him much until it's all over.  Next semester is going to be a doozie.  He's upping his hours, taking classes M - Th (no online classes), and in March he'll be going to school on Saturday, too!  I just hope after all this he can find a job in his field.

Wed. Mim has an appointment for pre-admission testing.  It's a total waste of time. How much do you weigh, any metal in the body, confirm insurance, here's your sticker, goodbye.  They could just call for the info. - it would save my gas and their stickers.  MRI is scheduled for Dec. 11.

Snow, the car still isn't fixed. >:(  It's been 4wks today and the guy's already been paid $800 for the parts.  He's worked on our other car and always done a great job.  This time it's just taking a long time.  Mom and I had a really good time Black Friday - in the freezing snow. Friday, I was in bed asleep before 9pm.  Then up again Saturday morning at 4am :o  I laid back down at 1pm and woke up at 3:30pm.  It'll take me a couple of weeks to fully recover, but it's worth it. 

Keeping, I'm not looking for a cure, either.  I wish they (whoever "they" are) could / would figure out a way to keep the virus from causing so much periphreal damage.  Mim's virus seems to be under control (although her t-cells have decided to start bouncing all over the place) but while it's "hiding", it's still wreaking havoc on her body.

Try to make it a good one.  If you're somewhere warm - I don't want to hear about it ;).

Mum
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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #74 on: November 30, 2009, 02:31:16 PM »
HI GF'S how are you all ??
Mums- where do you live, you have snow already????
Betty- glad you had a good time.

I talked to my mom today in N.Y. and told her everything, she was shocked, but got my back and supports my decisions to get rid of my dh.
Also I have nothing much to say to him, he says I'm treating him bad, but I am numb,really.
Just can't wait untill he leaves.
I got a lot of mail from his bank and opened it. It says he overdrafted 500.00 in empty deposits!
also got some bank postcards with overdrafts. I called him at work and told him and he says he called  the bank and told them it  would be paid friday, with his direct deposit, but he swears its ONLY 435.00.
Does he not see the pink elephant in the room! ??
Anyhow he is still begging and telling me he needs me and I'm being selfish and I owe him a commitment. yeah right!
The old caddy he drives did not start today! I don't know why, I let him use my car, but I will be taking him to work at 4 in the morning tomorrow and most of the time.
I have to pay some bills tomorrow, He and I have seperate bank accounts. He will not get hold of my bank card, cause I hide my whole poketbook! and he doesn't know the pin number, I can barely remember it, I think I will change it just in case,cause he has used it before.
I am trying to be strong, worrying about these bills, is out of my hands I know. but I still don't know what I can pay and what not to pay wiht my little money. I was goin to let him use the caddy when he moves to get back and forth to work,  but it is not running for some strange reason and I am not getting it fixed. so he will be walking or catchin the bus when he moves.  I am still a little stressed till this is all over with come Ajanuary or before. My dd met with the bank today for her loan for the hhouse, i pray things go well.
"to thine own self be true"

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #75 on: November 30, 2009, 09:58:24 PM »
Goodness, Netta, you have had a hell of a time.  Ice has been clean and sober for 22 years.  I can't imagine him ever being one to use so much -- I have never seen that side of him, ever.  It was gone with the '80s!

I am hoping that your hubby comes around and does something to better himself, bec he is going down a very bad path -- you know that.

I am praying for you and I am glad to see how much strength you are showing.  yes, you need your own account, yes, you are on your own, yes, you will get through this.  I just hope your husband doesn't try to stick around and cling to you for cash or whatever, in order to support his habit.  He is going to end up on the street, it worries me.  How can you have that habit and be able to work?  I dunno.

Hang in there.

I have been busy taking care of Cheech.  He has been put on three new meds to help his skin and back.  They are helping but have started to make him sick.  Doc said to give him Pepcid, so I did, lol!  We'll see what the morning brings.


Good night to all,

Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #76 on: December 01, 2009, 05:50:06 AM »
Hey all,

Mum, it sounds like hubby is going to be extremely busy.  I hope your car is fixed before the next semester starts.  Wish hubby good luck from me on his finals.  I remember that time very well, and it can be extremely stressful.  But, it's almost over, for this semester at least. 

Netta, using addicts will always minimize what's going on.  I'm glad you're sticking to your guns.  I'm sure he's going to try to manipulate you to his advantage, so hold tough.  I know you can!  And we're here for you. 

Cin, aw, poor Cheech.  I hope these new meds help, without making him too sick.  And hopefully the Pepcid will help him.  Poor guy.  And oh, about someone working while using drugs, I know a guy who's an electrician, and works but is addicted to heroin.  Some people can do that I guess.  I never could, I got in too bad a shape. 

Well, another World Aids Day.  Not even a mention here on the news this morning.  I want to call the t.v. station and ask them why they don't mention it.  All they seem to be talking about is that the head coach of the Notre Dame football team got fired last night. I know that's a big story to some people in this town, but come on.  It used to be the headliner years ago. :-\

I have a pretty bad sore throat and stuffy nose.  My boss was sick yesterday, and kept standing over me coughing and sneezing.  I should have told her to back off while she's sick, so I guess it's as much my fault as it is hers.  And yeah, she knows I have Aids.  I'm going to drink lots of water to see if I can flush it out.                 That's about it for now.  You all have a good one.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #77 on: December 01, 2009, 12:35:01 PM »
Hey ladies---

I know it's been awhile since you have heard from me. And Netta, you are not the only one getting rid of mofos. I broke up with Papi last weekend and he kicked me out. Yep, so I am now in a women's shelter in Brooklyn. I guess he thought when he kicked me out since I had no money or anything that I would come crawling back to him. Guess again, bitch!!!!

Though I had no money, I jumped the subway and rode it for awhile trying to get my head together. My sugar crashed and I ended up in the ER of a hospital. I stayed the night in the waiting room and spoke with the hospital social worker the next day. She gave me money for the subway and directions to get to the shelter where I am now. Imagine me trying to lug around 2 suitcases with a cast still on my wrist.

Then come to find out that Papi had been going thru my cell phone at one point because he ended up texting a friend of mine back home. Telling her he was worried about me and wanted to know where I was. Saying he's been crying and hasn't eaten in 3 days...And the Academy Award goes to..... My friends back home want me to come back home but I am not willing to do that. I know I can get help because of my status here in NY so I am willing to ride it out here at the shelter til I can get that help.

But I have given up on relationships for good. I always seem to find the assholes for some reason. I can do bad by my damn self but shit always seems to go downhill when I get with a man. So, I am going to start being content being by myself because I think that must be the way things are meant to be with me for some reason.

I just wanted to check in and let you know what's been going on with me. I would never forget you guys, you are my strength and support when I feel like shit. Of course, Papi took back the laptop and the PS3. But it's all good, I will survive this as I have survived past mistakes.

We can get on the computer here at the shelter everyday except for weekends. So, I will stay in touch the best I can unless you want my cell number to talk or text me. If so, pm me and I will give it to you...

Cindy---Sry about that text I sent you. Believe me it was not meant for you but the asshole when he was harrassing me....

Have a good one ladies...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #78 on: December 01, 2009, 01:15:44 PM »
Queen, I am so sorry that happened to you.  I know you're a strong woman, and I'm here.  I don't have a cell phone, so I can't text, but if you can hear if I were to call you, then please pm me your number.  What an asshole.  I feel the same way you do-I don't want a relationship.  That doesn't mean I don't believe in love-I do.  But, for me, it's just a big hassle.  Maybe someday......

Hang in there, and please, please keep in touch.  I've been wondering about you, and I really hope things start looking up.  I'm definitely going to keep you in my prayers, and thoughts. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #79 on: December 01, 2009, 02:27:35 PM »
Hey ladies, Happy World Aids Day! i have a program tonite and a candle vigil.
Queen- I am so sorry for what you are going through, I don't know what happened , but remember god has better plans for you, plus he was unstable. At least you didn't marry the asshole!
I am through with relationships also. too much drama!
My heart aches for you because I wish I could do something,But I am not able, know that we love you and it will get better for you and for me.
Well my nerves are bad and my body still in shock, I have no apetite, but I am eating.
Today we got a cut off for the water bill, which is in his name. My dd paid her half but now the remainder plus the new bill is due, of course he doesn't have any of it. he says he is trying to get a loan to pay the bills, but I don't count on it, if the water is cut off we can cut it back on illegally, thats the only option right now. This is some fucked up shit!!!! Oh and today i found out he was on my phone trying to get into my voice mailbox! it had to be him because there were three attemps at around 3 am, which is when he goes to work! he is mad that I hide my wallet,says he never steals from his family, I can ask them if I want! DUH??? also he is a big man and claims it takes a lot to make him high, thats why he has always spent so much money. But he and his family says he always kept a job and a place to live. So what!
I don't live like this.I have been down and out, but not WITH a man.
I tried to wax my eyebrows today and almost caught the house on fire while heating twax on the stove, i forgot about it while reading the water bill! I also dropped some of the wax on my eyelid and eye lash ! go figure! I got most of it off, but i am just a clutz these days .I think I will stay away from anything that could cause a hazard. I need a drink and a joint to calm my nerves!!!
I hope I get my check tomorrow, I have bills to pay,that are all accounted for,and I cannot put another dime on the water bill. he called them to make arrangements, but they wouldn't because the account is not a year old yet. my dd will flip if the water is cut off. she and the kids will have to go stay somewhere. I am praying that won't  happen and that we can cut it back on.
Enough complaining.
Queen- the good thing is that you will have access  to all you need in the shelter for an apartment, foodstamps and anything else you need. I have been in a shelter before so don't feel bad. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !!! WE DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOU, I will be praying for you.
Papi and james both  need an academy award!
« Last Edit: December 01, 2009, 05:14:47 PM by netta »
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Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #80 on: December 02, 2009, 05:50:27 AM »
Netta, I know James told you he wouldn't steal from his family, and of course you know that's a lie.  If he's desperate enough, he'd take your money in a heartbeat.  He's already getting in your phone.  I hate it when people want to violate other people's privacy.  I'm so glad you're sticking to your guns.  And hey, if you have to have the water on illegally for awhile, then that's what you have to do.  I totally understand the survival mode (been there myself).  And the reason I said he'd take your money, is because I stole a couple times from my parents when I was strung out.  When I got clean, it was one of my biggest regrets.  Anyway, I hope things smooth out pretty soon. 

Yesterday, the only thing the ASO did here was to offer people to go to their office and light a candle.  I had a couple things to do after work, so I didn't go.  They  used to have a remembrance service every World Aids Day.  Not anymore.  There wasn't even any mention of it on the local morning news yesterday.  That really pisses me off.  And I also have the cold my boss has.  I mean, nothing serious, but just uncomfortable.  My sinuses feel like an ocean, and my throat is pretty sore.  So, I started taking vitamin C. 

Netta and Queen, you ladies are survivors.  I'm concerned for you two, I hate it when women have to go through the shit you guys are going through.  I'm keeping you guys in my prayers, definitely.  Please hang in there.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Ann

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #81 on: December 02, 2009, 10:01:46 AM »
Netta, next time he tells you he never steals from his family, tell him he's a liar. What the hell does he think he's doing when he puts money for household bills in his crack pipe? If that's not stealing from family, I don't know what is. I mean, if your water gets cut off, he's effectively stolen your family's water. Let him put THAT in his pipe and smoke it! Tell him to cut the excuses and man up. You're in my thoughts.

You too Queen, I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did. My heart aches for you and Netta both.

Ann
« Last Edit: December 02, 2009, 10:06:19 AM by Ann »
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Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #82 on: December 02, 2009, 11:14:41 AM »
Thanks Ann and Bettty fpr your prayers.
I feel like Queen, I never pick the right man!
If I could right a book........
Anyhow water still on so far, I checked his computer and I saw he was in my aids med/womens forum again! SO I deleted my account from his computer! I don't think I can stop him from logging into this site since it is public.

Yesterday I was part of a yearly Aids day service at a unitarian church, which is mostly gay and support the hiv/ aids community. we all come together, clergy, pastors, doctors etc,we have a prayer and talk about where we are in the healing of aids.Our aso services, etc.
I gave my testimony and sang a song called " I won't complain" a gospel song . I brought my oldest grand Brianna 12, to lite the candle. I asked her if she remebered that I had the virus (since i had told her years ago), she said yes. She is a sweetheart. She told me her mom told her me and james for seperating, she is glad, cause she thinks he has a  bad attitude. go figure!
One time James and i were arguing some month ago and he grabbed me around the throat, and I yelled and the kids came running, my grandaughter Brianna was ready to fight him! my 6 year old, Moriah looked at him like he was crazy and months later she told him one day, " Ooh, I got a secret, I know what you did, you remember you choked my grandma that time" funny but not funny. I never told you all this, I asked him to leave then, but he cried and boo hoo to me and the kids that he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again, damm right. I told his family and that I wanted him to move, they made me feel guilty asking me do I love him and all and why i want him to leave,so I forgave him,and told him If things didn't work out by January, that we would split. He knows this but is in denial.This is when I stopped being in love with my husband! I felt guilty all this time. So I think God works in mysterous ways and the break will be for the best.

Of course this is what started
my gd hating him. the youngerstone is indifferent she doesnt understand.
Well  I am down to 127lbs, from 130 and 130 from 156lbs last year at this time!
I will be at peace and get back on a healthy diet soon. My stomach iin knots and my gastritis is acting up.
It is rainig very hard here in Georgia, a day for sleeping!

Queen- I hope things go well for you this week, you should be at the top of the list for housing and foodstamps since you are considered homeless, things should move fast. I hope you find some good doctors. YOu cna pm me your cell phone number and I can text you adn call you.

Good news- Winiroo wrote me today and said she is fine, just taking a break from the hiv life. she said to tell everyone you can reach  her at facebook--Winiroo@att.net

thats it for now, peace to all.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2009, 11:17:48 AM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #83 on: December 02, 2009, 01:52:59 PM »
Hey Folks---

Well, I have found out some interesting things from Papi's son-in-law. Come to find out that Papi is part of a gang...The Latin Kings. I know a little about them from watching Gangland on the History channel. He never told me because he was scared I would leave him. Come to find out he has family in the gang too and they gave him a gun. Now I am wondering if he is up to something. I honestly am not scared, I refuse to live in fear even though he knows where I am at. I get a text this am from son-in-law saying that Papi couldn't find his mp3 player and accused me of taking it. Wtf? I got my own mp3 player, why the hell I want his? Just him trying to start more drama. I am waiting to get my cam and playstation games, the snl is going to bring them to me, after that I am getting my cell phone number changed.

The shelter folks had a meeting with me yesterday. Because of my status and being here, I am on top of the list for housing. I pray they don't put me in a bad area but at this point I'll take what I can get. My social worker is suppose to take me somewhere today to see about it, I think. I don't have food stamps yet but I am going to ask him about it when he gets in at 3. I am waiting for the doc here to give me a referral to see about getting new hearing aids. The left one is done for good and the right one is not far behind. I am also suppose to get a referral to some ASO called Isis. I did get my flu shot and TB test the other day. I have no clue where my counts are since I have not seen a doctor yet but when I do I am expecting it to be well below 250 considering the stress I have been under and being w/o meds. Netta, I hear you, I don't want a joint, I want a fat ass blunt about now. I lost a few pounds, went from 178 to 172. And if I could I would give you some of my fat... :D

Netta, I also agree with Ann. James is already stealing from you or you wouldn't be in the mess you are in. And his fam is making you feel guilty because they don't want to deal with his ass. And I know all about shit getting physical. It had happened with me and Papi. Another reason why I am glad he threw me out, he actually did me a favor because everytime we argued it was getting physical. And he was going through my phone numbers too. He even accused me of being a lesbian because of a shirt that Em sent to me last year that had the gay colors. Accused of talking to men because of being spammed by dating sites, it just went on and on. And no, I didn't marry him but already had an engagement ring picked out though. Thank the Goddess I didn't marry his ass but couldn't legally cause I am still married to another asshole, the first one who physically abused me. The only reason I still am is because I couldn't afford a divorce and Papi was going to pay for it.

Keep me in your prayers. Netta you are in mine and I will send you and Betty my cell number....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline HollyStar

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #84 on: December 03, 2009, 01:53:04 AM »
Hi ladies,

Ya I'm still around and reading the forums, I just don't have much to say, so I don't post, until NOW, MUAHHHHHHH! lol.

First of all, Netta, I feel for you! I am with a recovering addict and his drug of choice was the same as your husbands. I know the hell you are going through. I don't how I put up with it so long but in my situation, I'm glad we worked it out. What scares me about your situation Netta is the violence. You know he has it in him because he has been violent before. Add dope to that and you never know what he will do when he has been high for several days. Paranoia has already come in to play and let me tell you it will likely get worse. Just be safe in whatever you decide. You don't need this and we can't make our mates change. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. You are in my thoughts.

Queen, I just want to scream for you. I don't blame you for swearing off Men. I'm glad that the shelter is there for you though. I know this isn't the situation you pictured yourself in in NY, but you are a tough cookie. I'll be thinking about you.

Betty, I'd be pissed if my boss was hacking all over my back, jeez! I hope you are feeling better soon.

I hope you all had a nice Holiday. We made a ton of food and no one really ate much. My Mom and I cooked for two days and hardly anyone even had desert! I even made a homemade strawberry cheesecake and an eggless pumpkin pie (came out a little weird actually but you can't win them all, lol). It was nice being with my family but it was soooooooooo cold and I don't miss living there at all. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a nice week.

Holly
Diagnosed  July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

'If your ship doesn't come, swim out to it.' - Jonathan Winters

Offline minismom

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #85 on: December 03, 2009, 05:52:45 AM »
Netta, I'm glad you've gotten rid of him.  Personally, I don't think you should wait until January to kick him out just because he "promises" to pay off your car.  I'm sure he's made lots of promises - how many has he kept?  Every day he's there is another day for something to go bad for you, your daughter, and your grandbabies.  I agree with Ann: he's been stealing from you, and Queen: his own family doesn't want him around.  Have you filed for a restraining order?  I would.  I hate to say it, but at this point getting arrested may be the best thing for him.  In jail he could get rehab services and counsoling.

Thanks for the update about Wendy.  Before I forget, we live in West Virginia.  So far that was the only snow we've gotten and it didn't stick.  One year we had a complete white-out in October.  THAT was horrible.  Right now the wind is howling something fierce and it's pouring the rain.  High today is 47, lows in the 20's.  Warmest this weekend is predicted at 37.  I just hope we don't end up with ice.

Queen, good grief you have been through it.  For your sake, I'm glad that Papi kicked you out, too.  Not only did he save you from from himself and the gang, but now you have priority access to the services that you need.  Hon, if you ever change your mind about living in the woods, you know where you have a place to go. 

Betty, that really stinks that you're sick.  Even the most selfish people will share their cooties.  Are you feeling any better?  BTW, Hubby appreciated the kiss ;)

It's official - my dryer is now FIXED!  Thank goodness!  Now I can get the clothes off the curtain rods, the backs of chairs, door knobs, and the shower curtain.  Among other things I need to do today, looks like I'm doing laundry.  And, for once, I'm not complaining about it.  Now if we could only get our car back...

Usually by now I have all my Christmas decorations up: 3 trees, knick-knacks, lights inside and out, yard stuff, towels, ect.  This year, I've not even bought a Christmas card.  Not sure why, but I'm totally unmotivated to decorate.  If the kids start asking, we'll get their trees and let them decorate.  Other than that, everything else (except the wrapping paper) is staying in the barn.  Not sure what's up this year.  I'm not depressed, not feeling bad, just not in the mood. 

Tomorrow after Co-op, Hubby is going to interpret an OSHAA training seminar for some non-English speaking Hispanics and the kids (all 7) are going to my friends' house to help her get ready for her Christmas party on Saturday.  One of the things she's asked me to do is help the kids (her's and our's) to decorate their tree.  Maybe that'll get me in the mood to do my own - but I doubt it.  Then I'll help her do the nit-picky cleaning (dusting, baseboards, walls,...).  Speaking of walls, I scrubbed mine on Tuesday and what a difference.  All the smudgies are gone, for now.  Not sure why my kids can't walk down the hall without running their hands on the wall.  Most of them can reach the light switches, but theys till run their hands up the walls to turn on the lights.

Saturday, I have to make something for a Christmas potluck lunch for oldest son's CAP.  Then that night we're going to my friends' for her party.  Sunday evening, I'm having a cookie swap so I need to bake 5 dozen cookies and make finger food.  When am I going to do all this?  Well, since I've not even done the shopping for it - I have no idea.  I thought Hubby had another week of classes before finals, but he doesn't.  This is it.  He has 2 tests on Tuesday (regular tests), 1 final on Thursday, then 2 more on Tuesday.  Then he's done until January 19th - the same day 2 of our girls have ENT appointments.  Planned that one well, didn't I? :-\

Nothing much else going on.  Baby is doing great.  He was 4lbs 6oz when he was born, and Tuesday (his 2mth birthday) he went in for a check-up and weighted 9lbs 1oz.  We've had him for L O N G hours this week (7am - 11pm) and Friday night he's spending the night.  But, he's a really easy baby.  He just better learn to sleep all night before Friday ::)

Here's to a great Thursday, a quick Friday, and a nice relaxing weekend.

Mum

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Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #86 on: December 03, 2009, 05:59:19 AM »
Netta, I'm sure you know, that if a man starts to get violent, it's just going to escalate.  I've also dealt with an abusive partner, and it was no fun at all, having to guess what kind of mood he was going to be in.  Holly's right about the paranoia, which seems to happen a lot with coke addicts.  I remember being in houses, back when I was really strung out, and seeing coke addicts sitting in their chairs, with all their drapes drawn, thinking that the police were behind the trees.  Please be very, very careful, and if he gets violent again, I say throw his ass in jail.  That's total bullshit for him to treat you like that, and it makes me want to kick his ass.  I have no sympathy for men who abuse their partners.  Wow, please take care of yourself, and I'll continue keeping you in my prayers. 

Queen, damn, the Latin Kings?  I watch Gangland on the History channel also, and have seen the episode about them.  I don't know how far he'd go, or why he would want to come after you, but man, watch your back.  I'm glad you are where you are, and not with him anymore, especially if he's in that gang.  I mean, I think it's sad that gangsters know and accept that their lives are either going to end being killed or in prison.  What an outlook.         I hope you were able to talk to your caseworker, and please keep us in the loop about the places you look at.  When do you see your ID doc next?  Please take care of yourself, and your health.  I'll be continuing to keep you in my prayers as well also.

Holly, good to hear from you.  That cheesecake sounds so good.  If I would have been there, I would have had some.  Where did you go that's so cold?  It's 38 degrees here today, with snow supposedly starting later today.  I hate winter!

I'm feeling kind of blue today.  On World Aids Day, I was thinking about the people I've personally lost, and I can't seem to get them off my mind.  I don't know why.  Sometimes it gets overwhelming.  I need to start thinking about something else. 

And my feet and muscles in the lower backs of my legs have been bothering me, I mean really bad.  Years ago, when I was on the older HIV meds, they caused peripheral neuropathy, which has gotten worse and worse.  I had posted in a thread in LTS'ers that they felt a bit better on these new meds I'm on, but now they don't seem to.  They feel like numb weights (I don't know if that makes sense), and the muscles in the lower backs of my legs feel tight all the time, and crampy.  It especially bothers me when I'm driving.  The car I bought is a stick shift (that was a stupid purchase), and it feels like my muscles are burning when I push in on any petal.  I was at a stoplight yesterday, and a cop pulled up behind me.  I had my foot on the clutch, of course, and it almost came off from the pain.  That made me paranoid, thinking 'geez, if my foot slips off the clutch, the car will stall and jerk backwards, probably hitting the cop.'   Anyway, I'm already on a pretty high dose of Neurontin, and don't want to add a narcotic at all.  Maybe if I can find someone to massage my feet (yeah, right). ;)  OK, there ends my rant.  You all have a good one, and Netta and Queen, please continue to hang in there. 

Edited to add:  Netta, I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but think about your granddaughters.  They look to you for an example, and need to know that violence and drug use cannot be tolerated in a relationship/marriage.  Sorry if that came out wrong, but I just wanted to say it.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2009, 07:25:32 AM by BT65 »
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #87 on: December 03, 2009, 01:44:59 PM »
 :)Betty you are so right, I already know if he gets violent, I will call police and get him out of here and a restraining order. I was ashamed berfore when the violence happened, thats why I didn't tell you all,it was about 4 months ago. Now I have a reality check.
Minsmom- the reason I gave him January is because he gets his income tax and will have money to move. I am not concerned about him paying the loan on my car. I will have to do that.
If he gets high and blows his money in January, he will be living in a shelter. Good news is that he has been looking for an apartment, I 've seen online.Hopefully he will leave soon before January. It is hard to sleep in the same bed, I have nitemares and thoughts of him strangling me to death!
If I don't sleep in the smae bed, he hassels me when I am on the couch. At least he knows its over and there will be no sex, hasn't been in a while anyway ::) Oh the time that he first messed up his money about a month ago,I pawned my ring and my lcd/dvd Tv and that hurt me ,but I had to get money for groceries that week. It has been going downhill since then. I have to pay back money to get my tv out and I will be paying something on it today, I don't want to lose anything! I owe 200.00, I will only be able to pay 50.00 this month, but thats better than nothing, I told them they better not sell it. I am taking money from my phone bill to pay it. I don't care if my phone gets cut off, my dh and gd have cell phones, plus his will get cut off too! so he will have to pay the phone bill, or else!
I have to take my dog to the vet and she is 2 weeks behind on her shots, I will take her Monday. I am not going to be able to keep her, because my grand daughter is scared to death of dogs. So I will be selling her for a resonable price ,after she gets her shots. This hurts me alot but what can I do.??? maybe when I get my own place I will get another one, they are  alot of work, but worth it. Plus I plan on traveling to visit my sister in Virginia Beach soon.MINSMom I hope to visit you too one day! how far are you from  there??
Friday my dd and I go to the house to get it inspected, things are moving along with the purchase. Iam so proud of her, at 30 yrs old buying her first house! Its not a new house or an exspensive house, but it  brick and charming. I will get to see inside tomorrow, I am so excited!
Queen I hoe you get in a good neighborhood also, but most of new york  neighborhoods have been renovated and really are nice, Brooklyn and Queens have nice housing. My son lives in a renovated building in Manhattan and it is beautiful and his apartment is based on income. I visit new york requently and my mom in Queens so I will be looking you up in the near future. when yo uget settled I will put you in touch with my mom and stepdad, they live in Springfield Gardens,Queens so if you stay in Queens you will have some support. My mom is a real trip but she is a very caring person. They don't have a car at the moment, but she will tell you how to get around Queens.
Well thats it for me.
Queen -Our lives are like a soap opera!!!! Also you should be able to get a divorce for free, through legal aide, please ccheck into it, you qualify for being disabled and low income.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2009, 01:48:20 PM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline emeraldize

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #88 on: December 03, 2009, 08:04:47 PM »
Without getting into a lot of details as to why I'm suggesting this, aside from the obvious that this is a public-access site, may I suggest that any of you who have unpredictable men in your lives, please don't post much info here. It could contain a clue as to how to find you, piss someone off that you're airing your stuff here, give too many personal details, and so on.

There's not a woman in this forum who hasn't met a man who's made their lives difficult at one time or another--but this holiday season, it seems the number is high---not just in this forum. The economy, addictions, psychological profiles, etc. are part of the recipe for confusion and aggression.

My goal in suggesting that you use PMs sent to multiple names, or a covert thread of sorts, is to ensure those most affected will be alive in 2010 to discuss how much better things are going.

Go ahead, call me a mother.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2009, 10:03:22 PM by emeraldize »

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #89 on: December 03, 2009, 08:07:43 PM »
I am crying over Queen now.  GF please take care of yourself.  I wish you could live in my basement apt, but with the good green and the kids here every other weekend......  Shit.     More soon.  :(
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Snowangel

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #90 on: December 03, 2009, 10:09:43 PM »
Queen- Dang, girl, that is not good news.  I hope he is just running his mouth, just watch your back. Listen to your instincts.  I am so glad you are out of there.  That is good news about being put at the top of the list.  I hope they find you a nice place in a good area, and something happens with your food stamps, doc appts and your hearing aids.  I am thinking of you!

Netta-I think you are doing good, it took me years until I told anyone what really happened with my sons father. Fear and denial are not a good mix and when there is physical abuse involved it makes it 100 times harder.  In this day and age, a lot of people are robbing peter to pay paul, you will probably suprise yourself on how creative you can get. You have a plan, stick with it, and you will do fine. Remember, there is no truer statement than "Actions speak louder than words".

Hi Holly- I agree with BT, your cheesecake sounded yummy!  Nice to see you!


Em- As usual, well put.  Good idea.

Mum-  I don't know how you do it. Good luck to your Hubby on his exams.

BT- I hope u are feeling better.

My screen is jumping, I'll be back.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline HollyStar

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #91 on: December 03, 2009, 10:51:01 PM »
Netta, I'm seriously worried about your safety. I hope that he leaves soon and you can change the locks! It may get to the point though that YOU have to leave. My goodness , just be careful. He is not safe to be around, at all! There is no reason to be ashamed for what he has done to you. He is the one who should be ashamed. But, with this particular addiction, the conscience is one of the first things to go it seems. I'll be thinking about you.


Queen, what's up? I'll be thinking about you too.

And I too agree with Em as far as people snooping and safety possibly being compromised. On the other hand, sometimes there is nowhere else to turn. I wish there was a live chat forum on this site, so we could all chat in real time with no 'record' so to speak. I think there used to be one on the old forum but I don't think it really worked.

Snow, good to 'see' ya. That cheesecake I made was super good if I do say so myself! I got the recipe from allrecipes.com . I'm addicted to that site. The iced pumpkin Cookie's were also pretty spectacular! Toot, Toot (a horn you know, lol).

Betty, if you were here, I would make you that cheesecake, lol (seriously). I spent my hol iday in the co ld dessert.

Everything still going good with me. Hearing about all the hard times people are having make me remember how difficult it was for me in the past and make me truly grateful for what I have now. Like I said before, it has been hard but I'm glad that my bf and I worked things out.

On Saturday, we have a little adventure planned. We are taking all six of our dogs to a vaccination clinic. It's so much cheaper than going to the Vet but getting them there is a hassle. They don't all get a long so we have to take three in each vehicle, drive an hour, wait in line with more polite dogs than ours, lol, fill out paper work and go back and forth to each vehicle to switch the dogs out. Seriously! LOL! But, I am so glad that there is a low cost clinic, otherwise I couldn't afford it. So this should be fun!



Typos on purpose :-X
« Last Edit: December 03, 2009, 10:56:36 PM by HollyStar »
Diagnosed  July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

'If your ship doesn't come, swim out to it.' - Jonathan Winters

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #92 on: December 04, 2009, 07:19:04 AM »
Morning all,

Netta, what that asshole did has nothing to do with you (his abuse).  He decided to act like that all by himself.  You didn't do anything to make that happen, so don't be ashamed at all.  I hope you stay safe until he gets out of there.  Is there some reason you're not kicking him out now?  Can you not afford the apartment on your own, with your daughter?  Is his name on the lease?  I was just wondering, not trying to be overbearing.  I'm asking, because with what he's done so far, I definitely would not feel safe as long as he's around.  I'm so sorry you had to pawn stuff.  I've had to do that before, and it sucks.  I'm excited for you to see your daughter's house.  I wish you so much happiness and I keep you (and Queen) in my prayers. 

Queen, if you're reading, I did try to call you last night.  It was a bit late (9:30 my time), sorry.  I'll try again.  It is a bit concerning that you posted about Papi's gang affiliation.  I hope he doesn't read that and, go looking for you.  Please, please let us know how you're doing. 

Snow, how are things going for you?

Holly, good luck getting the dogs their shots.  Sounds like quite an adventure. 

My sinuses are plugged, and draining down my throat.  I guess if it's no better by Monday, I'll see about going to the doctor.  I had stopped taking the vitamin C, because I was feeling a bit better.  So, I'm going to restart that today.

Today I have some shopping to do.  It's only 21 degrees here, and it's a bit chilly in my apartment.  One of my friends is letting me use one of his radiator type heaters, and that helps a lot.  Yesterday at work, there was a huge food donation, so I spent the afternoon helping with that, going through boxes to see what was spoiled, carrying boxes around, and trying to get things put away.  It was actually a nice break from being at a desk.  I get headaches when I look at a computer for 6 hours.  Anyway, ladies, please all be safe, and have a good one.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #93 on: December 04, 2009, 11:12:55 AM »
I'm not kicking him out now, because he name is on the lease, my daughter and grands live with me so I am not really scared. Also he has no money to get a room etc. i gave him till January because we may be moving ourseves. Also he gets his income tax then and we can't afford this place by ourself. Today he is getting a loan to pay some bills maybe. He knows he has to move, if he stays out again and fucks up his check, he will be gone sooner. As long as he is civil and peacefull. So far he has been. he has also been looking for apartments and rooms. He has a half brother not far from here so he has a support system. still he has not gone to any meetings. I really need to get my car paid with the income tax, he will have plenty money left, so now i am doing what I gotta do. Will stay safe.

I text Queen last nite and she was ok.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2009, 11:16:12 AM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #94 on: December 04, 2009, 11:52:13 AM »
Thanks ladies for your concern, it is really appreciated. Yeah, I did think about what I posted about Papi after I wrote it. But I know if he came on the site and read it my phone would be full of text messages. So, I know he didn't. But he did leave me more threats thru text yesterday and admitted that when I thought I was talking to the son-in-law, it was actually him.He was stupid enough to admit it. I have all the texts saved and he knows I am going for an order of protection. I got threatened behind that too. I called the police/911 and it took them over 3 hours to get here but I filed a report. They read the texts and I have them saved on my phone. He went on to threaten me and my son. He already knows where I am because he overheard son-in-law repeating the addy. Like I said, I refuse to live in fear and he is pissed because I left him and won't let him control me.

Betty, I did get your message. I was in the middle of something and couldn't answer. I did buy a bluetooth ear piece last night. I have been playing around with that and I can hear a little bit better. So when we talk, you will have to speak a little bit louder. And we are on the same time so don't worry about it being late, 9:30 to me is not late. Though since being here I have been going to bed early, usually sleeping by 11 now.

I was talking with Netta last night through text. I honestly think she should've kicked him out too. And I feel he is doing nothing but running game on her about the financial stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if he blows through his money again. For her sake, I really hope he doesn't.

Holly--Mmmmm, about now I wish I had some of that cheesecake. The food over here sucks majorly, it's like cafeteria food, no flavor just plain bland.

Cindy--- No tears and no worries. I believe everything is going to work out for me despite the threats. And thanks for the offer of your basement but you're right, I couldn't be there just because of the green but my ciggies too.

Mum-- I appreciate your offer too but I can handle the country (thinking along the lines of Green Acres). Plus I watch too many horror movies, people get jacked up in those there woods... :D

Netta-- You are right, our lives has been nothing but a soap opera. We ought to come up with a name for it... ;) I am hoping they will put me somewhere decent too. I don't want to be in Queens cause that is where he is. And are you serious about the free divorce? Wonders if my CM can help with that? It would help me in this situation because no one knows my maiden name.

I am worried for my son more than myself really. I am thinking he kept letters my son wrote me so he has his addy where he is. I am wondering if I should try to notify the bootcamp or if they would even do anything at all.

I won't be able to get on during the weekend so I'll talk to you ladies on Monday unless you contact me by phone..... :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #95 on: December 05, 2009, 08:01:37 AM »
Netta, I'm very concerned for you.  I believe like Queen does, that he's telling you he's going to do this and that, mainly because he doesn't want to be on the street.  My 2nd husband had similar actions.  When he got a student loan, he would stay out all night, and go through all the money. Anyway, what ended up happening, was that he took my ATM card, found my pin number, and wiped out my entire bank account.  You should remember from your old relationships what using addicts are really like.  And if he hasn't sought help, why do you think he's going to act any different.  Because he says he is?  You know he's a liar.  Did something magically change in the past week that we're unaware of?  I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but you really need to think about all this.  Just watch out for yourself. 

Queen, you are one tough lady.  And it was good to talk to you for a couple minutes yesterday.  I don't really know what the bootcamp your son is in would do.  Maybe they would be on the look-out, if there are L.K.'s there.  Usually the administration of a place knows people who are in gangs, and their affiliation.  Maybe they could watch out for your son.   Or maybe, you could ask the officers for a copy of their report you could send to the bootcamp.  Of course, I don't know if that would help or not.  Just please keep yourself safe.  I hope you're in a safe place.  I'm glad you were able to get some Chinese last night.  The last place I went through treatment at four years ago was at the homeless center here.  So I know what you mean about the food.  Because, when I would eat lunch there, it was not very good.  I think sometimes places like that cut too many corners with food.  They need to have it tasting good.  Anyway, I'm glad you have a place to stay, and I hope you find a nice apartment soon.  And I'm also glad your case manager helps you. 

The church I work at, because of the work we do for people, had some tickets donated for the local symphony's concert tonight.  So, I'm probably going to that this evening.  I'm going to do a little shopping for my grandkids today (the two here).  They came over for a little while last night.  My granddaughter is a gem, well behaved and thoughtful. My grandson is very busy, into everything.  It makes me kind of nervous, because I have a tower heater in my living room, and he almost knocked it down a couple times.  And he kept rearranging things on the cabinet-like thing, and the "mom" didn't do anything about it.  I remember when I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to touch anything in someone else's home, and would get in big trouble if I did.  Times must have changed.  Anyway, I need to cruise the rest of the forums for a minute, then eat breakfast.  Have a good one ladies.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline netta

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #96 on: December 05, 2009, 11:44:18 AM »
Well he did get a loan and get some bills paid. We talked last nite and he wants to move on his next check, says we are treating him bad. whatever! He wants his name off the lease and doesn't want to be held accountable for  the rent, which is fine and I am working on that, soon as we know when he is  moving, He told his family we r breaking up and he is moving and he wants a divorce. fine also with me. One thing he said that was true, he knows I am not in love with him,i was in love with who I thought he was. Of course he points blame at me ,but i don't care, i just let him talk.
"to thine own self be true"

Offline Sheri

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #97 on: December 05, 2009, 09:03:26 PM »
Good evening ladies,

I haven't been on Poz for a while, and I was sad to read all of the new developments that have transpired.  Queen and Netta, you are both in my prayers through these difficult situations.  I am so proud of both of you for ending the relationships.  You both deserve better than these men are giving you, and it takes major strength to walk away when you've emotionally invested so much, and when you have both given up so much (losing your Section 8, moving away, etc).  I am not aware of any resources in your respective communities that can help, but if I come across anything useful I will PM you.

To the other regular posters i.e BT, tendai, Snow, Mum, #1 mom, and anyone else I've missed (and semi-regular and also infrequent posters like myself), hope you are all well.  I am currently in DC for an HIV programs training for a few days.  It is the first time that I've left my 7 year old, and I miss her so much; she couldn't come because she would have missed too much school.   But she knows I'm here for her, to learn more so I can better advocate for her needs, and she's with her grandparents being spoiled rotten.    Hubby and the baby are here with me; he's watching her while I attend my sessions.  I am learning a lot about HIV eradication attempts, HIV vaccine research, co-morbidity with Hep B and other ailments, and community action models for HIV programs.  It's fascinating and overwhelming at the same time.  So much to learn, so little time.  Anyway, greetings to you all.  Sheri

Offline BT65

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #98 on: December 06, 2009, 07:23:44 AM »
Netta, I think it's for the best that he moves.  You're much better off without him.  You have a lot to offer the world, and he just brings you down.  Of course you know he's trying to guilt you into staying with him, or at least he's not accepting blame for anything.  That's detestable to me, when a grown person won't accept responsibility for something directly caused by them.  But, that's addiction for you.  I never accepted responsibility.  But, sooner or later, someone has to either get off the pity pot or shit.  He seems like he chooses to shit.

Sherri, good to hear from you.  And good luck at the conference.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline HollyStar

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Re: LADIES THREAD # 67.....HOLY CRAP, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING!!!!!
« Reply #99 on: December 07, 2009, 02:05:03 AM »
Hi Ladies,

Netta, I'm glad that some of the bills were paid. I hope you are doing alright. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

Betty, did you get to the concert? And, I know what you mean about some kids (and some adults) getting into things and going wild in someone else's home. I didn't have the best childhood but I knew there were boundries! Anyway, I hope you had a good time with the kids.

Queen, I hope your weekend was ok. I'm thinking about you.

Mum, I still don't know how you do it all.

We only took four dogs to the vaccine clinic on Saturday. We'll take the other two next Saturday. We got there early but we were still waiting in line for an hour. So many dogs! We had to take the critters in groups from the truck. I wonder if some of the people think we're irresponsible for having so many animals. On the other hand, I just couldn't say no when I laid eyes on these creatures and we take care of them the best we can. All in all it was an eventful day!

Now, I'm just trying to figure out Christmas shopping. Last year I did most of the shopping online and got some good deals but this year the wallet is a bit tight (who's isn't!?!). It's hard for me to leave people out, so this should be interesting. Well that's it for me. I hope you all have a good one.
Diagnosed  July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

'If your ship doesn't come, swim out to it.' - Jonathan Winters

 


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